History Funny / FawltyTowers

-->'''Mr Wareing:''' ''A gin and orange, a lemon squash, and a scotch and water, PLEASE!!!''

** Mrs. Richards hits her head, and Basil proceeds to pick up a random dust speck and asks, "Is this a piece of your brain?" (That joke wouldn't have made it in were it not for the efforts of Andrew "Manuel" Sachs.)

--> '''Manuel [Andrew Sachs]''': Is pigeon!

* After getting a good look at one of Polly's risque drawings (and cleavage), Basil picks up the phone and absent-mindedly says "Fawlty Titties".

** She proceeds to storm outside and find Basil trying to put the ladder back up before giving him an ArmorPiercingSlap that knocks him straight back down.

* When trying to get Manuel to understand that he’s looking for the boss, the builder uses the term [[GratuitousSpanish General]][[UsefulNotes/FranciscoFranco issimo]]. Manuel replies [[CrossesTheLineTwice “In Madrid.”]]

--->'''Basil:''' No capacity for logical thought.

* The fire drill. While suffering from a severe case of FunnyAneurysmMoment after the real-life hotel burned to the ground, the scene is still one of the best scenes in the series. It starts with Basil setting off the burglar alarm while getting the key to the fire alarm, thus forcing everyone to believe the drill has begun; this leads to a debate over the time the drill is supposed to be and what the bell sounds like. Then Manuel starts a fire in the kitchen, and everybody else, including Basil, assumes it's only the drill, even after Basil sees a smouldering Manuel emerge from the kitchen.

--->'''Polly:''' [[VerbalBackSpace ...It ''is'' my fault]].

* "YOU PUT BASIL IN THE ''RATATOUILLE!?!''" Even better is Sybil's reaction, to simply assure the inspector that "He's from Barcelona..." Even better, this is the only time in the series that Sybil says the line. You can tell from the audience's reaction that they'd been waiting a while for it.

---> '''Basil''': Well, er, who`s for trifle?!

'''Polly''' It's up. ''[it falls on Basil`s head]'' It`s down again.

'''Sybil''': Why are you smiling, Mr. O'Reilly?\\

--> '''Mrs. Peignoir''': Ah, feel that breeze! I shall sleep ''au natural'' tonight.

* The [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78b67l_yxUc famous scene]] when Basil's [[MyCarHatesMe car breaks down]] and he starts screaming hysterically at it before running off-screen... only to return ''to hit it with a tree branch repeatedly''.

-->'''Basil:''' Well, I'll just get your hors d'oeuvres...[''German accent''] Hors d'oeuvres... [[JustFollowingOrders vich must be obeyed at all times vitout qvestion]]!

** When he receives the omlette for the second time, Manuel declares defensively "Is nice!"

--> '''O'Reilly''': If the Good Lord--

--> '''Manuel''': Ah... hamma sandwich!
--> '''Basil''': No, no a hammer!

--> '''Basil''': No! How can I knock a nail in with your hamster? Well I could try.

* Basil tries to give orders to Manuel:
--> '''Basil''': Go get me a hammer.
--> '''Manuel''': Ah... hamma sandwich!
--> '''Basil''': No, no a hammer!
--> '''Manuel''': My hamster?
--> '''Basil''': No! How can I knock a nail in with your hamster? Well I could try.

* Basil uses flash cards to direct Manuel to take suitcases to room 7... and Manuel promptly uses one to say "OK". Cleese looks honestly surprised, too.

--->'''Worker''' ''(After another informs that he means O'Reilly)'': Yes, that's right. We are Orraly men! ''(under his breath)'' Thick as a plank...

-->'''Basil:''' Oh, I see, it's my fault, is it? Oh, of course. There I was thinking it was your fault because you'd been left in charge, or Manuel's for not waking you, and all the time, it was my fault! Oh, it so obvious now, I've seen the light! Well, I must be punished then, mustn't I? ''(Basil starts smacking his own backside)'' You're a naughty boy, Basil! ''(Basil starts hitting his head)'' Don't do it again!

** That whole scene is just gold, Manuel trying to greet them, and keeps pronouncing the name wrong -- "You men with Orraly!"

-->'''Basil:''' Electric razor, huh?

-->'''Basil:''' Well, that's what I was referring to when I said it was disgusting. It is, of course, dis''gus''ting that you haven't shaved, but understandable. I mean, sometimes I don't shave either, and that's dis''gus''ting, too. So I shall have a razor sent up to your room straightaway. Thank you so much, good night. ''(walks into the room behind the counter and {{Facepalm}}s)''

--> '''Basil:''' Her local finishing school was bombed.

--> '''Basil''': Well, there's air ''in'' it...

