Funny / Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater

Funny moments in Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater.

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In-Game

• To start, when you cause a Game Over (either through dying or killing an important character), you hear Colonel Campbell from the future telling you that you can't do that, or that "you can't go changing the future like that", because "you'll create a time paradox!" The "MISSION FAILED" / "_____ IS DEAD" text will slowly morph to "TIME PARADOX", accordingly.
• The very bombastic Bond-like theme song loses its sheen somewhat when it gets to the line about eating tree frogs.
• The part when you rescue Sokolov. He follows Snake outside, imitating his moves and somehow ending up with a Kamehame Hadoken gesture, at which point the camera pans over to Snake, staring at the scientist with a complete "What the fuck are you doing?" look on his face.
• Apparently, while stranded in a remote Russian jungle and cut off from official support, Ocelot managed to order not one, but three Colt SAAs. And a stock. And a blank. And get them with enough time to learn how to juggle and twirl them. And then he uses this skill to impress Snake during their boss fight. And it works. And also he apparently learned how to swat bees out of the air by twirling said guns, or he just figured they'd be more efficient than swatting with his gloved hands.
• At one point in the prologue, Snake sees a guard at the bridge. He looks up, notices a beehive up in the tree... and his face splits into a hilariously wicked smile.
• When The Boss reveals her defection to the Soviet Union, she rushes Snake and disassembles his pistol, before knocking him to the ground. He goes to aim his gun at her, before realizing that it's now missing a barrel, among other things. Then, to add insult to injury, she dismissively tosses the removed parts back at Snake, who doesn't even bother to catch it, briefly looking like a pouting child who just got told off by his mom. Though to be fair, that's not too far off from what's happening here.
• When you again encounter The Boss at the beginning of Operation Snake Eater, Snake asks her what she's doing there. In response, she gives a Kubrick Stare, throws off her cloak, and rushes him. The funny part comes in the fact that Snake is shown grimacing and flinching just before she does.
• The second time you meet Ocelot, he pulls some of the fancy gun twirling he'll be known for, twirls it into his holster, then pulls it out and puts it back in the right way.
  • And during the final duel between Snake and Ocelot, Ocelot promptly jabs Snake in the eye. That is, the eyepatch-covered eye he blew out by accident. Snake just grows a big, smarmy grin as Ocelot realizes his mistake.
  • Ocelot's meow, it's so disarming and anticlimactic. And he uses it to call in his soldiers, so it gets used more than once. The Japanese variation of it is even more hilarious.
  • In the HD remake, the achievement/trophy you get for killing Ocelot is called "Problem Solved, Series Over".
• It can be hard to take some scenes seriously depending on your choice of face paint and uniform, such as going shirtless and using the nation's flag. Or wearing the Raiden mask, the lips of which do not move. Snake talking to EVA in the fight against Volgin and the Shagohod, while wearing the Raiden mask, is hilarious.
• Granin tells Snake where Sokolov has been moved to despite them being on different sides because Snake complimented him on his shoes. Even EVA sounds confused over this.
• If you get a Dragunov early enough, you can snipe The End as soon as you see him in his first cutscene and skip his entire boss battle... though you do get smacked by a wheel from his wheelchair after he explodes.
• At the conclusion of The End's Final Speech, his dentures fly out of his mouth in a gratuitous 3D manner. Talk about Mood Dissonance.
  • How can we forget one of his eyes popping out, Looney Tunes-style, to look through his scope in the lead-up to the fight?
  • One way to defeat him is to save your game and then let the system clock advance one week. When you resume, The End will be dead of old age.
• The existence of The Ladder, one of the greatest boss fight in video gaming. It is infamous amongst those who played, and it even comes with its own rendition of the main theme song.
  • Appropriately enough, falling off the ladder will kill you, as it's quite a long fall. Falling off the first rung of the ladder, however...
• Snake nerding out on the customizations of his new 1911 pistol.
  • And ignoring all the Fanservice EVA provides. The lady gets understandably frustrated by his antics.
