"Asshole Court is a biweekly podcast in which a group of lifelong friends choose a controversial public figure, and examine their history through available public records and various publications, to determine if that person is as much of an asshole as the general public suspects. We rate the subjects on a not-so-scientific scale ranging from Mr. Rogers to Hitler, (1-11), and average out the three scores in the end for our final number. Just a reminder, our judgment has no legal weight, is strictly an opinion, and is subject to change at any time. Especially in the case of new evidence. It shouldn’t be taken seriously, so, just don’t."
— The show's opener/disclaimer
Asshole Court (also known as AHC Podcast) is a comedy podcast hosted by three longtime friends who research and discuss the backstory, life, and accomplishments/controversy of a particularly notorious public figure and rate them on the aforementioned scale of one to eleven. Particularly loathsome individuals, such as those who have committed murder, hate crimes, and/or egregious sexual misconduct tend to end up on the higher end of the scale, while those who may be disagreeable personalities but do not have a record of heinous acts can end on the lower end of the scale. In most episodes, baseline scores are given by the hosts based on their preexisting knowledge and/or preliminary research of the show subject in question; these are often compared to the final scores given at the end of the show.
AHC Podcast Hosts
- Randy: One of the main narrators who usually assumes the leadership role of the podcast.
- Mikey: The other main narrator that often serves as Comic Relief.
- Buddy: The third host that provides color commentary and also announces the Preshow and Final Asshole scores.
Provides examples of:
- The Alleged Car: Buddy’s 1984 Nissan Sentra
- Bait-and-Switch: Probably Mikey's favorite narrative technique. As he narrates the biography of a show subject, he'll drop an outlandish but possibly true anecdote (i.e. Vladimir Putin was Joseph Stalin's love child) to hook Randy, Mikey, and possibly the audience into falling for it before dropping "I'm just kidding" and giving the real, harsh truth about the subject.
- Zigzagged in the GG Allin episode, when Buddy and Randy thought that Allin being christened "Jesus Christ Allin" was another Mikey fabrication. That turned out to be real, although Mikey did immediately trick them into thinking Allin got that name after his father burnt himself with a cigarette and yelled "JESUS CHRIST!" in front of the hospital clerk filling out the birth certificate.
- The Big Guy: Randy played high school football and many references have been made to his size.
- Mikey has said that Randy has a neck "the size of a firestone tire"
- Black Comedy: Just about every episode, but they generally are good about not stepping too far over the line.
- Call-Back: Previous episodes and show subjects are constantly referenced, usually during the pre and post-show scoring segments.
- Convicted by Public Opinion: The basic premise of the show is 3 guys using public sources and personal opinions to judge how much of a Jerkass someone is.
- Deadly Book: Or podcast in this case. Fans have noticed that Meat Loaf, Louie Anderson, and Lisa Marie Presley all died within days of being briefly mentioned on the show.
- Averted with Bob Saget, who had died a few days before he was brought up in the Kid Rock episode. Randy made sure to say "RIP Bob" to keep the fans from freaking out.
- Jerry Springer died literally a month after his episode aired.
- Mikey mentioned The Smiths in the Elvis Presley episode that aired May 20, 2023. Andy Rourke, the bass player for The Smiths, died one day before that episode aired.
- Deadpan Snarker: All of the guys to a certain degree.
- Delinquent: Mikey admits that he was a disruptive nightmare in high school.
- Didn't See That Coming: Pretty much the recurring statement in the final quarter of the Tila Tequila episode. Buddy kept saying “I did not see that coming” repeatedly
- Disappeared Dad: A common theme in many episodes is the subject growing up without a dad or regular father figure.
- Dude, Not Funny!: Although the guys have an irreverent and occasionally not-PC sense of humor, they have zero tolerance for racist/homophobic comments from their subjects.
- Early-Installment Weirdness:
- Randy’s demeanor was considerably different in the early episodes, speaking in a much quieter tone than the upbeat persona he has taken on.
- Pre-show asshole scores were not consistently tallied, and if they were they were just stated but not averaged out. If they were averaged out, Buddy was not the one that announced them.
- Early show subjects ranged from dictators to crime lords such as John Gotti. Most of the more recent episodes are about contemporary pop culture figures, as most show suggestions come from the listening base.
- The '80s: When the boys grew up, so many references are made.
- Everyone Has Standards: Murder, spousal/child abuse, and sexual assault are guaranteed ways to get your Asshole Score raised.
- Mikey has forced Buddy and Randy to watch a documentary about GG Allin on separate occasions. Buddy lasted 5 minutes before turning it off in disgust after watching Allin place various oblong objects into his rectum. Randy managed to watch the whole thing but found it disturbing and traumatizing years after the fact. (Keep in mind that this is the guy who unironically loves watching trashy reality and talk shows.)
