"Thou shalt not call a man over 30 who plays with a child who is not his own a paedophile — some people are just nice."
— Scroobius Pip, Thou Shalt Always Kill
"By the power vested in my by that bloke I met in the pub — who knew for definite — I now pronounce you — a paedophile."
— The Paedofinder General, Monkey Dust
"Why don't you have a seat over there?"
—Chris Hansen, Dateline, "To Catch A Predator."
"If pedos looked like pedos, they'd never do any... pedo-ing!"
— Nina, Being Human.
"I think this thing's gone a little too far,
hell, I only offered him a CANDY BAR! I said 'WAIT!'
I said 'What are you doin'?'
They said 'PRE-VERT the kid's life is ruined!'"
— Peter Paul And Mary, "Talkin' Candy Bar Blues"
Guy pulls over, opens and closes car door in general vicinity of child. EVERYBODY PANIC