Perceptions of British People

Muggles Do It Better

Indeed they do.

But how are you meant to get a job in this economy without an SQA recognised qualification? Silly wizards.

Is that a bumper sticker? Like 'Rescue divers do it in a wetsuit'?

edited 15th Jan '14 11:59:27 AM by InverurieJones

That is interesting. How do the wizarding humans work in the Muggle world? Because they have no formal qualifications, and I doubt they're taught Muggle science or Muggle maths in Hogwarts. So they'll have - at best - a rudimentary understanding of addition and subtraction.

Hopey, that's what Muggle Studies is for.

According to the books they function very poorly outside of the magical world. There are a lot of wizards who are Muggle born though, so presumably they get caught up on Muggle things when they leave school during the summer.

@ Begonia. They have Muggle Studies? I don't remember that.

Ah, okay. That makes sense.

edited 15th Jan '14 12:05:50 PM by INHOPELESSGUY

Of the main cast, only Hermoine took it. For only one year before she dropped it because it was one class too many, and that she really didn't even need. We never see her in the class. The teacher is killed by Voldemort.

Some of the Weasleys got an OWL in it, and Hermione was trying it.

Oh, yes.

I remember.

In a bit of sad news for Britain, Roger Lloyd Pack has died.

"If it's a girl they're calling it Sigourney after an actress, and if it's a boy they're naming him Rodney after Dave!"

No, not Trigger/Owen/Barty Crouch Sr!

May he rest in peace. He was a fine actor.

Indeed. I still find it hard to believe.

I tried the "make your own haggis" thingy for lunch today.

It wasn't that good.

Not awful. Not poisonous, and I followed all the directions. It's just not as good as when I used to get it when I lived in Scotland.

Sorry it didn't work out for you That's the US government's fault, unfortunately; haggis needs sheep's pluck, and the organs of sheep have been illegal to import into the United States since '71. Which recipe did you try,the start-from-scratch one on wikirecipes?

And speaking of Haggis, Saturday is Burns Night! Here is a version of my favourite Burns Poem, and here is Andy Stewart's version.

And a starter for ten: which country was the first to put Rabbie Burns on a postage stamp?

Very sad to hear you're missing Scotland unnoun; I'm sure Scotland's missing you But hey, longing for home is certainly common among us, as this memetically successful lager advert shows:

Soviet Union, wasn't it?

You hate American chocolate.

• The English: "Tally ho, old chap! The riff-raff back home are on my back again..." Every one of them must have fallen into a cauldron of starch as a kid.
  DISCLAIMER: doesn't apply to chavs, neds, and pikeys. Those must have happened as the effect of an unholy union between a Welshman and a ram.
• The Scots: Big, drunk, rowdy, bearded and mostly ginger, they talk funny. Calling their kilts "skirts" is sure to get you a shoeing.
• The Irish: Smaller, more drunk, less rowdy, less bearded, more ginger, they talk funnier. They want outta here.
• The Welsh: They shag sheep.

edited 26th Jan '14 4:17:48 AM by NotSoBadassLongcoat

Not so much hatred as the fact that America has gotten chocolate wrong.

No they don't. Unless you mean shag carpeting.

EDIT: An inaccurate map of British accents.

edited 26th Jan '14 6:02:53 AM by unnoun

Sorry, I heard one joke about the Welsh and bestiality too many. And that would be one.

These are mine. Some parts are obvious exaggerations/jokes:

English: They're generally polite, but don't let them ever get drunk, for they'll destroy your place (especially if it's a group of football fans, and even more so when they're supporting the national team). Tea is their water, they gossip about their Royal Family. Their newspapers are peculiar. Oop North people hate Londoners. They fear Germans. British women are very moody, and some of them are quite pretty (the others have unfortunate genes).

Scottish: Kilts. Glasgow vs. Rangers (though Rangers is now absent from the field of battle to fight in smaller fields). Whisky is their drink, period (the Irish and other people have to add an "e", otherwise there'll be trouble). Bagpipes and castles are also quite common. They're brave, stingy, and some of them are downright violent.

Welsh: They talk and write a language as if they're smashing their keyboard randomly. They have the unfortunate reputation of sheep-fucking. That probably justifies the appearance of aliens. They have some great football players, but their team is kinda weak, so they're usually absent from the big competitions. They're also great singers.

Northern Irish: Catholics vs. Protestants. Difficult to understand. Frankly, I don't know much about them.

edited 26th Jan '14 8:29:51 AM by Quag15

Oh yes, I forgot: Scots are like overgrown dwarves. My half-Scottish half-Chinese friend is almost seven foot tall and once broke a wooden beam with his head. By accident.

What.

Helpful guide for Brits and Americans.◊

Note: the last one is somewhat inaccurate for Americans. Hats are against dress code.