History Funny / TheAvengersEarthsMightiestHeroes

** This was in response to the [[WhatAnIdiot Absorbing Man changing from metal to rock.]] He not only could actually take a punch from the Hulk in his metal form, he had the gall to brag about absorbing a weaker material. Cue the Hulk punching his arm off and the aforementioned line.

** This was in response to the Absorbing Man changing from metal to rock. He not only could actually take a punch from the Hulk in his metal form, he had the gall to brag about absorbing a weaker material. Cue the Hulk punching his arm off and the aforementioned line.

--> Well, [[ShesGotLegs the costume]] didn't hurt.

'''Panther:''' I teleported the Sentry out of the ship and into the sun. Thank you for distracting it while I learned the ship's systems.\\

* Wasp CherryTapping Graviton after the giant battle.

** A lady walking her dog walks right past the Hulk. There is no reaction from her whatsoever. She ''looked'' at him and there was no pause and her pace.

** Before that the A.I.M. Mook's horror when the other two reveal that they returned to base.

* Hulk referring to [[ArcherArchetype Hawkeye]] as "Cupid."
--> '''Hawkeye''': You wanna go, Jade Jaws? Right here and now! Let's do this!\\

* Hawkeye and the Hulk hold off Kang's forces on a bridge. Hawkeye brags that he's taken down more enemies than the Hulk and Thor, then they are interrupted by another army of robots.

* When the Hulk leaps to help Giant-Man and promptly gets sideswiped by a flying drone.

** The sheer fact that ''[[DumbMuscle The Hulk]]'' was the only one who got there on time.

* Wasp and Thor's entire battle with M.O.D.O.C.. As dangerous as he is, he ends up being nothing but their ButtMonkey.

* Ant-Man insisting to Hulk and Hawkeye that Ultron is ''not'' creepy because he designed Ultron to resemble an ant's head.

--> '''Hulk:'''[[DeadpanSnarker Hulk smash rock, Einstein.]]

--> '''Hulk:'''[[DeadpanSnarker "Hulk smash rock, Einstein."]]

--> '''Hulk:'''[[ DeadpanSnarker "Hulk smash rock, Einstein."]]

* "Hulk smash rock, Einstein!"

'''Steve''': Don't get used to it, solider. And please, call me Steve.

* When Tony argues with Thor about how magic can prove as equally dangerous as science. It's hilariously petty and childish, by both of them, while T'Challa's quietly figuring out the problem.

* After Jarvis welcomes Tony back, Thor explains Jarvis to Captain America:

** And afterwards, as Ant-Man congratulates Iron Man on his victory, we get a shot of Iron Man laying on top of a heap of vibranium, shaking uncontrollably.

--> '''.M.O.D.O.C.:''' Can't reach... Retreat! Retreat!

--> '''Tony''': I'm gonna go rebuild JARVIS for the hundredth time.\\
'''Hulk''': No. Need you here. SHIELD called. ''(nonchalantly keeps eating)''\\

* Carol boasts that if Clint were still a SHIELD member, she'd outrank him. He responds by creating a little bow and firing a toothpick at her, which she promptly vaporizes.

'''Henry Gyrich:''' Henry Gyrich, Director of S.W.O.R.D.\\

* When the Doombots connect via energy beams. Reed calls them [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar Daisy Chains.]] Then we cut to the rest of the Avengers and get this:

* Iron Man: "JARVIS, I think we have to put Doctor Doom on the Christmas card list."

* After running off as Peter Parker and coming back as Spiderman:
--> '''Spiderman''': *In impression of Christopher Nolan Batman voice* I'm Spiderman!\\

* At the end of the episode after Spider-Man and Captain America fight the Serpent Society, J. Jonah Jameson unsurprisingly blames it partly on Spider-Man, while Cap was reported as the hero. Spider-Man reading the paper with Captain America next to him, is mad. Captain America then repeats the Aesop that he said earlier in the episode. Spidey takes it to heart, saying that as his actions define who he is, he will web up JJJ's mouth. Captain standing there smiling simply says, "I'm okay with that."

* After Vision has awakened, he finds all of the Avengers are missing. He reactivates JARVIS and asks where they are.

