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Quotes: Voodoo Shark
"No, that was actually Xorn's evil twin brother, possessed by the sentient mold Sublime, pretending to be me, pretending to be Xorn."
Magneto, X-Men: Death Becomes Them (watch), regarding his supposed death. note 

"William Shakespeare did not exist. His plays were masterminded in 1589 by Francis Bacon, who used a Ouija board to enslave play-writing ghosts."
Fact Sphere, Portal 2

Darwin: How come we can see you every day, but we need this to see [other ghosts]?
Carrie: Because I was born a ghost! Duh!
Gumball: Duh! *beat* Actually, I have no idea.

"The Loch Ness Monster is a submarine. Driven by Bigfoot."

"What this comic tries to do is convince everyone that Scrier is in fact a cult-like organization...All of the Scriers dress and look alike, see, so whenever you saw Scrier appearing to mysteriously travel somewhere, it was really a different guy. Seriously. Totally. Even that time you saw him walk through motherfucking walls. That was just… super-technology. Fucking hell, it’s like Marvel editorial wanted to solve the problem of a villain being convoluted and making no sense by seeing if they could get him to make even less sense."
Topless Robot, "The 13 Dumbest Spider-Man Stories.. Just From The Clone Saga"

Chris: Lex doesn’t even have any reason to not like Clark now. The only thing that made him a bad person was Lionel and Clark being to dick to him for his whole life. But now he has NO MEMORY OF ANYTHING. He should be a decent guy!
David: Or a drooling invalid.
Chris: They’ve seriously taken away any reason he had to be evil, and just end up making him evil anyway. Like, it would actually be better if we got a scene where he finds a letter to himself that’s just a picture of Clark that says 'THIS GUY SUCKS' to explain it.
Chris Sims and David Uzumeri on Smallville ("Finale")

"That's what a voodoo shark is — when your story depends on something so moronic, that there's no way of explaining it without resorting to something that's equally stupid!"
Chuck Sonnenberg, Opinionated Voyager Episode Guide, "The Cloud"

Pat: Our mysterious whispering immortal and his band of merry men find Connor and other immortals strapped to these tables underground. He seeks out Connor, then—takes all their heads?! Wait, t-t-this is holy ground, right? He can't do that!
Spoony: He just did.
Pat: But he can't!
Spoony: You heard the man! He "doesn't care about the rules."
Pat: That's not how it works! Are you sure it's holy ground?!
Spoony: Well, it has to be; there's monks with machine guns running around.
Pat: Ah, I guess you're right, that makes se—huh???

Slowbeef: See, I loved how they tried to explain things away from the first game, but ended up fucking things up more.

Q: Why did the Wailord dropped a boulder on Bubble's adoptive mother Swampert?
A: the boulder was attached to that Wailord's underbelly, like Barnicles, and in its leap over Mama Swampert, the boulder detached itself.
Sonichu Q&A

"I think you just dug the plothole even deeper"
Commentary on The Prayer Warriors, in response to a belated parenthetical note saying that God told Jerry about The Mole.

Well, that answers that question, and raises so many others.
Grim, The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy, "Here Thar Be Dwarves"

Cubert: That's impossible. Nothing can go faster than the speed of light.
Farnsworth: No, no, no, of course not. That's why scientists increased the speed of light in 2092.
-Futurama, "A Clone of My Own"

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