History Funny / AllisonPregler

* ''Vampegeddon'', another Z-grade vampire movie movie:

** During some sort of dream sequence, Lupa sarcastically goes on about how Giovanni (who LooksLikeOrlock with cheap Halloween drug store make-up) is oh-so-sexy.

* ''Blood Red Moon'':
** Her description of the movie is it is "what ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'' would look like if it was shot in Canada and the actors were paid in silly string and broken dreams".

-->"Unfortunately for Meagan, if [[Literature/{{Twilight}} Bella]] has the personality of a paper bag, in comparison she has the personality of the tree it was made from."

--> '''Alyssa:''' With most of the people in this town, if you're not a blood relative you're an outsider. And unfortunately, just about everyone's related.
--> '''Lupa:''' ''[[{{Squick}} Ewww!!]]''

** Pointing out the main villain looks like WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic with vampire make-up.
*** Also, the villain, Giovanni, is ''rumored'' to be a vampire. While wearing some incredibly obvious (and badly put on) make-up.
--->'''Lupa:''' Keep in mind, those were just rumors.
** [[Series/MightyMorphinPowerRangers The theme music of Bulk and Skull]] playing over the two bullies who harass the goth kids.

-->'''Liz:''' (brings out alcohol) Thanks to my parents, tonight's going to be very memorable.
-->'''Lupa:''' You know you're old enough to buy it yourself now, right?

-->'''Lupa:''' They are supposed to be in high school? I was joking earlier!

--> '''Lupa:''' By the way, I may be wrong but... I'm pretty sure "[[AtrociousAlias Sugar Cox]]" isn't that actress's real name.

--> '''Lupa:''' You know, it occurs to me that she probably wasn't hired for her acting talent.

--> '''Melissa:''' I thought we were close this time...
--> '''Lupa:''' Damn you, Anne Rice! Your fiction has fooled me again!

** During some sort of dream sequence, Lupa sarcastically says how Giovanni is oh-so-sexy.

--->'''Allison:'''What in the World ?! [...] You know of all the things i heard about Modelland,This never came up.This never came up...Why is that ? Why no one bring up the big music monster. The big music monster in the lake with THOUSAND OF SKULLS ?!'''
** Her doing an AsideGlance when [[Main/AuthorAvatar Tyra's adult stand-in, C~L]] admit she's kinda crazy.

--->'''Allison:'''What in the World ?! [...] You know of all the things i heard about Modelland,This never came up.This never came up...Why is that ? Why no one bring up the big music monster. The big music monster in the lake with THOUSAND OF SKULLS ?!'''

** After learning of the land of [[Main/LandDownUnder Didgeridoo]], she broke in laughther after reading out loud "The land of Didgeridoo" for a third time and summarize one of the many problems of the made-up terms of the book:

** Alison beginning to sing a song from the book [[ThisIsGonnaSuck before realizing that it continues for pages and pages.]]
** All the DoubleTake she does when she read a new name or made-up term , culminating with the character of "Bestosterone",where she need to stop for a moment after reading it.
** Alison almost lose it when she discover that Modelland [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer uses colours to tell time]].

** In the sequel, the lead character jumps from his magical treehouse and starts flying very awkwardly. Cue the ''Film/PumaMan'' theme.

* Her live reading of ''Literature/Modelland'' is full of gems.

--->'''Allison:'''What in the World ?! [...] You know of all the things i heard about Modelland,This never came up.This never came up...Why is that ? Why no one bring up the big music monster.the big music monster in the lake with THOUSAND OF SKULLS ?!'''

** Alison almost lose it when she discover that Modelland [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer uses colours to tell time]].

** All the DoubleTake she does when she read a new made-up term , culminating with the character of "Bestosterone", When she need to stop her reading for a bit.

----

--> '''Alyssa:''' With most of the people in this town, if you're not a blood relative you're an outsider. And unfortunately, [[IncestIsRelative just about everyone's related]].