'''JARVIS:''' Thor serves as Iron Man's bodyguard. Hawkeye oversees the Iron Men. And Captain America is behind you.\\

--> '''JARVIS:''' Warning. Sensors indicate multiple Iron Men are guarding the satellite.\\

'''JARVIS:''' Warning. Long-range sensors indicate that Thor is in pursuit.\\

'''JARVIS''': Hello, Spider-Man.\\

* The interactions between Yellowjacket and Abigail Brand, especially when trying to take out the bomb that the Kree planted on the SHIELD ship.

--> '''Yellowjacket:''' What's he gonna do, eat us more?

* Three Words from "Hulk vs The World", "Tick, Tick, Boom!"

* In the micro-episode, "Nick Fury: Agent of SHIELD", after Grim Reaper knocks Nick Fury off of the flying car they were on:

** As well as Antman's [[GivingSomeoneThePointerFinger Poke of Death]] to Whirlwind.

--> '''Graviton:''' I'm stronger than all of you! [[TemptingFate I am the strongest one there is]]!\\

* Wasp and The Hulk have a "little sister/grumpy big brother" thing going, especially when she's making faces at him.

'''Ant Man''': We're all right here.\\

* Wasp and Thor's entire battle with MODOC. As dangerous as he is, he ends up being nothing but their ButtMonkey.
** Before that the AIM Mook's horror when the other two reveal that they returned to base.
---> '''AIM Mook:''' The Avengers were chasing you, and you came ''here?!''\\

* After MODOC sees the transformation of Wonder Man was successful.
--> '''MODOC:''' Amazing! I have created a being of pure ionic energy! I am science! I am a genius! \\

* The best part is Thor first spotting MODOC, where he drops his usual Shakespearean speech pattern and just goes, "...That is a ''very'' big head." After a minute or so of MODOC bantering back, Thor is still sort of stuck on it and continues with "Like a Frost Giant's head on an infant's body."

* When the machine being used to create Wonder Man dramatically overloads and explodes due to their battle, Wasp uses it as yet another opportunity to troll MODOC:

* Thor using Wasp's terminology and calling the AIM agents "Geeks".
* Also, when Giant Man takes a moment to geek out over expanding ionic energy before getting hit by Wonder Man. His expression is priceless.

* When the Hulk leaps to help Giant Man and promptly gets sideswiped by a flying drone.

* From the beginning of the episode, the tiny-armed MODOC straining to remove one of Hawkeye's arrows from his head.
--> '''MODOC:''' Can't reach... Retreat! Retreat!

* Which gets a CallBack when Hawkeye asks a similar question and Mockingbird retorts:
--> Well, the costume didn't hurt.
* After Iron Man scolds Cap and Panther for helping Hawkeye disobey SHIELD:

* The look on MODOC's face when the Cosmic Cube is almost fully uploaded.

* After Ant-Man watches Hawkeye admit to Black Widow that he has grown to understand and accept her reasons for framing him of betraying SHIELD, and Widow assure Hawkeye that she didn't enjoy betraying him, he comments, "And I thought Jan and I had issues."

* After the Avengers take down the Ultron-controlled Iron Man armors and learn about the attack on the helicarrier, Hawkeye tells Iron Man that he and Black Panther can finish up at the mansion while the others go to the helicarrier. After the other Avengers leave, cue all of the suits of armor powering back up and surrounding Hawkeye and Panther.

* While the Avengers and Maria Hill are battling Ultron aboard the helicarrier, Wasp points out that Hank didn't design Ultron with built-on guns, to which the robot responds that his model was modified by Tony Stark. Maria Hill glares at Tony and Hawkeye quips to Ultron:

** Even better, he guesses he's Paste-Pot Pete or the Hypno Hustler, two of the most ridiculously named villains Marvel's ever published.

* At the end, after Blank Panther declares he wishes to join the Avengers, Iron Man isn't exactly happy about it. But when Wasp points out that he might be the Avengers best chance for a ride home...

--> '''Hawkeye''': I'll take 'em all, you just get some rest, big guy.\\
[[CombiningMecha Robots then Combine]] into a mecha so big that it dwarfs Giant Man. Followed by an OhCrap face from Hawkeye and Hulk.\\

* The best part is Thor first spotting MODOC, where he drops his usual Shakespearean speech pattern and just goes "That... is a ''very'' big head." After a minute or so of MODOC bantering back, Thor is still sort of stuck on it and continues with "Like a Frost Giant's head on an infant's body."

