Funny / The Muppet Christmas Carol

  • While the Marleys' song and visit is Nightmare Fuel, Scrooge's line afterwards is some comic relief:
    Marley: Expect the first ghost tonight when the bell tolls 1!
    Scrooge: Can't I meet them all at once and get it over with?
    • This is straight out of the book as well: “'Couldn’t I take ’em all at once, and have it over, Jacob?' hinted Scrooge."
  • Beaker's rude gesture toward Scrooge after the "surplus population" line.
  • The book-keeping Rats who work for Scrooge, immediately after complaining to Scrooge about how cold it is:
    Ebenezer Scrooge: How would the bookkeepers like to be suddenly...UNEMPLOYED?!
    Rats: [suddenly wearing tropical outfits] HEAT WAVE! [singing] Oi! This is my island in the sun... Oi, oi!
    • As well as this line when the bookkeeping Rats applaud Fred
    Scrooge: And how does one celebrate Christmas ON THE UNEMPLOYMENT LINE?!?
  • Most of the scenes with Gonzo and Rizzo tend to leave audiences roaring in laughter.
    Rizzo: "Hey, light the lamp, not the rat, light the lamp nottherat! What are you doing?! Put me out, put me out putmeout!"
    Gonzo: "Ah, er, um—" [spots a bucket of icy water] "Rizzo!"
    Rizzo: "WHAT?!" [Gonzo pushes him off the lamp] "AAAAAAAA—" [Rizzo splash-lands in the bucket and surfaces, obviously freezing] "Th-th-thank you."
    Gonzo: "You're welcome!"
    [Rizzo defeatedly shiver-sinks back into the water.]
  • Another one with Gonzo and Rizzo, with Rizzo about to jump off the top of Scrooge's house gate:
    Rizzo: Oh, God save my little broken body. AAAAAAAAAAAA— [thud] [glares at Gonzo, who was supposed to catch him].
    Gonzo: [shrug] Missed.
    Rizzo: Ugh... ooh, ooh, wait second—I forgot my jellybeans! [slips between the bars of the fence]
    Gonzo: [Beat] You can fit through those bars?
    Rizzo: [looks to bars, looks to Gonzo] Yeah?
    Gonzo: *Sigh* You are such an idiot.
    Rizzo: What?
  • Right before that...
    Rizzo: Jelly bean? [offers] I had 'em in my pocket all along.
    Gonzo: [groans]
    Rizzo: What? [awkward pause as Gonzo stares in disbelief...then Rizzo leans in and quickly kisses Gonzo's nose]
  • Rizzo expresses concern that part of this film could be too scary for kids. Gonzo replies cheerily, "Nah, it's all right, this is culture!"
  • Gonzo's nonchalant attitude to putting himself and Rizzo in danger (undoubtedly a reference to his daredevil past), from putting Rizzo on his head while ice skating to enjoying being knocked to the ground from Scrooge's multi-story window culminates in this lovely exchange when Gonzo throws a rope to grab onto Scrooge and follow him into the past:
    Rizzo: What are we doing?!
    Gonzo: [calmly] Nothing.
    Rizzo: What?!
    Gonzo: Oh, just hold on.
    • Followed by a wild flight over London, where Gonzo's loving every moment and Rizzo is absolutely terrified.
    Gonzo: Whee-hee-hee! HELLO, LONDON!
    • Scrooge gets a lovely line, too:
      Scrooge: Spirit?
      Christmas Past: Yes?
      Scrooge: ...nothing.
  • Oh, the puns:
    • This one is directly from the Dickens story:
    Scrooge: You're a little absent-minded, Spirit.
    Christmas Present: No, I'm a large absent-minded Spirit!
    • Also, Statler and Waldorf, er, the Marleys are happy to heckle Dickens' writing itself.
    Scrooge: Yes. There's more of gravy than of grave about you.
    Robert Marley: More of gravy than of grave?
    Jacob Marley: What a terrible pun. Where'd you get those jokes?
  • When Rizzo falls through a chimney, Gonzo has this to say:
    Gonzo: I knew you weren't sooted for literature.
