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Anime and Manga
"You're too big to fit in a plane so... I'm going to make you compact! It'll take no time at all!"
— Mao, Code Geass
Film — Animation
"Oh, good. My dog found the chainsaw!"
— Lilo Pelekai, Lilo & Stitch
Mouse Doctor: Bring me the Epidermal Tissue Disruptor!
Wilbur: THE EPIDERMAL WHAT?! (Nurse mice hoist up a chainsaw and rev it up) Oh, no! No! No! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! (screams and bolts for the exit)
Wilbur: THE EPIDERMAL WHAT?! (Nurse mice hoist up a chainsaw and rev it up) Oh, no! No! No! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! (screams and bolts for the exit)
Film — Live-Action
"Suck my spinning steel, shithead!"
— Derek, Bad Taste
"Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw."
— Heather Chandler, Heathers
Literature
"Oh, isn't that special. Honey, go tell your father we're going to need a bigger chainsaw."
— Enid Healy, Tricks for Free
Maybe the average young girl didn't speak of chainsaws in the same way, but Virginia felt that that was their loss. As fashion accessories they had the edge on nearly anything else, when it came to getting you a lot of attention. And respect.
Live-Action Television
"All the birds love a scar."
— Eddie Hitler, Bottom, shortly before having his legs cut off with a chainsaw
Giles: We're going to have to create a door.
Anya: Create a door? You can do that?
Giles: I can. *revs chainsaw*
Anya: Create a door? You can do that?
Giles: I can. *revs chainsaw*
"Gotta love this job." (revs chainsaw)
— Stella Bonasera, CSI: NY
Frank: Drawing a confession out of someone is like doing a beautiful dance. A beautiful dance with a chainsaw.
Dennis: He makes less and less sense as the days go by.
"You'd be surprised how many of my transactions involve power tools."
— Kenzi, Lost Girl
"Let's not have a machete-chainsaw fight right now!"
—Richard Hammond, Top Gear South America special after Jeremy chainsaws James's car. The chainsaw cuts out before the fight can actually begin.
Music
Billy solves his problems by calling up his mom
Heather solves her problems with drugs and alcohol
Daniel solves his problems with a doctor and the law
But Malcolm's got his own way and it's better than them all
Malcolm solves his problems with a chainsaw
Malcolm solves his problems with a chainsaw
Malcolm solves his problems with a chainsaw
And he never has the same problem twice!
Heather solves her problems with drugs and alcohol
Daniel solves his problems with a doctor and the law
But Malcolm's got his own way and it's better than them all
Malcolm solves his problems with a chainsaw
Malcolm solves his problems with a chainsaw
Malcolm solves his problems with a chainsaw
And he never has the same problem twice!
— The Arrogant Worms, "Malcolm"
Fire up the chainsaaaw!
Hack all their heads oooff!
Fire up the chainsaaaw!
Hack their fucking heads off!
Hack all their heads oooff!
Fire up the chainsaaaw!
Hack their fucking heads off!
— Cannibal Corpse, "Kill or Become"
Put down that chainsaw and listen to me!
— "Weird Al" Yankovic, "Dare to be Stupid"
Tabletop Games
I saw this weapon first in the keeping of Red Hand Kolchis, but have since seen swords of a similar type in the possession of at least three other warriors and read descriptions of more (such as the Snarling Hand of Jsak Koomriver). Kolchis, a lone Khornate Champion, acquired it deep in the eastern Skull Lands whilst carving his way through a tribe of dark-skinned orcs. It appears as a normal sword except, instead of a razor edge, a line of jagged teeth run down one side. At the wielder's command, the teeth race down the blade, ripping apart armor and flesh as easily as if they were parchment. The beast-hilt howls while it does so and whines if let unsated. Unsurprisingly, I have found this type of arcane technology almost solely in possession of warriors of Khorne - as it suits their violent and noisy disposition. Even the weapon itself seems to favor Khorne, often as eager to rebound and tear through the guts of its wielder as the foe, as is demonstrated by the fate of Red Hand Kolchis himself.
— Marnius Gaius describing the "Chainsword" in Tools of the Apostate, as quoted in the Liber Chaotica
Problems? Problems? There is no problem I cannot solve with this...
— Attributed to Mad Chainsaw Johnson, Warhammer 40,000
You know, there's nothing like the feel of a chainsaw as it cuts right through to the soft part of the bone. The way the hard noise changes just slightly to a softer squishy sound. Aah, music to the ears...
