Funny / Mortal Kombat 9

For a game which was catalogued as the bloodiest and most violent MK game to date, Mortal Kombat 9 surely has its funny moments.
  • The Klassic Kostume commercial. To wit, Scorpion and Mileena both fight each othe in their Klassic outfits (Scorpion in his MK1 and Mileena in her UMK3 outfit) all the while complimenting each other. Then Scorpion offers Mileena a kiss...only to reveal his skull head and do his classic flame Fatality on her.
    Scorpion: Works every time.
  • Johnny Cage pretty much steals the show in (nearly) every scene he's included in.
    • In his victory pose, his glasses crack in half as he's posing, and without missing a beat, he whips out another pair, puts them on, and grins at the camera with a cheesy "flashing teeth" effect. So much for those $500 sunglasses, eh asshole?
    Announcer: Johnny Cage wins.
    Johnny Cage: Oh yeah. (Sometimes it's "Don't hate.")
    Johnny Cage: (addressing kombatants) And I'm takin' you down, I'm takin' you down, I'm taking you out, I'm takin you out and I'm takin' you out (addressing Sonya)...for dinner.
    • The moment where he begins to realize he's actually in a tournament surrounded by supernatural killers and demons when he's urged to finish off Baraka, who he's trying to hire for his next production.
    Johnny Cage: My producer has got to meet you! We're doing Tommy Scissorfists, and...
    • After defeating Kano in the last fight of his chapter:
    Johnny Cage: Throw that on your...barby...shrimp... (shrugs)
    • Cage also mistakes Raiden and Liu Kang for some really enthusiastic role-players.
    • When Cage suggests that Jax or himself may be the one he requires to win, we have this this:
    Raiden: Perhaps you are right, Johnny Cage. You will stay close to me.
    Johnny: Great, I...
    Raiden: Close as a shadow and twice as silent.
    • He even makes a Call-Back to this when Liu Kang and Raiden are arguing.
    Raiden: I must speak with the Elder Gods. Shao Kahn's violation must be punished.
    Liu Kang: But the battle is joined here, in Earthrealm.
    Raiden: We cannot win without the Elder Gods.
    Liu Kang: But, Master...
    Johnny: Liu Kang, close as a shadow...
    • After finding out Raiden's interference has lead to Sub-Zero being captured instead of Smoke, Johnny makes this comment when they go off to talk to Kitana. It doubles as a Dude, Not Funny!, as Smoke stands there visibly devastated by the truth of his comment.
    Johnny Cage: Sure. Let's go ruin someone else's life.
    • This exchange between Johnny and the Shaolin Monks, after Jade makes a High-Heel–Face Turn and seeks out Raiden on Kitana's behalf:
      Cage: "Lord"? I was with Smoke. I thought she was a bad guy, er, girl. Guess he turned another one. What's Raiden got that I haven't got?
      Liu Kang: God-like power?
      Kung Lao: A personality that is not at all like sanding paper?
      Cage: Jerks.
      • The best part is where Liu Kang smirks when Kung Lao answer's Cage's question, knowing both are on the same page to troll him.
    • His Take That! towards the concept this franchise is notorious for practically inventing - Fatalities - by responding to Shang Tsung's "Finish Him" command by refusing to do so.
    Johnny Cage: Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a second! I'm not gonna kill anyone!
    • Cage also has a fatality where he karate-chops the opponent's head in half. Then he takes out a shiny gold trophy of a flexing man (presumably Cage himself) and sticks it where their head was, saying "And the award goes to..."
      • What sells it is that the opponent stays up as he goes to do his victory pose. Johnny has to push him down.
  • Challenge Tower mission #20 has Scorpion fighting off Mileena... who made him a teddy bear.
    Mileena: I wanted to give you this teddy. I made it myself!
    Scorpion: I HATE TEDDIES!
    Mileena: I worked so hard on this!! You HAVE TO accept it!
    • Her further attempts DURING the fight to give Scorpion the teddy are adorable. Lose the match and she happily lobs it at you and squeals "TAKE IT!"
    • Among the new Challenge Tower missions in the Vita port is "I still hate teddies!" This time, after taking down Mileena, Scorpion decides to make his hatred clear by strangling the poor bear and then giving it the Subway fatality treatment. The squeaky noises it makes during the whole thing is what sells it.
  • Challenge Tower mission #250 has Shang Tsung and Shao Kahn fighting over a baby.
    Shao Kahn: You know this child is not mine!
    Shang Tsung: Do not unload your children on me!
  • Stryker when his partner, Kabal, spots the scantily clad Mileena amongst the chaos.
    Partner: Stryker! Check her out! What do you think? Friend or foe?
    Stryker: Foe.
    Stryker: Definitely foe. Cover me.