'''Wolverine''': I'm pretty sure he was talkin' to you.\\

-->'''Grim Reaper:''' "Hahaha! That's it, run! Run-" ''(looks up and sees the bomb that Fury planted on his scythe counting down to 3 seconds)'' "...[[OhCrap oh]]."

--> '''Jane''': "Hey, have you been following me?"
--> '''Thor''': (''sheepishly'') "... Perhaps?"

--> '''Graviton:''' I'm stronger than all of you! [[TemptingFate I am the strongest one there is]]!
--> '''Hulk:''' *[[BigDamnHeroes lands on a building next to him]]* [[PreAsskickingOneLiner You sure about that]]?

--> '''Thor:''' I did not realize there were ogres on Midgard.

-->'''Wasp:''' Well, that was easy.
-->'''Thor:''' Verily. He bringeth shame to all monkeys with his cowardice.

-->'''Iron Man''': Avengers, Assemble!
-->'''Ant Man''': We're all right here.
-->'''Iron Man''': ...

-->'''Wasp''': Huh? [=WhadImiss?=]

-->'''Thor''': Mortal technology... you would do well to trust your eyes and ears.
-->'''Iron Man''': I'm picking something up on my scanner. It's faint, but it's definitely a life form. [[SarcasmMode That's so weird though, since I didn't see or hear anything.]]
* Iron Man and Cap, in their respective civie identities of Tony Stark and Steve Rogers, share this exchange after defeating Armin Zola's Doughboy:
-->'''Tony''': Bio-engineered monsters. Freaky ooze creatures. Is that what it was like fighting evil the '40s?
-->'''Steve''': [[SarcasmMode No, sometimes it got strange]].
-->'''Tony''': Did you just make a joke? Captain America has a sense of humor.
-->'''Steve''': Don't get used to it, solider. And please, call me Steve.

-->'''Wasp''': This is the coolest thing I've ever done! ''I'm driving a jet''!
-->'''Iron Man''': ''[Over the radio]'' It's actually on auto-pilot, Wasp. Sorry.

-->'''Thor:''' [[FlatJoy Victory... is ours.]]
-->'''Wasp:''' [[DeadpanSnarker Hooray.]]

-->'''Thor:''' The building has it's own voice. ''({{beat}})'' It's very disconcerting.

-->'''AIM Mook:''' The Avengers were chasing you, and you came ''here?!''\\

-->'''MODOC:''' Amazing! I have created a being of pure ionic energy! I am science! I am a genius!
-->''[Mjolnir smacks him in the face and drives him through a wall]''

** It's even funnier because his psuedo-English accent disappears too.

-->'''Wasp:''' "I think you broke it."

-->'''Ant-Man:''' The Vibranium should contain the sound from Klaw's sonic emitter. There's just a small chance that the vibrational shockwave could case destructive inference and then explode.
-->''(pause)''
-->'''Iron Man:''' I heard "destructive" and "explode."
* Ant-Man's last ditch plan to stop Klaw's OneWingedAngel form of living sound is to have Iron Man strap on some AppliedPhlebotinum and fly directly into him. Iron Man's ThisIsGonnaSuck reaction (and Hank only making a half-assed attempt to claim it won't) make the whole thing a very fun joke at his expense.
-->'''Ant-Man:''' It might... [[{{Understatement}} tingle. A lot.]]
-->'''Iron Man:''' [[DeadpanSnarker Great...]]

-->'''Iron Man:''' This is less like tingling and more like ''horrible pain!''

-->'''Iron Man:''' Great, now make me stop vibrating!

-->'''Wasp:''' So, does anyone have a plan? Mine is ear-plugs, but it's kind of short term...

* Hawkeye telling the Hulk that he'd better do what he says, or else he'll take him out on his own. Also counts as a SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome since making Hulk laugh at that statement is how he makes Hulk turn back into Banner.

-->'''Leader''': ''(With his head more freakish than normal)'' "It would have been glorious. I was creating the perfect world all in my image."
-->'''Hulk''': "[[DeadpanSnarker That's the problem; you're ugly]]."

-->'''Captain America:''' (about Doc Samson) Why does that man have green hair?
-->'''Iron Man:''' I have no idea.

-->'''Thor''': This card is troubling. Iron Man's technology is constantly making noises at me.

