Characters / Sonic for Hire

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    Main/Heavily Recurring Characters 

In General

  • Amusing Injuries / Butt Monkeys: Sonic, Tails, Eggman and Jim have all become this as the show progresses.
  • Vitriolic Best Buds: Sonic, Tails, Eggman, and Jim by season 5. At this point, they can't even bear to not hang out with eachother.

Voiced by: Micheal William

The main character of the show who is always looking for a job but fails almost all of the time. He is really lazy and rude but there are several moments where he does feel like he's accomplished something.
  • Abusive Parents: He wanted to kill Soniqua off until he found out that she helps him out in threatening situations.
    • He also wanted to wipe his and Lucca's children out of existence.
  • Ascend to a Higher Plane of Existence: Sonic's fate. Subverted. Sonic eventually gets bored and gives up his position.
  • Anti-Hero: On his better days.
  • Attention Deficit... Ooh, Shiny!: Many of his problems stem from his inability to pay attention.
    • His response to being given the keys to a dying bar is to go on a long monologue which results in him concluding that he wants to watch Tombstone.
  • Baleful Polymorph: In season 1, the Eggplant Wizard turns him into, surprise, an eggplant. Damage of the space-time continuum turns him into Wario.
  • Butt-Monkey: In season 1, and especially season 4.
  • Broke Episode: Inverted, most of the series is about Sonic being broke. In Season 3, he becomes rich off of mafia money, before losing it all.
    • He does become rich in Season 6 due to time traveling though.
  • Brilliant, but Lazy: A number of times, such as in Tapper, Burger Time, Atari, and Star Craft Sonic is shown to be actually competent at his job. However, his short attention span and low tolerance for other people mars things.
  • Desperately Looking for a Purpose in Life: By Season 7, Sonic has been a mafia boss, a movie star, went to space, travelled through time, became rich, died, came back to life and done everything he has ever wanted be be. Thus, he drags everybody along to find the Creator, so he can know that there's still some greater purpose for him.
  • Everyone Has Standards: He is disturbed by the murderous tendencies of Kirby and Dig Dug.
  • Have I Mentioned I am Gay?: To be fair, he does use it as an excuse to not go out with Amy, and to not murder innnocents with Kirby.
  • Idiot Hero: While others (Usually Tails or Eggman) are on occasion to blame, nearly all of his failed jobs stem from his inability to stay on task or care. He also drinks lead on occasion for no reason.
  • Jerkass: His low tolerance for other people and drug abuse certainly make him unpleasant to be around.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Occasionally shows a softer side around Tails and Soniqua.
  • Mistaken for Gay: By Mega Man, with Tails.
  • Only Sane Man: Sonic has been occasionally shown to be this, particularly in the presence of Thunderhead or some of the lesser characters.
  • Pet the Dog: His treatment of Soniqua is much better than anyone else.
  • The Hero Dies: Also, Death Is Cheap
  • Really Gets Around: He's had sex with too many women to count.
  • Seen It All: He's jumped through enough games to not be surprised at most of what he sees.
  • Super Speed: Yeah, no shit. However, he's shown to have problems distance running.
  • Trigger Happy: A major reason why he kills so many people.
  • Too Dumb to Live: As a mob boss, the first thing he does is get alcohol poisoning, food poisoning, sun poisoning, and lead poisoning.
  • Villain Protagonist: Kills others for reasons of varying pettiness. Becomes an extreme example in season 4. It could also be said that most of the problems in the series are caused by Sonic himself.

Voiced by: Mike Parker

Sonic's put-upon sidekick/StraightMan. While clearly smarter than most of his company, his inability to lead situations and his bossiness earns the ire of people around him.

