What An Idiot / Sonic for Hire

A lot of the conflict in the series has to do with the cast's idiocy and incompetence to really do anything.

• Season 1
  • Sonic is broke and Tails tries to find a couple of jobs for Sonic.
    You'd Expect: Tails to give Sonic some respectable jobs.
    Instead: Per the nature of the series, Tails ends up giving Sonic really crappy jobs (for the first part anyway) that he ends up hating. Sonic's poor attention span doesn't help much anyway.
    Result: Sonic ends up screwing up a lot of jobs due to that.
  • Tails finds a boxing gig for Sonic against Mike Tyson.
    You'd Expect: Tails to bet for Sonic to win to keep his hopes up.
    Instead: Tails ends up betting against Sonic, and once Sonic gets word on this, he loses his focus and gets the crap beaten out of him by Mike Tyson.
    Result: Sonic gets a lot of money, but he only has enough to buy a new frame for his poster (which gets Tails to call him a stupid fuck).
  • Earthworm Jim asks Sonic to watch his suit and guard it from a goldfish.
    You'd Expect: Sonic to take the job seriously for some money, considering he's actually a nice guy and not some Jerkass like Eggman.
    Instead: Sonic ends up killing the goldfish and stealing the suit (which he doesn't even like anyway). He also steals his TV too.
    Result: Earthworm Jim becomes enemies with Sonic, and this bites him in the Tetris episode. Thankfully in Season 2 he's calmed down quite a bit.
  • Sonic becomes Mother Brain's escort for the weekend.
    You'd Expect: Sonic to not do anything too crazy, as he should only be in it for the money.
    Instead: Sonic ends up getting drunk and having sex with Mother Brain.
    Result: Mother Brain quickly reproduces their alien daughter, Soniqua. It's only a good thing she ends up being useful later on.

• Season 2
  • Mario tasks Sonic with killing the Double Dragon brothers after the hedgehog has been doing good so far. He brings Eggman and Earthworm Jim to help him with this. However, they prove to be too much for the two.
    You'd Expect: Sonic to just shoot the two brothers in the face. He's done it to numerous characters, so why not make things different.
    Or: Sonic to call forth Soniqua to tear both of them apart in case if he didn't want to get his hands dirty.
    Instead: Sonic says he should've just brought Soniqua and leaves with one of the grunts. He doesn't even return with Soniqua.
    Result: Mario gets mad at Sonic for messing up the job. He would've killed Sonic right there too but says he'd give him another chance, leading to the example below.
  • Mario sends Luigi to keep an eye on Sonic to ensure that Sonic doesn't mess up like he did with the Double Dragon brothers. Luigi watches Sonic with Frogger.
    You'd Expect: Luigi to actually take his job seriously. Even Sonic, who usually doesn't give a crap about most jobs, is focused on killing Frogger.
    Instead: Luigi, wondering if Frogger is a psychedelic frog, licks it. Keep in mind they are right next to the street with moving traffic.
    Result: Luigi goes on an acid trip, proclaims he's on top of the world, and runs in front of traffic. Too Dumb to Live indeed. Frogger, who is Suddenly Voiced, taunts Sonic, telling him he's fucked.
    You'd Then Expect: Sonic to kill Frogger, as he's right there. Sonic could've brought that to Mario as proof of his kill and still keep up with the charade of a dead Luigi.
    Instead: Sonic ignores him and leaves the scene.
    Result: While Sonic and Tails are picking up TNT Barrels, Frogger decides to somehow tell Mario about what happened, resulting him in angrily encountering Sonic on their errand and threatens to kill him.

• Season 3
  • Sonic finds out from Princess Potato that Mario was planning on robbing Casino Zone.
    You'd Expect: Sonic, Tails, or Eggman to figure out at some point that the main currency are rings, which apparently aren't worth anything to the other characters.
    Instead: At no point do the three realize that rings don't have a good exchange rate at all. They still continue their heist (pretty easily surprisingly).
    Result: Once Tails brings up the fact that there are indeed rings, Earthworm Jim and Kirby get pissed as rings are supposedly worthless. Eggman admits it being a dick move on his part.
  • Sonic and Co. play Tecmo Bowl and he put a huge bet on his team to lose so they could get a lot of money.
    You'd Expect: Sonic and the team to Do Well, But Not Perfect and lose by a few points so it doesn't look suspicious and they could still get their fix.
    Instead: Sonic, being a complete idiot, decides to play at his absolute best, and scores a ton of touchdowns to the point where the opposing team has absolutely no points.
    Thankfully: Tails gets Thunderhead to ride on a tank and interrupt the game, disqualifying their team and getting the money anyway due to losing.

• Season 4
  • Sonic and Thunderhead accidentally stumble into a Final Fantasy battle. Thunderhead manages to kill a monster by summoning and impresses the fighting party members, who offer to let Thunderhead and Sonic live like kings.
    You'd Expect: Sonic and Thunderhead to take the offer.
    Instead: Thunderhead uses his dragon to kill the party members too, with the justification that he wouldn't be able to share his "ass wine" with them.
    Result: They lost another opportunity and Sonic is understandably pissed.

