Hints Are For Losers
"If all else fails, you'll just have to play better."A Video Game trope related to Easy-Mode Mockery, this is when a game (or related media, such as the instruction manual) taunts players trying to find help, either by inserting useless "hints" sections that only insult the player, by not providing help at all or by telling you to play the game like a real man if it does provide some sort of tips. Especially common in older games, where it would be followed by an invitation to check out the new fancy Strategy Guide for only $50! Contrast Stop Helping Me!, when you're sick of the game giving you hints all the time. See also Easy-Mode Mockery.
— Cranky, Donkey Kong 64 manual
- The manual of Brataccas intentionally leaves several details vague, instead telling you to check a specific page for more details. However, when you get to that page, it only says, "This page was intentionally left blank.".
- Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest has a section in the manual called "Cranky's Hint", but there, Cranky just laughs at you and tell you to buy the Nintendo Power guide instead. Donkey Kong 64's manual is equally unhelpful.
- Within the game itself, the last hint you can buy from Wrinkly Kong is "All but one of my hints are useful to you." Her hint for the final boss battle is "Make sure you have plenty of lives!"
- The SNES version of Home Improvement infamously didn't come with a proper manual, but instead a joke "manual" which just opens up to a huge fake sticker stuck over everything with the sentence "real men don't need manuals" on it.
- Scarab Of Ra offers hints on request, but makes you confirm the request four times per hint. Note that clicking Yes to the third question will force you to start the process over.
Do you really want a hint?[long pause]You really should try to solve this on your own. Still want a hint?[longer pause]Wouldn't it be more fun to figure it out by yourself?[short pause]Last chance to be a hero. Still want that hint?
- Played with in Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts, where one of the hints shown on loading screens tells you that if you haven't gotten any better from reading the hints, you should just stop being so rubbish.
- In Push-Over, you get hints if you stay on a level for too long. The hint for level 19 is "Figure it out yourself".
- Early on in Crystalis, you learned the Telepathy spell, which could be used to contact one of the four Sages for a hint, though every now and then the "hint" you got would be along the lines of "Leave me alone, figure it out yourself!" (especially if you chose to contact Kensu).
- The tutorial for the Spider-Man 2 video game has a voiceover that tells you to do Spider-Man-like things (like jump off buildings) and then mocks you for jumping off a building just because someone suggested it.
- Amusingly, he'll stop his insult partway through and say a different line if you put out a web-line before he finishes his insult. And if you crawl down the building, he'll berate you for not following along and reset your location, though that also means he won't mock you for jumping afterwards.
- If you consult Dr. Wright too often in the SNES SimCity, he'll get fed up and tell you to make your own decisions.
- The Dr. Brain series has the ability to get hints for the puzzles, but it'll count against your end of game score if you use them. In the case of the third game, it'll reduce the value of that puzzle if the hint is specific enough, meaning you'll need to solve an extra puzzle to complete the region.
- Infocom's InvisiClues — a clue book with (yes) invisible clues, to be developed as needed by the player with an invisible ink pen — used this to avoid spoilers. The clues came in the form of visible questions with several invisible answers, each more specific than the last — but some of the questions were completely irrelevant to the game, and accordingly, came with answers to the effect of "maybe you should play the game before reading the hints". Some of them can be read on the Quote page.
- In Infocom's Text Adventure games Sherlock: Riddle of the Crown Jewels and Arthur: The Quest for Excalibur, you could ask Sherlock and Merlin, respectively, for hints, but they'd express disappointment in you if you did ("*sigh* Very well, Watson; if you must").
- Plants vs. Zombies has a hint screen written by the zombies. The game has a proper tutorial.
- In Runescape, using guide mode in dungeoneering skill will yield you less experience per floor completed.
- Borderline example: In Batman: Arkham Asylum, progress far enough in the Riddler's fetch quest, and he'll start accusing you of looking up the locations on the internet.
- The hint books for Space Quest series contain several fake hints; if the player looks them up, he is berated for spoiling the game for himself by reading ahead. The hint books can be read at SpaceQuest.Net.
- In killer7, a remnant psyche named Yoon-Hyun offers cryptic hints for some of the game's puzzles. You can also shoot his mask and give him an offering of blood, after which he'll give you a much clearer hint...and becomes much more rude, calling the player a loser and flipping them off with both hands.
- Claimed to be the case by the manual in The 7th Guest, but ultimately averted: in spite of a warning that using the in-game hint book (which, will, if consulted enough, automatically solve a given puzzle) will lead to dire consequences, such as having vital doors in the house locked and making the game Unwinnable, no actual penalty is incurred.
- Splapp-Me-Do has posted a rich text walkthrough of The Impossible Quiz available for download. Be prepared to be called a cheater if you open it, though.
- An old Freeware game called Maze Maker had a hint option, but using it too often would cause Maze Maker to warn you. If you used it again too soon, it would disable hints altogether.
- Occasionally Professor Layton puzzles will do this, though this is usually only the case for puzzles where it would be hard to come up with a good hint anyway.
- One of the hints on the extremely long loading screen of Duke Nukem Forever is oh so helpful: If you're having trouble, avoid bullets (paraphrased).
- Or that if you're having trouble, you could always just look up a guide on the internet.
- Sonic Adventure games:
- In the original Sonic Adventure, the B-rank missions of Knuckles' levels involve him getting the Master Emerald Shards without using any hintballs whatsoever. Touch one hintball and you're immediately disqualified from earning the Emblem.
- The Master Emerald Shard hunts were retained for Knuckles and Rouge's levels in Sonic Adventure 2. Finding the Master Emerald Shard (or Door Key or Chaos Emerald) in a short amount of time without using any hint monitors would earn you a Perfect 2000-point bonus. In Rouge's Mad Space level, the hint monitors are reversed, as the hints either say the opposite of where the Emerald Shard really is, or are literally written backwards.
- Freeware MS-DOS game Modern Problems had a hint for most levels, but for the last Worm level, it says sorry, but you're on your own.
- Blazblue has a segment called 'Help Me, Professor Kokonoe!' intended to take the piss out of itself and provide a hint for the players who got the bad ending of their story. Professor Kokonoe starts off the intro by telling the people who will look for flowcharts online to piss off.