    • For what it's worth, the player can acknowledge EVA's... presence by pressing R1 during the cutscene.
• Snake's battle with The Fury is pretty tense, but sometimes, when he kills Snake (or if you use the Fake Death Pill), he sounds rather surprised.
  The Fury: Oh, he's dead? ...Did he feel the fury?
• Johnny's intestinal problems.
  Johnny: (after using the toilet) Wow, I didn't think that was possible! That's a record! Er... will this even flush?
  • The circumstances in which you meet Johnny here mirror the circumstances where you meet Johnny in the first Metal Gear Solid. You've just been tortured, you're in a cell stripped of almost all your equipment (though for some reason you get to keep the Single Action Army, though it has no ammo), and you need to escape. If you attempt to crawl beneath the bed (which did work in the first game), Johnny will freak out... before then bending down to check beneath the bed.
    Johnny: [sounding like a parent admonishing a mischievous kid] Knock it off!
• During the river section with The Sorrow, he tries to guilt Snake with every man he killed during the game. The devs planned on players having Snake shoot every soldier in the balls before killing them, turning the entire part into one big joke with the spirits clutching their wounds and telling him that they wish he'd get his nuts popped.
  Soldier: I'm worthless now!!
  • Developer's Foresight reaches absurd levels with one very specific scenario in The Sorrow boss battle. Kill a soldier on the Krasnogorje mountains, wait for a vulture to peck on their corpse, then kill and eat said vulture. During the boss battle, the soldier's ghost will have a vulture on its shoulder, and will scream at you, "You ate me!"
• Speaking of The Sorrow, during the torture scene, pressing R1 while The Boss is in front of Snake allows you to see his ghost, as always, hovering near her... only this time, he's gleefully holding a small blackboard with the cell door unlock frequency. For how creepy the guy is most of the time, it's kind of funny to see him helping out Snake in such a goofy manner.
  • A similar thing happens before Volgin's boss fight, except now the blackboard displays a Real Time timer indicating the time left before the C3 goes off.
• After escaping the jail cell, keep the transmitter in and go to the waterfall for a really funny hidden cutscene.
  • Specifically, after Eva notices the transmitter, she and Snake have a very innuendo-laden talk while she tries to remove it. What takes it over the top, however, is that what they're doing is shown in shadow, Austin Powers style, with Eva apparently putting Snake in a number of wrestling holds.
• If you throw a frog at Volgin during their first fight, he'll actually stop fighting you and take a few seconds to focus solely on the frog. The icing on the cake is this absolutely hilarious line:
  Volgin: A tree frog!? Kuwabara, Kuwabara...
• During the final battle with Volgin, it's possible for Snake to accidentally get run over by EVA on her motorcycle.
• Volgin himself is so inept at being a proper villain that he ends up giving you all of his information while he's torturing you for yours. Not only does he reveal what his Philosopher's Legacy is, he goes over the following: its entire history involving a shadowy group that he's a part of, reveals the exact method to access it, and goes the extra mile and tells you where the key is held while being completely unaware of it. Not only does he spill his guts to Naked Snake, the confirmed American spec-ops soldier (who he might understandably think won't escape), he does so in front of Ocelot (who's an undercover spy), Eva (who's an undercover spy), and the Boss (who's an undercover spy).
  • In a horrible way, Volgin's method for "interrogating" Granin. He stuck Granin in a metal barrel and just punched it until Granin died from the electrocution/punching. He treats this whole affair like he couldn't get Granin to confess when he didn't even try to question him.
• When escorting a badly-wounded Eva through an enemy-patrolled forest, when her stamina gets near-empty, she laments on how hungry she is, and can even sometimes whine about how badly she wants some Instant Noodles, though it actually helps at her beginning spot in the second forest area as she ducks down, thus leaving her harder to spot by the enemy soldiers whilst you take them down, thus keeping both you and her out of trouble and not risking an Alert phase happening.
  EVA: ...Instant noodles...
