Brace yourself for two movies so unnecessarily long that they include five Volvo commercials
, two montages of the previous Twilight movies, four games of chess, and the MOST. STARES. EVER!
This movie is challenging
you to stay awake for the whole thing... And I wasn't even tired!
I can watch a movie super-late at night! If I'm engaged, I'll be into it, it doesn't matter. But I noticed I was starting to nod off, and I was like, "I'm not gonna let this movie beat me.
It beat Mike. I'm not gonna let it beat me." So that was my challenge for the rest of the movie, to keep me invested: just, not falling asleep
. To the point where I had to just get up and walk out the theater for a bit, stretch my legs. I heard you
Yeah, because I knew you had given up... I didn't think you were coming back.
For the love of God! Cut half this shit out, c'mon!
Cause this is FILLER! Filling up the time! An hour and a half is just too long for uncreative minds! Whoo! Whoo!
Boy, this would be annoying if it were paired with a much more interesting and time-sensitive story.
This is gonna be a really short video. But it's a kinda short level, even for Yoshis Island
, it's — Bonus challenge
! Oh, well, okay, we can artificially pad things up with Bonus Challenge here. (Whew!)
Oh my goodness, guys, I donít want to jinx it, but I think Ö I think Ö this Apartment 3-G
storyline might finally
be over... Looks like allís well thatís ended well after weeks and weeks and weeks of literally nothing happening, oh God, so many weeks, so many nothings.
This movie is slower than the checkout line with the woman reading the bodice ripper and paying with a check.
Here is the movie. Some government guy comes up to Henry and tells him to give the government some steel and Henry tells him to piss off cause capitalism. Then Henry complains and someone asks 'Who is John Galt?' and someone disappears like there is some Objectivist Batman
running around or something. Another person comes to Henry asking him for steel and he tells him to piss off. Henry complains and someone tells Atlas to shrug. Then another person tells Henry to give the steel, then lather, then Henry has the court asking him for steel, then rinse, then more government people ask for steel, then repeat. I had it all wrong a few paragraphs ago. This movie isnít slow in telling a story, it is an endless loop. Ayn Rand is Selena Gomez
, she loves this plot point like a love song, and she keeps hitting re-peatpeatpeatpeatpeat.
Oh god, this review has me quoting Selena Gomez.
: As you may have realized by this point, this movie is kind of poorly written. But hey, please enjoy two minutes of slapstick as Barb Wireís dog eats a dudeís penis
in the next scene! Matt
: And, really, that whole scene is the dog bites the guy in the crotch. It is the epitome of a DVD deleted scene. But here it is, in the movie...This movie should not only really get going 40 minutes in. It does not earn that at all. Casablanca
can totally do that. Itís got atmosphere like crazy and itís really enjoyable to hang out with Rick and Ugarte for a while. It more than earns its deliberate pacing. Barb Wire
is a 138-minute movie that should be about 50.
Data reports the cave is unstable. Glad you're here, Professor
. The shaking and falling rocks didn't tip me off at all. He goes with Worf and Picard to find an escape route. They blow out a wall, revealing... more caves! Which Picard suggests they head for. In screenwriting, this is generally known as "padding". For those less than cinematically inclined, just picture this: term paper due in thirty minutes. 100 words away from the minimum length. You get the picture.
Mulder chats to his cellmate in what must be one of the most blatant examples of empty dialogue and Scully examines a rock. Yes, it's that riveting...I'd lost the plot at this point and was swiveling around on my chair because that was the more interesting option.
This was not a 1 episode. There were redeeming qualities. As usual, they occur at the beginning and at the end of the episode, when nothing about the episode in question is really happening, but rather, when character motion
slugs forward... I often wonder what the length of the actual character segments of this show would add up to. If someone were to cut them all together using Windows Media Player or something, it would probably give us a good three or four hours of work.
It's just the Doctor playing the Trilogic Game for four episodes while Steven and Dodo meander through a series of arbitrary deadly challenges. The reason it's four episodes long is... that's how long it is. It could have been one. It could have been three hundred. It doesn't matter, because the plot does not build at all, at any point, anywhere in the entire episode. They just eventually run out of games and go free.
It was shaping up to be an amusing episode of Raw
. Yes, it was extremely thin on action, but sometimes youíve got to tease the audience to convince them to buy the upcoming pay-per-view, especially Wrestlemania... oh right, this *was* Wrestlemania. And here I just assumed all these thrown-together angles and stunts were just ploys to keep viewers from flipping to Nitro
It's here that Chloe has the flight attendant summon her father to hear her "extremely good news." We cut back to Rayford's point of view because this is how
[co-author Jerry] Jenkins works: If Chloe sends her father a message, the next scene has to be of her father receiving that same message. This is part of his secret formula for cramming a 200-page novel into a mere 468 pages.