Warp That Aesop / My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic - General

Multiple/series-wide/undefined

• Having severe mood swings at the drop of a hat is no big deal. It's quirky and charming.
• Hard work never pays and people don't appreciate it anyway so just stay out of the way if you feel like doing any useful work.
• Loners Are Freaks. It's right there in the title - if friendship is magic, then lack of friendship makes you unimportant and unspecial.
• Nature should be controlled and bent to the whim of your society at all times. A place where it's allowed to take its natural course? Scary as hell and to be avoided except as a last resort.
• Making a delicate person cry once is worse than repeatedly physically abusing them or almost getting them killed (intentionally or not).
• For girls growing up means finding your one calling in life and pursuing it. For boys, however, it means becoming a greedy monster. The only way for a boy not to be a Jerk With A Heart Of Jerk is to grow up around lots of girls, and then reject his own kind and decide to become just like one.
• People from out of town tend to be jerks, or people tend to be jerks to people from out of town
• People from in town tend to be colossal jerks as well. Let's face it: the entire pony race is comprised 99% of unlikable dickheads. It's no small wonder that every single other species on the planet seems to universally mistrust and dislike them, or outright want to conquer and destroy them.
• It's okay to use racial slurs, as long as you ensure afterwards that any member of the target race that could hear you is okay with this.
• Being a jerk makes you the worst kind of person and you deserve all the bad things that happen to you. On the other hand, being massively inconsiderate to the point where you steal, cause major property damage, potentially ruin the environment, endanger people's lives (including children) or actually hospitalize them, will have no negative consequences for you beyond some mild inconveniencing, especially if you apologize. Sometimes, your complete disregard for others with get you thanked or even rewarded.
• Drugging people for love is A-OK. No one will hold it against you that you literally poisoned people and the damage they caused in their stupor.
• People are more likely to be pissed that you humiliated them rather than if you drugged them.
• Long-term consequences for bad behavior are things that happen to other people.
• Snobby rich people aren't really people. They shouldn't be treated with any respect and will deserve anything you do to them.
• Your shy friend should be forced into terrifying things, or completely changing themselves, and you're an awesome person for dragging them into a life-threatening situation without any sort of consent. And if they turn into a complete bitch because of the stress, it's totally their fault or the person trying to help them improve their lives; not you.
• When someone else ruins a party after being repeatedly humiliated and calling out what comes across as a setup, they're a horrible person that even the most loyal of people would be justified in permanently severing ties with them. When you do it because people aren't buying your food at a catered event, the party isn't as active as you'd like, the animals don't want to play with you, your favorite celebrities aren't paying enough attention to you despite the fact that they can see you out of the party while this is the only chance some of these people have to see them, or just because you feel like it, the worst it is is wacky hijinks.
• If you've turned good, you are in no way accountable for your past actions from when you were evil, even if they eventually endanger the whole world. ^note Unless you're Sunset Shimmer.
• Sealing your evil turned sister into the moon to prevent the extinction of all life will earn you a lot of hate from the fanbase. How dare you try to protect your civilization from eternal darkness!
• A last minute Deus ex Machina will always come to save the day, even if you screwed yourself over ten thousand times by holding the Idiot Ball.
• Bad people will hate you for shallow reasons, even when you have more legitimate flaws, like acting like a creepy, codependent stalker, tendency to ruin fancy parties, or have seriously bad judgement.
• Only ponies, pegasi, unicorns, and zebras can lie anywhere on the Character Alignment. Alicorns are Always Lawful Good, and any other species (griffin, dragon, etc.) are Always Chaotic Evil! Unless they completely change themselves, in both appearance and behavior, to meet your culture's narrow-minded concepts of good and evil.
• Everybody has a calling in life and if you don't know what yours is by the time you're about eighteen something is seriously wrong with you.
• Only women deserve to be "true" royalty, that is be alicorns and have actual power and authority. Men are only fit to be figureheads at best and should take a back seat.