• Watch what happens when Naked Snake fakes his death in front of The Boss. As she is well acquainted with how the fake death pill works, she merely slashes at your fake death-induced "corpse", depleting your actual health instead..
• When Ocelot and Snake have one final hand-to-hand duel at the end of the game, Ocelot uses an opening to go for an eye jab. Snake briefly grunts- before the camera cuts to reminding us he's got an eyepatch and a useless eye, panning out to show him wearing a snake-eating grin in absolute smugness before Ocelot realizes his folly.
• ALL the Easter Eggs in the third game qualify. Take your pick between the conversation between Para-Medic and SigInt about Snake and the glowing mushrooms, calling Eva after you call everyone else with the crocodile cap on, wearing the scientist disguise in the jungle, etc.
• The "Snake vs Monkey" minigame. Your only objective? Sneak up and capture the monkeys from Ape Escape.
  • When you complete a mission, Snake does a cute little victory dance. When you finish the last one, Snake does his dance... while looking at a pin-up poster on the wall.
  • The opening video. Just... that.

Codecs

• On a New Game Plus playthrough, if the player calls The Boss when Snake is wearing the Tuxedo or GA-KO camo, the following conversation occurs:
  The Boss: Snake...
  Naked Snake: What's up, boss?
  The Boss: Don't you "what's up" me! Just what do you think you're doing?!
  Naked Snake: What do you mean?
  The Boss: "What do I mean?" What is that camouflage you're wearing?
  Naked Snake: Oh, this. What do you think?
  The Boss: Of all the...
  Naked Snake: Looks pretty good on me, doesn't it?
  The Boss: Are you out of your mind? You can't wear that in battle! It's like saying to the enemy, "Hey, here I am! Shoot me!"
  Naked Snake: Well, I'll admit, it is a little on the flashy side...
  The Boss: Then why don't you—
  Naked Snake: But it does look good on me, doesn't it?
  The Boss: (sighs)
  Naked Snake: You don't think so?
  The Boss: Listen, wise ass! Camouflage isn't going to do jack if it doesn't help you blend in with your surroundings!
  Naked Snake: Well, I think it looks good on me...
  The Boss: (exasperated) Fine. Wear whatever you want!
  Naked Snake: (in the most dejected tone of voice possible) I thought you'd like it...
• Big Boss falling in love with the first Cardboard Box of the series, and claiming that he feels at peace when he is inside of it, as if it was his destiny for him and the box to meet. What clinches it is Sigint's disbelief at Big Boss using the box as a means of camouflage and saying that he doesn't wanna know what he means when he says that he feels safe inside the box, promptly ending the conversation. Furthermore, this gives a hilarious insight into why Snake (and even Liquid, according to Super Smash Brothers Brawl) likes the Cardboard Box so much—it runs in the family.
  SigInt: Uhhh, Snake? What are you doing?
  Naked Snake: I'm in a box.
  SigInt: A cardboard box? Why are you—?
  Naked Snake: I dunno. I was just looking at it, and suddenly I got this irresistible urge to get inside. No, not just an urge, more than that. It was my destiny to be here, in the box!
  SigInt: Destiny?
  Naked Snake: Yeah. And then when I put it on, I suddenly got this feeling of inner peace. I can't put it into words. I feel... safe. Like this is where I was meant to be. Like I'd found the key to true happiness.
  SigInt: Uh huh...
  Naked Snake: Does any of that make sense?
  SigInt: Not even a little.
  Naked Snake: You should come inside the box. Then you'll know what I mean.
  SigInt: Man, I don't wanna know what you mean! Between you and Para-Medic, is everyone but me that is hooked up with the Major strange!?
  Naked Snake: Uh, eghhh...
  SigInt: Yeah, well, anyway, I suppose even that dumb-ass box might make a decent disguise if you wear it inside a building.
  • Becomes Hilarious in Hindsight when you consider what happens when Paz (or Kaz) joins you inside your box in Peace Walker.
• Snake's thinking noises. Hm? Hrum? Grh? Guu? Gmm. Urh?
