Funny / RWBY Thoughts

Per troping policy, all spoilers are unmarked. You Have Been Warned!

Examples are sorted by character.

Oscar/Ozpin

• What Oscar REALLY Thinks of Ozpin's Lies:
  • On top of adding to the tense buildup to Ozpin's backstory, Oscar's dumbfounded reactions and pointings-out of Oz's lies and referential tangents are the gifts that keep on giving.
    • For instance, when meeting Maria:
    Ozpin (Thoughts): It's almost as if Katara and Toph did a Fusion Dance.
    Oscar (Thoughts): Once again, words I have no idea the meaning of.
    • ... then, when Oz valiantly tries (and is gradually failing) to keep a Stiff Upper Lip about being confronted about being dishonest to the members of his inner circle, especially the last headmaster who turned heel back at Haven:
    Ozpin (Thoughts): Oh, use old Leo against me, eh? Alright, let me see where I put the form response about lying to a retainer who betrayed me to spare their blushes.
    Oscar (Thoughts): You have form responses? How many times have you done this?!?!
    Ozpin (Thoughts): More than I care to admit!
    Oscar (Thoughts): Oz, you're going down a path I can't follow!
    Ozpin (Thoughts): Well then, go to hell, Padm-- I mean, Oscar!
    • ... along with wanting Leo to be remembered for the good he did before that point:
    Oscar (Thoughts): Oh right, he just mis-stepped right into the house of the Devil. Just a few steps in the wrong direction, right?
    • ... then, when Oscar discovers Oz's backstory apparently written in and saved as a PDF file:
    Oscar (Thoughts): Hey, what the hell's this file? "Ozpin's Dirty Secrets.pdf"?
    • ... as Jinn makes her debut:
    Oscar (Thoughts): Oz, I think I'm gonna need new pants.
    Ozpin (Thoughts): Blast you and your fourteen-year-old body! What a mess!
    • ... and finally, as Jinn narrates the events of Ozpin's past, starting with introducing a human Salem:
    Oscar (Thoughts): Haa-mana-ham-ana-ham-ina-- how did you screw this up?!
• What Oscar Thinks of Volume 8:
  • The video begins with Oscar writing a dramatic letter discussing his situation to Ruby. Ozpin is quick to point out how they've barely even spent any time in Mantle to begin with. Oscar apologizes and states that it's felt like 9 months had passed by then.
  • Ironwood's resignation begins a new Running Gag for Ozpin: A desire to overthrow the ruling class.
    Oscar: Right... comrade.
  • Nora's gentler hug starts heartwarming, but it quickly spirals into comedy when Ozpin labels Oscar a Momma's Boy. Oscar is unamused, and reminds him that he's an orphan... maybe. Ozpin just responds by saying that they'll likely never know, as Oscar's backstory doesn't have much relevancy to begin with.
  • Oscar in the main show has a moment where, after withholding the story of what Ironwood did to him, he simply waves off Ozpin questioning this course of action. Ozpin is taken aback by this.
  Ozpin (Thoughts): Di-Did you just sass me in-canon?! Unbelievable!
  Oscar (Thoughts): Y'know, I really don't know why I didn't start sooner.

• What Oscar Thinks of Suffering:
  • Due to the levels of abuse Oscar has been inflicted with for the entirety of Volume 8, the thumbnail replaced the generic title with the following: "Being Oscar is Suffering".
  • Ozpin begins by listing the number of injuries that Oscar has sustained, to his chagrin.
    Oscar: Okay, I get it! I'm getting wrecked out here.
  • Hazel continues to be Oscar's Berserk Button, to the point when, despite resolving to take his beatings, hearing him talk causes him to instantly Rage Quit and leave it to Ozpin.
  • While the scene where Oscar discusses his brief thoughts of abandoning the adventure and going home in Argus, he brings up the Past Life who gave him pause again. Turns out Gordon Ramsay is The Dreaded even among all of Ozma's Past Lives.
    Ozpin: Dear Gods, you met HIM? And survived?
  • The video of Oscar suffering endlessly ends with Oscar getting dragged off by Hazel... again. Made worse by Hazel only dragging him off to test the Lamp's powers getting saved for a later video, making it seem as though Oscar is about to face yet MORE beatings.
    Oscar: Am I just gonna get rag-dolled for this entire Volume!?