• In the same vein, the males who fight for the sake of Equestria will be thrown in the military to be laughably underequipped and given no resources or regard despite being expected to face supernatural threats that they have no hope in even standing a chance against. The females will be gathered into what is essentially Special Forces, given superpowered MacGuffins and (eventually) a leader with power and dominion over all three pony species, and given preferred treatment and countless perks. This is because Men Are the Expendable Gender and Women Are Wiser.
• On the flipside, the males who fight for the sake of Equestria will get a paycheck for their effort and hopefully some family benefits (their orphans and widows will need it after Discord reversed his gravity or the Changelings killing them). The females who fight for Equestria better find some sidework as a weather pony or a farmer because Celestia ain't going to pay them shit.
• That said, considering the country needs weekly defenses from often world-threatening dangers, don't bother putting any time, resources, or effort at all into shaping up what could be a powerful military if they weren't so underequipped and poorly trained. Instead, gather up the neurotic shut-in, the weatherwoman, the farmer, the seamstress, the baker, and "also participated" and focus everything you have into creating a small one-point-of-failure defense plan and just hope said threats take turns so the group can handle the responsibility of defending an entire nation.
  • And when one of said world-threatening dangers points this out (in the wake of having effortlessly seized your country, no less) they're absolutely wrong because they don't understand friendship, not entirely correct that spending the majority of your decadent and extravagant lifestyle throwing lavish celebrations to congratulate yourselves for being so awesome has left your narcissistic asses vulnerable and utterly defenseless.
• No matter how powerful and experienced you may be, if you're the leader you never have to lend a hand in battle unless you happen to find yourself caught in the fray. Your evil sister, a cackling Mad God, or an evil dictator shows up? Send the goons and call it a "test". Even if you happen to be in town where a massive flying bugbear you could easily take down is actively beating the crap out of your subjects, just go on in and have a slice of cake: nobody will ever call you on it.
• All it takes to be, and be seen as, a good person is to befriend someone influental and popular like Twilight Sparkle. You could be an eco-terrorist, an uncaring world destroying monster, a town-wide Joseph Stalin, or an otherworldly invader who planned to brainwash teens into child soldiers to attack her homeworld. It doesn't matter. Just make that one friend and you're good to go (an apology is nice, but not necessary). You'll be treated much better than the childhood friend who yelled at the cute one and lost her temper or the loudmouth stage magician who told a lie. Well, until their turns to make friends, anyway, but they'll have to prove themselves by saving a life or enduring scorn to the point of attempting suicide first and won't be given a second chance until show an interest in your religious-like beliefs of friendship.
• Failing the above, just tell people you have a sympathetic backstory and they'll instantly forgive you, defend you from any consequences from your actions, and ensure you get to live a life of privilege and reward so you aren't "driven" to do more bad things you poor thing you. It doesn't matter if your actions were horrific, if you continue to do bad things either accidentally or intentionally, or if at your absolute best you only ever meet the bare minimum standard of what could be considered human decency.
• Someone who is a different race, who was born into servitude and lives with their employer, is apparently unpaid, regularly neglected (bordering on abuse), struck for getting out of line, and who is punished or chastised every time they try to obtain some manner of material gain in exchange for their services is known as a "Number One Assistant", not an ethnic slave and/or child laborer.
• Related to the above, slavery is totally okay if they're a different species than you, you use terminology like "assistant or farm animal", and you're not one of the villainous characters. It's also okay if they're a former villain, you're upset your friend abandoned you like 20 years ago, or you're just too much of a sociopath to realize it's wrong but are allegedly a good guy nevertheless.
• The inherent abilities of your race determines if you are qualified or not to be the leader. The fact that your leadership results in subjects that live in constant fear of monster attacks, a military that is laughably feeble, people that have lived in cultural and technological stagnation for years, having to send what are essentially young adults to fight your battles, and a culture rife with social inequalities doesn't mean that you've lead with debatably low success for years; if you're race is superior, you are a good leader and deserve to lead unopposed.
