Greetings! Welcome to...well, you read the title, you know where you are. How does this work, you ask?
CAUTION READ THIS BEFORE POSTING.
Writers looking for critics, post a synopsis of your work here. At the bottom you will find a handy-dandy list of suggestions to use for this. Keep the actual synopsis short (two mid-size paragraphs max. Someone will be along to help you...if you hook their interest, that is. Also, be sure to include a blurb about you, the writer; personal info is neither required nor recommended. Instead, speak on your goals as a writer and how serious you are about this. By "serious" I mean, are you just a fan fic hobbyist looking for some pointers, or are you seriously considering a career as an author?
Critics; your job is even easier. All you have to do is read through the synopses until you find one that interests you. If and when you have, PM the author and tell them "I want to be your critic!" Further details (how to exchange works, what the writer wants, what the critic wants, etc. etc. etc.) I leave to individual pairings to figure out.
The point here is to help join authors and the editors who might love them in the bonds of unholy geekery, for the betterment of all our nascent works...and to cut down on the plethora of "hey, critique my work!" micro-threads Writer's Block was inundated with. Furthermore, posting large chunks of a potentially publishable work in the public domain can be unwise.
Da Roolz: Writers
- 1: Don't spam the thread. So far this has not been a problem as the Dating Service moves rather slowly. Let us continue this. Make your post and be patient; someone will be along to help you - and if nobody comes along, edit your post to make it more interesting.
- 2: Writers are not to PM critics unless a prior arrangement has been made. Critics decide whether or not they wish to read a writer's materal.
- 3: No posts other than synopses; I will be asking the mods to thump any post that doesn't conform to this criterium. Questions? PM me. If I'm not too wasted, I'll answer.
- 4: Keep your synopsis short; two midsize paragraphs at most. The goal here is to interest someone in your work, not tell them all about it.
- 5: Before put your work up for critiquing, run it through spell-check and give it a basic proofread. I've had two people complain to me about works where people did not do this, and that's a valid complaint. Yes, you are looking for help, but spell-check is a click away and it is not beyond the wit of writers to do a basic grammar scan. *
- 6: Don't expect gushing. Expect to hear about weaknesses in your work as well as strengths. If you are not ready for that emotionally, don't post here.
- 7: I would request that authors not delete their posts after they've gotten their help...just edit the post to say you've got all the help you need currently, and if that changes you can edit it back. People have asked me lots of questions about exactly what to put in their post...examples are good, particularly where the example can be seen as a successful one.
Da Roolz: Critics
- 1: Don't be a dick. If you cannot be direct and honest without being rude, don't volunteer as a critic. If somebody's work sucks, then it sucks...but by taking on the job of a critic you are volunteering to help the writer make their work not suck.
- 2: Don't overcommit. If you don't have the time, don't get a writer's hopes up by P Ming them and then never getting back to them. If your life situation changes and the free time you thought you had up and vanishes, be sure to let the writer know.
- 3: Don't post here (unless you have a synopsis, then by all means...you can swing both ways here, it's all right). Just lurk until something pops up that you like, and PM the author to let them know.
- 4: If it isn't working out, be sure to let the writer know you are going your separate ways - don't just drop off the planet.
- 5: Keep checking old posts! Writers who previously had all the help they needed might need help again.
It really is that easy.
Things to put in your synopsis
Make sure you give us:
- A basic idea of the genre.
- What it is (book, script, etc.).
- What kind of help you're looking for (technical, story-based, world-building, factual consultation, etc).
- How far along the work is. This is important. Some critics don't want to teach kindergarten.
- How serious you are - is this for fun, or something you hope to make money off of someday?
Also, include a nice little summary that both informs and titillates, somewhere between splash text and explanation.
