"It is always said of [Patrick] Stewart that his strength as an actor is his ability to deliver bad dialogue with utter conviction. I say it is time to stop encouraging him. Here's an idea: Instead of giving him bad dialogue, why not give him good dialogue, and see what he can do with that?"
"Laurence Luckinbill, a stage actor best known for one-man shows profiling larger-than-life characters like Ernest Hemingway, Teddy Roosevelt, Clarence Darrow, and Lyndon Johnson. In fact, Luckinbill takes a good stab at turning Star Trek V into a one-man show as well: He strides confidently through the movie with the air of a man who knows (a) that his character is the only one whose motivations make any sense at all, and (b) that the franchise regulars are trapped in a brain-meltingly stupid story that makes them all collectively suck ass."
"(John) Candy, for the few precious scenes in which he legitimately appears (and isn't being dopplegangered by computers or a stunt double), is depressingly good, like a rare form of terminal cancer that gives you the power of flight and makes everything taste like cake. He is able to rise above material that, at its best, is the antithesis of laughter, and somehow manages to be completely watchable and occasionally funny in a movie that is the comedic equivalent of stabbing a weeping hobo to death in an abandoned boxcar."
Det. Magnotta (Christopher Walken): ...You don't have a clue, do you? You're not smart enough to be a suspect. This guy...is a genius. It took him years to perfect it. Now he's gonna savor it. It's not just the killing he's into; he's into power. The intimacy of goin' inside, where the heart still pumps; he's into feelin' the skin tighten like a canvas and the warm blood spraying, leaving masterpieces for us to marvel at. And he's gonna go on and on, creating masterpieces, unless I stop him. Because I know what drives him to it. So don't you dare think you understand a killer—or me.
Spoony: (applauding) Ohh, you gotta give it up for Walken, c'mon! Give it up! Chistopher Walken, everyone!
"Iíll give it to the actress Piper Perabo, she was acting the shit out of this movie. And for a movie like The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle, she didnít have to give much effort. Of all the real actors playing the cartoon characters, the only one I felt did a decent job was Rene Russo as Natasha. I say that and she is the only actor to get a Razzie nom... DeNiro is just kind of in this movie and doesnít contribute much besides embarrassment."
"And then there's Shaun Toub, who stands out for the opposite reason: He's an honest-to-shit actual actor, and he looks as out of place as a zebra that's wandered into an alpaca farm. You can actually watch the realization dawn over Toub's face that nobody else is doing any acting in this film, but he soldiers on, dedicated to his craft in spite of everything. Toub, who's playing the uncle of Dev Patel's tormented Prince Zuko, is the real tragic hero of this movie, as you watch him struggle to cling to his dignity as everyone around him drowns in narrative sewage."
"Once we meet a bad guy whoís exactly how Nolanís Batman films would portray the Riddler, we glance down to find our cinema seats have morphed into coconut mats, whizzing on a rapid, spiraling descent into spectacular dumbness. Itís all so gloriously and unexpectedly stupid, like Zodiac penned by someone who fended off middle-act writerís block by hoovering a load of PCP into their lungs. The only way to watch is to revel in the bizarre combination of massive craziness and powerhouse acting, from two leads who were quite clearly cast by accident, instead of the materialís rightful players, Nic Cage and a sweaty John Cusack."
"So Lex Luthor uses the high-frequency device to find Superman...Itís almost like the energy of Superman I leaking through in some sort of alchemical accident. But, I mean, you could probably just stick those two characters by those actors in a bare room and ask them to ad-lib for 90 minutes and it would have been an insanely better film than this."
"Two things about McKellen in this scene. 1: As usual, he straight up kills the material, even when itís the ridiculously awkward setup where one of the Morlocks is asking why he doesnít have a tattoo. Because thatís natural dialogue, right? 'Hey, why donít you have a tattoo?' is always the third or fourth question I ask someone after I meet them. 2: The fact that Magneto has a different cape for casual, everyday wear is fan-f***ing-tastic."
"Don't try to class this movie up, lady. It's not worth it."
"And in a twist of fate that I can only call miraculous, Matt Leblanc is not that bad of an actor. I used to think he was Godawful in this film. Really, when I first saw it I thought he was the worst thing in the movie. But as I've aged I've began to notice subtle nuances in filmmaking. And looking at it again with fresh eyes some 12 years later, I have come to the conclusion that it's not him — it's the script. Watch this guy and tell me he's not trying. He's trying hard. But the script makes him out to be a total horny asshat who can only spout one-liners. I mean, he hits on his boss's daughter RIGHT IN FUCKING FRONT OF HIM!!!"
"Y'know, you don't have to try so hard. You could just half-ass this performance and get paid the same. Just sayin'."
"Thereís also a really, really nice line delivery from [John] Glover right before this where Tess asks him if Lex is worth killing over, and he tells her 'Lex is worth anything,' as though heís trying to tell her why people drink water or breathe air. Itís a really amazing piece of acting, especially from a guy who just had to spout off a paragraph of exposition so sloppy that it actually started with the words 'As you know, Tess.'"
Q: Is there anything good about the Wonder Woman pilot?
A: Adrianne Palicki. People might not have liked the way WW was portrayed, but Palicki did the best job she could with it. She was tough, funny, charming, and appropriately badass, all when she needed to be. As a successor to Lynda Carter's Wonder Woman, I'd say she filled the corset admirably.
Q: That's it?
A: Oh! And they made Wonder Woman look tall.
"[Al Pacino] is actually trying here, even with the awful material, injecting a lot of misplaced intensity into something that he just could've ho-hahed his way through in his sleep."