18th Nov: We've switched servers and will be updating the old code over the next couple months, meaning that several things might break. Please report issues here.
"Oh, and Fear Factor, I watched maybe a half hour
After that, felt like I needed a long shower
Network execs with naked ambitions
'Next week on FOX, watch Lions Eat Christians!'"
— "Weird Al" Yankovic, "Couch Potato"
"Look around. We all live in public now, we're all on the Internet. How do you think people become famous any more? You don't have to achieve anything; you just gotta have fucked up-shit happen to you."
— Jill Roberts, Scream 4
"Why is everybody we know depressing?"
— Stewie Griffin, Family Guy, "Grumpy Old Man"
"It is not enough for me to succeed. Others must fail."
"...thousands of people are waiting to see if we could successfully land. And although we go there for the science questions, I don't think they were there at 1:30 in the morning because they're dying to know about the pH and salinity of the ancient aqueous environmental stability of Mars."
—Adam Steltzner, Mars Science Laboratory lead engineer for Entry, Decent and Landing on why the Curiosity Rover Landing was so popular.
"Million Dollar Drop was a short-lived game show where couples had $1,000,000 they wagered on trivia knowledge. They placed stacks of bills on trapdoors that of course clanked open when they got a question wrong. It was crushing for people to watch their actual dreams fall away, but the demilich beneath FOX studios demanded a sacrifice of cash tainted with despair.
"Everybody knows that the only watchable episode of American Idol is the first one of the season. Therein all the self-delusional idiots fly off the handle when the judges tell them what their hearts already whisper: You are terribly ordinary."
"Every clip that TLC has released to promote their 2-hour special on Kate Gosselin’s never-ending quest to pimp out her litter of pups has done nothing but remind everyone that Kate’s still an awful, greedy, horrible shameless fame whore who would volunteer all 8 of her children as tribute for The Hunger Games if it meant she could get her rubber face on television. Someone at TLC must have finally realized that no one is going to tune in to their 2-hour documentary on Pennsylvania’s Pimp Mama Kris when they can tune in to E! and watch the real thing, so today they released a clip to People of a humbled, struggling Kate in an attempt to make her seem more sympathetic and less evil (not possible, but good try TLC)."