History Creator / MitchHedberg

** People visiting his gravesite often leave receipts for doughnuts.

-->"I went to a Subway sandwich shop, and I said, 'Let me have a bun,' but she wouldn't sell me just a bun. [[ObstructiveCodeOfConduct She said it had to have something on it.]] She told me it's against regulations for Subway to sell just a bun; I guess the two halves ain't supposed to touch. So, I said, 'Alright, put some lettuce on it,' which they did. They said, 'That'll be $1.75.' I said, 'It's for a duck.' They said, 'Alright, well then it's free.' See, I did not know that ducks eat for free at Subway. Had I known that, I would've ordered a much larger sandwich. 'Lemme have the steak fajita sandwich, but don't bother ringing it up, it's for a duck! There are six ducks out there, and they ''all want Sun Chips!'''"

* StonersAreFunny: A stoner comedian, in fact. He played off his jokes about drugs, but he was known to use weed quite frequently.

* PerformancAnxiety: A lot of his comic persona was born out of his stage fright, especially his on-stage jittering and his CoolShades.

* LoopholeAbuse:

* [[CantYouReadTheSign Can't You Read the Sign?]]: This is his response when a child tells him a KnockKnockJoke while Mitch is wearing a Do Not Disturb sign.
%% * CloudCuckoolander

-->"I don't need a receipt for a doughnut. I'll just give you the money, and you give me the doughnut. End of transaction! We don't need to bring ink and paper into this! I can not imagine a scenario where I'd have to prove that ''I bought a doughnut''. Some skeptical friend...'Don't even act like I didn't get that doughnut! I've got the documentation right here! Oh, wait, it's back home, in the file. Under d...for doughnut.'"
%% * ComicallyMissingThePoint
* CordonBleughChef: Banana bread pastrami cottage cheese sandwich.

-->"It's like a cow with a cracker on either side... 'Whatcha gonna have?' A pastrami sandwich. 'Would you like anything with that?' Yeah, a loaf of bread and some other people."

%% * ClusterFBomb

* CordonBleughChef: Banana bread pastrami cottage cheese sandwich

* DeadpanSnarker

* StonersAreFunny

* AluminumChristmasTrees: UsefulNotes/McDonalds actually did sell spaghetti briefly in the '80s, though most people probably thought Mitch made that up for his "Stubborn [=McDonald's=] manager" bit. It's still available in the Philippines.

-->"I went to a Subway sandwich shop, and I said, 'Let me have a bun,' but she wouldn't sell me just a bun. [[ObstructiveCodeOfConduct She said it had to have something on it.]] She told me it's against regulations for Subway to sell just a bun; I guess the two halves ain't supposed to touch. So, I said, 'Alright, put some lettuce on it,' which they did. They said, 'That'll be $1.75.' I said, 'It's for a duck.' They said, 'Alright, well then it's free.' See, I did not know that ducks eat for free at Subway. Had I known that, I would've ordered a much larger sandwich. 'Lemme have the steak fajita sandwich, but don't bother ringing it up, it's for a duck! There are six ducks out there, and they all want Sun Chips!'"

-->"I don't need a receipt for a doughnut. I'll just give you the money, and you give me the doughnut. End of transaction! We don't need to bring ink and paper into this! I can't imagine a scenario where I'd have to prove that I bought a doughnut. Some skeptical friend...'Don't even act like I didn't buy that doughnut! I've got the documentation right here! Oh, wait, it's back home, in the file. Under d...for doughnut.'"

Mitch Hedberg (February 24, 1968 -- March 30, 2005) was an American stand-up comedian who used a lot of one-liners, like Creator/StevenWright with a more laid back delivery. He was known for his monotone voice and [[CoolShades rose-colored aviator glasses]]. He specialized in wordplay, non sequiturs and observational comedy. He made a few appearances on a handful of TV shows and did some voice work for ''WesternAnimation/HomeMovies''.

* ObsessedWithFood: He just loves to joke about food. It’s been said that he would walk around the grocery store to get inspiration for new jokes. When introduced as having appeared on a popular late night talk show, Mitch responded, "... but I think more people have seen me at the store. That should be my introduction."

* [[FoodTropes Food]]: He just loves to joke about food. It’s been said that he would walk around the grocery store to get inspiration for new jokes. When introduced as having appeared on a popular late night talk show, Mitch responded, "... but I think more people have seen me at the store. That should be my introduction."

* JustForFun/XMeetsY: Foosball: soccer meets shish kabobs.

* XMeetsY: Foosball: soccer meets shish kabobs.

* CloudCuckoolander
* ClusterFBomb

* ComicallyMissingThePoint

* NoExceptYes: "My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said, 'No. But I want a regular banana later, so... yeah.'"

'''Mitch Hedberg''' (February 24, 1968 -- March 30, 2005) was an American stand-up comedian who used a lot of one-liners, like Creator/StevenWright with a more laid back delivery. He was known for his monotone voice and [[CoolShades rose-colored aviator glasses]]. He specialized in wordplay, non sequiturs and observational comedy. He made a few appearances on a handful of TV shows and did some voice work for ''WesternAnimation/HomeMovies''.

-->"There's a large, ''out-of-focus'' monster running around the countryside. That's ''extra'' scary to me. Run, he's fuzzy!"

* AluminumChristmasTrees: UsefulNotes/McDonalds actually did sell spaghetti briefly in the '70s, though most people probably thought Mitch made that up for his "Stubborn [=McDonald's=] manager" bit.

->''"[[TheAlcoholic Alcoholism]] is a disease, but [[AcceptableTargets it's the only one you can get yelled at for having]]. 'Goddamn it, Otto, you're an alcoholic.' 'Goddamn it, Otto, you have lupus.' One of those two doesn’t sound right."''
-->-- '''Mitch Hedberg'''

-->-- '''Mitch Hedberg'''

->''"I was standing in the lobby of this hotel just minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, 'Sir, could you please move? You're blocking the fire exit.' As though if there was a fire, I wasn't going to '''run'''. If you're flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit. You can write that down and put a dash in front of it... and put my name at the bottom."''
-->-- '''Mitch Hedberg'''

'''Mitch Hedburg''' (February 24, 1968 -- March 30, 2005) was an American stand-up comedian who used a lot of one-liners, like Creator/StevenWright with a more laid back delivery. He was known for his monotone voice and [[CoolShades rose-colored aviator glasses]]. He specialized in wordplay, non sequiturs and observational comedy. He made a few appearances on a handful of TV shows and did some voice work for ''WesternAnimation/HomeMovies''.

A breakout comedian who used a lot of one-liners, like Creator/StevenWright with a more laid back delivery. He was known for his monotone voice and [[CoolShades rose-colored aviator glasses]]. He specialized in wordplay, non sequiturs and observational comedy. He made a few appearances on a handful of TV shows and did some voice work for ''WesternAnimation/HomeMovies''.