(Please read this page in the voice of Matt Chapman, doing a gruff Mexican accent.)
♪I'm checkin' up a text-based email for you...♪
Dear Strong Bad
Can you make a page on TV Tropes
that demonstrates your coolsomeness?
Crapfully yours,
A User Of TV Tropes
OK nerds, since you clearly need some educating in awesome, and since I am so awesome, I decided to make a page for myself on your Dork Nerd website. Just try and not barf all over it with your nerdness. Also, if the discussion page for this asks how I wrote this with boxing gloves on, I will punch your face so hard that your face will need to be un-punched to fix it.
Since some of you lame-o faces might not know who I am, as unreasonable as that is, I am Strong Bad, checker of E-mails and the Ruler of Strong Badia. I am the most popular of all the characters from the Homestar Runner website.
Due to my overwhelming popularity with the masses that are mostly made up of Hot women in their twenties, (and not a bunch of sweaty, dorm-inhabiting college kids. At all. ever.) I've had a lot of appearances in other media. I've been referenced in TV shows. I've also gotten into some video games, like Guitar Hero (my pet dragon Trogdor the Burninator's theme song got in), and I played poker one time with an insane rabbit police guy, a Russian mercenary obsessed with killing, some loser who plays D&D all day, and some mute guy. I even got my own game: Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People, or SBCG4AP. It's a point-'n-click game where you play as... ME!!
Anyways, let's get onto the good stu... Oh wait, there's one more thing. One tiny, immaculate little detail...
I RUN THE BEST E-MAIL SHOW IN THE UNIVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERSE! Yes, that's right, with twenty-one E's! Strong Bad Emails, or sbemails, is a show where I check emails sent in by fans. I get to make fun of people, and you get to be made fun of by the best person ever. It's a win-win-win!
This page ain't done yet, so maybe some of you dork-nerd-nerd-dork-faces could help.
Here's a list of all the awesome tropes about the best person in the world:
- Bad Boss: So what if I horse-rough The Cheat a bit? An evil dictator's minions must be kept in line.
- Bad Liar: Wait, WHAT! Who's saying I'M a bad liar? Those times I prank-called Marzipan should prove I'm an artist of lies.
- Badbutt: What do you mean, Badbutt? What, are you not allowed to say badass? Really? That was censored? Geez, I hate being suitable for babies. This is worse than one of Homestar's Deep Impact DVD gifts.
- Benevolent Boss: Oh yeah, I'm very good to The Cheat. I pay him really well, and in return, he continues being a loyal lackey. Though it helps that I've convinced him that pencil shavings are legal tender, so I don't actually pay him much at all.
- Berserk Button: I swear to the holy burninator Trogdor, if I get one more email asking how I type with boxing gloves or signed with the word "crap", there will be blood. Probably Strong Sad's.
- Big Brother Bully: What? Do you think you could resist NOT punching the stuffing/snot/last week out of someone as annoying as Strong Sad?
- Breakout Character: There's a reason most people who go the ol' website are here for me.
- Buffy Speak: There's even a whole dictionary called "Count Longardeaux's Jerktionary" just for the words I invented!
- Bullying a Dragon: There was this one email where I intentionally kicked Graw Mad in the shins.
- Card-Carrying Villain: There was this one day when me and The Cheat walked past this deflated basketball and consciously decided not to re-inflate it!
- Casanova Wannabe: I'm tellin' you the truth, I DO have a million girlfriends! Actually... I don't really know anything about girls. I mean I do! I mean—WHGT! JGTH! YES I'M AWESOME!
- Character Catchphrase: I used to like-a to say "Holy Crap", but I stopped after Strong Sad kept camping next to the Lappy just to come out when I said it. Not to mention: DELETED!! (BEEP). As for my alter-ego Dangeresque, this ladder is missing 7 rungs, so looks like I'm gonna have to jump!
- Character Blog: I'm sometimes Tweet with the Lappier at @StrongBadActual
!
- Characterization Marches On: I'm a bit less annoyed at Dumbstar now than I used to be. But I still want to beat the crap outta him for old time's sakes.
- Cheaters Never Prosper: Even the "totally legitimate rule" I wrote for Kick-A-Ball made me lose!
- The Chew Toy: I had to be hurt 5 times just to get 100% completion in my own dang game's third episode!
- Comedic Underwear Exposure: Oh pants! Come here my pants!
- Comically Missing the Point: I like to take some of my emails in a different direction. To be fair, half of them are near miss-readable!