-->'''Hawkeye''': ''(being crushed by Abomination)'' Please... I'm begging you... brush your teeth.
-->'''Hawkeye''': ''(When Black Panther says he would [[FaceDeathWithDignity meet death with dignity]])'' I'll meet mine with kicking and screaming.
-->'''Hawkeye''': ''(after defeating the Masters of Evil)'' You know, I'm not so sure I wanna be part of a team I have to rescue [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall every week]].

-->'''Hulk''': ''(Talking about Captain Mar-vell)'' I don't like him.
-->'''Giant-Man''': You don't like anybody.

-->'''Hulk''': I bet I'll survive.
-->'''Thor''': [[SarcasmMode Your compassion is overwhelming, troll]].

-->'''Thor''': (To Iron Man) I would've woken before I hit ground. I did not need you to catch me.
-->'''Iron Man''': Of course you didn't.
-->'''Hulk''': Wimp!

-->'''Wasp''': Hulk, smash him.
-->'''Hulk''': Finally!

-->'''Wasp:''' Uh, guys? I think I'm sitting on the bomb.
* When Carol starts developing super powers:
-->'''Carol:''' (levitating) Guys, why is the ceiling so low?

-->'''Thor:''' You wish to end a life, villain? Then try ours!
-->'''Wasp:''' Yeah! Wait, what?

-->'''Blizzard:''' This isn't fair! None of you could have taken me alone!
-->'''Wasp:''' Man, you are a whiner! You've been complaining ever since we caught you, Blizzard. ''Which was really easy, by the way''.

--> '''Hawkeye''': I'll take 'em all, you just get some rest, big guy.
-->[[CombiningMecha Robots then Combine]] into a mecha so big that it dwarfs Giant Man. Followed by an OhCrap face from Hawkeye and Hulk.
--> '''Hulk''': Hmm. Maybe I will get some rest now. Good luck. (walks away)

--> '''Wasp:''' We could pretend to be Girl Scouts. Everyone opens the door for Girl Scouts.
--> '''Iron Man:''' You're not helping, Jan.

-->'''Iron Man:''' Let's go!
-->'''Wasp:''' ...You mean Hulk, right?!

-->'''Ant-Man:''' Okay, so what now?
-->'''Captain America:''' We take down Kang.
-->'''Ant-Man:''' [[SarcasmMode That's right, I forgot.]] Violence first.

-->'''Mockingbird:''' I've come a long way since the days of driving you around.
-->'''Hawkeye:''' That was like, three months ago.

-->'''MODOC:''' Can't reach... Retreat! Retreat!

-->'''Iron Man:''' I told Hawkeye to let it go! Maybe you remember that?
-->'''Captain America:''' It sounded more like a suggestion than an order.
-->'''Black Panther:''' Wakandan elders teach that the line between "revenge" and "avenge" is easily blurred.
-->'''Iron Man:''' ''(to Ant-Man)'' You see what I have to put up with?

-->'''Hulk:''' You left Hulk in the pool. '''''IT FROZE!'''''
-->'''Wasp''': Oh yeah... heh. We forgot you were in there.

-->'''Tony:''' You always complain about [[ScienceIsBad technology and science creating monsters]], and now some magic box from Imaginationland has frozen the planet!
-->'''Thor:''' Do you ''really'' wish to take this path? How many times have we faced danger created in a lab?
-->'''Tony:''' I don't know, but I remember your little blond Enchantress taking down the whole team ''twice''. And who was the guy with the axe, another Asgardian? Oh, right, he was gonna chop off my head.
-->'''Thor:''' Amora and Skurge will be dealt with!
-->'''Tony:''' Oh, so you're on a first name basis with them! Nice. You should form your own team, the Crazy Magic People.

-->'''Tony:''' I'm starting to think Wasp and Hawkeye are the smart ones.\\

* While Thor, Iron Man, and Panther deal with Maleketh, the rest of the team is slowly being whittled down by the ice monsters until Wasp is the last one left. Then after Maleketh is defeated and every wakes up:
-->'''Hawkeye:''' What happened?
-->'''Wasp:''' [[BlatantLies I beat everybody and you guys totally missed it.]]

-->'''Wasp''': I bet she really thought you'd eat her.
-->'''Hulk''': I would.
-->'''Wasp''': ''(laughs before turning around nervously)''

-->'''Hulk:''' I say we let 'em fight, enjoy the show.
-->'''Pym:''' There's nothing to enjoy about fighting.
-->'''Hulk:''' You're doing it wrong, then.

