Quotes: Black Comedy

"Do you know what's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit."
— Traditional

Fiction

"Girlfriend in a coma, I know, I know
It's really serious"

"You know those dreams you have when you're falling and you fade out just before you hit the ground? Those are great." *SPLAT*
Philip J. Fry, Futurama

Archer: Lana, that is the third saddest thing I've heard today.
[Beat]
Archer: Pam... told me about a little girl who drowned trying to save a puppy.
Lana: Jesus! What was the second saddest?
Archer: The puppy drowned too.
Archer

Dr. Young: That's horrible. How can you joke about something like that?
Riddler: Easily, doctor... it's not my baby.

Mac Namara crossed the street and by a bus was hit-
but he was just a Scotsman so nobody gave a shit...
— "Another Irish Drinking Song", by Da Vinci's Notebook

Real Life

"Tragedy is when I get a paper cut. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die."

"If you liked that AIDS joke, you're gonna love this AIDS joke."
Anthony Jeselnik

"We're gonna be corpses. Might as well be ridiculous looking corpses."
The Captain, Pictures For Sad Children, #372

"Oops. You trapped yourself. I guess that's it then. Thanks for testing. You may as well lie down and get acclimated to the being dead position."

(The doctor finds DECAPITATED HEADS in the freezer)
Idi Amin Dada: Every time there is a change in power, in Africa, 'A few heads must roll'.
Rise and Fall of Idi Amin

Law & Order: SVU would like to remind you that genital mutilation is no laughing matter. It is, however, an old vaudeville routine.
Joel McHale, The Soup

"There really is a lot of comedy in tragedy."

"If you can hijack a plane with a pair of tweezers, then frankly, you deserve that plane."
Ed Byrne

I cannot decide whether Tabby being dragged down the waste disposal chute is hilarious or mortifying so Iím erring on the side of caution. One watch and I'll heave with laughter at her fluffy slippers vanishing down the chute and another and I'll be burying my head in a cushion.

"Chris Rock was the host and since he does stand up, he did stand up for his opening monologue. I guess Chris Rock really wanted to make b-holes throb and split up with rage, because he got right into making jokes about the Boston Marathon bombing and then he skipped along Outrage Lane by joking about the Freedom Tower...Those people screaming 'BURN CHRIS ROCK AT THE STAKE!' on Twitter should just be grateful that he didnít sing and dance during his monologue like every other goddamn host does."
DListed, "Chris Rock Joked About The Boston Bombing And 9/11 On SNL And Of Course Some People Freaked Out About It"