An as yet unfinished, sort-of Affectionate Parody of sci-fi kitsch written by The Lyniezian just for a bit of fun, mostly whilst sat in the pub waiting for the bus.
In the 29th century, Space Princess Lucidity Morningstar of the space colony Eta Carinae Prime is out trying to rescue her hapless fiance Arty, a refugee from the 20th century, from her rival Lady Estrella Marcia the Third of Neptunia Secunda, who is about to feed him to her pet Fluffy, all whilst trying to deal with Estrella's army of Dog-Men and a barbarian named Marieka.
Part 1 may be found here
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Tropes found in this story include:
- Action Girl: Lucidity, Marieka and others.
- Amazonian Beauty, Statuesque Stunner: Lucidity, a well-honed specimen standing at 7'2" tall. (She was originally 6'2" but having her that tall seemed funnier.)
- Amazon Brigade: Lucidity's "elite bodyguard" (deceased). Lady Estrella probably has her own.
- Amazon Chaser: Arty, clearly.
- Anti-Hero: Lucidity is the named protagonist, out to rescue her fiance, but engages in plenty of morally questionable behaviour.
- Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: The content warning at the beginning:There is also other general violence, death and some mildly adult humour. You have been warned.
- Author Appeal: There's a fair bit of it in there, though even that's intended as Self-Parody. Ironically none of it involves Stripperiffic outfits.
- Body Backup Drive: Lucidity is quite capable of teleporting a spare clone to the scene when killed by Marieka. (It's possible Estrella has one as well, but the other characters don't enjoy that luxury. Hence the need for the rescue.)
- Braids of Barbarism: Marieka's hairstyle- well, a braided bun anyway (it's meant to be practical).
- Chained to a Bed: Where we first see Arty, complete with stock protests that it's Not What It Looks Like.
- Content Warnings: The author's note at the beginning of the blog posting, which makes clear the author doesn't condone things like partner abuse in real life.note
- Creator In-Joke:
- Marieka the barbarian is the author's D&D character, as well as the subject of a couple of other "travesties".
- "Arty" was meant to be a reference to a character called Arthur Michaelson from another unpublished story idea, The Ma'chandra Chronicles, who (in one of the aforementioned "travesties") is portrayed as a struggling writer implied to write this kind of thing. The joke being this is an in-universe Self-Insert Fic or possible dream of his.
- Marieka the barbarian is the author's D&D character, as well as the subject of a couple
- Deliberate Values Dissonance: Lampshaded when Arty contemplates (or, at least, would have contemplated if he wasn't so insensible) that the way Lucidity treats him might have counted as abuse back in the 20th century.
- Distressed Dude: Arty; in a deliberate though not-exactly-original subversion of the cliches it's meant to be parodying, it's the princess saving her male lover rather than the other way round.
- Domestic Abuse: Lucidity is rather fond of zapping Arty with her Wand of Principality, even when that isn't a good idea. He knows very well to expect it.
- Electric Torture: Lucidity's preferred method of discipline.
- Elite Mooks: Lucidity's Amazon Brigade. They end up equally as dead as the Dog-Men when the story begins, though.
- Exactly What It Says on the Tin: Features a character called Princess Lucidity, who is trying to rescue her fiancee.
- Fed to the Beast: Estrella was planning to feed Arty to her pet monster Fluffy. It's implied this is a rather common thing she does with people.
- Fetishized Abuser: Lucidity's habit of electrically torturing Arty is lampshaded by the narrative.
- Find Out Next Time: At the end of part 1, meant as a sort of homage/parody of its use in cheesy serials and TV shows.
- Fluffy the Terrible: What Estrella feeds her enemies to. And yes, he literally is called Fluffy.
- Genetic Engineering Is the New Nuke: How Lucidity is explained as getting her strength, along with Training from Hell.
- Historical In-Joke: The fact that Lucidity's styling includes the term "First Lady"- based on the origin of her title in the Latin word princeps meaning "the first".
- Ironic Name: Lampshaded when Lucidity ends up being javelinned to death and reflects, in her "final" moments that perhaps she wasn't quite so lucid as her name implies, having wasted so much time torturing Arty and trying to drag him to his feet that she left no time to actually make an escape.
- Mooks: The Dog-Men, genetically-engineered hybrids which exist only to be laser-fodder.
- Lampshade Hanging: Several examples.
- Mecha: May or may not appear in Part 2, as piloted by Lady Estrella's Elite Mooks.
- Nubile Savage: Deliberately averted in Marieka's case- she's portrayed as somewhat rough looking. Although the text could be read in such a way that whatever she's wearing, there ain't much of it.
- Pelts of the Barbarian: Marieka's outfit incorporates this.
- Position of Literal Power: Implied with Lucidity, whose incredible strength and fighting ability is is explained as the result of genetic engineering. And if that's not enough, her parephenalia of office comes equipped with a built in electric shock device.
- Princess Protagonist: You can probably tell from the title that the main character, Lucidity, is a Princess and is involved in some attempted heroics. You probably won't be too disappointed.
- Princesses Rule: Lucidity is ruler of her space colony.
- Requisite Royal Regalia: Lucidity has a bejewelled band around her forehead and carries her Wand of Principality with her to zap people with.
- Save the Princess: Inverted: the princess is saving her male love interest.
- Staff of Authority: Lucidity's Wand of Principality.
- Stripperiffic: Lucidity's costume is "little more than an iridescent silver halter-top and matching hotpants" accessorized with utility belt and Requisite Royal Regalia. Meant as parody.
- Tiny Guy, Huge Girl: Implied, at least by comparison. Lucidity is 7'2" tall with Amazonian build, Arty is apparently a fairly average, to somewhat wimpy, 20th century person.
- To Serve Man: Lady Estrella's pet monster Fluffy (who may or may not be sapient) likes to be fed humans, especially (it seems) live ones.
- World of Action Girls: Pretty much anyone who kicks serious ass in this story is female.
