Quotes / That Came Out Wrong

"I'll...get wood...at the tree! Tree wood!"
Sagi, Baten Kaitos Origins

Steven: Hey! Look, you have Rose Quartz, why bother with him? He's worthless!
Lars: Thanks a lot, Steven.
Steven: No, I meant like worth less, not worthless like relative to me?
Steven Universe, "Stuck Together"

Lelouch: That pussy's got my head's protection! Wow. That did not come out right." [falls into a bush] "Well this figures. I'm supposed to be chasing pussy but instead I'm stuck in the bush. [Beat] What is wrong with me today! [finds Suzaku] Suzaku, what are you doing here?
Suzaku: I'm here to kick ass. [hears meow] Now let's go take care of your pussy problem!
Lelouch: Well, at least, it's not just me.
Code MENT note 

"Let's do it! The levels, I mean, not sex."

"Mary...I desperately want to make love to a schoolboy!"
Lloyd Christmas, Dumb and Dumber

"I may have a soft spot, but if you even look in her general direction again, you'll find out in the worst of ways that I have some hard spots too...that came out wrong. Or did it?"
Wade Wilson, Deadpool

"Yes, Rosebud Frozen Peas: Full of country goodness and green pea-ness...Wait, that's terrible. I quit."

"If you need something under the table... I'm your guy. (beat) That didn't come out right."
Dexter

"Funny how you can say something in your head and it sounds fine..."

"Yeah, but I can't let Tani-baka know about this note  — ever. The second he heard about it, his head would explode! (blinks, thinking about what she just said as her face reddens) And I'm going to shut up now."
Yanagimoto , Kyon: Big Damn Hero

Female!Commander Shepard: [discussing 'sparring'] So when should I book the room?
Garrus Vakarian: I'd wait if you're OK with it. Disrupt the crew a little as possible. Take that last chance to find some calm just before the storm. You know me, always like to savor that last shot before popping the heatsink.
[Shepard gives Garrus a knowing smirk]
Garrus Vakarian: Wait... that metaphor just went somewhere horrible.

Sherman Klump: Pardon me ladies and gentlemen, but I cannot go on living unless I have this man inside me right now!
Dean Richmond: Steady, sailor.

Garrus: Turians like it hot.
Shepard: I ride my soldiers hard and put them away wet, I can at least make sure they don't go to bed hungry.

Aaron Rodgers: WILSON, I WILL PERSONALLY BEAT YOUR DICK OFF!
Jay Cutler: That's a poor choice of words for you, Rodgers.

"It's grinding time, Nepgear. Hope your butt's clenched. Aaand I just realized that can mean something entirely different."

Tobias: I'm afraid I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run, if you will, so it seems I have something of a mess on my hands.
Michael: There's just so many poorly chosen words in that sentence....

Chuggaaconroy: Whoa! 2 or 3-up, my ass!
ProtonJon: You might want to rephrase that one.

"Put my nut in your mouth and bite hard! I don't give a shit how that sounds, I'm in a Care Bears movie!"
Nostalgia Critic regarding the climax of Care Bears Nutcracker

Rich Lambert: "What we ended up settling on is that the older, wiser, more powerful a Telvanni wizard is, the more overgrown, the larger their mushroom tower is."
Jessica Folsom: "So literally size is a measure of power."
Rich: "Oh, I'm glad you said that."
— An episode of ESO Live

"I don't want that on my conscience that I exposed a young child to dick. (starts laughing) That came out so fucking wrong!"
Etika, from his reaction to Death Note (2017) reguarding how everyone who hasn't watched the Death Note anime should leave, as he doesn't want their first experience with it to be this movie, which was previously described as being dick.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Quotes/ThatCameOutWrong