Okay everyone, you know what to do. Start doin' it.
edited 22nd Sep '13 1:01:56 PM by drunkscriblerian
Name: Rhythmic Pretty Cure
Medium: Serial story
Genre: Magical Girl Warrior
Status: 4th episode/chapter/whatever
Synopsis: Stylistically inspired by Yes! Pretty Cure 5 and Smile Pretty Cure!, this story centers on another team of five Pretty Cures: Hitomi Ichinose, a teenage boy who's on his school's baseball team; Tsumugi Nikaido, a tomboyish karateka who's on the cheerleading squad for said baseball team (though she's simply in training during the first few episodes); Saeko Mitaka, a ballerina who's also skilled with the violin; Ana Yotsuya, an Idol Singer; and Itsuko Godai, with the demeanor of a Yamato Nadeshiko and the brains of an ace student. All five are students in the same rhythmic gymnastics class, and all five are sworn to protect the Realm of the Sun and the Moon, as well as their own world, from Unpleasant Dreams, Inc. and its all-female squad of commanders, the Nightmare Beauties, who wish to remake both worlds and, eventually, the universe, in the image of their boss, Cottonmouth the Terrible.
Concerns: Too many words? Too few words? Do you get to know the characters enough? Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera?
Thanks!
UPDATE: More episodes up
edited 24th Apr '15 4:36:14 AM by ryanasaurus0077
I'm not able to post actual links yet, but:
Story: Yugioh XL by 0bs1d1ankn1ght
type of work: fanfic/adventure/fantasy
summary: 20 years after the events of 5D's, a heist occurs at the Akamine House of cards. The CEO hires 5 duelists to track down and retrieve the missing cards.
What I'm looking for: is it enjoyable? Are my characters at least consistent most of the time?
SUPER POOPER SCOOPERS ARE JUST LEGENDEH!
Chapter 1 (Discontinued)
Links: https://www.fictionpress.com/s/3246246/1/The-Manglerfish
Synopsis: It has never been safe to enter the water. This warning does not only extend to the ocean, but down to the small creeks and rivers you and your family frequent. When you are with others, having a good time, these little creeks and rivers are harmless. The most dangerous thing being currents, leeches and the rogue broken bottle here and there. However, as you walk alone near the edge of these innocent streams, you will begin to find there are things looking back at you on the other side. Not minnows, not water bugs, not even frogs. There are things more dangerous than stingrays or alligators in the water. This is the story revolving around a teenager living in rural Montana, who discovered there was something horrible living in the creek next to his house, watching his family with eyes set to mangle, waiting for them to near its bait and give it's line a tug.
Name: The Creek Mangler/The Manglerfish
Medium: Short Story (13,000 words)
Genre: Creepypasta/Thriller
Status: Finished, Needs Critique
Concerns: Want to assure no Idiot Ball or Idiot Plot is occurring. I was wondering if keeping the narrator gender-neutral would allow easier immersion. Writer Synopsis: I want to creep people out with my stories, invoke emotions and past phobias/traumas. Go professional. The goal with this one is to make people uncomfortable around streams and other waist-high bodies of water, and invoke their hydrophobia.
edited 3rd Apr '15 2:41:16 PM by Aespai
Warning: This poster is known to the state of California to cause cancer. Cancer may not be available in your country.
Chapter 1 (Discontinued)
Link: https://www.fictionpress.com/s/3246590/1/Cervocephalus
Synopsis: There have been many disappearances and vehicular deaths on Route 2 outside of Kalispell, Montana. Many are attributed to drinking and driving accidents. As a young sheriff-in-training soon discovers, these alleged drinking and driving accidents were fictional, put up to hide what truly killed them, and what hunts him now. A gargantuan creature known as "The Deer Devil on Route 2."
Name: Cervocephalus
Medium: Short Story (7,500 words)
Genre: Creepypasta/Horror
Status: Finished, Needs Critique/Alpha Readers
Concerns: Need somebody to read it. That's it.
Warning: This poster is known to the state of California to cause cancer. Cancer may not be available in your country.
Title: Plunder (Tentative Title)
Genre: Furry Comic, Medieval Fantasy, B-Movie
Medium: Webcomic
Rating: R (For blood and gore, and sexual scenes)
Synopsis: There is a palace that belongs to the warrior god Crims. If one enters the palace and wins a battle against the god, his wish of power is granted, but at the cost of his body’s control. Azur is the only man (or ox) to have won his fight, and now he has control over every army. To prove his iron fist, he sends the armies to destroy towns and kills everybody and start the world over again in his image. One of those countries is Vermillio, where the main character Khaki, a little cat boy lives. In the process, his father is killed in the massacre, leaving only Khaki and his mother Oliv to be alone. Oliv teaches his son how to fight just like his father. Years later, Khaki grows up to be an adult warrior and wins in battles without effort. Even destroying enchanted dolls that transform into monsters. He decides to venture to Crims’ Palace and restore everything. On the way, he encounters an Archer named Amaranth, Beige, a wizard who changed his physical appearance to a little boy, to hide from Azur who was his student, and two travelers named Teal and Maroon who have an unquenchable libido and wants to meet a female of every species.
tl;dr I always describe this as Conan with Furries
How far the work is: The outline is completed, the scripting process has barely started.
How serious I am: This is being made, because I want to get the feeling of making a webcomic. I do want to go into the storytelling medium (movies, tv, comics, and video games). But this isn't my magnum opus.
What I need help on:
- The pacing. I don't want this to last 10 years, but at the same time, I don't want to rush things
- Avoiding Mary Sues
- Character personalities, I don't want them to be too boring, and I want them to be well established.
- Do I go too far with the gore/sex?
Edit: I don't want to put the link here to the rest of the synopsys here, because of the content. I'll only give it to the critic who wants to critique me. (If I ever get one)
edited 10th Jun '15 6:01:05 PM by DokemonStudios
A Lyoko Brony
Link: https://www.dropbox.com/s/rawi4n85ib9tjje/Talent.docx?dl=0
Title: Talent
Genre: Novel, Futuristic dystopia sci-fi action-adventure romance (warning: Lesbian/Gay theming is imminent.)
Rating: PGish (might change because of how risque the topic of gay couples may come across)
General Synopsis: In a world that has come up from the ashes of the USA after a war, supernatural powers arise to the citizens of the new world called Psioncia, making them Talents or Talent Individuals. Life is somewhat peaceful. However, there are those who have no powers, and those are called Tricks. They can't be alone unless they want to become victim to the Psyches. Trick Sitters are hired to protect them in case their housemates have to be at work. In the heart of the story is one such Trick—A girl named Aerona.
Aerona is a girl who dreams of one day getting a job (called a Sector). She lives with her housemate Julian, a psychic girl. However, when she realizes her Talent at a Center (hospital) (A, not J), she has not one, but three. If that's not enough, she has become a Chimera by default. If she wishes to live, she and her friends must band together to the Sphere (government).
TLDR: MLP (minus ponies) meets Divergent/Hunger Games/Matched.
How far? I am in the beginning/mid pointish at the moment.
How serious: I want to make it a novel one day.
Help:
- Grammar/Spelling
- Pace
- Characterization (Make it slightly real)
- Flow
- Continuity
- Avoiding any Mary Sues (Make sure I have made good flaws for each character)
- Criticism
edited 21st Apr '15 1:29:01 PM by Teenlyokofan7777
Co-author of Code Wings 3.0. Also... I'M RUNNING FOR THE RIVER!!
Divine Burden
Link : https://www.fictionpress.com/s/3247714/1/Tale-of-the-Red-Blade
Synopsis : The story takes place in 2025, mostly in the fictional city of Felicia. After a major discovery, technology progressed and the town of Felicia is the symbol of the new technology. A terrorist group, named the "Enfant de la pureté", however, led by a uncharismatic leader, wants to tear the entire city down for a cause they don't remember. Deathstar the Dreaded, a young woman in search of a destiny, will have to survive in this chaotic place, full of various flying sea animals and armored jerks, while finding her calling in life. And it's going to be though, since she spent her entire childhood nearly alone.
Genre : Adventure, Humor. It's mostly like a weird shonen set in the future.
Rating : M. There is blood and violence, although it'll become really prominent during the next chapters. The characters are also incredibly foul-mouthed and always insult each others in a violent way, sometimes casually.
Name : Tale of the Red Blade
Medium : Fanfic.
How far : Two chapters in.
Help : Punctuation.
A general advice on the character of Deathstar, does she really looks like someone who spent her entire life alone with only her parents and movies to teach her how to interact ?
Grammar
The presence of flying sea animals though the whole deal. Is it weird or does it fit in with the bizarre context of the fic ?
edited 21st Apr '15 1:12:23 PM by Bolded1
Fallout 2? More like Fallout 2 bad.
Who Am I?
Give me a couple of weeks and I'll have some time to get to some of you guys. End of semester and all of that.
"We learn from history that we do not learn from history."
Reproduction is not the meaning of life.
[Oops]
edited 24th Apr '15 3:00:41 PM by Dimentiosome
Also HOLY FaCKING SHeT!!!!!!!
Fantasy writer turned Filmmaker.
I'd just like to remind potential critics of Rule Number 3 (both of them), at the top of each page in this thread:
I know I'm breaking the same rule by reminding about it, but in this case I think it's worth doing.
Award-winning screenwriter. Directed some movies. Trying to earn a Creator page. I do feedback here.
I'd like some help, please.
Synopsis: JD (the hero) is photographing his local church for an article in the local paper (he's having a bit of a rough time - there haven't been many job offers, and he needs to do SOMETHING to pay the bills) and he talks to the vicar (who happens to be a friend of his) about angels. Later, after he's been invited to the pub, he's on his way home when there's an unexpected eclipse of the moon, and when it's over time has frozen for everyone except him. Then he sees an angel (whom he later names Margarite) fall from the sky, followed by the demon she's been fighting. He helps her in the fight, then she kisses him in thanks before running off, losing her rosary as she does. When JD gets home, he sees his girlfriend with another man, and to make matters worse, she's dumped his stuff outside the apartment and changed the locks. As he wanders the street, he enters a nearby church, admits his troubles with his work, life and girlfriend to one of the angel statues, and jokingly states that he'd like an angel for a girlfriend, since he's heard good things about them. Later, he helps out an old woman, and she allows him to stay in her home for the night (I'm thinking about having her sign the lease over to him eventually because she's moving abroad to be with her family. Or maybe I'm just gonna have JD stay at his friend's place for a while (the friend's going out of town on business, so he asks JD to look after his apartment) instead of a strangely generous old lady giving him her house). Then he meets Margarite again, and returns her rosary to her. She thanks him, then reveals that she is an angel and tells him what's going on - it seems that after intervening in the fight between Margarite and the demon, JD had his soul stolen, which is causing him to have excruciating headaches (or at least extremely bad luck - I haven't quite decided). Appararently, there's been a lot of strange incidents occurring lately, and it's because of demons that have escaped from Hell. The Council of Angels has sent Margarite to Earth to reseal the demons, and she asks JD to help her in this mission. He agrees, and as an angel's kiss is the only thing that will get rid of his problem (for a while, at least), they decide to have her pose as his girlfriend while on Earth. Also, Maragrite feels responsible for JD losing his soul (after all, he WAS trying to help her), so she agrees to help him regain it (how, I still haven't figured out - either by sending all the demons back to Hell, or by becoming powerful enough to do so). And I think Margarite may or may not be injured when he finds her - I haven't decided. Or maybe he meets her when the demon attacks him, and she intervenes.
Name: Undecided, but I'm thinking about calling it 'Undercover Angel', or maybe 'Heaven Sent'.
Medium: HOPEFULLY a novel - maybe even a series, or at least a trilogy.
Genre: Magical Girlfriend (but Margarite's gonna get just as much screentime, and it's gonna have some drama and action as well).
Status: Haven't even started it, except for this part: Night had fallen, yet the city below showed no sign of settling down to sleep. Honks and beeps filled the air, mingling with the sound of loud music blaring from car stereos and the occasional screeching of tyres. A group of businessmen emerged from their office building and made their way to the nearest bar, while a pizza delivery boy on a motor-scooter overtook a car full of giggling women who were in the early stages of a hen night. Streetlamps slowly flickered into life, and unseen by the people below, a figure glided past the moon and landed noiselessly on the roof of the old church.
Folding back her wings, she raised a delicate hand and idly fingered the silver rosary that hung round her neck as she surveyed the streets below. Had someone been watching her, they might have mistaken her for a statue. If they'd looked closer, however, they would've noticed the intensity of her stare. Her gaze darted from person to person, occasionally lingering on
Help: EVERYTHING - plot (the stuff under Synopsis is just the basic overview of what's gonna happen), writing, characters, etc. So far, this is what I have for the main characters:
- JD, the hero who has just been kicked out of his apartment by his girlfriend (who was also cheating on him). He meets an angel, and becomes her boyfriend as he helps her fight demons. He is a freelance photographer - not an uber-rich and famous one, but he DOES make enough to live on.
- Margarite, an angel who has come to Earth to fight demons and find the missing God. She moves in with JD and poses as his girlfriend, but slowly starts falling him love with him for real. She was named by JD, wears silver sandals and a silver rosary, and uses a rapier to fight (she just pulls off her rosary and it turns into a rapier). As an angel, she has one pair of wings
And here's come other stuff:
- Angels are the Big Good of existence (in fact, the Council of Angels has been running Heaven ever since God disappeared), and they have wings made out of light. There are 5 levels of angels (in order - Angel, Archangel, Cherubium, Orphanim and Seraphim) and the higher the level, the more wings they have - they can also become higher level. They're capable of summoning weapons, and are nameless until they reach Cherubium level. They're not overly Christian, but the ones on Earth like to attend church whenever possible - the type of church doesn't matter (Methodist, Catholic, Anglican), but they do think it's good to attend.
So, anyone interested?
edited 12th May '15 2:26:19 PM by fruitstripegum
Who Am I?
OK, I'm back. Anyone posting since April 2nd who still hasn't gotten any assistance, PM me.
"We learn from history that we do not learn from history."
Name: Tammy the Neutral
Medium: Script
Genre: Fantasy
Length: 80 pages
Status: First draft
Summary: Tamara is a powerful witch, but her only desire is to live a quiet life in relative solitude. The kingdom in which she resides is currently in a grand power struggle between good and evil. Both sides, good and evil, desperately want to recruit Tamara — and her formidable powers — in order to gain a decisive advantage over the other side, and will stop at nothing to do so.
Concerns: I really struggled with this one. It contains several extended action scenes — a weakness of mine. Moreover, the fantasy genre really isn't my bailiwick. I'm out of my element here, so I'm hoping I can take advantage of the whole fantasy/speculative fiction bent of this forum.
Overall, the script feels a little light to me; I'm looking to beef it up a bit.
Also, thoughts on exposition? Character motivations (protagonist or otherwise)? Clarity and flow of the action sequences? Entertainment in general?
Name: (not yet decided)
Genre: Fantasy and fairytale-ish? I'm not sure how to describe it.
Rating: PG (Think early Harry Potter)
Short synopsis: We have a little girl who is a member of the Order of Wizardry, a faction of mages who happen to be obsessed with the ideology of sharing and being equal. One day, she wanders off and comes across a strange amulet, which, as she discovers, contains a seemingly friendly spirit of a talking owl. Throughout the story, this owl tries to make the girl question the ideology of her Order and start going against it. What she doesn't know is that there is a dark secret behind this owl...
How far the work is: I'm still trying to piece together a complete concept of the overall story before I actually start writing it. The current version of the concept is about 3 pages long.
How serious I am: While I don't have much hopes for that, I want to try making it something publishable.
What I need help with:
- Checking if there are no general or storytelling problems with the concept as it is now.
- Both the owl and the Order are meant to represent two extremes and neither is meant to be more right or wrong than the other, therefore neither becoming the bad guy. I need an opinion on whether this balance is achieved.
- Just about any suggestions on enhancing the story.
edited 13th Dec '15 10:32:45 AM by ZuTheSkunk
Type of story: Comic script; Sort of fantasy, but no fighting, bishounen/BL focus. Character focused.
\\
Direct synopsis:
A young man named Evren grew up in the royal capital of his country [which I haven't named yet], raised by his aunt, believing himself to be ordinary. The country is mostly governed by its parliament, but the royals still serves an important role performing elaborate magic rituals that support the country. One day, his aunt takes him to the royal palace, and he ends up being chosen by a magic device that fuses to him in the form of a bracelet. He never knew, but he's actually a prince, and now he must learn to perform magic rituals that only he can do.
He meets the original heir, Prince Adrien, who was rejected by the bracelet, but never wanted it. They bond over their love for a type of traditional music, and fall in love. He has tutors for the various things he needs to know, including a young high priest who feels responsible for making sure Evren is able to do his job properly, and ends up being tight-wound and strict because of it. He and Adrien used to be friends, but he is one of many who dislikes Adrien for not being the type of person they wanted him to be. He's also insecure/ feeling pressure because of how young he is for his position. The main focus of the story is the three of them growing to understand each other and improve themselves.
The real point of this is "pretty boys in pretty clothes doing pretty magic in pretty palaces", but I want the story to hold together as well. I'm pretty serious about this. But I'm not trying to make a story about politics or fighting. If you want to tell me it needs politics or fighting, please don't. I'm also thinking about how to make the rituals and the traditional music style (which is pretty important) feel more real.
(fyi: Evren and Adrien aren't very closely related, and there aren't any issues with same-sex pairings in that culture, so there aren't any issues of taboos with their relationship. Only Evren's initial dislike of Adrien, and Adrien's reputation.)
edited 16th Feb '16 6:18:35 AM by lavendermintrose
I made this Idolized Julius Kingsley icon back when Akito first came out, and now that the crossover is actually happening, I don't care.
Name: No Trouble
Genre: Cyberpunk
Completion: Half way finished
How serious I am: I am interested in getting stories in this original universe published. This work is something of a rough draft.
Synopsis: Berlin in 2085 is a nightmare. Murder, corruption, and exploitation blight the city. The slums, already choking under the misery of poverty and suffering from societal decay, are on the edge of collapse. A new drug has flooded the streets, spreading chaos in its wake. Hot on its heels come the grasping hands of greedy crime lords and shadowy cults. With the Neukölln district on the precipice, a small group of friends gather together to put an end the insanity and bring the city back to its feet. Can they succeed?
What I need help with: I need someone to critique the flow of the story and advice on how to build believable dialogue. I also want advice on how to build up the character's; I want to make sure they look and sound like real people, not strawmen or caricatures.
Story link: https://www.booksie.com/posting/raja302/no-trouble-458264
Fantasy writer turned Filmmaker.
UPDATE: This project is finished. However, I have other projects that need critiques. Check the later pages for descriptions.
This is gonna be a little weird, but I'm doing a bunch of short films this year, so looking for critiques as they're written.
Genre: Any. Mix of things that could happen in the real world. Slight bend toward lowkey sci-fi, maybe fantasy and horror...
Type: Short film screenplay.
Need help with: Depends on the script. Could be brevity, characterization, story arc, who knows.
Completion: Rolling release. Each script will be complete and self-contained.
Seriousness: I'm doing 20 this year to go up on YouTube, so... Pretty serious?
edited 31st Jul '17 9:59:06 PM by AwSamWeston
Award-winning screenwriter. Directed some movies. Trying to earn a Creator page. I do feedback here.
Who Am I?
Can you link us when you post the first one?
"We learn from history that we do not learn from history."
"Team Ken, baby"
Does anyone want to read my radio manuscript real quick? It's a 30 second thing I'm supposed to be doing for Media Studies. It's like a Seinfeldian Conversation thing with no context?
Please help me make it not crap.
Stand up against pinkwashing, don't fall for propoganda
Queen of the Snakes
Title: 24 DS
Genre: Fantasy/anime
Type: Book
Help: Any and all.
How Far Along: 5 Chapters (I hit Writer's Block at Chapter 5.)
Seriousness: Very. I plan on posting it on Deviant Art.
Synopsis: Tedrick has powers over lightning, given to him by a powerful dragon from another dimension. Though raised to be a weapon, he has chosen to abandon his original purpose and protect our world. For the last four months, that was all he ever did. Alone. But then he met Ren, a boy with powers over metal, and learned that he was not the only one. And that there is more to being free than just doing as you please.
Link: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Literature/TwentyFourDS
edited 10th Oct '16 1:17:09 PM by Sugarp1e1
Ryoko.
Greetings, all, you've probably seen me around a bit. What I have for you is a character drama novella-thing set in a Science Fantasy world that follows the backstory of a particular secondary character of mine. I'm not looking to publish within the foreseeable future, and especially not this story- it may just be for practice, but I'd rather it not be just a bunch of jumbled garbage. I've gotten about three chapters written, but these are beefy chapters, and the story is currently on its third draft.
One of the last great mysteries of this world is the Rivari, an immortal, extremely magical Servant Race that has shared the world with humans since time immemorial. The Pseudo-Retirement of a Painted Servant follows a prideful Rivari man who's been plunged into a side of Rivari life that he didn't know existed, and the aftermath that drives him to forge his own path as he reconsiders what it means to be what he is.
