Quotes: Took the Bad Film Seriously

You have not lived until you've seen Martin Landau disco. Well, perhaps you have. He is both miscast and misdirected, and seems to labor under the misapprehension that his role should be taken seriously.
Roger Ebert on B.A.P.S. (1997)

(John) Candy, for the few precious scenes in which he legitimately appears (and isn't being dopplegangered by computers or a stunt double), is depressingly good, like a rare form of terminal cancer that gives you the power of flight and makes everything taste like cake. He is able to rise above material that, at its best, is the antithesis of laughter, and somehow manages to be completely watchable and occasionally funny in a movie that is the comedic equivalent of stabbing a weeping hobo to death in an abandoned boxcar.

Det. Magnotta (Christopher Walken): ...You don't have a clue, do you? You're not smart enough to be a suspect. This guy...is a genius. It took him years to perfect it. Now he's gonna savor it. It's not just the killing he's into; he's into power. The intimacy of goin' inside, where the heart still pumps; he's into feelin' the skin tighten like a canvas and the warm blood spraying, leaving masterpieces for us to marvel at. And he's gonna go on and on, creating masterpieces, unless I stop him. Because I know what drives him to it. So don't you dare think you understand a killer—or me.
Spoony: (applauding) Ohh, you gotta give it up for Walken, c'mon! Give it up! Chistopher Walken, everyone!

I’ll give it to the actress Piper Perabo, she was acting the shit out of this movie. And for a movie like The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle, she didn’t have to give much effort. Of all the real actors playing the cartoon characters, the only one I felt did a decent job was Rene Russo as Natasha. I say that and she is the only actor to get a Razzie nom... DeNiro is just kind of in this movie and doesn’t contribute much besides embarrassment.
Miles Antwiler on Rocky and Bullwinkle (2000)

Don't try to class this movie up, lady. It's not worth it.
The Nostalgia Critic on Kate Winslet in A Kid in King Arthur's Court

And then there's Shaun Toub, who stands out for the opposite reason: He's an honest-to-shit actual actor, and he looks as out of place as a zebra that's wandered into an alpaca farm. You can actually watch the realization dawn over Toub's face that nobody else is doing any acting in this film, but he soldiers on, dedicated to his craft in spite of everything. Toub, who's playing the uncle of Dev Patel's tormented Prince Zuko, is the real tragic hero of this movie, as you watch him struggle to cling to his dignity as everyone around him drowns in narrative sewage.
Charlie Jane Anders, in the io9.com review of The Last Airbender

Once we meet a bad guy who’s exactly how Nolan’s Batman films would portray the Riddler, we glance down to find our cinema seats have morphed into coconut mats, whizzing on a rapid, spiraling descent into spectacular dumbness. It’s all so gloriously and unexpectedly stupid, like Zodiac penned by someone who fended off middle-act writer’s block by hoovering a load of PCP into their lungs. The only way to watch is to revel in the bizarre combination of massive craziness and powerhouse acting, from two leads who were quite clearly cast by accident, instead of the material’s rightful players, Nic Cage and a sweaty John Cusack.

Chris: The destruction of the bar is almost impossible to care about because it was pretty janky to begin with, but the bright shining moment is Udo Kier, pawing at a chainlink fence and selling it like he’s watching someone murder a child while this squealing In The Heat of the Night guitar riff plays underneath him.
Matt: It’s like he’s making up for Pamela Anderson’s non-acting with DOUBLE ACTING.
Chris: He’d have to ratchet things up to quintuple acting if he wanted to balance her out.
Matt: Not even the Kier can shoulder that load.
—Chris Sims and Matt Wilson on Barb Wire

And in a twist of fate that I can only call miraculous, Matt Leblanc is not that bad of an actor. I used to think he was Godawful in this film. Really, when I first saw it I thought he was the worst thing in the movie. But as I've aged I've began to notice subtle nuances in filmmaking. And looking at it again with fresh eyes some 12 years later, I have come to the conclusion that it's not him — it's the script. Watch this guy and tell me he's not trying. He's trying hard. But the script makes him out to be a total horny asshat who can only spout one-liners. I mean, he hits on his boss's daughter RIGHT IN FUCKING FRONT OF HIM!!!

Kirk asks how they’ll get past the Great Barrier, and Sybok says that God gave him a vision, and is waiting for them on the other side. This merely convinces Kirk that Sybok is 'mad'...Laurence Luckinbill actually plays this really well: Doubt crosses his face, and while looking at Kirk he asks himself, almost genuinely, 'Am I?' Then, not with confidence but with visible faith, he answers himself with a smile: 'We’ll see.' Not a lot of actors would have played it that way, so well done.

What troubles me about Jon Pertwee’s performance in this story (aside from the alarming sexism which seems to stem naturally from the actor) is how he seems to be the only actor taking this whole story seriously. Nick Courtney, John Levene and Katy Manning cannot exactly be blamed for having a laugh riot with their hackneyed characterisation but Pertwee marches on, staring into the camera and delivering his speeches as though he is on stage and delivering the most powerful of Shakespeare soliloquies. Nine times out of ten Pertwee’s serious style of acting really added to the drama of his stories, but he is fighting a losing battle with this lunacy and winds up looking po faced and out of sync with the rest of his co-stars. Imagine Tom Baker in this story, he would have played it up to the hilt and made everything far more enjoyable, but Pertwee's straight laced portrayal merely drags an already lacking tale to new depths...The Master muting the Doctor made me howl with laughter; ‘Oh what a bore the fellow is!’

Y'know, you don't have to try so hard. You could just half-ass this performance and get paid the same. Just sayin'.
Allison Pregler on a bit part actor from Baywatch

There’s also a really, really nice line delivery from (John) Glover right before this where Tess asks him if Lex is worth killing over, and he tells her 'Lex is worth anything,' as though he’s trying to tell her why people drink water or breathe air. It’s a really amazing piece of acting, especially from a guy who just had to spout off a paragraph of exposition so sloppy that it actually started with the words 'As you know, Tess.'
ComicsAlliance on Smallville ("Finale")

Q: Is there anything good about the Wonder Woman pilot?
A: Adrianne Palicki. People might not have liked the way WW was portrayed, but Palicki did the best job she could with it. She was tough, funny, charming, and appropriately badass, all when she needed to be. As a successor to Lynda Carter's Wonder Woman, I'd say she filled the corset admirably.
Q: That's it?
A: Oh! And they made Wonder Woman look tall.