-->'''Hulk:''' See? Fighting ''is'' fun!

-->'''Hawkeye:''' Don't panic everyone, I'm here to save the world. ''Again''.

-->''([[RunningGag Hulk busts down the door]] and tosses the unconscious villains into the room)''
-->'''Hulk:''' Called themselves the Super-Apes. Didn't seem so super to me.
-->'''Iron Man:''' Why would you do that? The doors open automatically!
-->'''Thor:''' Well done, Hulk. 'Tis surprising how many monkeys we face in battle.

-->'''Black Panther:''' The mansion's systems have been compromised.
-->'''Hawkeye:''' No kidding.

-->'''Black Panther:''' ''(stares at Hawkeye)''
-->'''Hawkeye:''' Yeah, I know. I'm dumb.

-->'''Hawkeye:''' That's just perfect. What did Hulk contribute; your bad attitude?

-->'''Hawkeye''': Can anyone tell me how to stop this... whatever it is? There's an elf giving me a dirty look.
-->'''Elf''': >:|

-->'''Chemistro:''' How could you not remember who I am? ''You punched me in the face''!
-->'''Hawkeye:''' [[ButForMeItWasTuesday That doesn't really narrow it down, pal]].

-->'''"Hulk is strongest there is!!"'''

-->'''Sue:''' Hi, Tony. Reed's in his lab. He's expecting you.
-->'''Tony:''' What? [[{{Workaholic}} Mr. Fantastic]] in his lab, ignoring you? [[SarcasmMode Shocker.]] Why are you still hanging around with that guy, when you could be with me?
-->''(Jan elbows Tony)''
-->'''Tony:'''Uh, you know, as the Invisible Woman. Joining the Avengers.

-->'''Hawkeye:''' Daisy what?

-->'''Tony:''' Pepper, throw your shoes at me!
* Although you could see it coming from a mile away from the recap, when Tony asks who his 7'o clock appointment is, it cuts to a very impatient Maria Hill remarking, "You're late."

-->'''Scientist Supreme:''' Do you know who I am?
-->'''Pepper:''' *smirks* An angry beekeeper?

-->'''Tony''': So I'm guessing dinner is out of the question.

-->'''Hulk:''' We should just smash 'em!
-->'''Hawkeye:''' Really? How long did it take you to come up with that plan, genius?
-->'''Hulk:''' I can smash you too!

-->'''Tony''': I'm gonna go rebuild JARVIS for the hundredth time.\\

-->'''Brand''': Access computer.
-->''(Nothing Happens)''
-->'''Brand''': Access please?
-->''(Nothing Happens)''
-->'''Brand''': ''(Unholsters pistol)'' Access right now or I will shoot you in your stupid A.I. face!
-->''(Agent Danvers and Gyrich show up)''
-->'''Danvers''': Uh commander, this is Henry Gyrich, our liaison.
-->'''Brand''': Not now, I have a computer to shoot.

-->'''Luke Cage:''' Man, knock that off. And I told you never to call me, "Power Man," Danny!

-->'''Luke Cage:''' [[SarcasmMode Yeah, we're the Avengers. I'm Captain America and my friend in the pajamas is Thor.]] Now let the girl go before we avenge you upside the head.

-->'''Luke Cage:''' It's called unbreakable skin, ''fool''. *punch*

-->'''Iron Man:''' I have shields too, lady. Your sword isn't going to do much.
-->'''Quasar''' *Uses her quantum bands to completely surround Iron Man with weapon constructs*
-->'''Iron Man''': (completely deadpan) Okay, those might do something.

-->'''Clint''': Wow, you're really bad at this.
-->'''Tony''': Well, I'm really good at "you just got fired" speeches, Hawkeye, if you catch my drift.

-->'''Janet''': I'm just happy there's finally another girl on the team.
-->'''Tony and Clint''': Hear, hear!

-->'''Hulk:''' [[SarcasmMode You talk too much]].

** FridgeBrilliance kicks in, when you realize the Cap in this scene is actually a skrull impostor. For all we know, he could be referring to his own training, in a bit of SincerityMode.

-->'''Tony:''' ...Is anyone here a shape-shifting alien?

