"No, that was actually Xorn's evil twin brother, possessed by the sentient mold Sublime, pretending to be me, pretending to be Xorn."
— Magneto, X-Men: Death Becomes Them (watch), regarding his supposed death. note
"William Shakespeare did not exist. His plays were masterminded in 1589 by Francis Bacon, who used a Ouija board to enslave play-writing ghosts."
—Fact Sphere, Portal 2
Darwin: How come we can see you every day, but we need this to see [other ghosts]?
Carrie: Because I was born a ghost! Duh!
Gumball: Duh! *beat* Actually, I have no idea.
—The Amazing World of Gumball, "Halloween"
"The Loch Ness Monster is a submarine. Driven by Bigfoot."
"What this comic tries to do is convince everyone that Scrier is in fact a cult-like organization...All of the Scriers dress and look alike, see, so whenever you saw Scrier appearing to mysteriously travel somewhere, it was really a different guy. Seriously. Totally. Even that time you saw him walk through motherfucking walls. That was just… super-technology. Fucking hell, it’s like Marvel editorial wanted to solve the problem of a villain being convoluted and making no sense by seeing if they could get him to make even less sense."
Chris: Lex doesn’t even have any reason to not like Clark now. The only thing that made him a bad person was Lionel and Clark being to dick to him for his whole life. But now he has NO MEMORY OF ANYTHING. He should be a decent guy!
David: Or a drooling invalid.
Chris: They’ve seriously taken away any reason he had to be evil, and just end up making him evil anyway. Like, it would actually be better if we got a scene where he finds a letter to himself that’s just a picture of Clark that says 'THIS GUY SUCKS' to explain it.
"That's what a voodoo shark is — when your story depends on something so moronic, that there's no way of explaining it without resorting to something that's equally stupid!"
— Chuck Sonnenberg, Opinionated Voyager Episode Guide, "The Cloud"
Pat: Our mysterious whispering immortal and his band of merry men find Connor and other immortals strapped to these tables underground. He seeks out Connor, then—takes all their heads?! Wait, t-t-this is holy ground, right? He can't do that!
Spoony: He just did.
Pat: But he can't!
Spoony: You heard the man! He "doesn't care about the rules."
Pat: That's not how it works! Are you sure it's holy ground?!
Spoony: Well, it has to be; there's monks with machine guns running around.
Pat: Ah, I guess you're right, that makes se—huh???
Slowbeef: See, I loved how they tried to explain things away from the first game, but ended up fucking things up more.
Q: Why did the Wailord dropped a boulder on Bubble's adoptive mother Swampert?
A: the boulder was attached to that Wailord's underbelly, like Barnicles, and in its leap over Mama Swampert, the boulder detached itself.
— Sonichu Q&A
"I think you just dug the plothole even deeper"
Well, that answers that question, and raises so many others.
—Grim, The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy, "Here Thar Be Dwarves"
Cubert: That's impossible. Nothing can go faster than the speed of light.
Farnsworth: No, no, no, of course not. That's why scientists increased the speed of light in 2092.
-Futurama, "A Clone of My Own"