Verne: (Death Glare at RJ) You're the devil.
- "Get real Kevin! Cuz when you feel like a dirt bag, that's because you're a dirt bag. Just say it out loud, just own it! Say 'I am a dirt bag.'"
- RJ mouthing the lines...
- "Dirtbag? I don't think that guy's a real doctor."
- During the climactic van scene:
Baby Porcupines: Hey, no fighting while we're driving! We will turn this van around, mister!
(Beat)Lou: He started it.
- When asked if they know how to drive the van:
Baby Porcupine: Just like Auto-Homicide 3.
(a little later)
Baby Porcupine: (pointing at pedestrians) Bonus points!!!
- The cookie RJ throws away that Hammy tries to get.
RJ: I wanna show you this! You like this cookie?
RJ: Well, this cookie's...JUNK! (tosses it over the hedge)
Hammy: But I liked the cookie!...
RJ: HAMMY! I told you that cookie's junk!
- Later, during the break in, Hammy finds the cookie on Gladys' roof!
Hammy: But I like the cookie!
Hammy: I got the cookie!
- Then as Hammy goes faster than the speed of light, he finally retrieves the cookie and eats it with a smug grin.
- The Depelter Turbo
- And right before that, the animals have Hammy drink a lot of caffeine. When he goes out to activate the Depelter Turbo, everything is frozen because of how fast Hammy is actually moving, thanks to the caffeine.
- After RJ's weedhacker story, Hammy's sympathetic reaction, including the aghast and amazed looks he shoots Verne.
Hammy: The weed hacker, Verne! The Weed Hacker!
- Steve Carrell really nails Hammy's lines.
Hammy: Scary clown!
- "Less claw, more pad!"
- RJ's "Food" monologue is the stuff of legend.
"The human mouth—is called a 'pie hole'. The human being—is called a 'couch potato'."RJ: (points to a grill) That keeps the food hot! (an ice cooler) That keeps the food cold. (a turtle piñata) That...er...I'm not sure what that is.(A boy smashes the turtle piñata with a bat, sending candy everywhere)Verne (terrified): AH!!RJ: Well, what do you know? Food!
- After the gang is chased out of Gladys' yard and back to the hedge.
Verne: SEE?! That's what I was talking about! These humans don't want us around!
RJ: So we scared her and she overreacted! No biggie!
Verne: "No biggy?" "No biggy?!" That is exactly what we call a biggy.
RJ: C'mon, think about the food! It was worth it for that food! That stuff is to die for.
(Ozzie faints; Heather rolls her eyes)
RJ: Let me rephrase that.
Verne: No. "To die for." You nailed that part. Look, maybe our little forest life seems primative to a guy with a bag.
Verne: But I think I speak for all of us when I say that we want NOTHING to do with ANYTHING, that's over that hedge!
(He and the others begin to walk away)
RJ: Oh, come on. You haven't even tried doughnuts yet. You wanna store some fat, that is the way to store some fat. You'll be sweatin' through the winter! (they don't listen) Okay, okay, you guys sleep on it. Good idea, I'm gonna check back with you. [to himself] Shoot! Almost had 'em.
- William Shatner's brilliant rant on the OTH version of Rockin' the Suburbs.
Hi, sorry to bother you, the name's Bill. I live just across the street - yeah that's right over there. No, no not that house, the one next to it with the extra flower bed. Oh, and here's all your papers from the last few days, they were just piling up on the driveway where the whole neighborhood could see them. Not that that's a problem of course but that and the grass being a little overgrown might give someone the impression that you Were out of town and you wouldn't want that. I've got to be going shortly to a little class I've been attending I just... no, no, no, no not pottery or anything like that it's uh... an ANGER MANAGEMENT class. Actually, and speaking of that very class they've been emphasizing finding some common ground With people before you confront them to avoid becoming violent, you know? Well, actually we do have a few things in common - here could you take these papers? They're getting my suit wet! - and as I was saying we do live on the same cul-de-sac, that's common ground and I believe we actually have the same house plan, except the reverse, your garage is on the left and mine's on the... NO, it wasn't me that dialled 911 at 6:31pm Wednesday about your son's noisy rock band! Anyway it's about your dog, and of course about our garbage and the neighbor's garbage can... (increasingly angry) No, I'm sorry it is your dog who's been strewing garbage around the block and I have digital evidence complete with red eye reduction which I will e-mail to you to prove that it is in fact your dog! Now, I should warn you that I have a black belt in in karate, too and I'm certainly don't mind using it if necessary! No, not on you, ma'am, ON YOUR STINKING DOOOOOOOOG!!!
- Everything with Stella. What can you expect from Wanda Sykes?
Stella: "Why does everyone think I need a man, huh? I look like a nest and smell like a swamp. So when you find a fella who's decent, good with kids, and has no sense of smell, call me!"
- Dwayne accidentally shooting the head off a plastic flamingo.
Dwayne: Aww! Not again! Dang it! Those things are so lifelike! Curse you, plastic moldsman.
- Stella ranting to Tiger while the other animals view from the bushes.
Tiger: Away with your filth!
Stella: My filth?! MY FILTH?!
Penny: Oh, jeepers! He we go...
Stella: Okay, that's it! I am sick and tired of everybody takin' one look at me and runnin' away 'cause they think I'm filthy! Well, I got news for you! I didn't get all primped and preened to have some overfed, pompous puffball tell me he's too good for me! I got makeup on my butt, dude!! And you don't even wanna know about the cork!!
Tiger: STOP! No one has EVER spoken to me like that!!
(the animals gasp)
Tiger: It is bold...I like it!