Hello, I'm Mr Mallard. I'm an on-again off-again troper, and any other description would fail to be relevant after a certain amount of months.
- Author Tract: I hate misinformation of all kinds, accidental or deliberate. This is why I hate 50 Shades Of Gray - they FUCK UP BDSM. If someone fucks up BDSM in real life, someone is going to get scarred physically and mentally. Even poorly written smut is bearable if it's at least accurate to its depiction of fucking - 50 Shades spreads an incorrect idea of BDSM, and in the hands of an idiot, a woman (or man) looking for a Christian Gray will get that and more. If something is written as if the author knows everything about it, but in reality they know fuck all about it, it pisses me off to an insane degree.
- Apologizes a Lot: Sometimes for a good reason, but most of the time it's not.
- Attention Deficit Creator Disorder: One of my defining traits - once I start a new project, it's highly unlikely that it'll ever get finished.
- I own an orphaned Queen liveblog.
- I was within a hair's breadth of not completing Komm Susser Tod: Ascended due to lack of enthusiasm, and I think the quality suffered due to me rushing the project out the door.
- I once left a fanfiction hanging for over a year, and posted it in it's incomplete status during a Heroic BSOD.
- I've frequently left other fanfiction hanging due to feelings of inadequacy - a lot of my early writing is barely legible trash, but I've left at least one really good story in limbo.
- Cloud Cuckoo Lander: I think about some weird shit.
- Fan Wank: One of my favorite pastimes is writing away perceived plot holes etc. - sometimes to a ridiculous degree.
- Hype Aversion: I do NOT like being told what to play, watch or consume in any way.
- Loners Are Freaks: I was a really nasty case when I entered high school. After 6 - 7 years of bullying for a reason I couldn't place, I decided I just wanted to be left alone during high school. So, I decided to stab whoever dared to piss me off with whatever I had on me at the time, which was usually a pen. I even made a shiv out of an empty pen chamber and the shattered top of another pen, but it got taken off me when I pulled it on someone.
- Loony Fan: When I like something enough, it'll be all that I talk about for possibly weeks on end. El Goonish Shive, as a work I leave and come back to a lot, gets this treatment more than other works.
- Memetic Mutation: A few years back, it was an open joke to sing "Happy Birthday" to me as often as possible. Whenever things were sufficiently boring, someone would usually say "What's that [school nickname], it's ya birthday!?", causing the whole class to break out in song. Surprisingly not as fun as it sounds: I still haven't gotten my excitement for birthdays back.
- No Social Skills: Down to a T.
- Not Good with People: A little of both types, except... not really friends to anything. Luckily, I've been given a slightly warped version of the Kimi ni Todoke treatment, so I fit in a little better.
- Squick: I don't mind squick sometimes.
Stuff I've Completed
- The Darkness
- Making lists of things I like
Recommended Personal Links
Other Recommended Links
- "There are no indigenous people on the moon." - Madrugada
- "It's a sticky cycle of randomness and porn. Like a Katamari of smut." - Geth Knight
- One day, House was walk into his House. "It is good to have House House!" say House, as he walk into House House.
VANDALISM GOES HERE BECAUSE THERE HAS BEEN A CHANGE IN REGULATIONS