• A proper police force is entirely worthless, and the military should stay put in the capital city unless one of the Princesses needs an escort. The entire regions of Equestria that are suffering greatly and being ruled over by warlords, megalomaniacs, and God only knows what else as a result of no law enforcement will do just fine until Twi and the gang happen to show up, and just look at how well the (literal) Torches and Pitchforks justice is doing in Appleoosa.
• When a family member goes to prison, sit back and let everyone completely vilefy them to the point that it is common belief the family member ate children. This even applies if you're the leader of a country and thus in a position to tell them to knock that shit off, and if their slander has spread to the point of celebrating a national holiday about it. This won't actually make their already difficult readjustment to society harder or make you look like a callous uncaring backstabber; in fact it will make things easier and funner for everyone involved because everyone loves a good scare!
• If a unicorn levitates you to a place you don't want to go, it's not kidnapping.
• Princes and princesses are always good and pure no matter what, even the one who is an abusive, aggressive, spiteful, controlling bastard.Thanks, Disney!
• If you become friends with someone in the government, you can commit any crime you want and get off scot-free because you can just apologize to him or her and claim you learned your lesson and she'll let it slide. Not just small crimes like trespassing and theft or petty vandalism either. Even serious crimes like eco-terrorism and crimes against humanity that result in mass destruction and death.
• Have a problem? Cast it aside and forget about it. If it comes back, foist the responsibility of it onto someone else.
• Friendship is literally magic because a person's interest in it is what determines if they're worthy of redemption and trust, not their morality or motivations for their actions. The braggart stage magician, the pair of con artists, and the "bully" griffon are unworthy of redemption or a second chance because they're not motivated by making friends, just things like making a living or self defense. The Mad God who ruled the world in everlasting chaos and is still a jerk after being reformed and the mare whose careless, monsterous, and intentional misuse of magic led to the destruction of the world several times over and countless deaths and suffering which was only "fixed" by time travel deserve all the chances in the world because they just want friends. Wait, the stage magician secretly does want friends? Let's give her a second chance then! The only time this rule doesn't come into effect is when said evil person is the younger sister of the ruler; she gets all the second chances.
• No matter what bad things you do, no matter how severe, you will be instantly forgiven if you apologize.
• Related to the above, Villainous Friendship, Unholy Matrimony, Outlaw Couple, Big Bad Friend, Even Bad Men Love Their Mamas, Evil Is One Big, Happy Family, and Even Evil Has Loved Ones do not exist. As any character exemplifying any of these tropes believes in some form of friendship he is not evil or a villain, but rather one apology away from being completely forgiven and welcomed into the main cast with open arms regardless of how horrific their actions were or how disinterested they are in actually ceasing said actions. Right, Discord, Sunset Shimmer, Starlight Glimmer, Tempest Shadow, and Wallflower Blush?
• Also related to the above, your gleeful willingness to Jump Off The Slippery Slope and do objectively evil things like manipulate and torture others, mindrape and torture others, or invade a country and petrify its innocent inhabitants for no good reason in response to mundane and everyday things like being abandoned by your childhood friend, not getting enough attention, or losing a limb definitely doesn't mean you're at heart an awful person who acted on it at the first little push: you're just a misunderstood victim! Yeah stuff like this happens every single day to good people who react by eating ice cream, reading a self help book, or seeking therapeutic and/or disability benefits, respectively, but why strive to be a good person when you can devote years of your life to being a heartless monster and pull a Heel–Face Turn when you've had your fun?
• You're not friendless because you're an unapologetic unsympathetic awful person, you're an unapologetic unsympathetic awful person because you're friendless. RIGHT, Discord, Sunset Shimmer, Starlight Glimmer, Tempest Shadow, and Wallflower Blush?