    • There's also this part, when he sees Johnny Cage fighting against Motaro:
    Stryker: Johnny Cage fighting a giant monster!? What is this, "Time Smashers"!?
    • His ending. He doesn't mind all the attention and merchandise that came after defeating Shao Kahn, but when Hollywood tries to get the rights for a movie, he rejects it. The reason?
      "Never would he allow himself to be portrayed by Johnny Cage."
  • Babalities return, and each victim has a HILARIOUS animation:
    • Cyber Sub-Zero plays with an ice ball. He drops it. It flash-freezes him.
    • Kratos rips the head off of a Medusa doll! Not to mention his proud displaying of said head like a real gladiator should!
    • Noob Saibot accidentally summons two portals at once (one above him, the other below), and is stuck in an endless loop of falling through them.
    • Raiden invokes lightning, but another lightning bolt strikes behind him, and causes him to fall over terrified and cower while shaking.
    • Scorpion throws his spear, complete with an adorable, high-pitched version of his trademark "GET OVER HERE!", but it fails and makes him fall.
    • Sektor plays with an active rocket that's about to launch. It doesn't end well.
    • Shang Tsung steals the soul from a teddy bear, then sits down and then puts his hands together, plotting.
    • Smoke farts, and falls after that (it appears the smell was too much for him).
    • Sonya does her Bicycle Kick, but falls, and cries while spinning in the floor.
    • Sub-Zero has to go to the little Cryomancers' room, but urinates on the floor. It promptly freezes, and he slips on it.
    • Cage sits down, pulls out a piece of paper, starts drawing, and throws it in the air. What is it? A sloppy and childish picture of Cage's head with the words "To my best fan! - Johnny Cage". Friednship
    • Kano, for some reason, STILL has his facial hair, as does Kratos.
    • Skarlet will still prefer blood over milk or formula.
    • If special conditions are met, the bosses can be Babalified: Goro plays pattycake with himself before accidentally smacking his own face and crying, Kintaro mewls like a kitten before crawling over to a bowl of milk and lapping it up and Shao Kahn, after noticing he has visibly NOT exploded but has instead been turned into a baby, says a hilarious "You suck!" and then giggles.
  • Baraka's "Take a Spin" fatality; first he lifts the victim above him with one blade, then spins them around on it like a top. Whilst they are spinning, he gets out his second blade and holds it up, cutting off all the limbs on the torso in one go.
    • Speaking of fatalities, Sheeva's "Lend a Hand" fatality is pretty hilarious. She tears the opponent's arms off, then beats them to death using the arms... and for a "victory pose", she uses the severed hands to give herself a round of applause.
    • Yet another darkly humorous fatality, Cyber Sub-Zero's "Brain Freeze" fatality; first, he fires two shuriken into the victim's head, then a final one which goes deep into the brain and proceeds to spin around, no doubt turning it into mush. This would seem lame due to no dismemberment, but what makes it worth it is the fact that the opponent spasms into a silly pose and falls over dead like that.
    • Kano's "Eat Your Heart Out" fatality. First, he rips out the opponent's heart, and most of the time, on your first performing of the fatality, you'd think that's it. But no, he proceeds to rip their head off, and shove it in the gaping hole where their heart used to be. Oh, and then he kicks it deep inside there for good measure. That is just such gratuitous overkill you can't help but chuckle the first time it's performed.
    • And the triumphant return of Ed Boon's favorite fatality: like he did in MK4, Quan Chi tears his opponent's leg off, then hits them with it. Again and again. And again. And again. And he's showing no signs of slowing down when the screen fades to black.
    • Sektor's second fatality features him throwing a mysterious device at the opponent which latches onto their chest. Most people would predict an explosion to occur, but instead, the device lights up and suddenly, huge blades extend out from the device and tears the opponent apart, turning them into a scarecrow. It's watching it the first time and being caught by surprise that makes this so funny.
    • Ermac's second fatality, "Pest Control", has him using his powers to shrink his opponent, causing them to panic with their voice comically high-pitched (except Kratos who outright challenges his now giant foe) Then he stomps on them. What really caps it off is the way he wipes the blood off of his foot afterwards.
    • Jade's second fatality, where she kicks her opponent high up into the air, plants her staff into the ground as they slide to the impalement. Then Jade, being the Proud Warrior Race Lady she is, does a war cry as she rips their head off and plants the severed head on the staff. What makes it funnier is the slow-motion done as she rips the head, slowing her war cry.
    • a Youtube user showcased what happens when Fatalities are performed on NPCs. The best comes from Quan Chi, who's fatality listed above is Turned Up to Eleven.
  • Some of the challenge tower levels or test your luck modifiers are so ridiculously insane, you can't help but laugh. HEADLESS KOMBAT!
    • Hyper Kombat (everything on fastforward)! You'll have a hard time playing seriously when your characters are squeaking like chipmunks on helium. Even the announcer sounds like a mouse!
