History Funny / TheBardsTale

* The label on the game’s disc has a message reading “For [[ThisLoserIsYou a really disturbing image]], [[SchmuckBait flip disc over]].”

* The label on the game’s disc has a message reading “For a really disturbing image, [[SchmuckBait flip disc over]].”

* Bobd's AlmostDeadGuy moment with the Bard after being run through by the Nuckelavee. Especially his FamousLastWords besides the directions after the Bard knelt closer to listen: "Get your knee off my chest!"

'''Bard:''' You'd be surprised. I find all kinds of things inside these beasties. Did I ever tell you about the time I killed this rat and [[HammerSpace out popped an entire chest...]]\\

--->'''Narrator:''' The Bard, having slain the random wolf, found that it had digested not only the contents of a small treasury but also various household goods... Wait, am I reading that correctly? That can't be right.\\

* CowTipping. It serves no purpose other then poops and giggles.

** "Score" is an archaic way of saying "twenty", which basically means "prepare for a ZergRush".

** This little exchange betwen them when you kill your first encounter with a standard wolf is a gem, too:
--->'''Narrator:''' The Bard having slain the random wolf found that it had digested not only the contents of a small treasury but also various household goods... Wait, am I reading that correctly? That can't be right.\\

'''Bard: What?''' That's a major source of income! You cheap, good for nothing horse's...\\

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pbv3-QGRhfg "You got served!"]]
* The bard comes across a ferry that the operator says takes you INTO THE FUTURE! When the bard asks how far into the future it will take him, the operator says, "It depends on how long the ride is."

-->'''Dugan:''' Oh you'll encounter some undead warriors.
-->'''Bard:''' How many?
-->'''Dugan:''' Oh, a few. A score. Now then you'll-
-->'''Bard:''' Wait! Which is it? A few or a score? There's a big difference.
-->'''Dugan:''' [[BreadEggsBreadedEggs A few score]]. Now as I was saying.

* The 2004 ''TheBardsTale'' has quite a few of these, many of which come when you choose the snarky option during dialogues.

** You can also get some fun reading on the descriptions for your summons and bonus artifacts. For example, when describing the rat.
--> '''Narrator:''' A common rat. I was of course referring to the animal and not the bard.
*** Hell, the Narrator (voiced by the fantastic late Creator/TonyJay) is just hilarious in general, in his own DeadpanSnarker way. Especially when he and the Bard (as voiced by CaryElwes) [[LampshadeHanging start]] [[MediumAwareness bickering]].
--> '''Narrator:''' [[SarcasmMode All hail the Bard, Rat Killer and Rodent Bane, who has bravely made the cellars once again safe for buxom barmaids and wanton widows!]] ...Or has he?\\
[[spoiler:A giant rat sneaks up from behind and [[BreathWeapon breathes fire]], engulfing the Bard and forcing him to retreat]]\\

** The little exchange betwen them when you kill your first encounter with a standard wolf is a gem, too:
-->'''Narrator:''' The Bard having slain the random wolf found that it had digested not only the contents of a small treasury but also various household goods... Wait, am I reading that correctly? That can't be right.\\

* The bard comes across a ferry that the operator says takes you INTO THE FUTURE! And then the bard asks how far into the future it will take him. To which the operator says "It depends on how long the ride is"

* Every time the characters start singing. Especially the three small Trows who pop out of nowhere every time the Bard finds the remains of a Chosen One for singing about his horrible fate.

-->'''Dugan:'''[[BreadEggsBreadedEggs A few score]]. Now as I was saying.
** "Score" is an archaic way of saying "twenty." Basically; "prepare for a ZergRush".

* Cow tipping. It serves no purpose other then poops and giggles.

-->'''Dugan:'''[[BreadEggsBreadedEggs A few score]]. Now as I was saying.

*** Hell, the Narrator (voiced by the fantastic late TonyJay) is just hilarious in general, in his own DeadpanSnarker way. Especially when he and the Bard (as voiced by CaryElwes) [[LampshadeHanging start]] [[MediumAwareness bickering]].

* Every time the characters start singing. Especially the three small Trows who pop out of nowhere every time the Bard finds the remains of a Chosen One for singing about his horrible fate.

* Cow tipping. It serves no purpose other then poops and giggles.

--> '''Narrator:''' [[SarcasmMode All hail the Bard, Rat Killer and Rodent Bane, who has bravely made the cellars once again safe for buxom barmaids and wanton widows!]] [[OrIsIt ...Or has he?]]\\

'''Bard:''' You'd be surprised. I find all kinds of things inside these beasties. Did I ever tell ou about the time I killed this rat and [[HammerSpace out popped an entire chest...]]\\

* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pbv3-QGRhfg "You got served!"]]

*** Hell, the Narrator (voiced by the fantastic late Tony Jay) is just hilarious in general, in his own DeadpanSnarker way. Especially when he and the Bard (as voiced by CaryElwes) [[LampshadeHanging start]] [[MediumAwareness bickering]].
--> '''Narrator:''' [[SarcasmMode All hail the Bard, Rat Killer and Rodent Bane, who has bravely made the cellars once again safe for buxom barmaids and wanton widows!]] [[OrIsIt ...Or has he?]]
--> [[spoiler:A giant rat sneaks up from behind and [[BreathWeapon breathes fire]], engulfing the Bard and forcing him to retreat]]
--> ''(later)
--> '''Narrator:''' All hail the Bard, Rat Killer and Rodent Bane, who has bravely ma-
--> '''Bard:''' ''[snappily]'' How 'bout you tell the story and leave the sarcastic patronising to me?
** '''Narrator:''' The Bard having slain the random wolf found that it had digested not only the contents of a small treasury but also various household goods... wait am I reading that correctly? That can't be right.
--> '''Bard:''' You'd be surprised. I find all kinds of things inside these beasties. Did I ever tell ou about the time I killed this rat and [[HammerSpace out popped an entire chest...]]
--> '''Narrator:''' Well, I'm just going to skip those passages in the future.
--> '''Bard: What?''' That's a major source of income! You cheap, good for nothing horse's...
--> '''Narrator:''' Ahem And so the Bard continued on his journey.

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