Lessons learned the hard way

Based off this thread in the VG fora

Yu-Gi-Oh TCG

• This is a card game where staying closer to the minimum of your card allowance is best.
• Restraint. Blow your best cards too early whilst your opponent still has a field that can deal with them and you're just going to end up at the end of the game with no trump card.
• Read every card carefully. You will be called on misreads.
• The answer to everything is NOT "Summon 2 'Batteryman AAA and XYZ for Number 39: Utopia'"
• Gagaga Cowboy in ATK position is just asking to be destroyed next turn.
• Cannot Be Destroyed By Battle =/= Invincible. Marshmallon my be able to hold off Master of Oz but any card effect still one-shots it

Warhammer 40000:

• Never get cocky.
• Walking is not a viable strategy when your transports are nice and cheap.
• Popping smoke on the first turn is all but vital, unless terrain is nice and dense.

Advance Dungeons and Dragons:
* Yes, it is the fall that kills you
* No magic sword is worth more than your life, especially when the party can't afford a rez
* There is an excessively high chance that rats in a sewer dungeon are plague rats
* Never trust a wizard that isn't in the party. Hell don't trust the wizards that are in the party

edited 13th Mar '13 5:52:32 AM by SlendidSuit

D&D

• Always make a spot check before talking to someone to make sure they aren't the GM's pet Kobold Assassin NPC wearing a wig and using stilts to disguise himself as an elf with the help of his ungodly high disguise skill bonus.

edited 13th Mar '13 5:55:51 AM by CobraPrime

Magic The Gathering

• When you know your opponent is playing Phage the Untouchable, you should have guessed he had a way to give her Fear.
• Be wary of the guy who spends hundreds to make his deck. He will drop a Sliver Overlord on turn 2 more often than not.
• Don't use a deck based on creature stealing against a deck who plays no creatures at all.

Pokemon Tabletop Adventures

• As a DM, always have a few spare trainers with stats, just in case your players want to challenge a random guy you didn't even gave a name to.
• Be afraid when an NPC declares he doesn't even need a Pokémon to beat you. Because he can. WITH HIS MIND.

Magic The Gathering:

• Building a fun, synergistic deck is all well and good, but at the end of the day, if your mana base sucks, you're screwed.
• The answer to your problems is ALWAYS "more elves" or possibly, "more goblins."
• As funny as it is to get your life points to triple digits, that doesn't win games. Blowing resources on things that don't win games is almost always pointless.
• The good things in life are cheap. Lightning bolt. Force of will. Path to Exile. Tarmogoyf. Dark Confidant. And unless they are red, Crack is Cheaper.
• If you just built a really awesome deck that revolves around a key card, chances are good it's going to be banned in a few weeks.

Warhammer 40 K

• Humping cover like a coward won't win you any style points, but it will keep those filthy gue'la from from turning you into chunks of Greater Good.
• Terminators are scary. Broadsides however, are scarier.
• Kroot are always useless. Always. Ork nobz, on the other hand, are actually pretty sweet as allies.
• If you pray hard enough, a new codex will come out. Eventually.
• Taking space marines as allies and painting them in Tau colors is funny. Watching your opponents rage is funnier. Getting slaughtered by that preferred enemy bonus however, is not.
• For ethereals, suicide really is the best option.
• If your facing grey knights, you've already lost. As such, troll your opponent as hard as you can before you die.

War Machine

• Remember kids, if you set up a feat turn, you still need to actually pop that feat for it to do you any good.
• Warbeasts can always take a warjack in a fair fight. As such, don't fight fair.
• Assassinating warcasters is a reliable way to win. Trying to assassinate warlocks however, is a reliable way to get your ass kicked unless their warbeasts are already dead.
• When in doubt, sing battle. Do not however, forget to sing.
• Despite what I may think, I am the only one who things having Harbinger say "ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL" whenever she allocates a jack focus is funny. However, saying "THIS HURTS YOU" right before she marytres is always hilarious.
• Just because you can reliably roll 7s on two dice does not mean you will. The same goes for any number higher then about 4.
• Remember, you can't control deviation. Which means that if deviating in a certain direction will drop that template right on your own guys, it's going to happen.
• By extension, if that template doesn't kill your own guys, the fire you just put on them probably will.

edited 14th Mar '13 11:21:21 AM by FullParagon

Yu-Gi-Oh!

• Inferno Reckless Summon also allows your opponent to search all of a monster they have on the field. And they aren't limited to <=1500ATK Monsters. Unless you have a backup plan (Read: Short Circuit), it can be suicide to Inferno when your opponent has strong monsters.
• Rather like the MTG example above, having a 5-digit life total won't win the duel.
• If you are using a Limited card and therefore only have one, make sure it is the best time to deploy it or you really do have no other option. Same goes with cards you need to play all 3 copies of to be effective (such as Batteryman AA)
• You can have five monsters and five trap/spells. Don't fill up your field too much or you will regret it later.
• If you manage to MST an opponent's MST, that's not a waste, it's a victory since they can no longer play that MST at their own discretions.

