Sandbox / Homestuck Clean Up Funny 3

For Funny Moments prior to Act 6, click this link.

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Act 6 Act 1

• The beginning of Act 6 focuses on a billboard of Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff: THE MOIVE for a few seconds.
• The opening sequence for Homestuck Alpha happens entirely offscreen.
  "Earlier this morning you thought you heard the mail truck, even though the mail never comes in the morning. But just to be sure, you rushed downstairs to check, even though due to recent events, you are FORBIDDEN FROM LEAVING THE HOUSE. Alas, it was not there, and you sort of spaced out at the sky with a goofy grin on your face for no great reason"

• Receiving Sburb Alpha in the mail, Jane exclaims in Buffy Speak that Roxie finds completely incomprehensible.

• Jake: Make out with all of them, which has Jake make out with the poster of Neytiri from Avatar.
  "Yes, that was a waste of time. Definitely. It's definitely not something you spend much time doing whenever you are alone, which is always. "
• Jake getting increasingly irritated with Strider's auto-responder:
  GT: Hey. Tell me about the auto responder. Make it snappy shitknickers!
• Jane arguing with her dad about keeping her dead grandpa in the living room.
  "Sometimes you tell Dad you really want Poppop in the attic. He says the mere fact you call it that tells him you're not ready."
• We finally find out where all the pumpkins have been disappearing to: Jake's house!
• Roxy, on Betty Crocker's influence:
  TG: all i know is shes banking on us doing this and if she needs us to do this than its got to be to make somethin fucking hoorible happen
  TG: * horbible
  TG: * whore bible
  TG: ^ bullseye

• Strider's touching and entirely disturbing monologue about the power of his puppetry.
  TT: If it puts your mind at ease, I'll be the one pulling the strings here.
  GG: Oh yes?
  GG: Then this whole affair will be one of D. Strider's grand productions in puppetry?
  TT: I will be the unseen hand whose nimble digits are behind every subtle twitch in our session's bulbous foam ass.
  TT: At least those gyrations not happening by the volition of its own quivering absorbant proboscis.
  TT: If you ever need help, Jane. If you're ever in any trouble at all, let me know. Just say the word.
  TT: I'll whip the toggle stick of this ludicrous marionette, cavorting its humongous bottom to intercept your freefall through the abyss.
  TT: Snowcone you up in the fluffy crook of its cleft. Don't be alarmed if you're in no hurry to unpry yourself.
  TT: For the great jut of this impudent rump has more yield to your touch than you ever dreamt. Remember to catch your breath as it cherishes the imprint of your hand like a memento from a lover gone to war.
  TT: There's a lot of give to that ass, you may say.
  TT: Might like to settle in. Make myself comfortable. Start a family.
  TT: Bounce a coin off that ass, you'll demand of visitors. It's not going anywhere.
  TT: Bet that coin'll take a good nap there.
  TT: It's a gamble you win every goddamn time.
  TT: Yeah.
• Which is funnier- the bunny fidgeting the Potty Dance while holding the fridge, Jane reacting annoyed at the bunny for putting the fridge down WRONG, OR B2!Dad noticing the mess with Stunned Silence?
• Jake's overly dramatic reaction to being swarmed by happy little fairy bulls that, rather than extracting revenge on him, just float around radiating hearts at him.
  OH MY GOD THE HUMANITY. HOW THEY EXACT THEIR POUND OF FLESH.

Act 6 Intermission 1

• For those who like their Black Comedy, the image of Hussie superimposed over all the character who've died so far: "Oh god, you're right! There are still a few characters I haven't killed yet."

• John's flabergasted expression when he realizes that he and Jade have been had, and that they're going to be stuck traveling through the yellow yard for 3 years. MIND FUCK
• Serenity's translated morse code on this page: YOU SUCK!!
• After PM materializes in a flash of green fire and several pages of the two having a dramatic staredown, we get a closeup shot of Jack Noir... and see a little heart floating over his head as he looks at her.
• JOHN: you are like a furry now, but not really the weird kind that people on the internet like to have sex with in their imagination. JADE: D: John, WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT!?
• John writes a letter to his friends on the back of a poster, but feels it shouldn't just be crumpled up and tossed. So what do they do? Use a bucket to hold the letter, only to realize at literally the last second that trolls hate buckets "for some reason". Hilarity Ensues, along with a return of a certain famous expression on Karkat's face.

