Quotes / Chainsaw Good

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    Anime and Manga 

"You're too big to fit in a plane so... I'm going to make you compact! It'll take no time at all!"
Mao, Code Geass

    Film - Animation 

"Oh, good. My dog found the chainsaw!"
Lilo Pelekai, Lilo & Stitch

Mouse Doctor: Bring me the Epidermal Tissue Disruptor!
(Nurse mice hoist up a chainsaw and rev it up)
Wilder: Oh no... no... no... NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

    Film - Live-Action 

"Suck my spinning steel, shithead!"
Derek, Bad Taste

"Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw."
Heather Chandler, Heathers

"I love this saw! This saw's a part of me, and I'm gonna make it a part of you!"
Buzzsaw, The Running Man


Maybe the average young girl didn't speak of chainsaws in the same way, but Virginia felt that that was their loss. As fashion accessories they had the edge on nearly anything else, when it came to getting you a lot of attention. And respect.

    Live-Action Television 

"All the birds love a scar."
Eddie Hitler, Bottom, shortly before having his legs cut off with a chainsaw

Giles: We're going to have to create a door.
Anya: Create a door? You can do that?
Giles: I can. *revs chainsaw*

"Gotta love this job." *revs chainsaw*
Stella Bonasera, CSI: NY

"You'd be surprised how many of my transactions involve power tools."
Kenzi, Lost Girl


Billy solves his problems by calling up his mom
Heather solves her problems with drugs and alcohol
Daniel solves his problems with a doctor and the law
But Malcolm's got his own way and it's better than them all
Malcolm solves his problems with a chainsaw
Malcolm solves his problems with a chainsaw
Malcolm solves his problems with a chainsaw
And he never has the same problem twice!
The Arrogant Worms, "Malcolm"

Put down that chainsaw and listen to me!
"Weird Al" Yankovic, "Dare to be Stupid"

    Tabletop Games 

Problems? Problems? There is no problem I cannot solve with this...
— Attributed to Mad Chainsaw Johnson, Warhammer 40,000

You know, there's nothing like the feel of a chainsaw as it cuts right through to the soft part of the bone. The way the hard noise changes just slightly to a softer squishy sound. Aah, music to the ears...
Vampire: The Masquerade - D.C. By Night

    Video Games 

"A chainsaw! Find some meat!"

"Some people are born to use a chainsaw, others have chainsaws thrust upon them."

Nexus War, in-game description of the Chainsaw weapon

"A chainsaw? As if things weren't bad enough already!"
Sheva Alomar, Resident Evil 5

    Web Original 

"EVERY TUESDAY, EPIC MEAL TIME! Comin' at you with a chainsaw and a big pile o'meat! If you ain't down with that? THEN YOU AIN'T DOWN WITH COOKING!"
Harley Morenstein, Epic Meal Time

"Chainsaws historically have now probably been used more often against zombies in games than against wood in real life."
Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw, Zero Punctuation, on Left 4 Dead 2


Make your swords become like things unto chainsaws.
Glorious Chainsaw Method, 8-Bit Theater

Ethan: So we both have a bunch of little plastic men, right? and we move them manually. Then, when we fight, we roll dice and then do math to figure out who hits who. But there are no actual battles, or explosions. We use our imaginations like a couple of savages. It sounds almost as fun as chewing used medical syringes.
Lucas: These guys here have Chainsaw swords.
Ethan: This is the coolest game ever. Hurry up and figure out how to play so my little plastic dudes can chainsaw your little plastic dudes.

"As you prepare to leave the town, you- Uh, Lewis, are we boring you?"
"Nah, I was just thinking how Star Wars might've been cooler if they had chain saws intead of light sabers."

    Western Animation 

"Oh, Rico. Chainsaw's your answer to everything!"
Private, The Penguins of Madagascar, "I Was A Penguin Zombie"

Otto: I added the saws!
Sprx: You add saws to everything.