History Creator / Seanbaby

* ArtisticLicenseMartialArts: Being a practitioner of Muay Thai and Jiujitsu means he doesn't get much wrong, but one of his MMA articles mentions that military martial arts like Krav Maga are "fake" because nobody uses them in MMA competitions. Those who have studied such arts can tell you that these disciplines don't turn up in competitions because, as they are taught to soldiers, most techniques are modified to involve disarming and restraining an enemy until either the soldier or one of their buddies can then ''kill'' said enemy with a weapon. Obviously, that's not gonna fly in any kind of unarmed exhibition fighting.

* ArtisticLicenseMartialArts: Being a practitioner of Muay Thai and Jiujitsu means he doesn't get much wrong, but one of his MMA articles mentions that military martial arts like Krav Maga are "fake" because nobody uses them in MMA competitions. Those who have studied such arts can tell you that these disciplines don't turn up in competitions because, as they are taught to soldiers, most techniques are modified to involve disarming and restraining an enemy until either the soldier or one of their buddies can then ''kill'' said enemy with a weapon, so they're obviously not suited to unarmed exhibition fighting.

* AccentuateTheNegative: Quite a lot of his articles focus on the flaws of what he discusses with nary a word regarding the topic's merits, but it is occasionally averted. For instance, there's his list of [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-10-most-irreplaceable-performances-in-comedy-films/ irreplaceable comedy performances,]] designed as a tribute to Leslie Nielsen and actually praising the people listed.

* FunWithAcronyms: Sean has a special knack for coming up with these. One great example comes from his A.R.N.O.L.D. system for ranking Creator/ArnoldSchwarzenegger's best onscreen kills:
-->[[RuleOfCool A.wesomeness]]\\

* RatedMForManly: Seanbaby likes to play this straight and lampshade it at the same time.

Seanbaby is still hilarious on Twitter. Mostly he posts pictures of him reading the weirdest books he can find to his infant daughter who is legit named Rebel Timecop. His newest project is [[http://www.1900hotdog.com 1-900-HOTDOG]], a comedy site maintained by both himself and other former ''Cracked.com'' staff.

* MaleGaze: In one ''EGM'' article where he and his girlfriend tried to find the worst products showcased at E3, one involved her wearing a VR headset that blocked her view of the outside world completely. Naturally, this gave Seanbaby an opportunity to take a picture of himself staring down her shirt ([[NavelDeepNeckline she was cosplaying as Christie from]] ''VideoGame/{{Tekken}}'']]) without her noticing.

* MaleGaze: In one ''EGM'' article where he and his girlfriend tried to find the worst products showcased at E3, one involved her wearing a VR headset that blocked her view of the outside world completely. Naturally, this gave Seanbaby an opportunity to take a picture of himself staring down her shirt ([[NavelDeepNeckline she was cosplaying as Christie from ''Tekken'']]) without her noticing.

* MaleGaze: In one ''EGM'' article where he and his girlfriend tried to find the worst products showcased at E3, one involved her wearing a VR headset that blocked her view of the outside world completely. Naturally, this gave Seanbaby an opportunity to take a picture of him staring down her shirt ([[NavelDeepNeckline she was cosplaying as Christie from "Tekken"]]) without her noticing.

* MaleGaze: In one ''EGM'' article where he and his girlfriend tried to find the worst products showcased at E3, one involved her wearing a VR headset that blocked her view of the outside world completely. Naturally, this gave Seanbaby an opportunity to take a picture of him staring down her shirt ([[AbsoluteCleavage she was cosplaying as Christie from "Tekken"]]) without her noticing.

* MoralGuardians: Discussed in "[[https://www.cracked.com/blog/5-techniques-fearmongers-use-to-create-moral-panics/ 5 Techniques Fearmongers Use To Create Moral Panics]]", using the [=1980s=]' [[YouCanPanicNow moral panic against rock and roll music]] as his source.

** [[AC:None of you are safe!]]

-->'''Crispin Boyer:''' Seanbaby, I'm pretty sure Phil Collins is straight.
-->'''Seanbaby:''' Then why does he always, at every time, have forty to fifty dicks in his mouth?
-->'''Crispin:''' You don't know the context.

--> Compared to The Cat in the Hat, I give this game seventy Fanastitrophies for Excellence out of a possible none. Do the math on that - it defies the laws of trophy, and yet here we live in the twisted bizarro universe where it happened. The fact that it simply is not The Cat in the Hat makes it a tie with all the other games that are also not The Cat in the Hat for my favorite ever.