• Karkat jokingly freaks out at the possibility of having his eyes burned out by the Green Sun and asks if "one of you awesome dudes has a radical pair of shades I can borrow?" Kanaya obliges^note with Equius's shades.
• All of the dialogue with the kids and the trolls in front of the green sun, but the end of Rose's exposition is especially hilarious.
  ROSE: Don't be ridiculous. It won't take nearly that long.
  KARKAT: OH
  ROSE: It'll only take about three years.
  KARKAT: OK
  KARKAT: THAT'S NOT SO BAD I GUESS.
  KARKAT: WAIT, HOW LONG ARE YEARS SUPPOSED TO BE AGAIN?
  KARKAT: WAS IT LIKE TWO WEEKS OR SOMETHING?
  ROSE: Yes, two.
  ROSE: And then fifty more.
  KARKAT: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.
• Rose talking to Dave about Maple hoof at the end of this conversation.
  ROSE: Was that the one you mentioned had a pink heart on it?
  DAVE: yeah
  ROSE: Hmm.
  DAVE: what
  ROSE: It's just that with the clarity afforded by my new abilities, it occurred to me just now that dead horse was likely the beautiful pet pony my mother gave me recently.
  ROSE: It was crushed to death by your newborn ass.
  ROSE: You bastard.
• In the same conversation:
  KARKAT: YOU KNOW HOW EVERY NOW AND THEN YOUR LUSUS WILL BRING SOME RANDOM ASS DEAD ANIMAL BACK TO YOUR HIVE FOR NO FUCKING REASON
  KARKAT: AND THEY DON'T EVER STOP DOING THAT NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU YELL
  KARKAT: IT'S LIKE THAT, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN
  DAVE: not really
  DAVE: oh wait
  DAVE: against all odds i sorta do
• The entirety of the "first contact" between the two humans and the surviving trolls is almost nothing but laughs, but Terezi's sheer embarrassment over the whole thing is hilarious.
  TEREZI: 1 4M SO SORRY YOU GUYS
  TEREZI: W3 4R3 4CTU4LLY 4 LOT COOL3R TH4N TH1S!
  DAVE: are you actually
  TEREZI: ...
  TEREZI: NO
  TEREZI: NO W3 AR3 NOT
• Karkat is a walking Funny Moment, but his semi-monologue at the start of the first contact deserves a special mention. Especially since he's absolutely right:

  KARKAT: IS IT GOING TO SHIT ON EVERYBODY'S GREAT TIME IF I DARE TO BRING UP IMPORTANT THINGS NOW?

  KARKAT: IS IT SAFE TO POKE OUR HEADS UP FROM THIS GULCH OF IDIOTIC BANTER AND SEE IF THE COAST IS CLEAR FOR ADULT, BUSINESSLIKE CONVERSATION?

  KARKAT: YES, YES, HUMANS, SO NICE TO MEET YOU, AND IT SEEMS YOU'RE GOD TIERS NOW? NEAT, YADA YADA, WHAT THE FUCK EVER.

  KARKAT: JUST ONE QUESTION

  KARKAT: WE FOLLOWED THAT GREEN BEACON OF WHAT I THOUGHT WAS THE AFTERMATH OF A SUCCESSFUL BLOW UP THE SUN MISSION

  KARKAT: AND AFTER A BREAKNECK WARP SPEED JOURNEY IN WHICH MY BEST FUCKING FRIEND *EVER* PSYCHED ME OUT INTO THINKING HE DIED *YET A FUCKING GAIN* BY EXPELLING LITER AFTER GRUESOME LITER OF GRUBSAUCE FROM HIS EVERY ORIFICE

  KARKAT: WHAT DO I FIND HERE?

  KARKAT: WHY, IN ADDITION TO A PAIR OF HUMANS DRAPED IN CIRCUSWEAR AND ALL THEIR FLIPPANT GIBES LOCKED AND GODDAMN LOADED

  KARKAT: IT SEEMS WE HAVE ALSO CHANCED UPON NONE OTHER THAN THE GREEN FUCKING SUN ITSELF

  KARKAT: WHICH UNLESS MY RAW, RUDDY GANDERBULBS ARE STILL A LITTLE GRIEFBLEARY, STRIKES ME AS STILL BEING SOMEWHAT RATHER FUCKING *UNBLOWN* UP.

  KARKAT: SO WHAT AM I MISSING HERE

  DAVE: dude chill out we just got hornswoggled is all

  KARKAT: OH!

