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-->'''Polly:'''He forgot to wake me!\\
-->'''Basil:''' Who forgot to wake you?!\\
-->'''Polly:''' ...It ''is'' my fault.\\

to:

-->'''Polly:'''He forgot to wake me!\\
me!
-->'''Basil:''' Who forgot to wake you?!\\
you?!
-->'''Polly:''' ...It ''is'' my fault.\\


->'''Polly:''' I fell asleep.
'''Basil:''' You fell asleep?
'''Polly:''' It's not my fault!
'''Basil:''' You fell asleep and it's not your fault?!
'''Polly:'''He forgot to wake me!\\
'''Basil:''' Who forgot to wake you?!\\
'''Polly:''' ...It ''is'' my fault.\\
'''Basil:''' MANUEL! I KNEW IT! MANUEL!

to:

->'''Polly:''' -->'''Polly:''' I fell asleep.
'''Basil:''' -->'''Basil:''' You fell asleep?
'''Polly:''' -->'''Polly:''' It's not my fault!
'''Basil:''' -->'''Basil:''' You fell asleep and it's not your fault?!
'''Polly:'''He -->'''Polly:'''He forgot to wake me!\\
'''Basil:''' -->'''Basil:''' Who forgot to wake you?!\\
'''Polly:''' ...-->'''Polly:''' ...It ''is'' my fault.\\
'''Basil:''' -->'''Basil:''' MANUEL! I KNEW IT! MANUEL!


-->'''Polly:''' It's not my fault! He forgot to wake me!\\

to:

-->'''Polly:''' ->'''Polly:''' I fell asleep.
'''Basil:''' You fell asleep?
'''Polly:'''
It's not my fault! He fault!
'''Basil:''' You fell asleep and it's not your fault?!
'''Polly:'''He
forgot to wake me!\\



'''Basil:''' MANUEL!

to:

'''Basil:''' MANUEL! I KNEW IT! MANUEL!



* "I'll call O'Reilly, you go and see if the roof's still on." [...] ''(to O'Reilly)'' "Oh, up to your usual standard I suppose, the odd hole in the floor, the odd door missing but nothing you can't be sued for!"

to:

* "I'll call O'Reilly, you go and see if the roof's still on." [...] ''(to O'Reilly)'' "Oh, up to your usual standard I suppose, the odd hole a few holes in the floor, the odd door missing but nothing you can't be sued for!"



--> '''Basil:''' Her finishing school was bombed.

to:

--> '''Basil:''' Her local finishing school was bombed.


Added DiffLines:

* Basil interrupts Polly kissing her gentleman friend and she awkwardly tries to introduce him.
-->'''Polly:''' Mr Fawlty, may I introduce Richard Turner. He's a friend of mine.
-->'''Basil:''' Oh you know each other, do you?...Please don't leave on my account, [[MaliciousMisnaming Mr Turnip]].


Added DiffLines:

* Mr Hutchinson is mistakenly sent an omelette at dinner three times. On the third time Basil steps in.
-->'''Basil:''' ''(picks up the omelette and pulls it in two)'' There. I've torn it up, you'll never see it again.
* Basil confronts Mr Hutchinson on learning he is a spoon merchant and not an inspector.
-->'''Basil:''' ''(quietly)'' Spoons, eh?
-->'''Mr Hutchinson:''' I beg your pardon?
-->'''Basil:''' ''(leans in)'' S-''(blows raspberry)''-oons!
** A confused Mr Hutchinson simply wipes the spittle off his face.


--> '''Mrs. Tibbs''': "You're awfully cheerful this morning!

to:

--> '''Mrs. Tibbs''': Gatsby''': "You're awfully cheerful this morning!


Added DiffLines:

--> '''Mrs. Gatsby''': ''(laughs)'' Oh, you are wicked!


'''Polly''' It`s up. ''[[it falls on Basil`s head]]'' It`s down again.

to:

'''Polly''' It`s up. ''[[it ''[it falls on Basil`s head]]'' head]'' It`s down again.


'''Polly''' It`s up. ''[[it falls on Basil`s head]] It`s down again.

to:

'''Polly''' It`s up. ''[[it falls on Basil`s head]] head]]'' It`s down again.


'''Basil:''' I wish it was this one. ''[Violently hammers the nail into the wall]'' There, tell the tyrant queen her cardies are safe forever. Mr Moose is up! It`s done, done, done.

to:

'''Basil:''' I wish it was this one. ''[Violently hammers the nail into the wall]'' There, tell the tyrant queen her cardies are safe forever. Mr Moose is up! It`s done, done, done.\\



to:

--> '''Basil''': Well, er, who`s for trifle?!



'''Polly:''' Yes, he says he's doing it now.\\
'''Basil:''' I wish it was this one. ''[Violently hammers the nail into the wall]''

to:

'''Polly:''' Yes, he says he's doing it now.\\
How`s the nail?\\
'''Basil:''' I wish it was this one. ''[Violently hammers the nail into the wall]''wall]'' There, tell the tyrant queen her cardies are safe forever. Mr Moose is up! It`s done, done, done.
'''Polly''' It`s up. ''[[it falls on Basil`s head]] It`s down again.