Ruby

• What Ruby Thinks of Qrow:
  • Until Volume 6 onwards gave her more room to grow, Ruby was criticized in the main show for being too much of a Vanilla Protagonist. So how did Crumbling Cube characterize Ruby here? Just dial up her sass, what else?
    '''Salty Ruby''': "Qrow, did you get drunk again? ...Of course he did. (mockingly) 'I'm Qrow! I get drunk! I have cool hair! Oh, is there a world to save or nieces that just lost their mom to take care of? I CAN'T TELL! I'M TOO STINKING DRUNK!'"
• What Ruby REALLY Thinks of Penny:
  • Ruby's reactions to getting swept up in the latest Grimm attack have her just skirting the edge of a Shell-Shocked Veteran.
  • The buildup to her reuniting with Penny is also cutely confused, from noticing a familiar-looking bow Pietro is wearing...
    Ruby: Daughter? Hmm... that bow looks familiar, but I can't quite put my finger on it.
    • ... to her irritation at the intervention that obliterates the Grimm in a few choice laser blasts...
    Ruby: Alright, whoever you are, you've got a lot of nerve to steal my thunder. And I'll have you know I'm the main character in this outfit!
    Ruby: (as she absorbs the reveal of Penny) Wait a minute. Unless I'm seeing things, too— that sounds like Penny...
    • ...to her re-introduction of a rather infamous Glomp.
    Ruby: (as she realizes what's about to happen with Penny's "Sal-u-") Oh no. I'm in danger, aren't I? [...] (resigned in the middle of panicking, after "-tations!") To think, I survived all that trauma, to be destroyed by a dear friend. That cuts deep. [...] (as she's tackled to the ground) Auugh, why didn't I dodge?!
  • When everyone is captured and arrested by the Ace Ops, she not-too-responsibly adds to her justification of trying to help protect the district:
    Ruby: We didn't even inflict any collateral damage this time. That's a miracle for us!
• What Ruby Thinks of Volume 7:
  • When Oscar questions her choice of hiding the truth from Ironwood, and compares it to what Ozpin did to them, Ruby admits to it, but brushes it off as they have time to tell them later, because there's ''no way'' she could possibly procrastinate!
    Title Card: (As the It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia theme blares in the background) Ruby Rose Procrastinates
  • When Ruby catches the gravity dust crystal, she... takes an interest to it.
    Ruby: Aww! It's so cute! Who's got enough explosive power to cause a chain reaction that would kill us all in a nanosecond? Oh yes you do!
  • Ruby gets exasperated by Ren and Nora's bickering, comparing them to Tai and Qrow. She renounces romance altogether before leaving.
  • This is soon followed by Robyn's speech, where she admits to not being much for public speaking. Ruby thinks that with a voice like hers, she could be a voice actor.
  • During her fight with Harriet, Ruby's reaction to a... certain attack of hers is priceless:
    Ruby: Oh my goodness, ''what is this attack!?'' Weaponizing thighs is against the Remnant Geneva Convention! Also, Rule Number 1 of RWBY: DON'T. LEWD. THE RUBE.

Qrow

• What Qrow Thinks of Tyrian:
  • As everyone in the prison transport plane is headed for a crash-landing in the tundra outside of Mantle, Qrow makes a long-ignored observation about himself:
    Qrow: Well, seems like I'm about to die as a martyr to some false goddess. So... [going from mildly annoyed to incredibly pissed] why is my name SPELLED WITH A Q?!?!

Raven

• What Raven Thinks of Cinder:
  • The Reveal of Raven being the Spring Maiden is coupled with Thoughts!Raven's most iconic line
    Raven: You thought Vernal was the Spring Maiden... But it was I, THE MOTHER OF THE F**KING YEAR, RAVEN!
• What Raven Thinks of Qrow:
  • Watching Qrow drink has Raven have a moment of realization towards her brother's situation.
    Raven: Hm. You're broke, single, drunk, and you are hanging out with your sister on a Friday night. You are still a catch, bro! Killin' it!
  • The video takes a break from the scene in Volume 4 to flash back to various scenes of Raven watching over Yang in bird form. One of them consists of Yang and Blake meeting in the Emerald Forest. While she spends some time pointing out the similarities between Blake and Yang's budding romance with her and Tai's, Ruby slams into her, knocking her out of the sky.
    Raven: Damn it, Summer! You Team-Killing! F**KT**D!!