  KARKAT: CASE CLOSED

• Karkat being slowly hit by a bucket. His wildly flailing arms really sell it.
• The letter that John places inside said bucket also qualifies; he's unaware of the fact that trolls reproduce by depositing their genetic material in buckets, and that as a result trolls consider buckets obscene. In that light, the fact that he opens the letter with "it is john, jade, and dave sprite. we all contributed to the contents of this bucket!" is nothing short of hilarious. As a whole, the letter is basically worded as awkwardly as possible.
• Davesprite insisting on defiling the poster John writes the letter on. When John doesn't let him, Davesprite acts as if he's being denied something that's rightfully his. And then he draws on it anyway with sprite powers.
• [S][A6I1] Karkat: Mental breakdown. All of it. Right down to Rose's EYEBROWS, the translated text at the end spelling out "This is stupid", and if you click the Nick Cage head at the end of the flash he informs you that was the plan...to give you a boner. And you got one. Made all the better by the panel afterward, which shows everyone else watching in confusion as Karkat freaks out.

Act 6 Act 2

• After weeks about wondering about the other three letters in R??? Lalonde and D??? Strider's first names, we finally get some more information. Specifically, we know one more letter: their names are Ro?? Lalonde and Di?? Strider. Teasing Creator at its finest.

• After installing Sburb on her computer, Jane flies out of her room and onto the couch. The Reaction Shot really sells it, thanks to Jane’s Death Glare.
• You're cool with dabbling in the FINE SEQUENTIAL ARTS, and your work could be viewed by some as BORDERLINE PORNOGRAPHIC. And to those philistines you'll be heard wondering, what the fuck do you mean BORDERLINE?

• Squarewave's reaction to losing to Dirk in a rap-off:

   SQUAREWAVE: DAMN DOGG WHY AS A ROBOT I GOT TO BE SO PREDICTABLY SUSCEPTIBLE TO LIQUID LIKE THIS. IT AIN'T COOL!!!

• Dirk and the Autoresponder working together:
  GG: Are you typing your most important instructions in red now?
  TT (Autoresponder): Yes.
  TT (Dirk): No.
  GG: ...
• The truth about uranianUmbra:
  TT: What I'm asking is, have you ever written stories about us?
  UU: .....
  UU: yes. u_u
• Roxy recommends that Jane loosen up:
  TG: jc your are the tightassiest tightass who ever tightened up an ass
  • also
  TG: jane i am afraid
  TG: that ur bottom
  TG: is a stubborn clam
  TG: guarding priceless treasure
  TG: and a deadly secret
  • and who could forget
  TG: just dont wait too long
  TG: and dont underestimate striders wiles
  TG: nor jakes...
  TG: lets say
  TG: open mindedness???????
  GG: Well,
  GG: He does often profess his love for adventure, I suppose.
  TG: yuuup................
  GG: Omg.
  GG: I really don't have a moment to spare, do I?
• [S] Prince of Heart: Rise up.
  • At one point, Jake taunts Robo-Dirk... only to get five thumbs down, a la [S] Dave: Abscond. The look on Jake's face is priceless.
  • The Prince is awake. Your shit is wrecked.
  • Jake's Eye Glasses flying off. True to the trope, he has no eyes underneath (but he's not Blind Without 'Em as bad as Velma, effortlessly picking them up off the ground).
• Jake asks Jane whether she has feelings for him, and Jane panics and turns him down. The expression on her face in the following panel is priceless. As is this one after she keeps sticking her foot in her mouth. And this one.
• The Post-scratch White Queen saves Jane from Jack. And utterly destroys her aloof, dignified image in the process.
• The continued adventures of Roxy's drunken spelling errors, with her repeatedly messing up her yell of "MOTHERFUCKER" until she eventually gives up and just yells "SHIT!!!".

• Roxy and UU talking:
  Roxy: y/n
  Roxy: or shuold i say
  Roxy: y/n/u
  UU: U!
  UU: i choose U!

Act 6 Intermission 2

• Hussie's attempts to nurse Spades Slick back to health, starting with trying to feed him with a baby bottle, much to his disgust, as we quickly learn that the milk is "fresh from the Butler's teat, you just watched me milk it!" Hussie resorts to hollering for Ms. Paint to help him, complaining that Slick is being a dick as Slick proceeds to stab him again.

