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Glasses, a crowbar
And a PhD that he Never gets to use. — Tacitus
Quiet protagonist I can see what you did there Checking out her ass. — X-File
Headcrabs everywhere The only solution here Crowbar them to death. Plot for Half-Life 2 Written with many haikus Warning of Spoilers Seven hour war Humanity has fallen Freeman is our hope A red letter day Boarding Nova Prospekt train Freeman has returned Get to Kleiner's lab Housing complex is raided Miscount detected Get help from Alyx Decision to leave the city Teleport testing Teleport gone wrong Civil Protection abound Here is your crowbar Trainyard to canals Combine in over their heads Gordon cuts a swath Airboat for transport Resistance is mounting fast Hunter Chopper down Safety finally Made it to Black Mesa East Freeman gets The Gun Combine sneak attack Tunnel collapse cuts you off Go through Ravenholm Zombies are coming Once more, Gordon cuts a swath "To the mine, brother!" Ascending from hell Dodge the snipers and soldiers Winston has gone down Catching a breather Alyx relays the bad news Eli was captured Take the dune buggy Station Six to Lighthouse Point Freeman is coming Highway Seventeen Barricades and ambushes Break through to freedom Pin guard to billboard Shut down the force field power Climb under the bridge Arrive at Lighthouse Repel the the Combine attack Enter the Sandtraps Stay off of the sand Vibrations drive them crazy Antlion Guard fight Finish off the Guard Vortigaunt gets pheremones You control the bugs Storming the prison Infiltrate Nova Prospekt Antlions distract Meet up with Alyx Stand-offs with auto-turrets Locate Eli's pod Find Doctor Mossman Confront her and recruit her Prepare teleport Mossman betrays you Eli is taken with her Escape just in time Appear in the lab You have been gone for a week Fighting in the streets Into the firefight Rally the rebels to you Follow the Freeman Snipers all over Short sprints into the building Say hi to Barney Kill all the snipers Bring down the suppression gun Enter the Striders Freeman has triumphed D0G opens the way inside The Freeman descends Ride in on a pod Security malfunction The Gun becomes Death Blast through the soldiers Gordon is unstoppable Take a pod upwards Captured by Combine Breen gloats over his captives Mossman threatens him Breen panics and fires The Gun destroys your prison The duo gives chase Interrupt a call Breen flees and leaves you The Gun Too stupid to live Climb the reactor Destroy vital components Breen is defeated "Great job there Gordon! We have to get out of here Maybe we still have-" "Time, Doctor Freeman?" G-Man puts you in stasis Rest until next time “We’ll see about that,” Says the man with the brief case. Vortigaunts are cool. Crowbar always pwns Various parasitic Zombifying crabs. Grandchildren, he wants. You’re busy fighting Combine. Too bad he dies first.
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alternative title(s): Half-Life
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