Dr. Eggman

Long time enemy, new time friend of Sonic. After being little more than a nuisance in Season 1, Eggman comes to realize that he has nothing to do with his life if Sonic dies, and eventually becomes his friend.
  • Adipose Rex: In Season 6,he steals Sonic's time machine to fix his past mistakes. The end result is that he does win, but he also invents the incredibly-fattening Taco Sandwich and becomes an immobile blob.
  • Big Bad: He was a recurring villain and nuisance in Season 1.
  • Big Damn Heroes: Saves Sonic's life in the season 2 finale.
  • Big Eater: He especially loves fried Mexican food.
  • Butt-Monkey: Not as often as Sonic or Tails but still has his fair share of Amusing Injuries.
  • Ditzy Genius: His robot building skills mostly see use in building deep fryers and funny-looking but useless upgrades for machines. However, as seen in "Falco," he can create actual weapons if he's not distracted. (He still couldn't hold off the deep fryers though)
  • Fan Disservice: He spends most of the show without pants. Also, his Giant Pixel Dick in season 7.
  • Fat Bastard: Mostly in Season 1, but he still shows it later on.
  • Fat Idiot: Most of the time. His obsession with food can cloud his judgement.
  • Flanderization: He suffered some, mainly due to his food obsession, which is heavily shown in Seasons 5 and 6.
  • The Friend Nobody Likes: Jim seems to be the only guy in the group who genuinely likes him.
  • Heel–Face Turn: He performs one of these after he realizes that his life would be meaningless without Sonic.
  • Not That Kind of Doctor: He's a podiatrist, just like Dr. Wily.
  • Poisonous Person: When the Battletoads lick him, they die.
  • Seen It All
  • Show Within a Show: "Cooking With Eggman"
  • Toilet Humor: He's always in his undies. Two things on his bucket list are "have someone regret NOT rebuilding the universe using Eggman shit" and "Fart in Tails's mouth."

Earthworm Jim

  • Ascended Extra: Originally just a recurring character before joining Sonic's gang.
  • Baleful Polymorph: Temporal shenanigans turn him into Yoshi.
  • Berserk Button: Make sure to get his some fucking water when he asks.
  • Big Damn Heroes: Save's Sonics life in the season 2 finale.
  • Butt-Monkey: Has it a bit easier compared to the rest of the main characters.
  • Straight Man: He's usually the foil to everybody else's antics.
  • Heel–Face Turn: Originally wanted to kill Sonic for stealing his suit, but later forgives him and even saves Sonic from Mario's Mob Melee.
  • Not So Above It All: Ever since he spent several months surrounded by South American coke and prostitutes, he's been notably more hedonistic.
  • The Drag-Along
  • With Friends Like These...:
    Jim: <Drinking from a water bottle> "Why do I hang out with you assholes?"
    Sonic: "Don't drink that; it's a roofie cocktail I made for the cheerleaders.


Unlike the friendly Kirby, this incarnation of Kirby is a psychopath. He murders innocent creatures and is known to randomly eat anything. In Season 4, he becomes a famous movie director and tries to help Sonic out.
  • Axe-Crazy: He loves to murder way too much.
  • Bad Boss: In season 4, whenever a Waddle Dee arrives to give Kirby a drink, Kirby murders them.
  • Bloody Hilarious: Beats innocent creatures until blood is spewing out of them.
  • Catch-Phrase: "LOVE IT!"
  • Demoted to Extra: He gets a passing mention in Season 5, and one line in season 6.
  • Extreme Doormat: After weaning off murder, he becomes very depressed and just puts up with other's shit.
  • Fat Bastard
  • Off the Wagon: After being run out of Hollywood, he spent time in a temple to stop murdering people. After Sonic and Tails makes him murder just one more person, he goes on a spree.
  • Token Evil Teammate: While Sonic and the gang aren't what you would call heroes, Kirby is a crazed psycopath.
  • Yes-Man: In Season 4, he loves everything Sonic and Tails say, but sometimes immediately goes back on that.


Sonic's and Mother Brain's daughter that was born after Sonic (He was drunk) had sex with Mother Brain. Mother Brain quickly gave birth to her, much to Sonic's chagrin. Sonic initially wanted to kill her off, saying that it'll prevent him from paying child support. However, after Soniqua saves Sonic from getting killed by Goro, Sonic values Soniqua (a lot more than Tails, that's for sure).