** There's also the time Allison starts reading a ''Series/{{Quantum Leap}}'' novel... only to find out that [[http://allisonpregler.tumblr.com/post/119169737527/obscuruslupa-obscuruslupa-obscuruslupa the book's quality is somewhat questionable]]. And then things somehow get [[IncestIsRelative even]] [[http://allisonpregler.tumblr.com/post/119174200562/obscuruslupa-obscuruslupa-obscuruslupa weirder]].

* From ''Hard to Kill''

* From her review of "Gymkata:"
--> Movie character: They call him the stork.
--> Lupa: Because [[DeliveryStork he's where babies come from?]]

* In the Cinema Snob's Caligula outtakes: "Robo-cocks!"

* ''Shark Attack 3'':

* Trapping [[WebVideo/TheAngryJoeShow Angry Joe]] in footage of ''Gerry'' if nothing else for Joe's reaction.
* ''Blood Red Moon''

* ''Film/BuffyTheVampireSlayer'': "Oh, what charming rubes they are. I know ''I'' like guys who are constantly drunk."

* ''SleepyHollowHigh'': [[Franchise/ScoobyDoo "Zoinks, Scoob, it's the frog monster!"]]

** "Holy shit, that's the precher from ''Stakes''! ...You know, some people get to review multiple movies from great actors such as Creator/RobinWilliams or Fred Savage even. I get the guy from ''Stakes''."

* From her review of ''Rapid Fire'':

** "The punchline is [[ShockingSwerve a man dying in traffic]]. ... (throws up her arms) ''Robot in the Family'', everybody."

--->'''Allison''' {Panicked nosies} I'm losing my damn mind right now! In a series full of poor ideas "Dog funeral nightmare that turns into a sex dream" is the worst of them. Somebody ''wrote'' this! They acted this out!

* During a Charity Stream, Allison was playing ''Freddi Fish III: The Case Of The Stolen Conch Shell''. Before the credits, she sings about the culprit still going to jail after the Game, only for the game to pull a ''Series/LawAndOrder'' Style Epilogue. [[IWasJustJoking Allison's shocked reaction to this]] is what really sells this.

* Lupa's SuddenlyVoiced cat in Robo Vampire.

** "Okay. It's an American Ninja movie, so there are going to be montages. But that doesn't mean they have to be ''good'' ones." Cue fight scenes set to [[Disney/TheLittleMermaid "Kiss the Girl"]], [[Music/BritneySpears "Toxic"]], "Blue on Blue" by Bobby Vinton, Backstreet Boys, "How I Beat Shaq" by Aaron Carter, and finally, long fart noises.

* In her ''[[Disney/TheLittleMermaidIIReturnToTheSea Little Mermaid II]]'' review, pointing out an animation mistake in which a fleeing merman is grinning happily while fleeing the villain. "Look at this guy. Not a fuckin' care in the world."

** Lupa lampshades how such characters as [[Franchise/{{Pokemon}} Brock]], [[Disney/TheLittleMermaid Ariel]], and [[WesternAnimation/ThePowerpuffGirls Bubbles]] have names blatantly copied from cartoons she often watched back then.

** "''Ooooooh I wish you a turtle Christmas, I know Creator/JamesRolfe did this, it's still a piece of [[PainfulRhyme poop-as]], so shut the hell up!'' Yay Christmas!"

* In much the same satirical vein as the above, her review of ''Franchise/StarWars: Film/ANewHope'', a film so terrible that it "fell into rightful obscurity". Though she does praise its few good points, like the budding romance between [[BrotherSisterIncest Luke and Leia]], and how [[TheDogShotFirst Greedo shoots first]].