--> '''The Major:''' And the strange thing was... throughout the morning she kept referring to the Indians as niggers. No, no, ''no,'' I said. ''niggers'' are the West Indians. ''These'' people are '''WOGS!''' No, no, no she said, all cricketers are niggers!

* The fire drill -- while suffering from a severe case of FunnyAneurysmMoment after the real-life hotel burned to the ground -- is still one of the best scenes in the series. It starts with Basil setting off the burglar alarm while getting the key to the fire alarm, thus forcing everyone to believe the drill has begun; this leads to a debate over the time the drill is supposed to be and what the bell sounds like. Then Manuel starts a fire in the kitchen, and everybody else -- even Basil -- assumes it's only the drill, even after Basil sees a smoldering Manuel emerge from the kitchen.

'''Sybil:''' ''(serious)'' What.\\

'''Sybil:''' ''(TranquilFury)'' I see.

'''Basil:''' ''(extremely cheery)''' A room, please. Ummm, number twelve is free, I think. Now, I'd like breakfast in bed at half past ten in the morning, please -- that's eggs, bacon, sausage and tomato, with a Waldorf salad. I'll wash down with lashings of hot screwdriver... ''(fade out as episode ends)''

* As Basil and the guests are coming back downstairs, Sybil comes back in to get her golf clubs. After he realizes who just showed up, Basil pretends that she's a woman that he met at a fete (a lie he told earlier to explain away how one of the guests saw Sybil driving around), and escorts her into the kitchen, where he shuts her in a cabinet.

--->'''Basil:''' Not- not legal actually, anymore, murder.

--> '''Manuel''': My... hamster?

* "Got to shoot him Fawlty!" "Ah not- not legal anymore. Murder, actually."

--> '''Manuel''': ''[Out of character, realizing he's flubbed his line]'' No, it's not a pigeon; it's a hamster.
--> ''[Sachs grins sheepishly, and Cleese -- still in character -- stares dumbstruck into the camera after hearing "Manuel" properly speak a full sentence in English]''

-->'''Basil:''' Well, that's what I was referring to when I said it was disgusting. It is, of course, dis''gus''ting that you haven't shaved, but understandable. I mean, sometimes I don't shave either, and that's dis''gus''ting, too. So I shall have a razor sent up to your room straightaway. Thank you so much, good night.

-->'''Basil:''' [[BigShutUp Shut up!]]... I had enough of you, you rancorous, quaffered old sow! Syringe the donuts out of your ears and get some sense into the dormant organ you keep hidden in that rat's maze of yours!

--> '''Basil''': Well, er, who`s for trifle?!

* The {{running gag}} with the painting and Mr. Wareing who keeps trying to order his drinks coming together after the chaos is over. Fawlty, dejected that he's scared off his high class guests, finally tries to hang up Sybil's painting, only for Mr. Wareing to come in and loudly demand his drink. Basil snaps, smashes the picture on the floor, and frog-marches him back into the bar.

--> '''Basil''': He thinks '[[GettingCrapPastTheRadar boff]]' [[TooDumbToLive is a locale]].

'''Major''': Good God, I didn't know Canadians were as clever as that!\\

-->'''Basil:''' You were shooting a starling.
-->'''The Major:''' A starling.
-->'''Basil:''' Yes.
-->'''The Major:''' Through the window.
-->'''Basil:''' Right.
-->'''The Major:''' But, Fawlty, how did the starling get in the bar?
-->'''Basil:''' No, no, ''you'' were in the bar.
-->'''The Major:''' I was in the bar?
-->'''Basil:''' Yes!
-->'''The Major:''' So I was!
-->'''Basil:''' The starling was in the garden, and the rat was nowhere at all!
-->'''The Major:''' Well, I didn't see him.
-->'''Basil:''' ''(exasperated)'' [[Creator/GeorgeBurns Say goodnight to the folks, Gracie.]]

-->'''Basil:''' Do you need any help, Major?
-->'''Major:''' Don't move! Vermin.
-->'''Basil:''' ''(rolls his eyes)'' We haven't got any, this week, Major.
-->'''Major:''' Hmm?
-->'''Basil:''' [[CallBack No Germans staying this week]], Major. May I have that? ''(reaches for the gun)''
-->'''Major:''' Goin' to shoot him, Fawlty.
-->'''Basil:''' Yes, Major?
-->'''Major:''' Hmm?
-->'''Basil:''' Not- not legal actually, anymore, murder.
-->'''Major:''' But they're animals, Fawlty!
-->'''Basil:''' Oh, yes, yes. Still, forgive and forget, eh?
-->'''Major:''' Forgive 'em?
-->'''Basil:''' Well, pretend we do.

-->'''Carnegie:''' What was that?!
-->'''Basil:''' Bloody television exploding again!

** After Basil tears up the omelette, he puts it on the Major's table, [[FunnyBackgroundEvent who starts eating it]].