- Cruel to Be Kind: Besides the fact that it's just fun to make fun of Gron Sad, apparently he likes to be insulted and belittled. Takes a little edge out of it, but hey, no resistance!
- Deadpan Snarker: How else can I make my emails so fresh and cool?
- Defiant Stone Throw: My headless body once threw stones at ol' Clogdor! (AKA The King of Town)
- Defictionalization: Sometimes, I black out. When I wake the heck up, some of my weird ideas turn out to be real!
- Dick Dastardly Stops to Cheat: There's a reason I totally win every COM-PE-TI-TION!
- Disco Dan: The computers used are Compy branded state of the art and my precious Videlectrix Fun-Machine always produces the bestest graphics! Though I can't understand why The Cheat always uses these fancy computers with the back cut off and a bar of soap!
- Drunk on Milk: There was this one time that I tried to fly Bubs' Concession Stand when I drank some soy sauce.
- Epic Fail: I once tried to sabotage The Cheat's date with Marzipan by acting as an Italian chef... in a French. Restaurant.
- Even Evil Has Standards: Viciously villainous and vile as I may be, I am still haunted by that Heavyman's tale of engineers and wrenches. Truly some [BLEEP]ed up [BLEEP], man. His sparrow story's also pretty sad.
- Even the Guys Want Him: I don't understand why Dumbstar sometimes swoons over me! Also, I once got an email from "Brian", and I wrote that unless his name is short for "Brianetta" or "Brian-Sue" or something like that, it's... just not gonna work out.
- Evil Is Cool: Why else would I be the most popuplar Character from Yonder Website?
- Expy: I'm kinda based off of a tag team from a really crappy NES wrestling game.
- Fourth-Wall Mail Slot: My wonderful sbemails. Answering stupid questions from all you morons on the internet.
- Genre Savvy: There's never a situation in my emails that can't be solved by video game or movie logic.
- Gory Discretion Shot: I once was asked to take off my "mask" shortly after I got Le Restige, and I obliged. Trust me, you do NOT want to see that.
- Grammar Correction Gag: Send me your emails, and I will make fun of your punctuation and spelling. I mean, answer them.
- Grammar Nazi: Ohhhhhhh! If you want it to be possessive, it's just 'I-T-S.' But, if it's supposed to be a contraction then it's 'I-T-apostrophe-S,' scalawag.
- Have I Mentioned I Am Sexually Active Today?: I TOTALLY AM! I got, like, a million girlfriends! They're just... too cool to be found hanging out with the riff raff I live near.
- Heavy Mithril: Trogdor was a man... I mean, he was a dragon-man... or maybe he was just a dragon... but he was still TROGDOOOOOOR!!!!
- I'm Not Doing That Again: I am not ripping my face off again, especially since it hurts a lottle.
- Ineffectual Sympathetic Villain: HEY! That's not true, I'm TOTALLY effectual!
- Jerkass Has a Point: One Decemberween, I had to point out to Marzipan that she took, at face value, something that Senor Cardgage, the guy who lives in a bush and talks to melty candy bars said. And, who not fifteen minutes before I came up to her, told me I "might paste away if I Dinty Moore."
- Meaningful Name: Yeah, Strong Bad is a pretty good name for me. I mean, I'm like really strong and stuff, got me some nice, beefy arms. And I am really bad! Nobody messes with me!
- Not a Mask: This is not a mask. It's my face. Since taking it off hurts a lottle, I usually give emails requesting me to take it all off a little 1-2 DELETED! punch.
- Poke the Poodle: The Cheat and I have done some nasty stuff lately, like actively choosing not to reinflate a basketball we passed by!
- Red Boxing Gloves: THESE! ARE! MY! HANDS!
- Rock Opera: SBEMAAAIILLL!
- Show Within a Show: (high-pitched screechy voice) TEEN GIRL SQUAD!!!
- Small Name, Big Ego: Hey, who you calling small?! I'll have you know that I'm the most awesomest, most handsomest, most fearedest person in all of Free Country, USA. I even have my own country! Strong Badia. Population: tire.
- Villain Decay: Some jerkbutt emailed me to say I was losing my edge! Guess I better put some Volcanofernal Scorchsauce in Dumbstar's melonade and set something on fire.
HELSCOME MY SELF DEMONSTRATING PAGE! IT'S NOT DONE.
This page is best viewed with Ned's Cape 1.0 or lower.