Yang

• What Yang Thinks of Blake:
  • Yang spend some time eyeing up the male students in their pajamas... then she sees Jaune in his footies.
    Yang (Thoughts): Aaaaand I think I may prefer women now...
  • Perhaps the Crowning Moment of Funny of the video, Yang's... passionate... reaction to seeing Blake for the first time.
    Yang (Thoughts): Wow, her outfit looks good! ...She's REALLY pretty. Oh my god, she's got beautifully long legs, and that hair- AW F**K SHE IS HOT! I'm gonna- (Please stand by, not safe for YouTube Algorithm) Welp... guess I'm definitely PROBABLY gay now.
  • Followed by her, for whatever reason, using RUBY to try and get an excuse to talk to her. It goes about as well as one would expect.

Blake

• What Blake Belladonna Thinks:
  • When Blake approaches her house, her hesitation is revealed to be less out of guilt, but more because she's bracing for the reactions of her overprotective parents.
    Blake (Thoughts): Wow. This conversation is gonna go great. "Hey, mom and dad. I put myself in danger, joined a terrorist organization and brought home a boy.
    "Kali": Oh, my poor daughter! I told you Adam Taurus wasn't what he seemed!
    "Ghira": YOU BROUGHT HOME A BOY!?
  • Fridge Logic is shined on the incredibly loud knock on the door. Blake has to wonder what, with their advanced cat hearing, the point of it is.

Weiss

• What Weiss Thinks of Jacques
  • "TL: Wealthy Atlesians are snobs, so sometime their words mean something else. Hence these subtitles." This Running Gag persists throughout the entire video, starting from Weiss and Whitley's conversation.
    • Not even General Ironwood is immune to this.
      Ironwood (Subs): (To Jacques) You're stupid.
      Jacques (Subs): No u.

Cinder

• What Cinder Thinks of Neo
  • Cinder's overconfidence in her Paper-Thin Disguise gets ripped to shreds. Her reaction is genuine shock that it didn't work.
  • When Neo is first shown onscreen, cheering can be heard. Cinder Wangsts for a bit about how when SHE manages to survive, all she gets is annoyance from fans.

Ironwood

• What Ironwood Thinks of Watts:
  • At certain points, Ironwood falls into Hypocritical Humor when snarking at Watts.
    Ironwood (Thoughts): (as he and Watts approach each other) I really don't miss how you stroke your own ego. ^note This comes seconds after he finishes the original "WELCOME" line with introducing himself as though he's commentating on his own role in an MMA match.
    Ironwood (Thoughts): You'll forgive me for my hatred for mustaches. ^note He says this despite sporting a full beard.
  • Ironwood gets knocked off a cliff by Watts' geyser, leading to this response:
    Ironwood (Thoughts): Come on, did you really think that such a cheap trick would work? It's over for you, Watts. I have the power of the soundtrack on my side! ^note What makes this line even funnier is Aerwrek stating that this line was improvised by Some Asian, and stated that it nearly caused him to have a Spit Take during editing.
    • Even funnier is how this line was synced up just so his Image Song would begin blaring in the background.
  • Another Running Gag that pops up in the middle of the fight is Ironwood's frustration at how rusty he's gotten at shooting.
    Ironwood (Thoughts): What the hell has happened to my accuracy as of late?! (heavily sighs) I REALLY need to hit the range after this.
    (moments later, when Ironwood manages to sneak behind Watts):
    Ironwood (Thoughts): Okay, this is the world's easiest headshot... there's no possible way I can miss. (proceeds to miss Watts' headshot) Oh, son of a bitch! You. Have. Got. To be kidding me!

Watts

• What Watts Thinks of Ironwood:
  • When Ironwood puts Watts in a chokehold, it results in an... interesting internal outburst from Watts.
  Watts (Thoughts): CHOKE ME, DADDY! ...Oh Gods... what was that? Ugh, I sincerely hope that wasn't an awakening of some sort... Please don't kink-shame me for that.
  • Remember Ironwood's annoyance at his rusty aim? Well as it turns out, Watts fully agrees:
    Watts (Thoughts): You imbecile! I don't know which is worse, your beard or your aim!