-->[[RuleOfCool A.wesomeness]]
-->[[CoolButStupid R.idiculousness]]
-->[[MoreDakka N.umber of Holes Created in Victim]]
-->[[TheUnintelligible O.uuaggahhhaaaarrh!!!!]]
-->[[AnArmAndALeg L.imbs Removed]]
-->[[BondOneLiner D.elivery of One-Liner]]

--> LEARNING stands for "Leading Excitement [[SanitySlippage ARGH! REALITY! NO- I- NO! GAAAAAH!]]

-->'''Reverend:''' I was chosen to be your god's '''messenger'''. Which of course means... [[ReligionOfEvil you worship ]]'''[[ReligionOfEvil fear]]''' now. Ha ha ha, oh my yes, '''run'''. It only makes your new god stronger.

-->'''Superman:''' ''(to ComicBook/{{Robin}})'' Just think: all day I know how small your penis is all day long.
-->'''Robin:''' AAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!
-->'''Superman:''' ''(on JLA monitor)'' Hey guys, I was looking at Robin's penis all day! Over!
-->'''Hawkman:''' Is that code for something?
-->'''Superman:''' Nope! Over!

* YouGottaHaveBlueHair: Or red hair, or red AND blue hair. As long as it's spiked, it's all good.
** And for his spectacular homemade 4th of July fireworks articles? Ayup: Red, white and blue hair!

* BerserkButton: He seems to be DrivenToMadness by the "romantic" advice laid out in books written by one Gregory J.P. Godek. Sean also really cranks up the venom whenever he's dissecting shitty, pun-filled kid's "joke" books.

* BerserkButton: He seems to be DrivenToMadness by the "romantic" advice laid out in books written by one Gregory J.P. Godek.

* AccentuateTheNegative: Occasionally averted. For instance, there's his list of [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-10-most-irreplaceable-performances-in-comedy-films/ irreplaceable comedy performances,]] designed as a tribute to Leslie Nielsen and actually praising the people listed.

* BoisterousBruiser
* BousterousWeakling: Many of his articles in some way deal with these: people who proudly broadcast their great fighting skill, often giving out martial arts records that appear to be completely impossible. Then someone manages to talk them into the ring, and they mysteriously end up being TKO'd in under a minute.

* TakeThat: People who write bad self-advice books, people with SmallNameBigEgo, [[NoBisexuals bisexual people]], people who fake having experience in martial arts...

* TheReasonYouSuckSpeech: Suffice it to say, Sean [[{{Understatement}} is not a fan of]] Creator/DennisMiller.

-->''She's bisexual, which is what guys call themselves for a few months before they say gay, and what girls call themselves when they can't interact with people without fingering them.''

* TakeThat: People who write bad self-advice books, people with SmallNameBigEgo, people who fake having experience in martial arts...

-->"So this lazy, elderly hack is on [[LongRunners his fourth decade]] of [[GlurgeAddict trying for cute and accidentally hitting obnoxious.]] If you Google his 60-second radio show, the only results are people making fun of it or [[MyGodYouAreSerious having trouble believing it exists.]] His podcast is a nonsensical technical failure, [[DeaderThanDisco his career-defining schtick is used as an insult against lazy comedians]], and [[OverlyNarrowSuperlative he has one of the lesser columns on a white supremacist website.]] So the next time someone argues that right-wing comedy has a chance, [[DamnedByFaintPraise remind them that this man is easily the most successful conservative comic who will ever live.]]"

Seanbaby is still hilarious on Twitter. Mostly he posts pictures of him reading the weirdest books he can find to his infant daughter who is legit named Rebel Timecop.

-->"So this lazy, elderly hack is on [[LongRunners his fourth decade]] of [[{{Glurge}} trying for cute and accidentally hitting obnoxious.]] If you Google his 60-second radio show, the only results are people making fun of it or [[MyGodYouAreSerious having trouble believing it exists.]] His podcast is a nonsensical technical failure, [[DeaderThanDisco his career-defining schtick is used as an insult against lazy comedians]], and [[OverlyNarrowSuperlative he has one of the lesser columns on a white supremacist website.]] So the next time someone argues that right-wing comedy has a chance, [[DamnedByFaintPraise remind them that this man is easily the most successful conservative comic who will ever live.]]"