• Season 5
  • Sonic and Co. assist a Terran base as they're shorthanded. Eggman runs to a Zerg base, which they end up assimilating his DNA. He calls Sonic over, who then calls Earthworm Jim and the Terran Marine over. They prevent Tails from coming. The Marine tells him to hold up a wall.
    You'd Expect: Tails to suspect that something is up and he should go look for them, realizing that he has been had.
    Instead: Tails just stays there. For a long while.
    Result: Tails is left out of a Eggman-Zerg party, which ends up being annoying for Sonic anyway.

• Season 6
  • Princess Potato revives Mario by going back in time, and he's all in for revenge against Sonic. He hires Boba Fett, Ghost Rider, and Dog the Bounty Hunter to go find Sonic and bring the hedgehog over to him alive. They then go to his mansion and ring the doorbell. Sonic nervously denies that he's Sonic and says that Eggman is Sonic instead.
    You'd Expect: The three to notice that Sonic called Eggman by his name and that the blue hedgehog is indeed Sonic. Mario even described him as a "blue rat" to him, and of everyone there, Sonic fits the bill.
    Instead: Sonic blatantly says that Eggman is "their Sonic" and the three beat up on Eggman.
    Result: Earthworm Jim disintegrates the three bounty hunters, making them aware that Mario is hiring goons to kill Sonic for revenge.
  • Later, Sonic and Co try to find someone on their own to defend him from Mario. They find the Avengers, but little do they know, Mario already got to them first and got them to bring Sonic to him. They end up kidnapping Sonic, leaving Hawkeye behind.
    You'd Expect: Tails, Eggman and Earthworm Jim to chase the Avengers.
    Instead: The three don't do shit, just ask where they're taking him, with Hawkeye basically going "who cares", with Eggman insulting him by saying he's the Aqua Man of the group.
    Result: The Avengers are successful in taking Mario to Sonic, who then kills him without saying a word.
  • Tails, Eggman, and Earthworm Jim end up becoming far more incompetent from here. They're shown lounging at Sonic's mansion, clearly aware that Sonic has been missing for a while.
    You'd Expect: Them to immediately hunt Mario down at his office, considering that Tails has personally been there before.
    Instead: They still end up not doing shit ... until they decide to bring a literal bag of flaming dog shit to his mansion as a prank. Sonic's also been long dead at the time too, with Mario even desecrating his corpse to add insult to injury.
    Result: Soniqua ends up being the only one to do anything about it, but she's stopped by Mario. The flaming bag of dog poop ends up burning his office down. Unfortunately, the Epoch was inside of that office, requiring the three to get some time machines from Lucca so they can save Sonic from getting killed by Mario, which leads to the moment below.
  • Tails thinks it's a good idea to just use one of the time machines, as traveling through different points in time could screw the future up significantly.
    You'd Expect: The three to actually agree, considering the idiocy of Eggman. Additionally, one of them could travel in time to save Sonic from Mario.
    Instead: They end up traveling to different time periods and didn't even bother to save Sonic.
    Result: Things get weird when it alters all of their bodies: Tails is elongated, Eggman is a baby, and Earthworm Jim becomes a Yoshi. Sonic only survived because the timeline got screwed up to where Mario became a chicken farmer instead of a ruthless mob boss. However, the space time continuum becomes unstable, turning Sonic's mansion back into his apartment and the hedgehog into Wario.
  • Tails suggests another plan to fix the Temporal Paradox - redo all of their adventures since the first episode and it should reset everything back to normal. They manage to recreate their attempts at first pretty well, even imitating the acid trip as well. They end up at Burger Time to where they first meet Knuckles.
    You'd Expect: Sonic not to show anything too out of the ordinary considering the only characters to really appear in this scene are Sonic, Eggman (where Earthworm Jim/Yoshi could've easily carried him) and Knuckles. They could recreate that adventure and just get on with the later episodes.
    Instead: Knuckles asks what's up and says that he wants to join the crew. Tails objects to it, but Sonic is confident that they'll be fine.
    Result: They seemingly get teleported to the final battle with Eggman, where Sonic assumes that they're fine, but then other versions of Eggman, Sonic, and Knuckles appear in front of them.
  Sonic: "This can't be good."

• Season 7
  • Sonic and Co get a "hint" (to meet up with the Creator) from Wreck-it Ralph to go visit Dracula who "hints" him into visiting Arthur. The latter two are a drunken vampire and a mentally deranged person, both who are lunatics and aren't to be taken seriously.
    You'd Expect: Tails or someone to expect that Wreck-it Ralph might've been pulling their leg. Considering that Sonic did mess with him in the past, Ralph was subtly getting revenge.
    Instead: Sonic and Co feel like Dracula and Sir Arthur are reliable enough to hunt for the Creator.
    Result: It's only until they encounter the Battletoads that they tell them that they have no idea what they're talking about and they shouldn't take advice from any of those two.
    What's Worse: The remaining episodes become a snipe hunt, as Link directs Sonic and Tails to the creator of Gears of War, who directs them to the actual creators of the series. It's only when Lowbrow Studios tells them how to encounter the Creator once and for all.
  • Sonic and Tails encounter the Creator: Dominique Wilkins. He and Tails have been on a search for the second half of the season to see who this "Creator" is and why he might be fucking with them. During their encounter, Dominique Wilkins goads Sonic into killing him.
    You'd Expect: Sonic to ignore his questioning and ask why he was screwing around with them.
    Instead: Sonic just shoots him, killing him on the spot.
    Result: Sonic and Tails never find out why Dominique Wilkins was messing with them. However, Sonic does become the "Creator" until the following season.