Lana: Stuporman...!! What do you think you're doing?
Superman: Hey, I saved your goofy kid's life, remember?!? So what say we do some "huffing" and "puffing" in earnest... huh...??!
Lana: I thought you were different from the other horny guys in this town!
Superman: I am! I'm SUPER horny!
Torg: SAM! HELP! SAM!!!
Torg: SAM! SAM, HELP! SHE'S GONNA KILL ME!
Torg rips the vampiress's top.
Torg: HELP! NAKED-VAMPIRESS-WARDROBE-MALFUNCTION!
Sam crashes through the wall
Sam: Sampire to the rescue!
<+Radial> i think my mother knows i watch porn
<+Radial> i can't tell...
<Tsukari> Are you a male?
<+Radial> i am
<Tsukari> She knows.
Six months of all encompassing fantasies involving life-size cutouts of a Swedish bikini team and a turkey baster? How bad could that be?
The condition is experienced by a very small portion of the population, and of those the vast majority are male. We'd like to pretend to be shocked by that fact, but really who are we kidding?
—Cracked on paraphilia, one of 5 Bizarre Sexual Conditions That Can Ruin Your Life
Women say they have sexual thoughts too. They have no idea. If they knew what we were really thinking, they'd never stop slapping us.
"Its funny how a man only thinks about the BEEP. You got a real big heart but I'm looking at ya BEEP. You got real big brains but I'm looking at ya BEEP. Girl it ain't no pain me looking at ya BEEP."
—The Pussycat Dolls, BEEP
If a man could fuck a woman in a cardboard box, he wouldn't buy a house.
Now, I don't wish to imply that I don't care about sex or think about it. Hell, if I dedicated all the time I spend thinking about sex to, say, learning Italian, I would've been fluent by the end of the seventh grade. Dustin Eddlebeck, on the other hand, is just plain sick.
—Leon Harris, How to Get Suspended and Influence People
Danbei Makiba: "Not matter what, all men are wolves".
It's true. Guys don't need a relationship as long as they're having sex.
And women don't need sex... as long as they're having chocolate!
—Comedian Glen Foster
Girl: I could never go out with a guy who looks at porn.
Slick: Have fun being a lesbian.
"Oh come on. [Jack and Chuck] are two guys somewhere between 27 and 50 who are in Vegas. How could we NOT go to a Strip Bar at least once?"
—Chuck, We Are Our Avatars
Max: How am I doing?
Tavi: Stop looking down Lady Erusmus's bodice.
Max: I did not!
Tavi: Yes you did. Stop it.
Max: Tavi, I'm a young man. Some things just aren't in my control.
—Codex Alera Book Two, Academ's Fury
"You men! You filthy, dirty pigs! You're all the same, all of you. Pigs! Pigs!"
Dr. Macphail gasped. He understood.
—"Rain" by W. Somerset Maugham, final lines
"A man is basically as faithful as his options."
—Chris Rock, Bigger and Blacker
Garrus: So, Liara - is this the T'Soni-Shepard love nest? Hope we aren't interrupting anything you two might've been...planning.
Liara: Whatever the species, males never change, do they?
Samara: Perhaps it's a good thing we asari don't have any.
Haruka Kotoura: "You're... not scared?"
Yoshihisa Manabe: "Sure I'm scared! You're going to treat me like a total pervert!"