  • Scrooge visiting the Cratchits at the end and Miss Piggy's brilliant double take.
    Scrooge: Therefore, I am about to raise your salary!
    Emily/Miss Piggy: OOOHH! And I am about to raise you right off the paveme... pardon?
  • When the Ghost Of Christmas Present takes Scrooge to his nephew Fred's house, Rizzo takes notice of a bowl of fruit and starts eating. Soon...
    Gonzo: You know, that's wax.
    Rizzo: Oh, yeah... I wondered about the texture... [starts spitting]
  • This hilarious Call-Back when Scrooge and the Ghost of Christmas Past visit Fezziwig's annual Christmas ball.
    Fezziwig/Fozzie: At this time, it's a tradition for me to make a little speech.
    Jacob Marley/Statler: And it's a tradition of ours to take a little nap!
    Fezziwig/Fozzie: [as everyone laughs] Pay no attention to them! [takes out a paper] Here is the speech: Thank you all, and Merry Christmas!
    Jacob/Statler: That was the speech?
    Robert Marley/Waldorf: It was dumb!
    Jacob/Statler: It was obvious!
    Robert/Waldorf: It was pointless!
    Jacob/Statler: It was... short.
    Marleys: I loved it!
    • Fezziwig is called Fozziwig in this adaptation.
    • The factory Fozziwig runs is a rubber chicken factory.
  • Gonzo uses Rizzo to wipe the soot off a window, to which Rizzo says "Thank you for making me a part of this."
  • The part where Gonzo gets knocked off a carriage, and Rizzo's all concerned for him before he wakes up and continues his narration has this troper and her mother rolling every time we watch it.
    Rizzo: Gonzo speak to me! I mean uh... Mr. Dickens! Charlie! Are ya hurt?
    Gonzo: [sits up] To say that Scrooge was not startled would be untrue. Still, the moment had passed and the world was as it should be.
    Rizzo: He ain't hurt. Didn't even break his concentration!
    Gonzo: Hm?
    Rizzo: Nuttin.
  • During the Christmas past section, Gonzo and Rizzo are watching a lonely looking young Scrooge.
    Rizzo: [sighs] Rats don't understand these things.
    Gonzo: You were never a lonely child?
    Rizzo: I had twelve hundred and seventy four brothers and sisters!
    Gonzo: Geesh, rats don't understand these things.
  • Sam the Eagle stands in as young Scrooge's mentor, hammering in the concept of penny pinching to exclusion of all else. He ends with this gem:
    Sam: Business! It is the American Way!
    Gonzo: Um, Sam? [whispers] It's just that the story takes place in England.
    Sam: is the British Way!
  • Emily Cratchit's inability to tell her own daughters apart after Belinda catches her scarfing down the roasted chestnuts:
    Belinda: Mother mother mother! I thought you said we couldn't eat the chestnuts until Father and Tiny Tim get home.
    Miss Piggy/Emily: I wasn't eating them, I was merely checking them. It's a chef's thing dear. And do not shout Bettina.
    Belinda: I'm Belinda!
    Bettina: [pops into frame] I'm Bettina!
    Miss Piggy/Emily: Of course you are... [looks back and forth at twins before settling on Belinda] ..uh.. uh.. Bettina?
    Belinda: Belinda.
    Miss Piggy/Emily: Whatever.
    Both Girls: Hmph!
    • The fact that, despite her accurate period costume, Piggy's wearing her customary pink satin gloves!
  • From the opening scene, when Rizzo doesn't believe Gonzo is Charles Dickens. Gonzo says he must be Dickens because he knows the story like he knows the back of hand. When Rizzo asks him to prove it, Gonzo turns his away and starts describing the features on the back of his hand.
    Rizzo: Don't tell us your hand, tell us the story.
  • Statler and Waldorf playing the two Marley brothers.
    Scrooge: Haunted? I've already had enough!
  • An outtake for, of all things, The Cratchets mourning Tiny Tim:
    Kermit/Bob: I'm sure none of us will ever forget Timy Tim, for this first passing that was among us?