* Running gags from "Baywatching"
** Created by [[SelfDeprecation An Idiot]]
** Her whiny voice for Eddie
** Mitch's obession with Burgers.
** Mitch's Dog Hatred.
** Calling the second Actor for Hobie "Hobie 2"
** Calling Mitch's mentor "Lifeguard One Day From Retirement"
** MY SAVE!
** Her dopey voice for Mitch.
* More Baywatching fun
** "I'm a sex symbol!"
** First, a recap of season one. (Cue image of Mitch eating some photoshopped-in cheeseburgers while Alison makes omnomnom noises)
** Allison likening Eddie and Harvey to walking mummy's curses.
** Her joy at Pamela Anderson's introduction: Playing a Sax by the riverside for no real reason.
*** From the same episode: She loves the fact that Mitch Bucannon has a old timey prospecting uncle.
** Her reaction to Eddie being around still in season 2. "Thank god the little pantswetter is around for another season. My otherwise horrible material is saved!'
** Calling the surfing villains of one episode ''Film/SurfNinjas''.
*** Mocking said Surf Ninjas' idiotic plot to block off people from their beach with barbed wire.
** Allison occasionally pulls out weird ways of emphasizing or saying words even without using funny voices. An early favorite, from Message in a Bottle:
-->"Newmie still has a great ''package''."
** The climax of "Coronado De Soul" being quietly underscored with the ''Franchise/{{Ghostbusters}}'' theme.
** For "The Chamber", which is a ClipShow, she forgoes talking about the recycled clips in favor of a montage of [[ButtMonkey Eddie]] suffering AmusingInjuries that she photoshopped together based on suggestions from her Twitter followers. Every single one is gold.
** The sheer absurdity of [[HughMann Doctor Shark]].

--->'''Allison:''' "Trained diplomat" Captain Archer is told about the tree pissing incident and when told T'Pol appologized for him, he gets upset. "Trained diplomat" Captain Archer is mad because the aliens get offended too easily, forgetting that "Dog pisses on sacred tree" is less an alien offense and more of a "regular" offense". "Trained diplomat" Captain Archer says they [[InsaneTrollLogic should've checked to see if there was a pathogen in the air that his dog and that it's their fault.]] "Trained diplomat" Captain Archer refuses to do their proposed act of contrition. "Trained Diplomat" Captain Archer takes back any sort of apology and spends the rest of the episode whining like a xenophobic idiot even though they need this part for their ship to run. "Trained diplomat" Captain Archer.\\
'''Captain Archer:''' If anything happens to Porthos, ''I'll be the one watering their alvera trees''. \\

-->'''Allison:''' Let me be upfront with y'all. I"m not a Trekkie, I'm just a Scott Bakula fan. But even I, with rudimentary ''Star Trek'' knowledge, can easily say that ''Enterprise'' is a pile of hot steaming garbage. As I sit through the interminably long episodes of this mess I find my sanity slipping away. At times it feels like maybe space is a boring, horny expanse. Maybe women do randomly loose their shirts during important missions. That's just how life is. Who knows after Enterprise has fried my brain like ice cream on a hot sidewalk?

** Allison playing "Turn Down For What" after T'Pol calls archer out for letting his pride get in the way of things.

* In her ''Witchcraft 666'' review: "You got two guesses as to what's on screen next: boobs, or ''delicious chocolate cake.''" [[[[TakeAThirdOption The answer]]: [[spoiler:[[GagCensor boobs censored by delicious chocolate cake]]]].

* In her ''Witchcraft 666'' review: "You got two guesses as to what's on screen next: boobs, or ''delicious chocolate cake.''" The answer:[[spoiler:[[TakeAThirdOption boobs censored by delicious chocolate cake]]]].

--> Hello, I'm Obscurus Lupa, and welcome to the review of Witchcraft 8. Ai yiyiyiyi! *shakes maracas, screen flashes the colors of the Mexican flag*

* From her review of ''Film/TheFlyII'', referring to ''Eric Stoltz:'' How sad, he went from [[TheOtherMarty almost being]] [[Film/BackToTheFuture Marty McFly]] to being...[[NameMcAdjective Marty McFly]].

** The montage of the RoaringRampageOfRevenge MookHorrorShow is scored with [[Film/SpaceJam "I Believe I Can Fly".

* Her RunningGags in her ''Series/{{Charmed}}'' Manic Episodes: