The strangest thing you've said today...

From a few days ago: "I had almost given up on being a karate guy punching paper cups and lightbulbs and rocks and stuff"

"Am I supposed to say 'WOW!' while doing a cartwheel?"

A failed attempt of translating a local meme into English in response to a friend's bad joke. Keep in mind at that time I was sleep deprived.

"Aaawwww, he's being territorial and showing him his hunting prowess!"

My previous strange thing has been trumped by the follow strange thing:

"I have a moosetache. A delicious red moosetache that I eat. Rawr."

"Don't forget, this guy's fifteen years old"

"Post-Noughties sounds like Sexual deviants in the mail service"

Politics gets weird sometimes

"Yep, premium ejaculation of stupid."

edited 7th Nov '12 2:02:26 PM by UmLovely

I just referred to the AI in an online game as an "Infralapsarian son of a clown."

I think I got it out of the Devil's Dictionary.

"I'm gonna beat you up with this moose!"

I was playfully hitting my dog with his stuffed moose toy

"That rule applies to both genitals and sausages."

My mom and I decided that if it's under 4 inches it's a 'weenie' and any more than that makes it a 'wiener.'

"Mom look. Stop watching rat porn! Mom!"

I was trying to show my mother something but she was more interested in watching our rats engage in questionable activities. The above comment ensued.

edited 8th Nov '12 10:06:52 PM by Superkim111

edited 9th Nov '12 8:27:34 PM by Leradny

"Oh my God, it's turning into The Wizard Of Oz. With naked women and exploding heads."

"My eyes are bigger than my brain"

I was talking about an occasional tendency to pick up Doorstoppers and never finish them - it sounds kind of odd to say that your eyes are bigger than your stomach when you're talking about non-edible things, so I switched "stomach" with the organ you digest literature with

"Ahh yes, cocaine. Sherlock Homes was a fan. Oddly enough, so was Robert Downey Jr. COINCIDENCE?!"

this stemmed from talking about anime, to kids and pedos on Habbo Hotel, to books, to writing, to mad writers, to 19th century drug use.

edited 11th Nov '12 2:45:40 AM by MrMallard

"Indeed. And you get to explode people without getting arrested."

My mother: "Where would you be without me?"

Me: "Uhh.... Non-existent."

Not the strangest thing, but, eh. I've been at home all of today

edited 11th Nov '12 12:22:58 PM by Olivetree

"I have a cult now. You've seen stranger things. Carry on."

When asked why are a couple of juniors tailing me all day long.

Sorry it's just something that I randomly started thinking of while walking my dog avoiding a guy that I think wants me for his boyfriend and carrying a large branch.

Another videogame-related one:

(to a trainer in Byron's gym)
"That's a Water-type, you garden gnome."

I have no clue why videogame NPC's make me invent insults that don't make sense.

"You shall be known as...Darth Crispy Critter."

watching Anakin get burned in Revenge of the Sith

"Nuclear power for the poor!"

"Ah, traffic lights. The great equalizers."

"Don't worry, I'm sure it'll come back to me when I can't do anything about it."

"There's a circle for everything. Even the Triangle lovers. But they'd prefer their group to be called the Triangle Lover's triangle. They also keep a viscous membership count, must be in multiples of three so they can split into three even groups."

That made up stuff was spawned (not exactly as put) when my mother commented on how she didn't know there was a French Circle in Dorset

You don't like Kai? Fluttershy's life is a living hell and you don't like a cute little insane sniper?

edited 13th Nov '12 3:11:22 PM by HeroShepherd