• Forget friendship: Being able to sing is magic! The power of song can hide your true persona from ponies, con your extended family into building you a free barn, be used to justify why someone's disasterous and heinous misuse of magic is worthy of reward, convince the whole planet to accept and receive as a hero the evilest and most destructive pony in known history, and even convince everyone, even the people directly and extensively harmed by them, to accept the creature that is defined by it's evil and deceptive nature on it's own word it has changed. Learn to sing kids, you'll be able to take over the world!
• So you've got a town of lazy, uncaring, unsympathetic a-holes who sniff weakness like a shark sniffs blood. The one time they're seen interacting with the shy weak one they do nothing but mistreat, bully, and take advantage of her. They don't care that they're driving their beloved farmer out of business until it's too late and she's packing up (and they don't even speak up until her replacement's cider tastes bad). They're the driving reason why The Rival was Driven to Villainy and came back looking for revenge. They're so uncaring and desensitized they don't even flinch when you and your friends are being beaten up by an invading monster (Granted neither does Celestia or Luna but we've come to expect that). Yep, you'd better gear up and defend those dickbags at every beck and call because you're the hero, or something.
• Remember, fans! There is no wrong way to fantasize! Except fuck you for thinking what we don't think. You Bastards.
• The consequences of your actions are inversely proportional to how evil they were. Be Twilight's #1 assistant, loyal confidant, and adoptive brother/son? You're the Chew Toy who is constantly neglected, mistreated, and the butt of every joke who at best is just a servant and at worst borders on being a slave. 22 second fight with your sister? One thousand years moon, no trial, and labelled as a child murderer by way of national holiday. Lied on stage? Loss of your home, all possessions, and vilified in the eyes of everyone. Brainwash teens into an army and destroy the school? Instant forgiveness and slap on the wrist. Mind rape an innocent person to take revenge on them for not being friends with you? Instant forgiveness and friendship. Murder of a group of ponies with the minds of children purely for convenience? Everyone Laughs Ending. Ruin the lives of countless people and cause mass amounts of death and suffering via time travel to make one single person suffer for all eternity as revenge for them stopping you from making a town of people suffer for years because your childhood friend moved away? Free home in a castle, Diplomatic Immunity, friendship with royalty, childhood friendship restored, everyone loves you, and get given everything you want. Contaminate Puppy-Kitten-Duckling Island with the T-Virus and force the Kindergarten students to watch? Probably you'd get promoted to Alicorn for that one.
• Bad people with allegedly sympathetic backstories deserve more pity, special treatment, and empathy than the good people harmed by their actions. Of course you want to try to comfort and make happy the girl whose childhood friend abandoned her like 20 years ago or the girl who is sad her turtle is going to be asleep for a couple months, but why on earth would you ever want to extend such charity to all the people who suffered for years as a direct result of her intentionally heinous actions or all the people who had to work or pay money to repair the weather factory? They're not even main characters!
• "Loving animals" is all it takes to be an expert and authority on the care and protection of animals. That you simply don't give a damn when your decision may or DOES cause irreparable consequences, make absolutely horrendous choices for the "good" of animals, guilt-trip people into adopting pets that are a poor fit for their lifestyle, expect other people to weather the risks and consequences of your actions, and force obligate carnivores to eat a vegan diet are totally not evidence that your competency on the subject is at best minimal and thus you have every right to relentlessly challenge and pressure people who are clearly far more knowledgeable on the subject into following your extravagant, short-sighted, and poorly thought out solutions.
• If you're a male creepy clingy stalker with no sense of personal space like Zephyr Breeze or Star Tracker you're a creep who needs to clean your act up and dial it back. If you're a female creepy clingy stalker with no sense of personal space like Pinkie Pie you're "Lol so random", cute, and lovable just the way you are.
• Self-defense is evil. Don't you dare ever stand up to obnoxious hecklers, scam-artists and domestic abusers, or violent bullies because that'll make you a big meanie-pants And That's Terrible. Just sit back with a smile and take their abuse, and hope that one day he'll change and treat you better.
