Quotes / All Men Are Perverts

Lana: Stuporman...!! What do you think you're doing?
Superman: Hey, I saved your goofy kid's life, remember?!? So what say we do some "huffing" and "puffing" in earnest... huh...??!
Lana: I thought you were different from the other horny guys in this town!
Superman: I am! I'm SUPER horny!
MAD's parody of Superman III

Torg: SAM! HELP! SAM!!!
Torg rips the vampiress's top.
Sam crashes through the wall
Sam: Sampire to the rescue!

<+Radial> i think my mother knows i watch porn
<+Radial> i can't tell...
<Tsukari> Are you a male?
<+Radial> i am
<Tsukari> She knows.

Six months of all encompassing fantasies involving life-size cutouts of a Swedish bikini team and a turkey baster? How bad could that be?

The condition is experienced by a very small portion of the population, and of those the vast majority are male. We'd like to pretend to be shocked by that fact, but really who are we kidding?

Women say they have sexual thoughts too. They have no idea. If they knew what we were really thinking, they'd never stop slapping us.
Larry Miller

"Its funny how a man only thinks about the *BEEP*. You got a real big heart but I'm looking at ya *BEEP*. You got real big brains but I'm looking at ya *BEEP*. Girl it ain't no pain me looking at ya *BEEP*."

If a man could fuck a woman in a cardboard box, he wouldn't buy a house.

Now, I don't wish to imply that I don't care about sex or think about it. Hell, if I dedicated all the time I spend thinking about sex to, say, learning Italian, I would've been fluent by the end of the seventh grade. Dustin Eddlebeck, on the other hand, is just plain sick.

Danbei Makiba: "Not matter what, all men are wolves".

It's true. Guys don't need a relationship as long as they're having sex.
And women don't need sex... as long as they're having chocolate!
—Comedian Glen Foster

Girl: I could never go out with a guy who looks at porn.
Slick: Have fun being a lesbian.

Talbot: You don't understand. Every night when the moon is full, I turn into a wolf!
Wilbur: You and twenty million other guys!

"Oh come on. [Jack and Chuck] are two guys somewhere between 27 and 50 who are in Vegas. How could we NOT go to a Strip Bar at least once?"

Max: How am I doing?
Tavi: Stop looking down Lady Erusmus's bodice.
Max: I did not!
Tavi: Yes you did. Stop it.
Max: Tavi, I'm a young man. Some things just aren't in my control.
Codex Alera Book Two, Academ's Fury

"You men! You filthy, dirty pigs! You're all the same, all of you. Pigs! Pigs!"
Dr. Macphail gasped. He understood.
—"Rain" by W. Somerset Maugham, final lines

"A man is basically as faithful as his options."
Chris Rock, Bigger and Blacker

Garrus: So, Liara - is this the T'Soni-Shepard love nest? Hope we aren't interrupting anything you two might've been...planning.
Liara: Whatever the species, males never change, do they?
Samara: Perhaps it's a good thing we asari don't have any.
Yoshihisa Manabe:(overly reacting) "Not being able to think dirty thoughts is torture for a guy!"
Haruka Kotoura: "You're... not scared?"
Yoshihisa Manabe: "Sure I'm scared! You're going to treat me like a total pervert!"
Kotoura-san episode 1, after Manabe confirmed Haruka is a Telepath.

Nine: "Listen, Celica. I'm going to explain this to you one more time. Any man who acts nicely around a cute and innocent little girl like you probably has one thing on their mind. And this pathetic excuse for a man is no exception. It would be best for society if I just took him out of the gene pool right here."
Bloodedge: "You can't just say whatever the hell you want about me! Keep that up and I'll make you pay for it!"
Nine: "A punk like you would have problems with the truth!"
Nine and Bloodedge's first meeting, Blazblue

Kate Beckett: Ahem. What's the deal with men and boobs, anyway?
Rick Castle: Biological. We can't help it.
Beckett: But doesn't it bother you that they're so obviously not real?
Castle: Santa's not real. We still love opening his presents.
— "A Death in the Family", Castle

Maven: Haelga, I like you, so I'm only going to say this one time. If you ever try and "practice the Dibellan arts" with Hemming again, I'll make sure that pretty little face loses its beauty.
Haelga:He wasn't protesting, Maven.
Maven: Of course he wasn't, you stupid whore; he's a man.

Women are pretty equal with guys, but need to have love and tenderness to go with it. Of course we want sex sometimes, you know just one night stands and flings can be just as good for us as they can be for guys, some of the time. I think we go a little deeper than guys can.
Cindy Margolis