History Funny / TheOrderOfTheStick

--> '''[[spoiler: Vampire Durkon]]:''' aye... mabbe I haf changed but tha two o' ye're still the same old dicks!

-->'''Miko:''' "Without proper training, it is nigh impossible to tell the good dragons from the evil ones. In your ignorance, you may have slain a powerful force for Good in this world! What proof do you have that you did not vanquish a stalwart defender of the weak in your mad lust for treasure?"
-->'''Roy:''' "Umm...its scales weren't all shiny?"
-->'''Miko:''' "Ah. Then its destruction was just and necessary."

-->'''Haley:''' "News flash, Roy: every quest we've done has been all about YOU. 'I want to beat Xykon, I want the starmetal, I want to bump uglies with the paladin.'"
-->'''Miko:''' [[CompletelyMissingThePoint "The proper term is 'smite evil',]] [[ChasteHero not 'bump uglies'."]]

--> '''Belkar:''' "No one pays you to think, ears!"
--> '''Vaarsuvius:''' "...They actually pay me to do nothing BUT think, you moron!"

-->'''Belkar:''' Look, if they can't get actual buffalo wings, why the heck are they on the menu? I'm doing them a service. It's not my fault my mouth waters at the thought of biting into juicy, delicious, nonexistent appendages of an endangered species.
-->'''Winged Buffalo:''' Oh, that is IT! I am going over there!
-->'''Other Winged Buffalo:''' Calm down, Harold. We're supposed to be having a nice dinner.

-->'''Durkon:''' Filterin' the coffee wit Roy's sweat socks was a nice touch.
-->'''Vaarsuvius:''' I pride myself on attention to detail.

-->'''Roy''': Holy crap, [[EvilTwin Nale!]]
-->'''Nale''': Long time no see.
-->'''Roy''': Damn, he's just some sort of mental projection into my brain!
-->'''Nale''': As you can no doubt tell, I am mentally projecting these words into your brain. So just sit there--
-->'''Roy''': ''[[BeatPanel [beat]]]''
-->'''Roy''': ...hello?
-->'''Nale''': Ah, sorry. I forgot the spell has a limit of 25 words per spell casting. Never mind, where was I? Oh right, I was saying--
-->'''Roy''': ''[[BeatPanel [beat]]]''
-->'''Nale''': Sorry, ran out of words again. Anyway, I was contacting you so that we might find a way, as fellow strategists, to come to an--
-->'''Roy''': ''*[[FacePalm facepalm]]*''
-->'''Nale''': --DAMN STUPID SPELL! I mean, who can get anything really meaningful said in 25 frickin' words?! I'm going to find whoever designed this spell and--

-->'''Wight 1:''' Did-did that halfling just hit me in the face with a pineapple??\\

* Durkon [[http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0561.html doesn't approve of]] [[CargoCult Banjoists or Gigglesists]]
-->'''Durkon:''' But...but thar na real gods! Thar puppets! Cannae ya see tha thar just puppets?!?
-->'''Elan:''' The only way to settle this dispute between two gods is with a pie-eating contest!
-->'''Orcs:''' ''hooray!''
-->'''Durkon:''' PUPPETS CANNAE EVEN '''EAT''' PIE!!!

-->'''Lord Shojo''': Look, I'm sorry he needs his teeth filled, but it's not my fault! You said it was OK to feed him table scraps when you were gone!
-->'''Hinjo''': A 20-lb. tub of strawberry frosting does not qualify as a "table scrap"!
-->'''Lord Shojo''': Then you obviously haven't been eating at the right tables!

'''Ian:''' ''(sotto voce, to Haley)'' Wow. You've gotten good at this.

--> '''Blackwing''': He's not stopping us from going up [the tunnel they fell down].
--> '''Vaarsuvius''': Ah, Sir Greenhilt and the others must have already descended into the pyramid.
--> '''Qarr''': Oh come on! Now you're just guessing!

** The above, as well as everything out of the Oracle's mouth, becomes much funnier if, like me, you read him as having the voice of GilbertGottfried.

* [http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0415.html Teevo]]

-->'''Winged Buffalo:''' Oh, that is IT! I'm am going over there!

-->'''Belkar:''' Geez, what is it with that guy and needing to figure out all the fiddly little details?
-->'''Haley:''' I know, right? It's called, "Suspension of Disbelief," Roy!

* The demon roaches make their first appearance here. Their [[DeadpanSnarker snarky]], [[NoFourthWall fourth-wall busting]] comments are a kind of MST3K.

* The demon roaches make their first appearance here. Their [[DeadpanSnarker snarky]], [[NoFourthWall fourth-wall busting]] comments are a kind of MST2K.

* The demon roaches.

* The Monster in the Darkness ''IS'' crowning moment incarnate. From his very first appearance, when he's at least ''trying'' to be the beast of untold horror Xykon wants him to be, he proves to be an endless source of comic gold. Gold such as...

* The Linear Guild discovering that Girard's Gate is in another pyramid.

* How does nale realize he's in a fantasy?
-->'''Nale''': [[http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0892.html Hold on I've been describing my evil scheme for over an hour and you're]] '''[[http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0892.html still]]''' [[http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0892.html tied up?]]

-->'''Nale''': Whoa! Did you see that?
//'''Malack''': Yes.
//'''Nale''': Before of after I triggered it ?
//'''Malack''': ...