      • Special mention goes to the "Out on a Limb" series, where the only way to damage your opponent is chucking your limbs at them. This results in casually tossing one's head, kicking one's leg right off, or throwing BOTH arms off in a pseudo-Rocket Punch fashion.
  • Sheeva's win pose. She snarls and poses like a muscle man twice, then does a sexy pose and moans.
  • Jade has her share of Deadpan Snarker moments, like this part of her chapter as she attempts to rescue Kitana from Sheeva:
    Kitana: Jade!
    Sheeva: My orders are clear. No one is allowed in the tower!
    Jade: As you can see, I am here.
  • Despite how scary Freddy Krueger can be, his grab should at least bring a chuckle or two; he grabs his opponent, makes a "Shhhh" gesture, turns them around, and proceeds to shoves his glove through their chest.
    • And for his second fatality, just as he's about to close the door to the boiler he's trapped them in, Freddy has the common courtesy to wave them goodbye.
  • Failing at Test Your Sight can lead to some hilarity, such as rocks falling onto Shang Tsung, Johnny Cage suddenly catching on fire, Kung Lao getting decapitated or Mileena uncovering a bomb.
  • This chucklesome part Call-Back, part Take That!, part Mythology Gag towards Mortal Kombat: Shaolin Monks, its screwed up story retelling, its portrayal of Kung Lao and his and Liu Kang's running gag regarding Kitana, during Lao's story chapter:
    Kung Lao: I hope your girlfriend is worth Lord Raiden's anger, Liu Kang.
    Liu Kang: Notice that I am ignoring you.
  • Another Kitana quote: "I will drag you before Shao Kahn by your pointed beard".
  • At the beginning, Shang Tsung is explaining the background of the tournament, mentioning that the winner can challenge him personally. Johnny Cage is not impressed.
    Johnny: That old geezer's the final challenge? Might as well give me the belt right now... They do have belts, right?
    (Pan to show Tsung is now right behind Johnny)
    Johnny: Wha-? How'd you-?!
    Tsung: Appearences can be deceiving.
  • Challenge Tower mission #136 has Jax fighting against Sektor while at the same time, avoiding getting hit in the head, lest he lose it. The kicker is that the game tries to justify it by saying that "Jax's head is not screwed on very well right now", Sonya implying that his head was sewed back on and Jax simply saying that "duty calls".
  • "Please refrain from throwing fatality victims onto the train (or tracks)."
  • During the scene where Jade encounters Baraka in the armory, he and another Tarkatan are handling a crate of delivered Earthrealm weapons. The other Tarkatan curiously picks up a shotgun and holds it so it's pointing straight at Baraka's head with his finger on the trigger. Baraka snaps "that is no toy!" and yanks it away like he's scolding a small child.
  • In one of the game's hardest missions, Ermac has to fight off not one, but three Goros, with a single lifebar and no healing. His pre-match statement on the matter?
    • There's also a mission where Stryker has to do the exact same thing, only with three Shao Kahns. His response?
    Stryker: I think I'm going to need backup...
  • Before fighting Kung Lao, Quan Chi remarks that he will be unable to stop "this deadly alliance", referring to himself and Shang Tsung. Almost as if he was aware of what a lame Mythology Gag Quan Chi just pulled out of the ether, Shang Tsung shoots him a brief look of incredulity before the fight starts.
  • In Liu Kang's chapter in Story Mode, there is a blink-and-you'll-miss-it moment before the battle with Kitana, where Liu literally kicks her in the ass.
  • Mileena has a move where she stabs overhead with a sai and connecting causes the sai to be lodged on the back of the opponent's head. She also has a move where she jumps on the opponent and bites his/her neck various times. But if the sai is there when she does the move, she instead takes out the sai, stabs the opponent repeatedly and finishes by putting the sai back on the opponent's neck.
  • If you repeatedly land a sweep attack one-after-another you basically get your opponent to do the worm dance. Try it on Shao Kahn, and see if he likes it.
  • After Shao Kahn is seemingly killed in battle by Liu Kang, we see his lieutenants arguing over who should rightfully succeed him. Just then, Kahn himself enters the throne room, rejuvenated by Quan Chi's magic. Shang Tsung, with Oh, Crap! written all over his face, pathetically tries to curry favor. Kahn, still nursing his wounded chest, angrily says to him, "Not... one... word." It's a very "daddy's home and now you're in hot water" moment.
    • Even more priceless is how Kahn makes his entrance:
    Baraka: Mileena is his heir. SHE should rule!
    Shang Tsung: Mileena? She exists only because of MY sorcery.
    Shao Kahn (walking in): And you breathe because I restrain MINE.
  • After knocking an opponent into a pit, you can still hear the character's win quote after you do it. It's especially funny if you're playing as Jax, who exclaims "Get some!"