Warp That Aesop / One Piece

• Chain-smoking is badass. Doing it in quantities that couldn't even fit in the average mouth is even cooler.
• Saving your older brother must be your top priority. It doesn't matter if you need to let loose a bunch of the world's worst criminals in the process, one of which has done terrible damage to one of your True Companions' home country, you gotta do what you gotta do!
• If you're the legally justified peace-keeping force, it's OK for you to bomb whole islands out of existence, enslave random citizens off the streets, and hold "trials" where the jury is composed entirely out of condemned prisoners on death row whose only hope of seeing another tomorrow is to say "Guilty" as the sentence (including presumably the "criminals" mentioned above).
• Indulge in human trafficking as much as you like; it's fun and the government won't give a shit.
• Oh, it's also OK to go into a protectorate country and try to assassinate the VERY POPULAR mayor for blueprints he doesn't actually possess, and call the citizens pirates for resisting you (leading to bombing the entire country, including your own men) all the while framing innocent sailors, just so you can torture a woman who witnessed her own country destroyed the same way AS A CHILD, because she MIGHT know about something that happened over 800 years ago.
• Whole series: It's not important that your beliefs make any sense, just that you feel really strongly about them.
  • On that note, it's more heroic to let someone be surrounded by signs of failure than kill them. This is explicitly stated.
  • For some reason, being an irresponsible idiot makes you the best leader of all.
• 4Kids dub: the legally justified peace-keeping force must not have weapons more powerful than what a small child could buy with their allowance.
• Killing someone is a terrible thing, but beating someone into unconsciousness is A-okay. It's actually a completely acceptable thing to do about someone you don't like. Don't worry, they won't risk suffering brain damage or even death in the long run. Modern medicine is lying; they will wake up and be fine after a short amount of time.
  • Stealing, lying and generally being an asshat is also fair game.
• This may apply to every Shounen Manga, but, VIOLENCE SOLVES EVERYTHING! Did someone say something rude? Beat him up! Someone is being a jerk? Beat the living shit out of him! Does someone run a revolution which could possibly be solved through talking? No no no, take your first instinct, go with it, and BEAT HIM UP!
• Even if you are a criminal pirate who steals and beat people up, you can still be pure at heart!
• Fighting an opponent you can't possibly hope to defeat to defend your foster father's honor is more important than honoring the sacrifices dozens of your allies made saving you from execution by escaping the enemy stronghold while still in one piece.
• It's better to let the blame for a major murder fall upon some (relatively) innocent human pirate than the unrepentant racist actually responsible, allowing him to grow in power to the point that a pirate crew conveniently stopping by were the only people capable of stopping them on the island. Your late mother certainly would have preferred the hatred going to humanity while she was trying to establish peaceful coexistence over a guy who would commit other atrocities to garner hatred toward himself.
• The best way to prove to someone that women are not weaker than men is to have one scared into submission simply because her opponent proved that he wasn't chivalrous enough to not attack.
• Almost every pretty woman likes to wear revealing clothing. And if the men so much as dare peeking at your exposed thighs, they're all disgusting horndogs!
• That tall, pale-skinned man who has horns and long, black hair, wears a coat that reads "Gas-Gas" and runs a factory in a snowy region is the perfect person to follow as your savior, and could possibly do no wrong.
• Women shouldn't be allowed to fight even if it's for a noble reason, as it tarnishes their beauty.
• If you're a man confronted with a female enemy, they're usually either misunderstood or weak-willed enough to scare unconscious. Unless they're ugly, in which case, go ahead and beat them up.
  • If an attractive woman drives you to tears and is eager to kill you, simply disregard this and keep lusting after her body. You'll just happen to appeal to her Freudian Excuse without learning to think with your head instead of your dick.
• If your friend is ever in a critical condition and on the verge of death, steal their food! Sure, you'll get beaten up, but it'll save their life in no time.
• That creepy guy that loves playing about with severed limbs and cutting out people's hearts would make for the perfect ally. If your friends tell you not to trust him, they're just being horrible and judgmental.
• Doctors are either bratty children who will berate you if you try to compliment them, manipulative bastards that play with body parts for pure fun, abusive old ladies, creepy perverts that are only in it for the money or callous jerks who have no problem calling an terminally ill child a monster. But as long as someone in the first two categories is adorable or handsome, they can still be counted amongst the good guys.
• Unable to swim? Become a pirate/Marine! What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
  • Actually Truth in Television.
• Unless you're a protagonist, your dreams don't matter.
• If the government burns down a library, the best option is to either join and improve their technology or start a violent revolution.
• From One Piece Film: Red
  • The perfect utopia composes of trapping people in a dream world where you are in control, at least until you die from poisonous mushrooms.
  • If you have a cursed song capable of summoning a monster, make sure to keep it safe rather than destroy it, because music must be preserved.