** When Basil finally manages to get the alarm working, then turned off, the phone rings. Basil quickly picks it back up, screams "YES WE'RE HAVING IT!" and slams the receiver down.

to:

** When Basil finally manages to get the alarm working, then turned off, the phone rings. Basil quickly picks it back up, screams "YES WE'RE "WE'RE HAVING IT!" and slams the receiver down.


--> '''Manuel''': Si, si, man with beard! *to the builders* Who is man with beard? *the builder with a beard walks over* Si...si... You are "hideous orangutang!" *PUNCH!!*

to:

--> '''Manuel''': Si, si, man with beard! *to the builders* Who is man with beard? *the builder with a beard walks over* Hid... Si...si... ag... Oh, ang, ang. Si, si comprando. Si, one moment please. *to the builder* You are a "hideous orangutang!" *PUNCH!!*

Added DiffLines:

* In one particularly daft attempt to prove that a guest has snuck a woman into his room, Basil attempts to peer in the window via a ladder to catch them, only to immediately find he's gone to the wrong window when he sees the titular psychiatrists getting ready for bed. Desperate to save face, he starts tapping the window as though testing the glass until he ''slowly'' topples backward and the ladder falls over.
** Manuel runs back into the hotel for help and right into Sybil. HilarityEnsues:
-->'''Manuel:''' Mrs. Fawlty! Mrs. Fawlty! Mrs. Fawlty! Mr. Fawlty!\\
'''Sybil:''' What?\\
'''Manuel:''' He hurt! He fall off ladder!\\
'''Sybil:''' ''(incredulous)'' Off ''a ladder''?\\
'''Manuel:''' Si, si, si, come come come come!\\
'''Sybil:''' What was he doing up a ladder?\\
'''Manuel:''' He try to see girl!\\
'''Sybil:''' ''(serious)'' What.\\
'''Manuel:''' [[NotWhatItLooksLike He try to see in room to see girl, she make him crazy!]]\\
'''Sybil:''' ''(TranquilFury)'' I see.
** She proceeds to storm outside and find Basil trying to put the ladder back up before giving him an ArmorPiercingSlap that knocks him straight back down.

Added DiffLines:

--> '''Sybil''': You think I'm joking, don't you? ''(O'Reilly smiles)''\\
'''Basil''': [[OhCrap Oh no, don't smile.]] ''(turns away, covering his face)''\\
'''Sybil''': Why are you smiling, Mr. O'Reilly?\\
'''O'Reilly''': Well, to be perfectly honest Mrs Fawlty, I like a woman with spirit.\\
'''Sybil''': Oh ''do'' you, is that what you like?\\
'''O'Reilly''': I do, I do!\\
'''Sybil''': Oh good. ''(hangs up her jacket and grabs an umbrella from the basket)''\\
'''Basil''': Now Sybil, that's enou- ''(Sybil bats him away with the umbrella, then sets about O'Reilly with it)''\\
'''Sybil''': Come on then, give us a smile!


* Basil [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TES2kgPF4Wk instructing Manuel]] over the phone to tell one of the builders: "You are a hideous orangutan."

to:

* Basil [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TES2kgPF4Wk instructing Manuel]] over the phone to tell insult one of the builders: "You builders as petty revenge for Manuel taking so long to get he's the one calling.
--> '''Manuel''': Si, si, man with beard! *to the builders* Who is man with beard? *the builder with a beard walks over* Si...si... You
are a hideous orangutan.""hideous orangutang!" *PUNCH!!*
--> '''Basil''': Thank you Manuel, that will be all.

Added DiffLines:

** Mrs. Richards first believes she doesn't have a bath in her room and still isn't happy when shown it:
-->'''Mrs. Richards:''' You call that a bath? It's not big enough to drown a mouse. It's disgraceful.\\
'''Basil Fawlty:''' ''(mutters)'' I wish you were a mouse, I'd show you...

Added DiffLines:

* Basil tries to expel the customers.
-->'''Basil:''' This is typical. Absolutely typical... of the kind of... ARSE I have to put up with from you people! You ponce in here, expecting to be handwaited on hand and foot while I'm trying to run a hotel here! Have you any idea of how much there is to do? Do you ever think of that? Of course not! You're all too busy sticking your noses into every corner, poking around for things to complain about, aren't you? Well, let me tell you something—this is exactly [[GodwinsLaw how Nazi-Germany started]]! A lot of layabouts with nothing better to do than to cause trouble! Well, I've had fifteen years of pandering to the likes of you, and I've had enough! I've had it! Come on, pack your bags and get out! [[CrossesTheLineTwice RAUS! RAUS! RAUS!]]


'''Basil:''' ''(extremely cheery)''' A room, please. Number twelve is free, I think. Now, I'd like breakfast in bed at half past ten in the morning -- that's eggs, bacon, sausage and tomato, with a Waldorf salad. I'll wash down with lashings of hot screwdriver... ''(fade out as episode ends)''

to:

'''Basil:''' ''(extremely cheery)''' A room, please. Number Ummm -- number twelve is free, I think. Now, I'd like breakfast in bed at half past ten in the morning morning, please -- that's eggs, bacon, sausage and tomato, with a Waldorf salad. I'll wash down with lashings of hot screwdriver... ''(fade out as episode ends)''

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