Webcomic / Wizard School

Biggest regret over a drunken evening? Blue stars all over your face.

"Just like that other magical boarding school... if the top student spent all his time trying to conjure strippers."

Wizard School is a webcomic parodying Harry Potter that updates Mondays and Wednesdays.

The comic is about Russell Graham, a drunken, arrogant rich guy who is substituted for the "Chosen One" after being tattooed with an identical mark on his face by the comic's villain. Graham is then found by agents from Bumblebane's Magical Academy of the Wizarding Arts, who take him to their wizard school for training.

This webcomic contains examples of:

• Alcohol-Induced Idiocy: Graham's decision to tattoo stars on his face to impress Chydossa.
• All Girls Like Ponies: Graham tries to bribe Celeste with a pony to get back to the real world - although he wants to feed it "processed pony chow, made from other ponies. Or whatever it is neglected ponies eat.".
• But Liquor Is Quicker: Graham tries to get into Chydossa's pants when she tells him: "My God. I get so horny when a man has money and I drink lots of alcohol."
• But Thou Must!: In a parody of the Sorting Hat scene, Graham is offered a choice between heroic Dragonsbane and Obviously Evil Serpentor. He chooses Serpentor... and is told it was just a formality and he's going to Dragonsbane anyway.

• The Chew Toy: Graham's abduction and forced confinement in a wizarding academy is played entirely for laughs.

• Everyone Has Standards: As much as Graham is a drug addict and alcoholic, he draw a line on using dream dust or any form of drugs that can cause Body Horror.
  • He also hates Gavin as well.
• Extreme Omni-Goat: Goatsie wants to eat everything from sheets to loafers to stripper heels.

• Fake Ultimate Hero: Graham - unintentionally on his part, but he'd probably play it to the hilt, if he knew what the hell was going on most of the time.
• Familiar: Goatsie, a talking goat, is Graham's familiar.

• Hidden Depths: As much as Graham is a Jerkass, he showed skill in comforting people.

• Last-Name Basis: Nearly everyone called the protagonist "Mr. Graham."

• Morphic Resonance: When playing Transmogritus, it's still possible to tell the main characters apart (Celeste still has her glasses, for example).
• Noodle Incident: Pretty much all of Graham's life up to this point.
  Graham: What's a little girl doing in my bedroom?
  Celeste: Taking you to see the headmaster.
  Graham: Okay. I've gotten worse answers to that question.

• Pink Girl, Blue Boy: During Transmogritus, Celeste turns pink and Merrill turns blue.
• The Points Mean Nothing: The inter-school competition is mainly a device to keep the students in line, as Graham points out with his characteristic withering cynicism.
• Power Glows: Graham's star tattoo glows once Wyrmspawn casts a spell on it.

• Slipping a Mickey: What Goatsie wants to do with Merrill's summoned pile of drugs.
• Smoking Is Cool: Graham cuts class to smoke cigarettes instead of learning.

• Stranger in a Strange School: Graham is taken, against his will, from a night of drinking to a school for wizards.

• Unsympathetic Comedy Protagonist: Intentional, in-universe: Wyrmspawn choose "the most vile, selfish, reprehensible shit [he] could find."

• What Did I Do Last Night?: Graham after his drunken bender.
• Wizard Beard: Headmaster Farnsdorf has a lengthy wizard beard.