Funny / The Avengers
- In "The Curious Case of the Countless Clues", the Sherlock Holmes Expy falls for the false clues left by the killers, while Steed remains less than convinced.
- In "Death at Bargain Prices," Emma Peel is working undercover as a department store clerk:
Steed: I asked the chief predator where to find you and he said, "Our Mrs. Peel is in ladies' underwear." I rattled up the stairs three at a time.
- In "The Danger Makers," Emma receives a box of chocolates from a suspect in the case, and Steed treats it as if it is a bomb:
Steed: (after carefully opening the box with a knife and tweezers) Ah, thought so.
Mrs. Peel: Booby trapped?
Steed: (gingerly removing a wrapped piece with the tweezers) Whatever you do, don't touch the wrapped ones.
Mrs. Peel: Why not?
Steed: Because I like them. (he pops it in his mouth as Emma slams the box shut)
- In "The Hour That Never Was," Steed and Mrs. Peel are forced to walk to a soon to be abandoned RAF base because a dog had run in front of their car, causing Steed to crash:
Steed: This stretch of road hasn't changed in years. Cross the bridge, through the trees, across green grassy banks to RAF Station 472 Hamelin. I've driven across this road a hundred times during the war.
Mrs. Peel: Well, since you know it so well, it's remarkable you couldn't stay on it.
- Also from the same episode:
Steed: Returning from a mission, hunched over the controls, eyes rimmed with fatigue, the men groaning in the back.
Mrs. Peel: Where had you been, the war?
Steed: No, the local pub.
- In "Silent Dust," Steed leaves Mrs. Peel alone at the pub so he can approach a local woman and get some information:
Steed: I'll see what I can pick up here.
Mrs. Peel: I'm sure you'll pick up... something.
Not exactly Wonder Man's finest hour. Yes, he's the one at the left. And no, he's not being mind-controlled: he's just short of money, and took the only job he could get
- When the Avengers first encounter Zemo and his Masters of Evil, we're treated to a hilarious flashback where Zemo had Adhesive X poured on him, resulting in his mask getting glued to his face. As if that wasn't funny enough, during the 20 years he had it stuck he never thought to look for a solution until someone else mentioned it offhand.
Zemo: A solution to Adhesive X! I never thought of that!
- In Volume 5 issue 2, Steve and Tony are recruiting members for the new incarnation.
- They offer Wolverine beer (itself a Running Gag about the character in other titles).
- They offer Spider-Man money. His reaction: "Oh, thank God." while he's hugging Iron Man.
- They offer the Falcon "I dunno... birdseed?"
- Cannonball and Sunspot are chilling on a beach, insisting on retiring from heroics. The moment Cap calls, they're in.
- During The Korvac Saga, the Avengers had to deal with the Obstructive Bureaucrat Henry Peter Gyrich, who revoked their special priority. Even so, they have finally located the enemy: he's in a house in Forest Hills Gardens. Now, to get there...
Iron Man: A good question, Wasp! With our Avengers Priority revoked, we can't use the Quinjets! And since some of us can't fly, we'll just have to wing it another way! AVENGERS ASSEMBLE... uh... on the corner, outside.
- So, all the Avengers go to the battle for the destiny of the universe... on bus◊.
- Wonder Man's first attempt as an actor was a complete disaster. Without a job, he accepted to take part in a secret production, that he's not in the liberty to talk about. Excuses, excuses: the Beast discovered his "secret production" while changing TV channels. Wonder Man works as "Mr. Muscles" in a children's TV show. He took a boy, and he fell to the ground. The TV host told he must be punished for being a Dumb Muscle... with a Pie in the Face. Fortunately (for him) Captain America interrupted the TV to issue a warning about an upcoming emergency. Beast: "Jesus, Cap, do you have any idea of what have you just interrupted?"
- In a Christmas special featuring the New Avengers, the team ends up stopping an Ultron android that had been altered to also act like Santa Claus. When the team finds out about the troubled girl who did this, they resolve to give her a better Christmas. During their visit, Spidey attempts to start a speech, realizes he's horrible at speeches, then drags Cap over to do the speech instead.
- The whole special is great. Especially when "Santron" drops into the chimney, the party goes silent, except for an extremely well-timed "Sweet Christmas."