• After finishing his conversation with future Karkat, Karkat proceeds to respond to the memo that he had created ten minutes ago because he wants to antagonize a version of himself that's 10 minutes away. What really hammers it in is the chat bubble above his head, which shows Karkat yelling at Karkat, who's yelling at Karkat, who's yelling at Karkat...
• This clever bit of Sophisticated as Hell:
  KANAYA: No
  KANAYA: See Im Explaining This Badly
  KANAYA: All Im Saying Is Basically
  KANAYA: Just
  KANAYA: Fuck That Guy
  • It's better than that. In context it goes like this:
  DAVE: yeah see i knew there had to be a perfectly harmless and unerotic explanation
  ROSE: (shh!)
  KANAYA: No
  ...
  KANAYA: Fuck That Guy
• Then there's the coffee machine - aka the Instant Revitalizing Machine from EarthBound.
• Rose reveals that Dave was checking out their mom — months ago, in a dream, and she never said a thing about it. ;)
• Dave and Karkat's interaction ends with Karkat grabbing Dave's cape, and Dave telling him to knock it off, resulting in this:
  DAVE: i cant believe i seriously just said dude dont touch my cape to somebody and was serious about it
• Karkat barging through, saying:
  KARKAT: EVERYBODY OUT OF THE GODDAMN WAY.
  KARKAT: I GOT A LAB FULL OF HUMANS, A MOUTH FULL OF YELLING, AND A TORTURED PSYCHOLOGICAL PROFILE FULL OF TOTALLY HYSTERICAL EMOTIONS AND UNAIRED GRIEVANCES AT PRACTICALLY EVERYBODY.
  DAVE: karkat is broken guys
• Rose stealing Karkat's trashy troll romance novel. It's not just Rose's utterly hilarious expression that does it, but the fact that she grabs the book and runs away without moving her arms or legs at all.
• The romance novel itself. Not only is the image itself ridiculous, but the following conversation consists almost entirely of Karkat trying to explain the nuances of troll romance while Dave keeps getting distracted by the absurdity of the cover.
  KARKAT: THE GUY ON THE LEFT IS AN OLD CALIGINOUS FLAME FROM THE MALE LOWBLOOD'S PAST, AND HAS REENTERED THE PICTURE. AGAIN, NOTHING OUT OF THE ORDINARY. HE CAN CONTINUE TO COURT HIS MATESPRIT AND KISMESIS WITHOUT CONFLICT. IT'S A PERFECTLY AMICABLE ARRANGEMENT THAT EVERYONE'S TOTALLY DOWN WITH.
  DAVE: what is that huge beefcake troll even doing
  DAVE: is he grinding against the little dudes shoulder what is even going on
  DAVE: why the fuck is he nude
• This update to this update.
  KARKAT: FINE TAKE IT!
  DAVE: no
  KARKAT: WHAT??
  DAVE: were still drawing
  KARKAT: LET GO
• Kanaya silently and wordlessly wondering about Dave and Karkat's desperate need for an auspistice, and, presumably, the fact that it will almost inevitably be her, with a confused "what the hell" expression on her face.
• Karkat getting wrapped in Dave's cape, forcing Dave to suplex him in an attempt to get free.
• John's no-romance plans for meeting back up with his friends:
  JOHN: when i catch up with our buddies, i'm sure i will give rose a nice, FRIENDLY hug.
  JADE: aww
  JOHN: whereas i will offer dave a tender bro embrace, and shove karkat down a flight of friendship stairs.
• And seconds later Jaspers is meowing John the birthday song, and pissing off Dog Tier Jade in the process. Chase ensues.
• John's face getting trampled by Dream Roxy. Bonus points because it calls back to Karkat getting hit in the face by a bucket AND Jake's dreambubble meeting. It then results in the Running Gag where it zooms in to heart emotes or similar next to a character's face. It happens to John here, only because of his Celibate Hero status it's... him making a silly face.
• Hussie saves Spades Slick from Lord English...by hurling him off a balcony, on top of what is apparently a very, very tall building. He also rushes SS to said balcony using his hilarious "throttling Doc Scratch" animation.
• Irony: Hussie's doing it wrong.
  Hussie: You have underestimated my omniscience almost as badly as I overestimate it as a matter of daily routine.
• Hussie's Cluster F-Bomb when he remembers that Doc Scratch only ever put one cueball in his gun, rendering it completely useless to him. This is followed by him throwing his gun at Lord English, with it bouncing right off while Lord English's expression doesn't change.
  Hussie: How ironic, that your very demise would be in the proximity of some horses. What? You didn't follow that? Just think it over. Think it over...
  Hussie: WHILE YOU DIE SHIT SHIT SHIT, OH SHIT. FUCK. SHIT SHIT FUCK, I FORGOT.