• The Food codec calls. They're usually long and incredibly one-sided on Para-Medic's part, so Snake often gets bored and just spaces out before asking how it tastes. He even does the latter for foods like mushrooms that are explicitly poisonous.
  • Try the conversation about the glowing mushrooms.
    Naked Snake: Para-Medic.
    Para-Medic: What's up?
    Naked Snake: You were right.
    Para-Medic: About what?
    Naked Snake: I ate a Russian glowcap and it charged up my batteries.
    Para-Medic: Huh?!
    Naked Snake: ...What's wrong?
    Para-Medic: I, uh... that's... that's great! Um... Snake, can you excuse me for a second?
    Naked Snake: Sure.
    (she leaves her microphone; Snake can still hear her)
    Para-Medic: Did you just hear that?
    SigInt: Yeah. There's no way eating a bio-luminescent mushroom would cause your batteries to recharge.
    Para-Medic: What do you think it means?
    SigInt: Beats me. Maybe it's all in his mind.
    Para-Medic: You mean like a placebo effect?
    SigInt: (chuckles) Why not? You've seen how gullible he is.
    Para-Medic: I guess there's no harm done. Should we let him keep believing it?
    SigInt: Sounds good to me.
    (she comes back)
    Para-Medic: Okay, Snake, I'm back. ...Yes, the Russian glowcap is a glowing mushroom, so it'll recharge your batteries when you eat it.
    Naked Snake: (grumbles) ?
  • Of course, when Snake gets an Ural luminescent mushroom and asks Para-Medic if it tastes good due to looking like a shiitake mushroom, she assures him that it will. Upon eating it though, it turns out to be poisonous. Calling Para-Medic after that, with the tone of how she responds, you have to wonder if she was sincere about her guidebook having an error, or if it actually said that it was poison and Para-Medic wanted to get back at Snake for all the previous times.
    Naked Snake: By the way, Para-Medic.
    Para-Medic: What?
    Naked Snake: I tried that Ural luminescent mushroom you were talking about.
    Para-Medic: So, how did it taste?
    Naked Snake: It was poisonous.
    Para-Medic: What?
    Naked Snake: It was a poison mushroom.
    Para-Medic: Really?
    Naked Snake: Yeah.
    Para-Medic: That's weird... The guide says it's...
    Naked Snake: Are you sure that guide is reliable?
    Para-Medic: Don't worry, it's fine. It just happened to be wrong this one time...
    (Snake grumbles)
  • Talking to Para-Medic about the Siberian Ink Cap and how it can give you the hangover from hell if you consume one after drinking alcohol, Snake gets offended that she would suggest he'd be drinking on a mission. She claims to be knocking back a shot right then, only to reveal she was joking. Cue Snake saying, "I need a drink...".
    • As an added bonus, if you don't trigger this conversation until after meeting Granin, Snake will throw in a line about warning Granin about the mushrooms. This just confuses Para-Medic.
• The conversations Snake has with Para-Medic, Sigint and even The Boss about his cigars. None of them are letting Snake up on it, though at the very least Sigint and Boss offer some unorthodox uses for the cigar.
• Why is focus put on Naked Snake stamping out his cigar? During the release of MGS2, Kojima got a lot of criticism from fans over Solid Snake thoughtlessly tossing his cigarette butt away into the Hudson river. For this game, he made it a point to have Naked Snake stamp it out on the plane before deployment. Who knew the future Big Boss apparently makes sure to dispose of his tobacco in ways that don't cause littering and polluting?
• Talking to the people in your codec list (call Eva last) with the crocodile cap on shows you that the word "normal" does not apply to anyone involved with the FOX unit.
• When Naked Snake asks if he can more or less make the first part of his codename true:
  Naked Snake: So... Is there a way to take off my pants?
  SigInt: Say what?!
  Naked Snake: My pants. Can I—
  SigInt: Aw, hell no! This FOX unit is a nut fest!
  Naked Snake: (cackles)
• Call Sigint after you get the Patriot to get this exchange:
  SigInt: Where'd you get it?
