"Shine on Me" is a song by Chris Dane Owens (son of Laugh In announcer Gary Owens) from his album Blue Stone. An 80s love song made in 2008, under most circumstances it would just be thrown in the Guilty Pleasures pile without another look. But that was before Owens, armed with a budget that he's too embarrassed to admit, footage from other movies, a green screen, Robert Short
and a Porn Stache, created an incomprehensible mess of a music video jammed with as many over-the-top fantasy cliches as possible.
And by "fantasy cliches", we mean all the evil sirens, dragons, assorted swashbuckling, stallions, fair maidens, floating fair maidens, glowing books, ghosts, goths, an electric guitar, sculpted body armour, sculpted body armor nipples, explosions, pirate ships, exploding pirate ships, a Legolas lookalike, a Dr. Doom lookalike, witches, hot witches in catsuits, spinning crystals, dragons, Stonehenge, awful bluescreen effects and an alligator. ... well, by now it's safe to say it's made of pure awesome. And cheese.
Was Cracked.com's #1 for the "6 Worst Professional Music Video" (of course Swaim ends up saying "Who am I kidding, this video is fucking amazing" at the end) and won The New Yorker's "Video Of The Year" award.
It can be watched here.
Compare with its full-length feature film, Empire Queen: The Golden Age of Magic, released on January 25, 2024.
This music video contains examples of:
- All There in the Manual:
- My character is part of the witches' kingdom, which is the second kingdom. I'm actually part of their army and an enforcer, a general, if you will. I meet that young lady Arra who is secretly being trained by the angels and they hand her a book. That book is the book of golden symbols which can only be understood by the spirit, by the living soul. She's being trained secretly to be the queen of this realm, to overthrow the forces of darkness. My character actually meets her and falls in love with her and decides to leave the dark side, so he has an epiphany.
- He happily explains the video and the sequel here. The way he talks about it, it almost makes sense.
- Artifacts of Doom
- Back from the Dead: Resurrection apparently involves ripping your shirt off while blinding light bursts out of your chest.
- Badass Cape: Both Chris Dane Owens's character and the masked assailant wear capes.
- Chroma Key: Abused like a bag of free heroin.
- Circle of Standing Stones: Near the end of the video, Arra is seen walking towards a circular stone structure in the middle of the forest.
- Cool Horse
- Cool Sword: so cool, it actually looks uncannily like a Franklin Mint reproduction.
- Creepy Cemetery: The three witches are seen floating over the graves of a dimly-lit cemetery. Some ghosts also appear in the same scene.
- Cue the Sun
- Dragons Versus Knights: The music video's setting seems to be a cross between Medieval European Fantasy and Standard Fantasy Setting, so this is a given. In a scene, Owens jumps over a ravine in the forest, in hopes of outrunning the fiery breath of a flying dragon.
- Dull Surprise: Everyone has an unchanging slack-jawed stare.
- Epic Rocking
- Everything's Better with Sparkles: Owens fights off a menacing swarm of blue sparkles.
- Fantastic Fireworks: Earlier in the music video, fireworks explode in the night sky, and Owens and Arra are dancing together. At the end of the video, both are sailing away from a port, and one of the angels/fairies blows some magic from her hands and another set of fireworks appears.
- Femme Fatale: Femme Fatale goths with catsuits and magical powers.
- Fantasy Kitchen Sink
- In the Hood: The masked assailant wears a black hood and cape ensemble.
- Light Is Good: The redheaded Love Interest / female protagonist (called Arra) is first seen wearing a white hood, and, in another scene, she is wearing a light blue dress with a light pink sash. The three angels/fairies are also seen in a scene floating over a river and carrying wands/torches.
- Magic Knight: The three witches are seen in a scene walking towards the screen wielding swords. In other shots, they cast their spells with wands or with their hands.
- Malevolent Masked Men: A masked assailant with a hood seems to be the main antagonist of the music video, since he appears in one-on-one combat scenes against Chris Dane Owens's character (in the forest and in the ice palace). An unconscious Arra is also seen in his arms in another scene.
- Matte Shot: Also abused.
- Never Smile at a Crocodile: In a scene, a crocodile is seen and lashes out with his head.
- Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot: Arguably, the main character, considering he goes from pirate to plate-armored knight in the space of four minutes.
- Nipple and Dimed: About a minute in. Whoops.
- Ominous Fog: Near the beginning of the video, a ship sails through a deep mist.
- Our Dragons Are Different: A squad of dragons are seen flying next to a castle in a scene, then in another they pass in front of the moon.
- Pirates: Just because. In a scene, Owens is marching with three other men in nautical garb, the one on his right wearing a captain's hat.
- Pointy Ears
- Porn Stache
- Pretty in Mink: In the scene where someone places a crown or garland on Arra's head, she is wearing a fur-trimmed cape.
- Rule of Cool
- Rule of Three: The three evil witches; the three fairies/angels.
- Scenery Porn: Tons of it.
- Slippy-Slidey Ice World: Complete with a frozen dragon carcass and random ice castle.
- Snow Means Love: Owens and Arra are seen running through a wintry forest, and later riding on a carriage together through a snowy scenario.
- Spell Book: One of the angels gifts Arra with a magic book. When she opens it, it emits light to her face.
- Stock Footage: Half the scenes are ripped from other movies.
- Stuff Blowing Up
- Tagline: "Love has enemies".
- Weather Manipulation: The way the music video is edited, it appears the three witches join their wands to cast a spell, and, in the next scenes, a storm rages on the sea, sinks Chris Dane Owens's character's ship and he drowns.
Love has enemies
