History FanFic / WereJerrySpringerNotCasablanca

''we're jerry springer, not casablanca.'' is a Film/GuardiansOfTheGalaxy fanfic by judypoovey.

* MulticoloredHair: Gamora's hair has pink streaks at the end.

->''He wouldn’t say he was a great parent. Hell, even “good” would be a stretch. But they developed like they were supposed to, ate two or three meals a day and had a roof over their heads. He was at least a mediocre dad''

-->''Drax’s girlfriend...was almost hilariously humorless, a foil to Drax’s socially stunted bombast''.

-->''It was hard to differentiate between “best” friend and “only” friend, but Tullk was probably both''.
* TeenGenius: Rocket is a fourteen year old who is "constantly building weird gadgets and “fixing” things around the house".

''We're Jerry Springer Not Casablanca'' is a Film/GuardiansOfTheGalaxy fanfic by judypoovey.

* {{Adorkable}}: Mantis is socially awkward, but is also the sweetest and least cynical of Yondu's children.

* BiTheWay: Kraglin.

* AbusiveParents: Ego implied to be this for Mantis, as she has almost no social skills and is scared to be around strangers at first

* {{Adorkable}}: Mantis is socially awkward, but is also the sweetest and least cynical of Yondu's children

* BiTheWay: Kraglin
* HandicappedBadass: Nebula has a prosthetic arm and leg, but doesn't hesitate to start a fight with the man who catcalled Mantis
* HugeSchoolgirl: Groot is a male version of this, as at twelve years old he's already at eye level with Yondu
* IWasQuiteAFashionVictim: Invoked by Yondu when Peter sees old photos of Yondu and his friends from [[UsefulNotes/TheEighties The 80s]], which include Yondu with a [[DelinquentHair bright red mohawk]] and a denim vest
* ItsPersonal: Peter snaps and attacks Ego when he learns that [[spoiler: Ego set the fire that killed his mother]]
* JerkWithAHeartOfGold: Nebula is abrasive and loud, but stands up for Mantis, and is always kind to her
* ManipulativeBastard: Ego attempts to force Peter into [[spoiler: manufacturing drugs]] by promising that he'll pay for Peter to go to any college he wants
* MissingMom: Peter's mother, who died when Peter was six, and Mantis' mother, who [[spoiler: who died giving birth to Mantis]]
* MulticoloredHair: Gamora's hair has pink streaks at the end
* PapaWolf: Yondu becomes this when Mantis gets catcalled, and later again when [[spoiler: Ego attacks Peter, going so far as to hit him with Kraglin's car]]
* StraightMan: Drax's girlfriend Hovat is a female example, as she seems to have almost no sense of humour in contrast to the raucous Drax
-->''Drax’s girlfriend...was almost hilariously humorless, a foil to Drax’s socially stunted bombast''
* VitriolicBestBuds: Yondu and Tullk
-->''It was hard to differentiate between “best” friend and “only” friend, but Tullk was probably both''
* TeenGenius: Rocket is a fourteen year old who is "constantly building weird gadgets and “fixing” things around the house"
* TheAllegedCar: Kraglin's car, the trunk is literally held together with a ''paperclip''
* {{Tsundere}}: Nebula, and to a lesser extent, Gamora
* {{Twincest}}: Implied with Ayesha

* IWasQuiteAFashionVictim: Invoked by Yondu when Peter sees old photos of Yondu and his friends from the 80's, which include Yondu with a [[DelinquentHair bright red mohawk]] and a denim vest

* Tsundere: Nebula, and to a lesser extent, Gamora

-->-- Yondu describes his parenting style

* IWasQuiteTheFashionVictim: Invoked by Yondu when Peter sees old photos of Yondu and his friends from the 80's, which include Yondu with a [[DelinquentHair bright red mohawk]] and a denim vest

* IWasQuietTheFashionVictim: Invoked by Yondu when Peter sees old photos of Yondu and his friends from the 80's, which include Yondu with a [[DelinquentHair bright red mohawk]] and a denim vest

* ManipulativeBastard: Ego attempts to force Peter into [[spoiler: manufacturing drugs]] by promising him that he'll pay for Peter to go to any college he wants

* TeenGenius: Rocket is this definitely, as he is a fourteen year old who is described as "constantly building weird gadgets and “fixing” things around the house"

* TeenGenius: Rocket is this definitely, as he is a fourteen year old who is described as "constantly building weird gadgets and “fixing” things around the house"

The story is set in an [[AlternateUniverseFic AU]], where everyone is human, Yondu has [[BigScrewedUpFamily four adopted children]] and is trying to raise them all without going insane. Things get complicated when he meets Kraglin, a scruffy punk with a neck tattoo. Things get even more complicated when Ego comes back for one of his children.

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The story is set in an [[AlternateUniverseFic AU]], where everyone is human, Yondu has [[BigScrewedUpFamily four adopted children]] and Kraglin is a bartender with a neck tattoo.