    Bettina (or Belinda): Can I have his dinner?
    • It's also funny to note that there's not a single female voice in the entire Cratchet Family: Frank Oz, Dave Goelz, and Steve Whitmire supplied the voices for Piggy, Bettina, and Belinda, respectively. One of Bettina's lines even sounds just like Gonzo.
  • Fozzie attempting to get everyones attention during the christmas past scene but no luck. Then Animal walks up, looks at the camera and shouts "QUUIIIIIIEEEEEEETTT!!!!!" Then he defeatedly plays a triangle for part of the party, before he breaks out his drums.
  • After dragged through the woods by the Ghost of Christmas Past Gonzo and Rizzo safely land... right in front of a cat.
    Rizzo: [sighing in relief] Safe at last.
    Cat: [behind him] Meow.
    Rizzo: [turns around, sees the cat, then turns back to the camera and shakes his head] No. [is then chased by the cat]
  • Not from the movie, but in the "Making of" special, Kermit tells the viewer about playing Miss Piggy's husband.
    Kermit: I just keep telling myself it's only a movie, it's only a movie, it's only a movie.
  • A cat is chasing Rizzo.
    Gonzo: Rizzo! Will you stop playing with the cat?
  • A singing and skipping through London Michael Caine at the end.
  • Emily Crachit/Miss Piggy mugging the mirror while her children are preparing dinner and answering her son's comment about how good the goose smells.
    Peter: It smells so good, Mother!
    Emily Crachit/Miss Piggy: It does, doesn't it!
  • A note to a single moment in the Christmas that might have been: There's nothing funny in this whole part of the movie... except, as the Ghost directs Scrooge through the graveyard — it's both more tasteful and funnier than it might sound — there's a very brief moment where he tries to go to a different headstone and looks back for affirmation, but it's obvious from the look on his face that, no, he knows exactly where they're headed, that was never going to work, and he returns to the indicated course...
  • Christmas Present has just explained that he has over 1800 brothers. Scrooge smiles and quips "Think of the grocery bills!" Christmas Present laughs along. It even crosses into Heartwarming territory.
    • This is another joke out of Dickens - “'A tremendous family to provide for!' muttered Scrooge."
  • Scrooge receives a wreath from his nephew but takes it down and his frustration gets worse when Bean Bunny sings a carol outside his door. Scrooge refuses to give Bean Bunny a penny for singing and slams the door in his face. However he reopens the door and Bean Bunny thinks Scrooge has changed his mind only for Scrooge to throw the wreath onto him and slams the door again. He then turns to his employees who saw the whole thing but they hastily return to their work as though nothing happened but that doesn't stop them from giving him a nasty look (when his back is turned) implying they wanted to stick up for Bean Bunny but know that doing so can cost them their jobs.
  • In the commentary the creators relate a funny story from the screenings. A few children asked what the bookkeepers did wrong to get coal at the end. It had completely slipped their minds that Santa gives bad children coal in their stockings!
  • During "Thankful Heart" Scrooge brings gifts and greetings to Fred and his wife. Fred has this wonderful dumbfounded look on his face the whole time even as his wife smiles with happiness.
  • From the blooper reel: Gonzo and Rizzo mistake the plaster bust of Shakespeare for Frank Oz.
    Rizzo: [looks at the bust] Hey — it's Frank Oz!
    Gonzo: Hi, Frank — Whoa, they've coated him with plaster!
    Rizzo: Wow.
    Gonzo: Frank, speak to us!
    [The bust does not reply]
    Rizzo: Huh.
    Gonzo: Hello?!
    [The bust still does not reply]
    Rizzo: ...As usual.
  • Also from the blooper reel: at the intro, after Scrooge walks by.
    Rizzo: Say, is it gettin' colder out here?
    Gonzo: [turns around] You have been asking me that all. Day.
    Rizzo: I'm sorry!
    Gonzo: [tapping Rizzo with the apple he's holding] And I don't have an answer 'cause it's not in the script''!