• If your job title is "Princess of Friendship", you don't need to worry about, try to help, or even acknowledge your friend's dangerously severe abandonment issues, but feel free to take credit for her accomplishments to make yourself look better or enlist her help to cover your own subpar friendship skills. This means that you're a good friend and good at your job, not that you're a pretty shallow person and that your boss clearly gave the title to the wrong person in the group.
• If you do objectively bad things, make incredibly stupid decisions, do things that are completely callous to the well-being of others, or any combination thereof that cause a buttload of problems for other people, you can not only get away with it but might even be be praised for it if you just pretend you were doing it on purpose to teach them. You don't even need to help clean up the mess. Just ask Princess Celestia or Discord.
• You are a good leader if every plan you make and every event you are in charge of immediately fails, falls to pieces, results in massive property damage, people being harmed, and a Near-Villain Victory, and things only turn out okay due to sheer dumb luck. It doesn't matter that all your plans are foolishly naive, are not even remotely likely to actually succeed, and the consequences would be absolutely fatally dire if they fail; it worked out okay when you literally let the bad guy win, trusted the lying manipulative sociopath on her word that she wanted to change, and didn't bother to set up any security after the last time the villain literally just walked into the palace unimpeded and kidnapped royalty, letting her do the exact same thing a second time and being that lucky lasts forever, right?
• Only accepting other people if they subscribe to your doctrine of friendship, and writing anyone else off as irredeemably evil and not worth a moment of your time, makes you a good person rather than basically a narrow-minded cultist. NEVER accept those who are actually different, just those who are superficially "different" but otherwise follow your beliefs so you can hold the moral high ground of being open minded in spite of actually being a self-righteous judgmental narcissist.
• Doing the job you were hired and are paid to do makes you a villain if it in any way inconveniences or offends someone with either legitimate or self-appointed authority. Even if all you did to offend was defending yourself like Trixie, accepting a fair challenge like Flim and Flam, doing as you were ordered by your superior officer like Lightning Dust, literally doing your job as a food critic like Zesty Gourmand, entirely honest via written legal contract like Iron Will, or refusing to accredit a school due to safety and security concerns regarding minors like Chancellor Neighsay...
• Wanting money or payment at any cost is greedy, selfish, wrong, and terrible, with absolutely no exceptions. Wanting something without financial or objective value like the title of Iron Pony, 100% track record of friendship, or Teacher Of The Month at any cost makes you sympathetic and lovable. As long as your end-game doesn't involve getting some of them sweet sheckles you're not doing anything wrong at all!
• All you have to do is claim you have some manner of trait and people will believe it, even if you rarely (if ever) actually show it. Even if you're no more generous or honest than any average person, frequently betray friends, are only "kind" by being a pacifistic doormat, and clearly only party to cover up your crippling abandonment issues, you can still claim to be defined by your generosity, honesty, loyalty, kindness, and laughter and people will totally believe it.
• First-World Problems like missing a homework assignment, losing a pet for a few months, or that your childhood friend abandoned you are far worse and more deserving of pity than actual problems like having your home and career destroyed by a town of ignorant hillbillies, having your career destroyed for following orders by the person who gave you said orders, being repeatedly abused because you simply couldn't do a job that was given to you at the last minute against your will, or having your zeppelin stolen by people upset you expected them to honor a legal contract they willingly signed.
• People are either entirely good or entirely evil, and this actually has very little to do with their actions. Instead it has to do with whether they follow your code of beliefs or not. Thus it is not just acceptable, but actually right, to forgive in an instant and refuse to punish (and even protect) awful people who do follow your beliefs while punishing, exiling, and even killing people who did little (if anything) wrong but don't follow your beliefs. This way of thinking doesn't make you a complete psychopath. Honest.