-->'''Fury:''' This is a man that kept his identity secret for all of five minutes. Can't say I'm surprised.

-->'''Hawkeye:''' You're not an Avenger, the Hulk is. Calling you an Avenger is like saying my bow is a member of the team.

-->'''Henry Gyrich:''' Captain, if we need to sacrifice the others to get me on that shuttle, I give you full authorization to do so.
-->'''Dr. Lyle Getz:''' Who are you?
-->'''Henry Gyrich:''' Henry Gyrich, Director of S.W.O.R.D.
-->'''King Cobra:''' What's S.W.O.R.D.?
-->'''Henry Gyrich:''' We're the agency responsible for dealing with alien threats.
-->'''Dr. Lyle Getz:''' Well, I hope they fire you.

-->'''Captain America:''' Go! Get to the ship!
-->''(Cobra turns and runs away to the ship)''
-->'''Mockingbird:''' Come on, let's... go? ''(sees Cobra running away)'' Psh.. supervillains...

-->'''Cobra:''' What are you waiting for? Go!
-->'''Mockingbird:''' ''(knocks him out)'' We're waiting for Cap and Viper, jerk!

-->'''Captain America:''' Go! Do it!
-->'''Henry Gyrich:''' Hit the thrusters or something!
-->''(Clay [[ButtonMashing responds by smashing the console with both fists]]. The plane dematerializes and materializes far away.)''
-->'''Clay Quartermain:''' ...Okay, then.
-->''(Clay looks up to see Viper, Mockingbird, and Gyrich glaring at him, while Cap is grinning)''

-->Hi, Cap. I'm gonna sleep now.

-->'''Wasp:''' That felt kinda good!

-->I've had the same car since I was nineteen years old and never had a problem, yet this thing falls out of the sky every other Thursday.

-->'''Iron Man:''' That one. Thanks.

-->'''Spiderman''': *In impression of Christopher Nolan Batman voice* I'm Spiderman!
-->'''Clay Quartermain''': What's wrong with your voice?

-->'''Spider-Man:''' [[SarcasmMode Whoops. Sorry about that]]. Hey, at least now you're more snake-like.

* At the end of the episode after Spider-Man and Captain America fight the Serpent Society, J. Jonah Jameson unsurprisingly blames it partly on Spider-Man, while Cap was reported as the hero. Spider-Man reading the paper with Captain America next to him, is mad. Captain America then repeats the aesop that he said ealier in the episode. Spidey takes it to heart, saying that as his actions define who he is, he will web up JJJ's mouth. Captain standing there smiling simply says, "I'm okay with that."

-->'''Hawkeye:''' Okay, okay! You can be King of Wakanda!

-->'''Thor:''' Only the lowest of mortals would attempt such an assault in broad daylight.
-->'''Iron Man:''' Well, that's the Wrecking Crew for ya; not exactly stand-outs in the thinking department. But they do pretty well in the "I'm about to take a repulsor blast to the face" department.

-->'''Cap:''' We have to keep moving, we can't risk placing civilians in jeopardy.
-->'''Hawkeye:''' Plus, they probably have a better shot at taking down the baddies than you guys do at this point.
-->''(All three glare at him)''
-->'''Hawkeye:''' Okay... Senses of humor, also gone.

-->'''Bulldozer:''' Ha! Ya missed!
-->''(the arrow explodes in a gas cloud, choking Bulldozer)''
-->'''Hawkeye:''' Psh, like I ever miss!

-->'''Hawkeye:''' ''(throws a brick at the back of the empty Destroyer's head, knocking it over)'' I don't know what you guys would do without me.

-->'''Wasp:''' It's off to prison again! You must be so psyched!
-->'''Whirlwind:''' *annoyed grunt*
-->'''Wasp:''' And not just any prison. You've got your own cell waiting for you in 42.
-->'''Ms. Marvel:''' Jan, do you think it's necessary to tease the prisoner like that?
-->'''Wasp:''' Yeah, pretty much. Especially when it's Dave; we go way back.

-->'''Hawkeye:''' Okay, just to get this outta the way... I'm me.

-->'''Hawkeye (to Ms. Marvel):''' ''(grins)'' Nothing personal!
-->'''Ms. Marvel:''' ''(annoyed glare)''

-->'''Thor (flying in towards Ultron, Mjolnir raised):''' Ultron!
-->''(Thor smashes Ultron's head off his shoulders)''
-->'''Hawkeye:''' Nice shot.
-->'''Thor:''' It was indeed satisfying.

