Quotes / Lawful Stupid

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This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.
HAL-9000, 2001: A Space Odyssey

Hobbes: Wait, we didn't sing the G.R.O.S.S. anthem.
Calvin: We sing that at the end of the meeting.
Hobbes: I want to sing it NOW.
Calvin: We can't. We have to follow proper protocol! See? It says on the agenda that we sing the anthem last!

Congratulations indeed, but you finished with 2 seconds to spare so I am demoting you. A good bureaucrat never finishes early.
Bureaucrat 1.0, Futurama, "How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back"

You're not Good, at least not any definition of Good that I would want to follow. You follow the letter of the alignment description while ignoring its intent. Sure, you fight Evil, but when was the last time you showed a "concern for the dignity of sentient beings?" You're just a mean, socially inept bully who hides behind a badge and her holier-than-thou morality as excuses to treat other people like crap.

Fiat iustitia, et pereat mundus
(Let there be justice, though the world perish.)
Philipp Melanchthon, Loci Communes

Sir Morris: I'm hungry Boris.
Sir Boris: So am I, Morris. Breakfast isn't until 7:00.
Sir Morris: We could have seven o'clock a bit earlier. At "now" perhaps.
Sir Boris: No, we'll just have to wait.
The Big Knights

If that's how Kilgore fought the war, I began to wonder what they really had against Kurtz. It wasn't just insanity and murder; there was enough of that to go around for everyone.
Willard, Apocalypse Now

Is that wise, captain? The Codex Astartes does not support this action—

...only if law serves justice is it a good law.

"Your father asks you to fix the roof and mow the lawn. When you climb the ladder onto the roof, the ladder is taken away."
"I fix the roof."
"And when you're finished?"
"I jump down."
"You'll break more than bones at this height."
"I see no reason to change my decision. I have not finished mowing the lawn. I must remain loyal to the mission."
—"Between Two Women", a record of a Turing Test in Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker

GoGo: Why are we stopped?
Wasabi: The light's red!
GoGo: There are no red lights IN A CAR CHASE!

Peasant: Ulric! Uuuulric! A devil bear has stolen my wife!
Ulric the Just: This will not stand! [...] Justice is served! I bring you... the devil bear's wife!
Peasant: Actually... I wanted my wife back.
Ulric the Just: You have no concept of justice. Enjoy your new wife.

    real life 
I know no method to secure the repeal of bad or obnoxious laws so effective as their stringent execution.

In the Soviet Union it was illegal to take a photograph of a train station. Look what happened to them. They tried to classify everything.

We cannot expect people to have respect for law and order until we teach respect to those we have entrusted to enforce those laws.

This is funny because the last two months of WCW have involved monster truck fights, vehicular property damage, attempted murder, ACTUAL murder, destruction of footage, a f*cking Himalayan ice mummy attack, multiple neck-breakings and countless betrayals that jeopardize the future of the company and nobody got punished. They got title matches. But now a referee has been shoved and you must face the consequences.
Brandon Stroud, "The Best and Worst of WCW"

For some strange reason, straight edge is treated as a gang by law enforcement in at least one locale (Salt Lake City, Utah). Bizarre! — the police want kids to say no to drugs and alcohol, but when a group of kids comes along who actually do, they are treated as a gang anyway. Oddly, straight edgers are probably the only youth in Utah (Mormons included) who actually follow the Mormon 'word of wisdom' concerning alcohol, tobacco, and coffee. You can't win, I guess.

My friends in Los Angeles got these letters warning they could be fined if they water, and I got a letter warning that I could be fined for not watering. I felt like I was in an alternate universe.

Paul Joyce was a very technically-minded director, meaning that although the designers and visual effects team have nothing but praise for him, others are less enthusiastic... Joyce also got into a dispute with the lighting director, John Dixon, because Joyce wanted to include the lights in a shot of the privateer set (implying that they were part of the privateer) and Dixon wound up stopping the show for two hours in protest. Joyce would later describe the incident as 'Kafkaesque.'
Alan Stevens and Fiona Moore on Doctor Who, "Warrior's Gate"

I remember one time Goldberg met Mark McGuire, who was on the verge of breaking the home run record and was in the news literally every day. McGuire was a huge mark for wrestling. He and Goldberg met up before a game, did some batting practice. Had this happened in the WWF, they'd have filmed everything, probably had Goldberg and McGuire going to Louisville to pick out bats. But we never showed anything. We weren't allowed to make mention of it, because it wasn't WCW's idea.
—WCW announcer Bobby Heenan

The Pertwee book should be out towards the end of next week if all goes well — I've just gotten the last edits back, and am typesetting and doing the requisite fighting with Amazon's system. (Let's see if they accuse me of plagiarizing my blog again).
Phil Sandifer, TARDIS Eruditorum

The paladin's alignment is not Lawful Anal.