• The best way to be open-minded and accepting about other races and cultures is to bully and harass them into accepting your own values, cultures, and way of life, up to and including changing their appearances to be more like yours. After all, you're totally not a racist piece of garbage if you refuse to accept that other races look and act different than yours, and if you're only willing to get along with them if they look and act the "right" way (your way, of course).
• It's okay to base who you are and aren't willing to forgive based on race. Especially if they happen to be the same race you are, which totally isn't suspicious or anything. To illustrate, alicorns, unicorns, or really anything with sufficient corn deserves the opportunity to change and all the free chances in the world no matter what unforgivably evil things they've done. Pegasi or less deserve to be fired or sent to hell, and non-ponies deserve to be sealed for all eternity or murdered (including clones of ponies). Exceptions include creatures you want to enslave for their power or use as part of your magic act, but remember they still don't deserve rights or to actually be forgiven. Of course, feel free to claim moral high ground over someone else who has this mentality, especially if it means getting the goalposts moved for you, because remember it's only right when you do it.
• The self-appointed superior race, who self-appointed themselves to that position via use of power, believes it's their job to rule the world, believes their culture and morality to be correct and superior above all others, believes other races and groups must adopt their culture and morality to be seen as "good" (and will influence them by force if necessary), and is even willing to outright kill those who are an "inferior race", are good and heroic pretty princesses. They're certainly not one canister of gas away from being Nazis, or anything like that.
• The best kind of legal system is one that completely forgoes due process, a trial, and a formal charge, and instead just doles out punishments up to and including life imprisonment or executions based entirely on the instant whims of whichever princess(es) just happens to be involved, who can also opt to give free pardons to anyone she wants, based entirely on her own personal bias. No, that isn't by definition a totalitarian regime, you're just paranoid.
• Being a negative, mopey, whiny, and even aggressive person who lashes out at others until those others roll up their sleeves and solve your problem(s) for you is the best way to deal with actual (or even perceived) problems. How you treat others during this period of time doesn't matter because only your own feelings and well-being matter. Just ask Pinkie Pie, Pinkie Pie, Starlight Glimmer, and Pinkie Pie, because it's worked for them every time. It's totally not like your behavior will sour other people's opinions of you, make them think you're a whiny baby, or just turn their backs on you for it, or anything like that.
• The best way to change someone for the better is to shield them from all consequences for their actions, clean up all their messes for them, forgive them no matter what they continue to do, and/or find a way to justify their bad actions as actually good things. That they show absolutely no sign what-so-ever of changing their attitude, cleaning up their act, or even trying to be a better person is proof it's working like a charm!
• All creatures are equal. Some are just more equal than others.
• Being kind of a jerk automatically makes someone wrong, even when nothing they said was wrong and even when nothing they DID was wrong. Unless it's you being the jerk, because you are special. You and your friends can feel free to be complete frigging jerks whenever you please again and again and again and again as many times as you want and it will always fly with maybe just a scolding. There's no need to treat others as you yourself would like to be treated because you can always judge people as worse and harshly as possible and they will always judge you as good and positively as possible.
• A school that nearly managed to start a world war, failed to get accreditation, didn't care that students nearly drowned, hired a war criminal as a counselor who gives bad advice, constantly endangered its students, couldn't manage to actually teach the subject matter at hand, hires completely unfit teachers on whims, has a monster in the basement who threatens students with imprisonment for not being friendly enough, leaves unsecured weapons on the premises that nearly destroyed the world, and failed to teach the subject matter to the student who didn't already know it, all in one single semester, is an amazing school that you should be honored to be a part of. Also you are automatically a racist if you say any of this is bad, And That's Terrible.