What I'm looking for is a beta-reader (or a few), someone who's cool with me sending them a chapter every so often and giving general impressions and comments on the GDocs. And by 'every so often', I mean it- I have a job and I'm finishing a degree, so you might get a chapter once a month at the absolute fastest. I need help with execution, making sure the words are conveying what I want. I'd like to hear impressions of the events, and how the characters come across to you. I want to know how you feel as you read, what interests you, and what information comes across in the text.
I've already posted the first chapter to the Constructive Criticism thread and made a number of tweaks to it since then, so I may as well repost the link here. Check it out, and if you're interested in seeing more, drop me a PM and I'll get you the link to the folder. I'm also open to a 'you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours' arrangement if you have something you'd like read. (Please no fanfiction [even if its parent work is something I've indicated I like on my Troper page], erotica/pornographic writing, or heavily Animesque works.)
edited 22nd Feb '17 6:46:51 PM by CrystalGlacia
"Jack, you have debauched my sloth."
Virile Member
Title: TBD. First chapter is entitled "Machiavelli's The Student". Chapter 2 entitled "The Talk".
Genre: psychological/paranormal/LGBTQ/romance/Rational Fic / Lit Fic/... Yeah, its that kind of work.
Type: novel
How far along: one chapter, 15 (A4) pages, second one coming along. Plot is mapped to the end of the book and beyond.
Seriousness: I intend to post it as Web Fiction once my reviewers are satisfied. This project has been years in the making and means a lot to me.
Synopsis: This the synopsis I posted on the Constructive criticism thread (BTW, thanks again to everyone who gave me feedback there):
- Grammar and idioms. English isn't my native language, and I keep obsessing about these things when I write. No-one in the Constructive Criticism thread seemed to have anything to say about it, though, so it might not be such an issue after all.
- Sentences that are (involuntarily) ambiguous, or unambiguous but too hard to understand. This was the number one complaint I received. Also, relatedly, people complained that they couldn't see some of the elements outlined in the synopsis in the actual text.
- If you're up to it, I'll ask some questions about the main characters to see if they give off the right "vibe" for the reader to pick up.
Please PM me if you're interested
edited 12th Aug '16 11:53:44 AM by InigoMontoya
"Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast, for it is the number of a man; and his number is 0x29a."
MIA
name: Kaiego: keepers of nature (pronounced kai+ego)
genre: fantasy/magical boy
medium: script/prose hybrid
rating: for kids ages 10-13+
synopsis: John tells of the tale of how he became a Kaiego warrior.
main concerns:
- i'm a bit worried that my work might contain a few cliches here and there.
- grammer
- introducing the story
- developing my characters and to see of their likeable or not.
- structure
link: http://sta.sh/0yfv59hxft5
edited 17th Sep '16 6:04:27 PM by ewolf2015
MIA
Fantasy writer turned Filmmaker.
UPDATE 3/25/2017: The script is about as finished as it can be, so I'm not seeking help here anymore. Thanks to everyone who expressed interest in the project.
UPDATE 7/31/2017: I have another script in the works if you'd like to help out there.
Nearly two years in the making...
Title: Our Wizard
Genre: Low Fantasy with a dash of sci-fi.
Type: Feature-length screenplay.
How Far: Complete. 93 pages. Making tweaks based on feedback.
Seriousness: Well, I want to get the Kickstarter going in time to direct it somewhere between May and August, so... Pretty frickin' serious.
Synopsis:
As always, shoot me a PM if you're interested!
(And no, ![[down]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/smiles/arrow_down.png "[down]"){kind=icon}
I was not aware of Erfworld. No influence here.)
edited 31st Jul '17 10:01:02 PM by AwSamWeston
Award-winning screenwriter. Directed some movies. Trying to earn a Creator page. I do feedback here.
I'm...not sure, sorry? This short one ends on a funny note, but otherwise, uh...The full version, if it ever comes around, would be my attempt to write a superhero-type story that is fairly optimistic. Bad things happen, but on the other hand, having powers is awesome! That kind of thing...
The last thing you hear before an unstoppable juggernaut bisects you with a minigun.