Rock, paper, scissors, gun.
— A comic spin on that classic game.
*four second delay before incantation starts*
"Oh mad and greedy waters, rise up and storm the very heavens! Tidal Wave!"''
— Rita, Tales of Vesperia, casting Tidal Wave normally. Tidal Wave hits all enemies on the screen.
"Blah blah blah. Tidal Wave!"'
— Rita, Tales of Vesperia, casting Tidal Wave through the Spell End fast casting trick.
"The LORD was with the men of Judah. They took possession of the hill country, but they were unable to drive the people from the plains, because they had iron chariots."
— The Bible, "Judges" 1:19
"About halfway through you learn a special move called "the Tiger" and the game is officially over bar a few more hours of shoulder exercise. It's a block that stops any attack and immediately breaks the enemies' guard, leaving them open to become the deadest thing since sliced bread... and this applies to any enemy attack, including bosses! It's like sending a cat among the pigeons - and the cat has an assault rifle."
"Once you learn the Web-Strike, it's like owning a giant Swiss army knife with five hundred different little blades and one that folds out into a minigun. There's literally no reason to use anything else."
"Hit a wild pig, and then sprint after it, continuously spanking its buttocks until it falls over, like a cross between Deliverance and The Benny Hill Show. This done, you have the resources to build a bow, and then you've won the game, congratulations. Because from that point on, I never died. I ran faster than the bears and the inevitable zombies, so as long as I kept backing up and firing, I was rolling in free shit."
"If you bring a bunch of snob-dribbles harvested from dead slimes to the Potion Man, you can get a potion that restores health. Or magic. Or heath and magic if you hunt the very rare blue slime because you're mad. OR... You can go to your Nan. Who will give you two potions that will restore health, and magic, AND double your damage. For FREE. 'Nan, your hearty soup is flooding the potion market. Fuck Ganondorf, we need to save you from having your kneecaps broke by the fucking Potion Teamsters Union!'"
"It breaks my heart to say it, but Final Fantasy VI wasn't built very solidly. We won't even get into all the glitches (Evade does nothing, the Goggles do nothing, Vanish + Doom kills everything, the Sketch command has a chance of either ruining your save file or giving you 99 Gem Boxes, etc.), but what's more alarming is that it was apparently designed without any real consideration toward balance or challenge. Final Fantasy V's Job System might lend itself to abuse, but Final Fantasy VI's Espers/Relics setup practically begs it. It's possible (and pretty easy) to set up Terra so that she's dual-wielding Excalibur and Ragnarok, doublecasting Ultima, summoning Bahamut, choosing from a list of stat bonuses whenever she gains a level, and retaining her Trance command. For Japanese players who had survived Final Fantasy III and IV, in which fighting as dirty as possible was necessary in order to win, Final Fantasy VI must have been like tossing a hand grenade into the barrel with the fish."
—Pat R., "The World is Square"
"GoldenEye 007 has been known to cause fights between its players. Some points of contention are whether or not screen-watching is considered strategy or cheating (it's cheating), whether or not it's good form to memorize all the spawn points and kill people before they even have a chance to acquire a weapon (douchebag behavior) and whether or not using Oddjob is strategy or just a means of hiding one's lack of skill (GODDAMNIT! HE'S TOO SHORT AND FAST! WHAT? YOU JUST POPPED UP FROM OUT OF NOWHERE! SON OF A BITCH! WHAT THE FUCK? ARGH!!!!!!)."
"...the most powerful way to disprove that is to play a C.o.D. (Cleric or Druid). So by all means, if you must win that argument, take you C.o.D. to town. Annihilate the opposition. Make the NPCs and other players scream "Oh no, it's C.o.D.zilla!!!!!" in badly dubbed English. Breathe radioactive fire. Knock down buildings. Then stomp out of the burning Tokyo that is the ruins of the game and swim off into the ocean, seeking a DM with some basic cognitive functions."
"I have designed some broken mechanics in my day. The "free" mechanic from Urza's Saga was mine. Affinity, (based on an earlier mechanic created during Tempest design by Mike Elliott) from Mirrodin was mine. Artifact lands, also from Mirrodin, was mine. Storm was ... no wait, that's all Brian Tinsman's fault."
"Goblin Lackey, Entomb, and Frantic Search are banned in Extended. 'What about Grim Monolith and Tinker?' asks a bystander. 'Isn't Mirrodin supposed to be the all-artifact set?' 'Meh,' says R&D. "'How bad could it be?' ... October: Pro Tour: Tinker is held in Tinker Orleans. Tinker Mindslaver Tinker, Rickard Osterberg, Tinker Tinker ban that f**king card Grim Monolith Tinker."
—- The Ferrett, 2003 in Review
"Foolish girl! I am a druid, I have special abilities that are more powerful than your entire class!"
— Leeky Windstaff, The Order of the Stick
A brief interlude. An archer has 15 points in archery, which is pretty good. A warrior jumper on the other hand has 10 points in warrior, 10 points in jumping, and then they have 5 MORE points in archer, which just seems rude. Once per game, they can turn the whole world into a jungle. Long story short, the Warrior Jumper is HELLA OP. Nerf Inc.
Chika: Now, you will learn how to fear the power of Granzon the cheater!
Shu: Chika...where did you even learn how to talk like that?
Spoony: The way I did it was the same way I breezed through the last third of the game without breaking a sweat. Shit, I was barely looking at the screen. If you max out Lightning's combat roles you get her super-fuck-off ability called Army of One. Army of One is the win button.