Gilius Thunderhead

A very incompetent and unpredictable ally, Thunderhead can get on anybody's nerves. Sonic meets him and he orders Sonic to have sex with Tyris, which Sonic finds disgusting. Even though this backfires, Tyris seems to like Sonic enough to help him against Mario's Mafia. He had a temporary stay at Sonic's mafia office, but once the crew started drifting away, Thunderhead got sent to jail after starting a bar and committing some crimes, and has gotten an obsession with "ass-wine" (putting a condom full of wine up his ass).

    Other Characters 


  • Ascended Extra: Has a much bigger role in Season 6.
  • Beneath the Mask: Appears to be joyful, but is actually very discontent with his life and Burger Time. His depression is shown a bit more in Season 4.
  • Burger Fool: Manages it!
  • Driven to Suicide: After being trapped in a white void with Sonic, Tails, Eggman, and Jim. he fails.
  • 11th-Hour Ranger
  • Future Loser: Retroactive version. His modern day loser burger-joint-owning self appeared first, followed by his hopeful and relatively joyful self. When Sonic and company attempt to fix the timeline in season 6, Knuckles expressed distaste at his current status in life and tries to save himself.
  • Large Ham
  • Jive Turkey
  • Rhymes on a Dime: "Frying and buying!"
  • White Boxing Gloves: Pointed out to be wearing boxing gloves by Eggman several times in Season 6 and himself in Season 4.

Mother Brain

The mother of Soniqua and an extremely horny and grotesque "mutant brain monster".
  • Explosive Breeder
    "What do you expect I'm a mutant brain monster, I pop out kids like a god damn gumball machine."
  • Fan Disservice
  • Easily Forgiven: After Sonic tries to kill Mother Brain, she forgives him after being shown "cable satellite television."
  • Un-Entendre: Although she makes a lot of innuendos, on at least one occasion she did it by accident.
    MB: "I told [Frank} that there's always room for a giant worm in my cockpit, but it was going to cost him!"

Dominique Wilkins Poster/Person/Creator

A former NBA Basketball player who played for the Atlanta Hawks, he is heavily featured on the poster that Sonic really likes to watch. After the poster's death in Season 2, Sonic orders Dominique Wilkins to be frozen in carbonite.


Link in this series has a "fabulous" personality. A bit scatterbrained, he's more concerned with fashion and maragritas than his actual job.

Amy Rose

Slippy Toad and Peppy Hare


A Crossover lead from Low Brow Studio's other series.

Dr. Wily

A commonly recurring character in Mega Man Dies At The End, Dr. Wily was a former mad scientist. He has connections with Eggman and Mario, as he went to Podiatrist School with Eggman and joined Mario's mafia to kill Sonic. However, there doesn't seem to be any callbacks referring to that. He (in another timeline) gets killed in Season 6 by Soniqua.
  • Crossover: With Mega Man Dies At The End. However, he was involved in Mario's mafia (He got taken out by Tails and killed by Soniqua)
  • Plot Hole: Wily's presence in Mario's mafia isn't really explained, although the two sprites used are different (Mafia Mario's Wily is 8-bit while MMDaTe's Wily is tanner and 16-bit)



Once a princess saving plumber, now a high-end Mob boss. After Tails borrows money from Mario to bail Sonic out of jail, Sonic has to play hitman for the mob. After Sonic accidentally fails a mission and then lets Luigi get ran over on the following mission, Mario sets out to kill Sonic. Mario sends his Mafia friends to kill Sonic, but Sonic's friends help Sonic out and Sonic kills Mario, taking over the mafia. In Season 6, Princess Potato goes back in time and revives Mario, who wants revenge on the hedgehog.

Darth Vader


El Padrino

A minor villain in the series, El Padrino is Red Falcon with the personality of a cocaine addicted South American druglord. He has his minions along with a bunch of coke whores who work for him. In Season 3, Tails serving as the mafia leader temporarily sends Eggman and Earthworm Jim to get a bunch of cash and cocaine from El Padrino. However, it seriously backfires as El Padrino decides to keep the two for entertainment and the two love the cocaine so much they decide to stay there. In Season 4, Sonic takes the two back, but El Padrino sends the "Marmosets", the coke whores on him, but Sonic easily takes them out and El Padrino lets them go.

Taizo Hori

Bowser Koopa

Mike Tyson