—Vampire: The Masquerade - D.C. By Night
Video Games
"A chainsaw! Find some meat!"
— Doom
"Some people are born to use a chainsaw, others have chainsaws thrust upon them."
— Ash Williams, Evil Dead: A Fistful of Boomstick
"This two-handed sword was forged using ancient Sheikah technology. Its unique rotating blades give it impressive cutting power that will slice enemies to shreds."
— Description for the Ancient Bladesaw, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
RRRRRRRNNGGGGGG DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH.
— Nexus War, in-game description of the Chainsaw weapon
"A chainsaw? As if things weren't bad enough already!"
— Sheva Alomar, Resident Evil 5
Now get out there and rock that chainsaw for all its worth. Zurn isn't quite capable of explaining it - at least not to me - but it seems your extended use of Aldini's homemade machine has kicked in some kind of extra-curricular capacities. I.e. you can now channel your powers through a fucking chainsaw.
—Kirsten Geary, The Secret World
"When we run out of bullets, they're gonna wish we hadn't."
—Coach, Left 4 Dead 2 trailer
“2 Trolls, 1 giant chainsaw, unlimited possibilities.”
— The Villain Vault description for Shrednaught, Skylanders: Trap Team
Troll 1: "Hey, Skylander, you're low on heath and we have a chainsaw!" [revs engine]
Troll 2: "Just saying."
Troll 2: "Just saying."
— Shrednaught, Skylanders
"The saw is law!"
— Chain Reaction's Catchphrase, Skylanders: Imaginators
Web Comics
Make your swords become like things unto chainsaws.
— Glorious Chainsaw Method, 8-Bit Theater
"Oh. how stupid of me. That was the sound of chainsaw nunchucks.
"
"— Dr. McNinja, The Adventures of Dr. McNinja
King Radical: Ha! See what happens when you bring a sword to a chainsaw fight?
Dr. McNinja: Yeah, I see that a sword's actually a weapon, unlike your firewood maker.
— The Adventures of Dr. McNinja, again
Ethan: So we both have a bunch of little plastic men, right? and we move them manually. Then, when we fight, we roll dice and then do math to figure out who hits who. But there are no actual battles, or explosions. We use our imaginations like a couple of savages. It sounds almost as fun as chewing used medical syringes.
Lucas: These guys here have Chainsaw swords.
Ethan: This is the coolest game ever. Hurry up and figure out how to play so my little plastic dudes can chainsaw your little plastic dudes.
Lucas: These guys here have Chainsaw swords.
Ethan: This is the coolest game ever. Hurry up and figure out how to play so my little plastic dudes can chainsaw your little plastic dudes.
"Beware the happy man with power tools."
"— Florence Ambrose, Freefall
"As you prepare to leave the town, you- Uh, Lewis, are we boring you?"
"Nah, I was just thinking how Star Wars might've been cooler if they had chain saws instead of light sabers."
Web Original
"EVERY TUESDAY, EPIC MEAL TIME! Comin' at you with a chainsaw and a big pile o'meat! If you ain't down with that? THEN YOU AIN'T DOWN WITH COOKING!"
— Harley Morenstein, Epic Meal Time
"Chainsaws historically have now probably been used more often against zombies in games than against wood in real life."
— Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw, Zero Punctuation, on Left 4 Dead 2
37. Chainsaws are not the solution to every question.
** 1. Nor is "More Chainsaws".
** 2. Or "Chainsaw Cannons".
*** 1. Except for that one time. And yes, it was awesome.
** 1. Nor is "More Chainsaws".
** 2. Or "Chainsaw Cannons".
*** 1. Except for that one time. And yes, it was awesome.
—The Things That Dr. Bright Is Not Allowed To Do At The Foundation
"I've beaten this game with submachine guns, shotguns, assault rifles, hunting rifles, and the chainsaw. The chainsaw especially is the first weapon you get that's a game ender. If you can't beat this game once you find the chainsaw, you don't really have an excuse."
— Ross Scott, Ross's Game Dungeon, The Last Stand
"CHAINSAW, I LOVE YOU!"
— Korone Inugami, hololive, Doom (2016),
Western Animation
"Oh, Rico. Chainsaw's Your Answer to Everything!"
— Private, The Penguins of Madagascar, "I Was A Penguin Zombie"
Otto: I added the saws!
Sprx: You add saws to everything.
Sprx: You add saws to everything.
