If you lived in a fantasy kitchen sink what would you be?

Depends how you interpret the question. The ambiguity comes from the word "would". It could mean, "What effect would you living in a fantasy kitchen sink have on you?", in which case you'd obviously still be human, but possibly different in other respects due to the circumstances.

However, assuming that joyflower is not, in reality, a werehyaena, that is probably not the interpretation she intended.

If the idea is that you can be literally anything you want, I think this question is actually exceedingly difficult.

I know I wouldn't be anything godlike in power. That'd be far too much responsibility for me to handle, and I don't think I should be trusted with it.

I suppose I'd like to be something capable of exciting and fun things like flight, while still capable of everything I'm capable of at present.

On the other hand, it would be nice to be something very happy and very stupid, incapable of worrying about anything other than where the next easily-attained meal was coming from. But that's not my answer. That'd be a dreadful answer.

I'm going to go with some kind of mage or sorceror, I guess. Providing I didn't have to do anything horrible to be one.

I'd be a witch. Preferably one with healing powers, thanks very much.

If I can get some sort of a talking familiar (not a cat, maybe a bat or a snake or something) that'd be cool. The people will come from kilometres around to be healed by me.

I'd probably study the sciences.

I was never really much of a healer-type for a long time, but after my brief stint as World Of Warcraft raid healer I'd probably end up volunteering for something along those lines — at the very least a role with pinch healing capacity.

Maybe a paladin, but if I could score something as far out as a Golden Sun Venus Adept that would be awesome. I'd have way too much fun with sprouting plants everywhere.

edited 27th Aug '11 6:42:09 PM by Pykrete

Kilometres? Definitely a "Kitchen Sink".

This is a great thread. I say this because it has inspired me to write a Fantasy Kitchen Sink story with my Gentleman-Adventurer/werewolf in it.

edited 27th Aug '11 6:58:18 PM by Wolf1066

I feel odd describing things in miles because everything here is stated in kilometres. Even though a mile sounds more, I don't know, poetic or whatever, I have no sense of scale as to what a mile is.

Not that my sense of scale is very good at the best of times.

Well, the world I've got has the following races: (listed in order of how likely they are to try to eat you, least likely first)

• Humans ... duh? But they're pretty uninteresting, sadly, besides the magical bamboo technology for some of the nations.
• Elves Bamboo Technology is averted - they are as advanced as everyone else as far as technology and industry goes.
• Dwarves - "WE NEED MORE ARTILLERY" pretty well sums it up.
• Dark Elves which aren't really their own species but instead just Tainted*
  ^{Afflicted by the Cursed Lands, which cover 1/5 of the planet... This causes unusual changes.}
  elves, or sometimes they're actually humans. Always Chaotic Evil is averted here.
• Anything when it's Tainted may as well be another race entirely.
• Goblins Always Chaotic Evil is averted again.
• Orcs are almost extinct, Always Chaotic Evil is again averted.
• Dragons - intelligent, if a bit small at ~30kg usually.
• Gnoll are more monkey like, barely intelligent enough to use simple weapons but don't have what we'd consider "language" so may not count.
• Kraken qualify because of their extremely high intelligence, even though you'd be hard pressed to communicate with one. Your best method of communication with these is the Depth Charge.
• Daemons - the only Always Chaotic Evil thing here.

And a half a dozen more minor races that hardly show up at all.

Bur is this too off-topic?

edited 27th Aug '11 7:52:31 PM by Lessinath

OK, I'm already reconsidering the dragon-riding and the trained wolf but other than that, my werewolf "gentleman adventurer" in my very recently-started Fantasy Kitchen Sink is pretty much as described above.

There are many of a job I would take in a fantasy world. Some would include:

Scholar in the arts of the elerments: I enjoy study and magic. This will be a good path:)

Chancellor to a king: also known as "puppet master." >)

A potion merchent: lots of heroes going around the world fighting=CHING CHING!:D

A explorer of some type: special points if the story I would take part in is of comedy.

And the most noblist and funnist of options...

Necromancer.

Basically what Lessinath said. I've always been interested in the prospect of a technologically advanced fantasy world.

So, which one of those races will let me be an immortal superhuman sorcerer with a thousand slaves and a pet dragon, again?

Lich?

I'd just be human plus the ability to heal with my hands. Yay!

I'd be some kind of a magican in search of Immortality (preferably a variation where suicide is an option) and godhood.

edited 28th Aug '11 9:21:59 AM by Qeise

I can see myself as a cleric of some sort. That would be hardcore.

* burns loni jay for being a witch*

Well, in that case I think I'd just like to be immortal. I can worry about everything else later.

@pagad

The one question I cannot find a good answer for is why they developed this technology at all if they have magic.

I'll make a thread about it in Writer's Block shortly.

But hell, the Dwarves even have ICB Ms.

edited 28th Aug '11 11:54:51 AM by Lessinath

Dwarven Emperor Scientist! With a passion for science and Steampunk inventions!

Magitek and Sufficiently Analyzed Magic. The last fantasy setting I did had steampunk dwarves and near-on Space Opera Fair Folk. Doesn't mean that the less advanced races can't compete, after all. Magic is fickle like that.

Why are we establishing rules for this at all? It's a kitchen sink, everything goes. If someone wants to Sue themselves, we just ignore them.

Edit: Speak of the devil.

edited 28th Aug '11 12:02:23 PM by USAF713

If I could be anything (Warning: Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot borderline Sue ahead): A succubus who is eight feet tall, strong, insanely skilled at all forms of fighting, have supernatural powers like a high-intensity Glamour which gets more powerful when I am fighting and superhuman physical capabillites along with superhuman intelligence, have massive bat wings a la Morrigan, have the ability to turn others into succubi or incubi based on their inner desires, and be completely uninhibited in every way as well as being very strong willed and dominant (that last word can be taken in both Nudge Nudge and just me bossing people around). But since that's pretty much a Mary Sue, I guess it wouldn't be likely unless I threw in some weaknesses and flaws...so I guess I'd also go insane with power, believe A God Am I and then a bunch of meddling heroes who are probably tropers stop me when I try to Take Over the World, and I become a Sealed Evil in a Can or something.

...And while I'm dreaming, I want a pony.

But seriously, in a Fantasy Kitchen Sink, I'd probably be...something else less Sue-y. Maybe a Badass Normal?

Does anyone have any hints on writing a Fantasy Kitchen Sink setting? To stay on-topic, don't post here, please just PM me. Thanks :)

I was totally aware I was sue-ifying myself, and hence I made it a joke.

edited 28th Aug '11 2:14:35 PM by darkclaw

That's true, we can just ignore the Sues.

Shameless Plug

Except you, because you even joked about your sue-ness yourself. Considering the "kitchen sink" portion of the topic, I think that the only way we'd get off topic is by leaving the fantasy Genre. Confirm? Y/N?

edited 28th Aug '11 12:12:03 PM by Lessinath

To eleborate on being a werehyena,I would have the blood of royalty in me from a Amazonian werehyena Queen from the fact that sometimes werehyenas were taken during the slave trade.I would have a spear with mystical powers and I would also be an aspiring writer who hangs around a grand library like the one Negima Mahou Sensei.The library would be used for training my skills and for giving me inspiration for things to write.

edited 28th Aug '11 12:23:09 PM by joyflower

Psion.

I can only see magic as accelerating technological progress rather than retarding it. How much easier would it be to establish an advanced space programme if you can deal with most of the crippling expenses via magic, for example?

Agreed.