Quotes: Ignorant of Their Own Ignorance

haterz: People who think you are a moron. Using this term will do little to dissuade them.

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    Literature 

He is himself his own World, his own Universe; of any other than himself he can form no conception; he knows not Length, nor Breadth, nor Height, for he has had no experience of them; he has no cognizance even of the number Two; nor has he a thought of Plurality; for he is himself his One and All, being really Nothing. Yet mark his perfect self-contentment, and hence learn his lesson, that to be self-contented is to be vile and ignorant, and that to aspire is better than to be blindly and impotently happy.
The Sphere in Flatland, preaching against the King of Pointland.

    Live-action TV 

Who's Britannica to tell me the Panama Canal was finished in 1914? If I want to say it happened in 1941, that's my right!

Bill: I have spoken in front of dozens of fraternal organizations across this great land of ours. Shriners, Lions clubs, Elk lodges. It's like I'm their king or something.
Dave: A kingdom of fat men in little cars. You must be very proud.
NewsRadio, "In Through the Out Door"

Nobody ever thinks they're stupid. It's part of the stupidity

    Newspaper comics 

Dogbert: (selling cars) I can let you have this one for five thousand.
Customer: Three thousand.
Dogbert: No, but I can sell you that car for four thousand.
Customer: Thirty-five hundred.
Dogbert: Sold.
Customer: (driving off) I guess you don't get a lot of negotiators like me.
Dogbert: It's the first time anybody bought the car they came here in.

    Radio 

You see, 666 is a doubling of 33. And 33 is pi.

    Web original 

Never trust an author who has written more books than they have read.
Rational Wiki on Phyllis Schlafly

What was terrifying about Bush was that he didn’t know much about the world and, more to the point, didn’t care to. He was eager to play the cowboy: decisive, independent, and beholden to nobody. While the rest of the world stared, slack-jawed, and tried to figure out if America realized that westerns were works of fiction.

But seriously, Iggy is right. I’m sure that in a few years, rap historians will say that Iggy’s “Fancy” did for hip hop what Martin Luther King, Jr.’s “I Have a Dream” speech did for the civil rights movement.

And how many rappers can say that they were a Jeopardy answer (that nobody got)?

Who dat, who dat, indeed.
Michael K., "Iggy Azalea Thinks Iggy Azalea Made Hip Hop More Accepting"

Voltaire said, 'To be uncertain is to be uncomfortable, but to be certain is to be ridiculous.' Bill O’Reilly, I imagine, would think that Voltaire was a pinhead.
John Haggerty, "My Personal Fox News Nightmare: Inside a Month of Self-Induced Torture"

You know you're in trouble when an article begins by citing a 'fascinating Ross Douthat blog' and it doesn't mean fascinating in the sense of someone looking at a catalog of medical deformities might say 'that was a fascinating scrotum face oozing pus.' The rest of the article is a big 'no shit, Sherlock' about Republicans liking Ronald Reagan.

I once saw him set up a joke about natural selection by mocking the audience for not knowing what natural selection was. That was what, fifth grade for most of us? It helped me understand Carlos better as a comic. He assumes we're all stupid because for some reason, he thinks we only went to school until age 10... Does it really count as social criticism when the society you're criticizing only exists in your Meximagination? 'People are stupid! All these people are confusing cereal commercials for the news! That's Boo Berry, not Peter Jennings, you dee duhDEE! What next, do they elect Honey Comb President!!??!? I'm out!'

Being part of the Skins in any capacity means agreeing to have your shame surgically removed from your body. Imagine if Donald Trump’s Twitter feed were a football team. That’s the Skins. Three days in Ashburn and you automatically become ignorant, self-important, arrogant, trolling, entitled, and breathtakingly STUPID. So, so fucking stupid. This is the dumbest organization in America of ANY kind, be it a team, or a company, or a political action committee, or a non-profit organization. Line ‘em all up and the Skins will out-moron them at every turn...It’s like they’re constantly pointing out an ingrown toenail to you. BOY LOOK AT THIS PUS-FILLED TOENAIL. I GOT HOPES FOR THIS TOENAIL. REAL PROUD OF THIS TOENAIL.
Drew Magary, "Why Your Team Sucks 2015!: Washington Redskins"

To try to stem the rising tide of kids coming down with measles because their parents are scared of the autism boogeyman, science has been forced to pump money into researching this issue again and again and again, coming out with study after study that shows no link. That's money that could have been used to research cancer cures of for developing better vaccines or even a serum to inject directly into Jenny McCarthy's brain to kill the stupid directly. But instead it's funding studies to debunk that same old autism/vaccine trope that's already been debunked. And it's all pointless, because to conspiracy theorists all of that new 'evidence' is just further proof that The Man is working against them. 'If there's nothing to it, why are scientists studying it so much?'

The Matrix, of course, is his favorite movie. The stark realities that film presented, the way in which it perfectly illuminated the 'illusion of ignorance' that most people inhabit—Ayn Rand herself couldn’t have written it better. Ayn Rand was a woman, sure, but she also hated women, and boy could she write, so he still loves her. It sucks that she wasn’t also hot, but you can’t win ‘em all.
Megan Koester, "The Anatomy of a Men's Rights Activist"

    real life 

An inferiority complex would be a blessing, if only the right people had it.
Alan Reed

There seems to be a notion abroad among women, rather akin to the superstition that the speech and actions of idiots are inspired, and that the human being most entirely exhausted of common sense is the fittest vehicle of revelation. To judge from their writings, there are certain ladies who think that an amazing ignorance, both of science and of life, is the best possible qualification for forming an opinion on the knottiest moral and speculative questions.

One of the painful things about our time is that those who feel certainty are stupid, and those with any imagination and understanding are filled with doubt and indecision.

This is the epitaph I want on my tomb: 'Here lies one of the most intelligent animals who ever appeared on the face of the Earth.'

I am the object of criticism around the world. But I think that since I am being discussed, then I am on the right track.
Kim Jong-il, Supreme Leader of the People's Republic of North Korea

The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance. It is the illusion of knowledge.
Daniel J. Boorstin, often attributed to Stephen Hawking

He's a stupid man’s idea of what a smart person sounds like.
Paul Krugman on Newt Gingrich

Ever since I attended college, I have been convinced that either 'studies' confirm what common sense suggests or that they are mistaken.
Dennis Prager, conspiracy theorist

Besides claiming that he turned WCW's numbers around, Russo also claimed for years that when he left the WWF, things started to rapidly go downhill. In reality, everything across the board—from ratings to buy rates to merchandise figures—increased, in some cases dramatically, and this was during a time when three of the company's biggest stars Undertaker, Austin, and McMahon) had been off television for months.
R. D. Reynolds and Bryan Alvarez, The Death of WCW