Quotes / Black Comedy

"Do you know what's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit."
— Traditional

"Black humor is like food in Africa; not everyone is getting it."
— Traditional

Fiction

"Girlfriend in a coma, I know, I know
It's really serious"

"You know those dreams you have when you're falling and you fade out just before you hit the ground? Those are great." *SPLAT*
Philip J. Fry, Futurama

Archer: Lana, that is the third saddest thing I've heard today.
[Beat]
Archer: Pam... told me about a little girl who drowned trying to save a puppy.
Lana: Jesus! What was the second saddest?
Archer: The puppy drowned too.
Archer

Dr. Young: That's horrible. How can you joke about something like that?
Riddler: Easily, doctor... it's not my baby.

MacNamara crossed the street and by a bus was hit-
but he was just a Scotsman so nobody gave a shit...
— "Another Irish Drinking Song", by Da Vinci's Notebook

I saw an old man slip and fall-hey, what a fucking idiot!
I saw a woman at her daughter's funeral-ha ha ha! Classic comedy!
Everything that once was sad is somehow funny now!
The Holocaust and 9/11?
That shit's funny 24/7!
Cause tragedy will be exclusively joked about
Because my empathy is bumming me out.
Goodbye, sadness! Hello, jokes.
Bo Burnham, Sad

Oops. You trapped yourself. I guess that's it then. Thanks for testing. You may as well lie down and get acclimated to the being-dead position.
GLaDOS, Portal 2

Dr Chang: Are you going to kill me?
Missy: Now, come on, let's not dwell on horrid things. This is going to be our last conversation, and I'm the one who's going to have to live with that.
Doctor Who, "Dark Water"

Real Life

"Tragedy is when I get a paper cut. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die."

"If you liked that AIDS joke, you're gonna love this AIDS joke."
Anthony Jeselnik

"We're gonna be corpses. Might as well be ridiculous looking corpses."
The Captain, pictures for sad children, #372

(The doctor finds SEVERED HEADS in the freezer)
Idi Amin Dada: Every time there is a change in power, in Africa, 'A few heads must roll'.
Rise and Fall of Idi Amin

Law & Order: SVU would like to remind you that genital mutilation is no laughing matter. It is, however, an old vaudeville routine.
Joel McHale, The Soup

"There really is a lot of comedy in tragedy."

"If you can hijack a plane with a pair of tweezers, then frankly, you deserve that plane."
Ed Byrne

I cannot decide whether Tabby being dragged down the waste disposal chute is hilarious or mortifying so I’m erring on the side of caution. One watch and I'll heave with laughter at her fluffy slippers vanishing down the chute and another and I'll be burying my head in a cushion.

"Chris Rock was the host and since he does stand up, he did stand up for his opening monologue. I guess Chris Rock really wanted to make b-holes throb and split up with rage, because he got right into making jokes about the Boston Marathon bombing and then he skipped along Outrage Lane by joking about the Freedom Tower...Those people screaming 'BURN CHRIS ROCK AT THE STAKE!' on Twitter should just be grateful that he didn’t sing and dance during his monologue like every other goddamn host does."
DListed, "Chris Rock Joked About The Boston Bombing And 9/11 On SNL And Of Course Some People Freaked Out About It"

“In the event our airline becomes a cruise line, life jackets can be found under your seats.”
“If you can’t take any more of my jokes, we have six emergency exits: two in the front of the plane, two over the wings, and two in the back of the aircraft.”
“In the seat back compartment in front of you, who knows what you will find. But there will be a card with safety instructions on it.”
“If the plane loses pressure, oxygen masks will fall from the overhead compartments. Oxygen is four dollars for the first five minutes, and two dollars a minute after that. We accept Visa, Mastercard, and American Express. If you have a child, please stop screaming long enough to put on your mask first. If you have two children, now’s a good time to choose your favorite. They’ll support you through retirement.”
“Federal regulations prohibit the destruction of smoke detectors, video cameras, and two-way mirrors in aircraft lavatories.”
“Sit back and relax, or lean forward and be tense, we’re prepared for takeoff. Thanks to those of you who listened; the rest of you are on your own.”
Excerpts from a Southwest Airlines pre-flight safety speech


http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Quotes/BlackComedy