-->''(Hawkeye is watching TV)''
-->'''Black Panther:''' You Westerners and your obsession with television. Wouldn't you be better served tracking down Dr. Pym's assailant?
-->'''Hawkeye:''' Hey, you do research your way, I do it mine. Check it.
-->''(News bulletin about Yellowjacket comes on)''
-->'''News Announcer:''' And what do the Avengers have to say?
-->'''Hawkeye on news interview:''' No comment. Hey, get that camera out of my face!
-->'''Hawkeye (to Panther):''' *sigh* When it's good news, Tony always gets interviewed looking like a movie star. When it's bad news, ambush me. Never fails.

-->'''Yellowjacket:''' [[TechnoBabble If we can relay my bio-signature from Panther's scan into your chest reactor, it'll explode like a wave-motion field and transpose us out of here]].
-->'''Hawkeye:''' [[SarcasmMode Yeah, sure, why didn't I think of that?]]

-->'''Yellowjacket (during a chase sequence with Thor):''' Getting mad and throwing lightning bolts. A real tough strategy to crack.
-->''(Yellowjacket flies inside a building)''
-->'''Yellowjacket:''' Next, he'll probably brag about his hammer.
-->''(Thor crashes in, pointing his hammer at Yellowjacket)''
-->'''Thor:''' Taste the wrath of Mjolnir!
-->''(Yellowjacket simply gives a PsychoticSmirk)''

-->'''Wasp''': (to Iron Man) If you say I should sit this one out, I'll zap you in your ''stupid metal face''!
-->'''Iron Man:''' *{{beat}}* Actually, I was going to suggest you hit him with everything you've got.
-->'''Wasp:''' ....oh.

-->'''Vision:''' Who is in New York?
-->'''JARVIS:''' Thor serves as Iron Man's bodyguard. Hawkeye oversees the Iron Men. And Captain America is behind you.
--> ''(Cap attacks)''
* After quickly disposing of an army of Iron Man armors, Hawkeye gives Vision a lesson in genre savvyness.
-->'''Vision:''' That was of minimal difficulty.
-->'''Hawkeye:''' Did you just say this was easy? You never say it was easy, ''ever''!
-->'''Vision:''' Why?
-->''(A brainwashed Thor appears)''
-->'''Thor:''' Your end has come, betrayers!
-->'''Hawkeye:''' That's why.

-->'''JARVIS:''' Warning. Sensors indicate multiple Iron Men are guarding the satellite.
-->'''Hawkeye:''' That's bad.
-->'''JARVIS:''' Warning. Long-range sensors indicate that Thor is in pursuit.
-->'''Hawkeye:''' That's worse.

--> '''Holo Iron Man''': The world is depending on you. So go save it.
--> '''Wolverine''': I'm pretty sure he was talkin' to you.
--> '''Spidey''': Well, what am I supposed to do? I have no idea what's going on!
--> '''JARVIS''': Hello, Spider-Man.
--> '''Spidey''': Gaaaaah!

-->'''Wolverine:''' Don't push it, web-head.

-->'''Iron Fist:''' [[TechnicalPacifist I told them that I didn't want to fight]].
-->'''Luke Cage:''' [[BloodKnight You've got some serious problems, man]].

* Luke Cage deciding to help Iron Fist save everyone on the grounds that they send the Avengers the bill for his heroics since the temporal distortions are something they should be handling. Becomes a brick joke when Iron Man points out that Luke sent him a bill at the end of the episode.

-->'''Thing:''' *awkward pause* That coulda been better.

-->'''Iron Man:''' ''(turns to Cap and Thor)'' Are we sure about this?