- In Kelly Sue Deconnick's first issue of Avengers Assemble, Spider-Woman used her pheromone powers to get the Hulk to make her a sandwich. Observe the magic.◊
- In the first issue of The Amazing Spider-Man following the Superior Spider-Man storyline, Spidey has an Out-of-Clothes Experience. Which is then broadcast over the internet. Spider-Woman concludes that she is certain Parker is back, because that kind of thing could only happen to him.
- One issue has most of the team sitting through an award ceremony for Captain America.... except that the they're all completely bored out of their minds. When its pointed out that Iron Man is the only one sitting attentively and showing respect... there's a closeup and snoring is coming from the suit.
- In one of the Original Sin tie-in issues, the Avengers jump 5000 years into the future and meet up with an older and immortal Franklin Richards. He seems to be the last hero from the current era left alive and he lives on a floating island with a massive tree in the middle. After the Avengers leave, Franklin says something seemingly to himself... and then the tree responds, I AM GROOT. Guess he wasn't the last hero after all.
- Hawkeye: Attention! This is my xmas arrow! When it hits you, it will open a gift! Hey, look, they run away as if they don't believe me! Ooops! It was another of my explosive arrows! Well, everybody makes mistakes!
- In West Coast Avengers Annual #1, the Avengers are on the run after being framed for treason, with the initial hearing stating one of their own sold them out. The active members are gathering up the reserves to find the identity of the traitor. Hercules goes to collect Thor, who yells at him for stopping to grab a bucket of fried chicken before returning to the others.
Hercules: It has been a long night, Thor! I need strength to exact revenge!
Thor: I need strength to deal with thee!
- Ares, God of War. Worst wingman ever, or best wingman ever? While out superheroing with Ares, Wonder Woman finds himself in need of a car, and happens to find an attractive woman who loved his old show...
Simon: Listen, my friend and I are short one vehicle, so in exchange for dinner for two at a restaurant of your choice, would you mind us borrowing-
(Ares clocks Simon with a huge chunk of masonry)
Ares: NO! BLOWS FROM AN UNKNOWN ASSAILANT HAVE FELLED WONDER MAN!!
(Ares removes the woman from her car as he gets in)
Ares: ON MY HONOR, I WLLL NOT REST UNTIL I HAVE TRACKED DOWN THOSE RESPONSIBLE!!
(Ares drives off, leaving Wonder Man in the woman's hands)
From Avengers Assemble
, not to be confused with the cartoon of the same name:
- Basically all of Anya's dialogue in the Inhumanity tie-ins count.
- Carol Danvers doesn't let Anya finish asking them for help regarding a stolen cocoon, and says Anya is "young and riles easy." Carol apologises after Anya finally finishes explaining. Anya's response? "S'okay. You're old. You rile easy." After, she gets a fist-bump from Spider-Woman.
- The awkward elevator conversation between Team Spider Lady. Anya asks if Black Widow is named after the spider or "a sad lady who lost her...". After Widow tells her, she dubs the team 'Team Spider Lady'. Then changes her mind and goes with 'Team Lady Spiders', then finally, because of Natasha, attempts to call the team 'Team Spy-der—' before being cut off.
- The fight between Team Spider Lady when under Spider-Woman's influence. Spider-Girl calls Natasha dumb, because the team is tied up. This follows:
You got us tied to chairs!
Your rep is all oooh, spooky James Bond
, and you got us tied
Like—like Zelda! Black Widow:
Fitzgerald? Spider-Woman: Ha ha ha.
Did you just call Black Widow a princess?
I do like you. Spider-Girl:
Seriously, am I right? Goon #1:
Uh... Goon #2:
Sorry. We're... we're supposed to shoot you. Spider-Girl:
Later for that — first, am I right? Are they stupid? Spider-Woman:
Hey, wait—"they"? Goon #2:
Wellll, I mean... Goon #1: Seems harsh
. Goon #3:
I-I don't really want to get in the middle of a girl thing— Goon #4: Is it me, or is the dark-haired one kind of hot? Goon #5:
I... I miss my lady.
- The conversation between Spider-Girl and Spider-Woman after, at Avengers Tower:
- From one of the Inhumanity tie-in issues, the Micro-dimensional warlord Lord Gouzar (who the Avengers have met before) suffers what might be one of the most embarrassing one-sided defeats ever, getting trodden on by a giant-sized little girl who he'd just been threatening to kill.