- Formula-Breaking Episode: The Dolly Parton episode; the boys intentionally did an episode about someone who had no controversy attached to them in order to get 2023 off to a positive start.
- Gasshole: Randy has admitted to crop-dusting his employees at work.
- Get-Rich-Quick Scheme: Lampshaded - In his youth football days, Randy and his teammates ran a scam when they sold candy bars for their football team at $2 instead of the standard $1. The main goal was not to pocket the profits but to give them an excuse to eat a candy bar themselves for free.
- Mikey called it the “dumbest scam I ever heard in my life.”
- Guilty Pleasure: Subverted - Randy loves watching trashy reality and tabloid TV and is not afraid to admit it.
- Happily Married: All the guys have been married for years and always speak fondly of their wives.
- Hate Sink: Nancy Grace is a popular reoccurring target.
- Heterosexual Life-Partners: The guys are described as “lifelong friends” and hang out regularly outside the show.
- The Hyena: Buddy has the most distinctive and prominent laugh
- I Hate Past Me: All of the guys, especially Mikey, admit to probably being assholes themselves when they were younger.
- Irrational Hatred: Mikey has been known to use “I don’t like their face” as part of his scoring rationale.
- Jerkass: The whole point of the show is to determine how big of a Jerkass each celebrity is.
- Laughably Evil: Although the boys (especially Randy) had major issues with Osama bin Laden during his episode, they greatly enjoyed the ending portion where Mikey read through the contents that were found on Bin Ladens' hard drive after his death, including multiple Tom and Jerry cartoons, knitting tutorials, and even hentai.
- Law Procedural: The name of the show, although very few legal/courtroom terms ever get used.
- Manchild: Mikey is probably the best example of this, but all 3 hosts are unabashedly juvenile in their humor.
- The Movie Buff: Buddy is a self-proclaimed graduate of "Blockbuster University" and any films or movies about the show subject are his usual point of reference.
- Music/Age Dissonance: Despite being a Gen Xer, Mikey loves modern (and old school) hip hop.
- Nice Guy: All three hosts are relatable and friendly. In addition, they take time each episode to thank and express their gratitude towards the fans, and sometimes give shoutouts to fans going through a challenging time.
- Buddy in particular is so down-to-earth and happy to do the show, you can’t help but love him. It doesn’t hurt that he never breaks his moral code when rating the show subjects.
- Noodle Incident: There have been occasional references to “the best summer ever”, but they never really give details about it why it was.
- Nostalgia Filter: Subverted - The guys often look back fondly on the quality of things and media they enjoyed in their youth, although they don’t always view them as superior.
- Number of the Beast: Appropriately, the final score for Anton Levay, the founder of the Church of Satan, was 6.66. This was purely accidental, and the boys insist that they did not plan that ahead of time.
- Only Known by Their Nickname: Buddy’s real name has never been revealed.
- Open Mouth, Insert Foot: Almost every episode will have a couple of instances of one of the guys saying something completely embarrassing or would be embarrassing if taken out of context.
- Self-Deprecation: None of the guys take themselves seriously and will often spend time voluntarily talking about their various weaknesses and poor judgment.
- Shout-Out: Practically every episode may mention other podcasts, the host’s families, as well as fans that suggest show ideas.
- Shown Their Work: All of the facts on an episode come from publicly available records/articles, which are helpfully cited in the episode description.
- Sir Swears-a-Lot: All 3 hosts, hence why Patreon considers them “explicit.”
- Sudden Downer Ending: The Ron Jeremy episode started off with a lot of levity, highlighted with Randy showing Buddy a picture he found of Jeremy performing self-fellatio. By the time the show had recapped the various sexual assault charges against Jeremy, the mood changed quite severely.
- Mikey said Randy sounded like he just watched the ending of Schindler's List.
- Thanking the Viewer: Or listener in this case. Randy ends each episode thanking you for listening, especially if you’re a Patreon supporter.
- Thanksgiving Episode: The boys did an episode on the Pilgrims in November 2020.
- That Came Out Wrong: So many examples, perhaps the best is this quote from Randy in the Miley Cyrus episode: “You ever feel weird looking at a 14-year-old boy?”
- Toilet Humour: In practically every episode. The Mama June episode is perhaps the most infamous example.
- True Companions: The guys have been friends for their entire lives and are very close.
- Unexpectedly Dark Episode: The Tila Tequila episode after she embraced Nazisim following a drug-induced brain hemorrhage.
- "Well Done, Son" Guy: Mikey has tried to get his father to listen to the show, but he disapproves of the juvenile humor that is often present in each episode. He wouldn't even listen to the Vladimir Putin episode despite his interest in geopolitical affairs.
- Randy's mom and Buddy's dad, on the other hand, have been known to listen fairly regularly.
Until next time, remember the golden rule and don't be an asshole. Or you might find yourself on Asshole Court."
