We try to kill SCP-682

Result: SCP-682 becomes hot enough to burn whoever was striking him, and he also melts through solid steel. Containment breached.

Test: Use SCP-1543-J to launch SCP-682 right into SCP-1548.

edited 12th May '16 2:10:26 PM by AHI-3000

Result: SUCCESS! SCP-682 has been terminated, at the expense of a really awesome catapult.

Researcher Phill: Umm... Guys, is it just me or is that a meteorite heading towards Earth?

Addendenum: Approximately ██ Weeks later, the Meteorite apprently turned out to be a flaming SCP-682, and crash landed right in it's containment cell at Site-█. As a result of the crashing landing the entire facility was destroyed, along with █ D-Class Personal, and ██ Researchers. SCP-682 looked scared beyond his mind, and he immediately started emitting {DATA REDACTED} in which many more personal died due to the intensity of the volume. It was Presumed to be a death threat from SCP-1548.

Researcher Phill: I probably shouldn't have sen't everybody out at his containment cell. Requesting demotion and Class-A Amnesiatics upon O-5 Command?

Test: Send me out to put instances of SCP-348 on each of the dead bodies in the hope that SCP-682 would eat anyone of them, and later put him on a SCP-faciliated transportation vehicle which was marketed with said ticket?

Result: Failure. Philldough was noticed by SCP-682 and subsequently eaten.

Test: Send out Chargeman Ken! with his Alpha-Gun. If anyone wins, we will get rid of a fucker either way.

Result: Failure... Kinda. 682 ate the kid after the gun did jack-shit to it, but now Ken's gone.

Test: Try eating it.

Result: SCP-682 quickly retaliated against and killed the Class-D who attempted to eat him.

Test: Teleport SCP-682 to Xen.

Result: Test Canceled.

Black Mesa banned us from containing SCP-682 in Xen. They did not want to lose a valuable resource to the goddamned lizard in fear that it'll make a permenant home in that dimension.

Test: Send Dr. Clef to convince Black Mesa to allow us to send SCP-682 to the Xen.

Result: Black Mesa still refused.

Test: Have SCP-682 fight Giantdad.

Result: SCP-682 loses the fight, but survives anyway.

Test: Use a magical genie's lamp and say, "I wish for the death of SCP-682."

edited 13th May '16 4:03:54 PM by AHI-3000

Result: The SCP Foundation wishes to kill SCP-682.

Wish Granted. SCP-682 is now dead.

Researcher Phill: "YES!!!"

Addendenum: Never mind. SCP-682 got back up again. Apparently magic does nothing to him, as so proven by the wizards that we sent to kill him several tests ago. Which he ate. Now SCP-682 ate the genie and now he has unlimited magic.

"Which idiot let the genie wonder in the containment cell?" - O5█

Test: Put magical SCP-682 in Azkanaban

Researcher Phill: Let The Dementors have him. They feed off of magic and happiness. Who knows if 682 is able to feel more emotions other than {DATA REDACTED}.

Result: SCP-682 escapes Azkaban. If the Foundation can't keep him in their custody for too long, what makes us think that others could do it better?

"NO PRISON CAN HOLD ME!" — SCP-682

Test: Create a clone of SCP-682 (whom we will designate as SCP-682-B). SCP-682-B has all the same powers and abilities as SCP-682-A, however SCP-682-B's personality is totally different (he likes humans and most creatures, but hates SCP-682-A with a passion). Then have both specimens of SCP-682 fight each other to the death!

edited 15th May '16 2:49:24 PM by AHI-3000

Result: Upon successful cloning, attempts to rewrite it's mind have failed. Two major containment breaches.

Test: We assemble a team of teenagers with attitude and superpowers to fight him.

Result: SCP-682 just copies their superpowers, and then [DATA EXPUNGED]

Test: Have SCP-682 battle Chuck Norris, Theodore Roosevelt, and Abraham Lincoln. ^note The Memetic Badass versions of those men, not the real guys who would get eaten.

edited 6th Jun '16 11:17:32 AM by AHI-3000

Result: ZK-class end-of-the-world scenario, but reality is quickly renewed JoJos Bizarre Adventure-style, without the event of Chuck Norris and SCP-682 colliding.

Test: Place SCP-682 in a copy of Chelyabinsk.

Result: CP-682 was hit by the meteor at point-blank and was severely weakened. However, it regenerated and then it went on a rampage killing [DATA EXPUNGED] people. He was stopped and then contained.

Test: Have Buu(any version) absorb him, and then seal hi away at the egg that Buu was sealed at at first. If we can't kill him, then perhaps we can seal him.

edited 16th May '16 5:58:41 PM by SCP682WILLDIE

Result: Thanks a lot, now we've got a weird hybrid of Buu and SCP-682 to deal with!

Test: Expose SCP-682 to SCP-579 and SCP-055.

Bump.

Result: Temporal reset. 682 loses all its adaptions.

Test: Put it in the Slipstream fighter from Overwatch. He'll disappear and need a chronal accelerator to stay in the present.

Result: Partially successful. SCP-682 disappeared from the present for one month, and returned right after, appearing severely weakened and barely capable of moving at all. He was so weakened that foundation researchers were capable of analyzing him without suffering horrible deaths. Extensive analysis of SPC-682's DNA revealed that he wasnn't capable of adapting to that, so this test may be a key to 682's demise in the near future. He was easily contained.

TEST: Have Majin Buu absorb him, but without having any effect on his power\skills, and then hit him with a Fully-Powered Spirit Bomb. EVERY. CELL.

Result: 682 somehow reflected the spirit bomb. Frame-by-frame security footage showed 682 somehow gaining a biological energy shield for one half-second, allowing him to deflect the attack.

Test: Have the Gorgons of Destiny erase him from existence.

(What? No one actually KNOWS how the Slipstream works? In the Overwatch storyline, it chronologically displaced Lena Oxton, also known as Tracer. She was only able to stay in the present when a gorilla scientist named Winston (blame genetic modification) made her a device called a chronal accelerator. I was hoping we could permanently keep him stuck in time.)

edited 21st May '16 8:41:59 AM by CalvinBoyOfDestiny

Results: SCP-682 erases the Gorgons of Destiny from existence.

Test: Shoot SCP-682 with the Gun That Can Kill The Past.

Just to you to know, there's absolutely no way in hell that SCP-682 could kill the Sisters of Fate(which is what i think that he meant with Gorgons of Destiny) they just need to smash SCP-682's life string and..he is dead.

Result: Failure. SCP-682 dodged the bullets with superhuman speed.

Test: Force him to drink Veritaserum, and then ask him how to destroy him.

Result: SCP-682 reveals the secret to destroying him, which is [DATA EXPUNGED]. Unfortunately, this is far beyond the capabilities of the SCPF or any human organization, so we'll be stuck with him for God knows how much longer!

Test: Try to appease SCP-682 with a virgin sacrifice.

Result: SCP-682 was not appeased.

Test: Give SCP-682 a small loan of a million dollars.

Result: 682 ate the money, the D-class holding the money, the idiot who left the door open, and numerous faculty personel. Containment Breach.

Test: Attempt to toss 682 into the event horizon of a star collapsing into a black hole.

(If you're wondering about the Gorgons, I was talking about the enemies in the video game Destiny.) Result: 682 ended up on Earth. Guess the "black holes are portals" theory is true.

Test: Put him in any FPS game's insta-kill water.

(YAY 2000TH POST!)

edited 22nd May '16 4:15:59 PM by CalvinBoyOfDestiny