• It's not what you know but who you know. Being utterly and unrepentantly terrible at your job will pass without mention, get you bailed out of consequences, and sometimes even get you rewarded if they're acquainted with the popular cabal: just ask Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Shining Armor and Princess Celestia, and Rainbow Dash. Otherwise you can expect to be treated like garbage and probably fired: just ask Lightning Dust, Suri Polomare, and Zephyr Breeze. Don't actually try to be a good person and/or good at your jobs, kids. Just try to befriend influential and popular people who will carry you through life no matter what awful things you do! Note that this doesn't just apply to being bad at your job, but also to violent criminals who are undeserving of a second chance.
• There is no right or wrong apart from what you decide. Whom you choose to defend deserves to be defended simply because you chose them. You are the Princess. What you choose, by definition, is right.
• You are entitled to have the friends you want, whether they like it or not. If someone decides they don't want to be your friend, you have every right to, among others, harass them, stalk and bully them, bring a weapon to school to make them all pay, or otherwise just violently lash out at as many people as possible until they give in and be your friend or you otherwise get something out of it that satiates your cupidity. Never forget that friendship is a personal pursuit, where it's all about your feelings and your desires, nobody else but you matters, and things like empathy or concern for others just don't enter the equation.
• A sister will always outshine her brother, even if they're both newborn babies. Guys wishing to get out of their sister's shadow have only one option: get married so your wife can overshadow you instead.
• No matter how outmatched you are, your enemies will always let you win.
• Boys = strong and dumb, girls = smart and weak.
• When the enemy is talking to gain the upper hand, don't bother shutting them up.
• Always forgive people, no matter what their wrongdoings are.
• So you're a villain more powerful and cunning than a meddling purple unicorn who isn't trained to handle you? Don't bother confronting her physically and knocking her out. Instead, just break her spirit and/or take away her magic. A permanent and thorough solution, right?

Movies/Specials

My Little Pony: The Movie

• Lost an appendage in your youth due to a horrific incident? Ostracized by your only two friends for it? Don't bother trying to make new friends or see a doctor about it, become a terrorist and team up with a tyrannical nutcase to make your country suffer on the off-chance they might be able to fix said missing appendage.
• It will totally work out if you sympathize with a dangerous villain, outright save their life, and declare them your new friend. They’ll have a change of heart then and there, and totally won’t backstab you or anything.
• Leaving a group of people (including children) to drown is fine if one of them stole something from you. People will still consider you The High Queen.
• It’s totally the right thing to do to run off and fight a war if your overprotective parent forbids you to. After all, who cares if you have even more restrictions to deal with after that? You’re a bad friend if you stay put!
  • It’s not unfair to punish your daughter for being a hero and saving everybody.
• It's totally okay to steal a MacGuffin if your friends are acting like idiots and the rest of the world aside from your home doesn't support peace talks. You'll still end up as the hero in the end.
  • It's also okay to act like a buffoon for most of the journey as long as you do the right thing.
• The villain is absolutely right that the reason your country's defenses are so feeble is because you blow a lot of time and money on extravagant parties for the sake of "friendship", but why bother taking this advice to heart? It's not like your country comes under monster attacks and enemy invasions like four times a year or anything.
• Even if you live in a world where powerful magic is all over the place, with magic being studied and practiced scientifically and innovations in magic being made regularly, it's foolish to assume that someone somewhere would be able to cure your disability.

My Little Pony: Best Gift Ever

• Never let your niece into the kitchen. They'll turn whatever dessert you're baking into the Blob.
• Endangering your son by using him as bait is absolutely the best way to stop a giant rampaging monster that could crush him with its thumb.
• The misery you feel from being dumped or rejected is will be ignored or laughed at unless you use it as an excuse to become a sadistic sociopathic monster or bring a weapon to school and make the popular kids pay. Remember children, if nobody feels bad that you feel bad you can get the pity you deserve by just treating others horribly or bringing something sharp or shootey to school.
• The best gift of all is putting all of your friends in danger so that one of them can feel like a hero.
  • Also, encouraging that behavior will never cause any lasting problems. Really, everyone at the end will just have a laugh and no one would mind your friend almost caused a disaster.

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