-->'''Yellowjacket (completely deadpan):''' Yeah, I've got nothin'. It's going to explode. You've got about twenty-five seconds.
-->'''Agent Brand:''' I can't evacuate two million people; there's not enough time. You have to do something!
-->'''Yellowjacket:''' It's going to detonate, I can't stop it. ''(looks at bomb)'' Ten seconds.
-->'''Agent Brand:''' ''(stares at him in shock and despair)'' Pym...
-->'''Yellowjacket:''' My name is Yellowjacket. ''(shoots the bomb with his Pym-disc gun and it shrinks into nothing)'' Two seconds.
-->'''Agent Brand:''' I don't- Wha... what did you do?!
-->'''Yellowjacket:''' I sent it to the microverse. It just wiped out a few molecules.
-->'''Agent Brand:''' Why didn't you do that in the first place, why'd you wait?!
-->'''Yellowjacket:''' ''(grins)'' I just wanted to see the look on your face.
-->'''Agent Brand:''' *{{beat}}* *DeathGlare* *punch*

-->'''Hawkeye:''' What was that?!
-->'''Panther:''' I teleported the Sentry out of the ship and into the sun. Thank you for distracting it while I learned the ship's systems.
-->'''Hawkeye:''' ''(holds his aching back)'' I seriously hate you.

-->'''Thor:''' Verily, for as much as I enjoy your company, friends, five-weeks journey through subspace is a very long time. Especially when forced to endure Hawkeye's complaints.
-->'''Hawkeye:''' Hey!

-->'''Yellowjacket:''' What's he gonna do, eat us more?

-->'''Human Torch:''' Why did I have to be on the water team? I hate water!

-->'''Spidey:''' 'Scuse me, but you've got a little something on your face!
-->''(shoots webbing into Terrax's face)''
-->'''Spidey:''' Although frankly, it's an improvement!

-->'''Iron Man:''' Why would you do that? The doors open automatically!

-->'''Tony:''' Oh, look. Me with a robot face. Still handsome.

-->'''Captain America:''' He's already caused too much trouble here. And as much as the Gargoyle wanted to be immortal, he's just a man.
-->'''Iron Man:''' A man who loves crepes.
-->'''Grey Gargoyle:''' [[SarcasmMode Very funny, Stark.]] ''(softly)'' [[SincerityMode I do love crepes.]]

-->'''Panther:''' ''(paraphrased)'' The origins of the golden frogs are shrouded in mystery...They were given to [[Literature/TheBible King Solomon]] over 3000 years ago as a gift...The frogs were stolen by Literature/{{Aladdin}} himself, and are even said to be responsible for the Loch Ness Monster in Scotland.
-->'''Hawkeye:''' ENOUGH! Look, Panther...if you don't know what these things are, just say so. You don't have to make things up.

-->'''Iron Man:''' ...Aaaaaaand you're fired.

--->''(shoots webbing into Terrax's face)''

-->His reaction to accidentally tasting a "poisonous" Wakandan skin cream. (As well as Black Panther's smirk afterwards.)

-->'''Tony''': "So I'm guessing dinner is out of the question"

-->'''Brand''': Access Please?

--> '''Luke Cage:''' "Yo, Pym! Where do we send the bill?"

* :As the ragtag group of prisoners attempt to escape the Skrulls that imprison them, we get this gem:

-->"I've had the same car since I was nineteen years old and never had a problem, yet this thing falls out of the sky every other Thursday."

--->'''News Announcer:''' And what do the Avengers have to say?
--->'''Hawkeye on news interview:''' No comment. Hey, get that camera out of my face!

--->'''Vision:''' Who is in New York?
--->'''JARVIS:''' Thor serves as Iron Man's bodyguard. Hawkeye oversees the Iron Men. And Captain America is behind you.
---> ''(Cap attacks)''

--->'''Vision:''' That was of minimal difficulty.
--->'''Hawkeye:''' Did you just say this was easy? You never say it was easy, ''ever''!
--->'''Vision:''' Why?
--->''(A brainwashed Thor appears)''
--->'''Thor:''' Your end has come, betrayers!
--->'''Hawkeye:''' That's why.

--->'''JARVIS:''' Warning. Sensors indicate multiple Iron Men are guarding the satellite.
--->'''Hawkeye:''' That's bad.
--->'''JARVIS:''' Warning. Long-range sensors indicate that Thor is in pursuit.
--->'''Hawkeye:''' That's worse.

---> '''Holo Iron Man''': The world is depending on you. So go save it.
---> '''Wolverine''': I'm pretty sure he was talkin' to you.
---> '''Spidey''': Well, what am I supposed to do? I have no idea what's going on!
---> '''JARVIS''': Hello, Spider-Man.
---> '''Spidey''': Gaaaaah!

-->'''Wasp:''' "Uh, guys? I think I'm sitting on the bomb."