Yu Gi Oh

• Just because you can make a Forgotten Temple of the Deep deck does not mean you should.
• Just because you can make two Forgotten Temple of the Deep decks does not mean you should.
• Stop making Forgotten Temple of the Deep decks; they suck.
• For some people, the fun isn't from the journey of the duel. For some, it's the satisfying feeling of crushing you with absolute certainty using a card-for-card netdecked deck. And that's okay.

Warhammer 40000: When your transport explodes, remember that how you place the survivors is important now, so your sergeant with power fist is not the first to die when anyone else shoots at you

Yu Gi Oh

• Just because it looks cool, does not a viable deck make (Batterymen)
• Mirror. Fucking. Force. Your opponent always has one. In fact, they always have two.
• Shi. En's. Second. Fucking. Effect. Being able to sac another monster of yours to save Shi En is something you really need to remember you can actually do.
• Shi En =/= Shien. Therefore you can't search Shi En from your Graveyard with Gateway of the Six.
• Six Sams like going second.

Six Sams like going first too. Negate all those play starting S/Ts.

Spirits are the worst idea ever. As funny as a Ultimate Offering troll session is, it isn't effective.

When I'm the GM, then you know what? It's my world and the player characters just live in it. My characters don't have to suffer any of the effects of critical failures if I don't want them to (it's usually my choice anyway!). I don't need to track damage if I don't want to - bad guys die when I let them. If all the NP Cs failed characteristic checks, then there is absolutely nothing stopping me moving those goalposts. The campaign is going to be so much more epic when the enemies stop jamming their guns, dying in one turn or falling into pits.

Dungeons & Dragons / Pathfinder:

Don't mock powerful individuals unless the DM intends for you to kill them later.

edited 20th Mar '13 5:17:51 PM by TriggerLoaded

Legend System: Just because you can give every single combat-capable NPC the ability to teleport does not mean you should.

Pathfinder:
If the city is full of Drow, founded by Drow and run by Drow, looting unconscious Drow in plain sight in a popular tavern is probably not the best plan.

Dn D: If the GM has gone to the trouble of pulling out the figurines and war map, you're going to fight, so don't give them the benefit of the doubt. And always use Smite Undead whenever possible because holy balls, that's a lot of damage.

In General: Don't interrogate enemies in the middle of a fight.

Dark Heresy: Wounds are a good starting measuring stick for how tough a fight's going to be, so if an enemy has, say, 10 wounds and under 40 toughness, it's going to be a pretty quick fight.

Conversely, anything with the Unnatural Toughness Trait is going to be a serious threat to a starting party. Especially if its combined with Regeneration. UT is second only to Fear when it comes to things that neutralize parties when they don't have a proper counter.

I've abused that assumption so much.

"Well, you killed the prince!" "We had no choice!" "You didn't even try to talk to him!" "But the mat was out.... DAMNIT!"

edited 22nd Mar '13 8:44:07 AM by CobraPrime

"You just spent 15 minutes setting up tiles, assorted minis and terrain (you ran out of fantasy stuff and had to use the Christmas village again) and you are complaining about us putting them to use?"

edited 22nd Mar '13 8:50:01 AM by Rationalinsanity

Christmas village? Lord, we'd never be able to get through a game and take that seriously...

"I attack the carolers for 3d10 damage!" "Those aren't carolers! They're a party of orcs!" "Are the orcs singing 'God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen?'"

And so on...

Also, who would represent the most powerful character, Santa Claus or Baby Jesus?

If you're playing The Dresden Files, Santa, no contest. Otherwise, Jesus.

I dunno, when Santa is asked for stuff, it actually comes sometimes.

"No. Celebrating that all it took for your characters to become fugitives and public enemy #1 is me taking 15 minutes drawing up houses on a mat."

Dunno about that. Look at Archangels and what they can do. Who knows what Jesus is like the Dresden Files!

edited 25th Mar '13 9:42:20 AM by CobraPrime

Clarification: If the DM is a volunteer with a bunch of other D Ms running the same module and it's all from a book and the book has the maps, then (see previous post)

Yu Gi Oh

• Just because it's called a Tier 1 Deck doesn't mean you can't come to your own conclusions and say you prefer the Tier 2 Six Samurai to the Tier 1 Wind-Ups
• Fuck Herald of Perfection
• If you and your opponent have stalled because you can't get past one DEF monster, that doesn't mean you can stop attacking their others.
• Fuck Herald of Perfection
• Remember - Heart of the Cards is bullshit, you can't topdeck and your deck HATES you.
• Fuck Herald of Perfection
  • No, really, fuck it.