"I know you aspire to write stories with some complexity, Rockstar, and that players trying to have fun in your games must be very frustrating, but you kind of brought this on yourself when you decided that Tw@ would be a funny name for an internet cafe."
"How do you even begin to separate the horrible from the fanciful in this place anymore?"
Haley: We were a lot safer when we just made fairly obvious jokes about the rules!
Vaarsuvius: I blame Cerebus.
Robin: I pulled the drama tag, so we now get backstories, we get fleshed out personalities and become real people.
Amber: You're not making any sense. You're saying that pulling this thing you made up retroactively changed my past?
Amber: You're saying that solely because you did some imaginary thing, my earlier life rewrote itself to force me through a history of domestic abuse and violent relocation.
Amber: [Punches Robin]
Toy Story: A couple of toys get lost and then found. The only folks who cry are the animators who make 2D films as they watch their future crumble.
Toy Story 2: We watch as a toy is abandoned by her beloved owner and we get to see her heart shattered during a Sarah McLaughlin ballad. Tears flow like rain.
Toy Story 3: All our heroes learn that everything they love will eventually leave them behind. The demand for antidepressants for preschoolers skyrockets.
Toy Story 4: Woody is stabbed by a gang of rogue toys only to discover that his voice box has cancer. His death is very painful, it lasts 90 minutes, and Pixar shows the whole thing. No one ever smiles again.
Virus: Never turn a funny comic into a serious epic drama. We have a murder-suicide pact that says if we ever turn into a drama, we're going to end it all rather than inflict that on the world.
Eastwood: No, I said I was going to murder the rest of you, change my name and spend the rest of my days as a painter in Brazil.
Seriously, I'd make an effort to get out. The drama tag you pulled? We're looking at a limited lifespan here. Sure, it's manageable now, but soon you'll have backstories and love triangles and then love pentagons and then super-horrible secrets are revealed that change things forever... this store will end up so miserably emo that no sane being will be able to stand it. Everyone will just leave.
Head Alien, Shortpacked!
"At first, the comic was filled with silly one-shot stories and goofy jokes, but later on, all that fell by the wayside as a stronger and much more compelling storyline over took the series."
Dave: You want to break up? Where's this coming from?
Helen: Okay, the truth. I can't date because when I was a girl I saw my father commit suicide.
Dave: That makes no sense. And you don't have a father.
Helen: Okay ... I was sexually assaulted by my college fiance.
Dave: Wouldn't you have told me this before...
"Let's say, for sake of example, that you're sick of making Companion Cube jokes, and suddenly do a serious storyline about your female character having a miscarriage. Obviously, you'd need to have several blood clots in your brain to think this is a good idea; you're established as a wacky humour comic, so this is going to be an awkward tonal shift at best, and hugely disrespectful of the subject matter at worst."