  Naked Snake: Hmm?
  SigInt: I said, where'd you get it?
  Naked Snake: SigInt, don't get worked up over details.
  SigInt: Wha—? (sigh)
  • Followed by:
    SigInt: ...and it never runs out of ammo?
    Naked Snake: Never.
    SigInt: Why's that?
    Naked Snake: (sagely) Because the internal feed mechanism is shaped like an infinity symbol.
    SigInt: (portraying confidence) Ahhh, I get it. Yep, that'll give you unlimited ammo.
• The "Chocolate Chip" camo pattern, thus dubbed by Sigint, is useful in desert or mountainous regions. But where'd he get the idea to call it "Chocolate Chip?"
  SigInt: 'Cause that's what it reminds me of.
  Naked Snake: What?
  SigInt: Those little round cookies the Major is always snackin' on.
  Major Zero: They're not cookies. They're scones.
  SigInt: Major!
  Major Zero: And it's not a snack. It's afternoon tea.
  SigInt: Snack, tea, same thing.
  Major Zero: (indignant) No, it's not! Look here, afternoon tea is a fine old English tradition.
  SigInt: Uh-oh. Here we go again. Talk to you later, Snake.
  Major Zero: The origins of afternoon tea go back to the Victorian Era. Anna Maria, the seventh Duchess of Bedford, was—
  (Naked Snake abruptly ends the call)
• Every time you save a game with Para-Medic, she'll give a small conversation about a movie she'll recommend to Snake. Many of the conversations are hilarious:
  • At one point, Para-Medic talks about a new movie that just came out in Japan called Godzilla (1954). She thinks it'll be a big movie franchise, and a successful American version will be made later. Snake has his doubts about Godzilla. To be fair, he is right about an American adaptation not being successful... though Para-Medic was right too, in the long run.
  • One interaction has Para-Medic bring up From Russia with Love, which Snake has heard of, but doesn't like because "Real spies are nothing like James Bond." This prompts Zero to butt in and start geeking out over Bond, much to Para-Medic's dismay.
    Zero: Maybe if you changed your name to Double-O-Snake?
  • In one conversation, she brings up The War of the Worlds, but fumbles the summary because she pretty obviously chickened out and didn't actually see it, much to Snake's amusement. Even when she tries to digress by sharing a story of her and her family's reaction to the older radio adaptation, Snake insists on her admitting that she hasn't seen the movie.
  • During the conversation about vampire bats, Snake stops Para-Medic from talking about vampire movies. The examples he gives of B-movie titles include Attack of the Vampire Doughnuts and Dracula Versus the Space Hippos.
  • Among the many references is this gem:
    Para-Medic: Hey Snake, have you ever seen My Mother was a Teenage Spider Queen from Mars?
    Snake: I can't say that I have...
    Para-Medic: ...Neither have I.
    (call ends)
  • There's this gem after you get Raikov's suit and call the Major.
    Zero: Ah, your Raikov disguise has turned out nicely.
    Naked Snake: Yeah. Not even his own mother could tell the difference.
    Zero: Indeed. You're starting to irritate me already.
• Sigint talks about a nightmare he once had where a giant turd shot turds at everything and turned everything and everyone into shit. The single most hilarious part about this is that it's actually fairly accurate Futureshadowing regarding Metal Gears as a whole. (Unfortunately, the conversation was cut from the HD and 3DS releases, since the Guy Savage demo/nightmare sequence that comes up when loading from a certain save point—which was also cut from those versions—is required to trigger the conversation.)

Other

• Metal Gear Raiden: Snake Eraser. Basically, Raiden goes back in time to try and wipe Snake from history and be heralded as the main character for the entire franchise. Hilarity Ensues.
  (Raiden teleports in, Terminator-style, and gets knocked out of the way by Naked Snake)
  "You've created a time paradox! You can't go changing the future like that!"
  (Raiden gets knocked into the air by a motorcycle, lands on top of Ocelot, whom he kisses by accident, and then starts dry heaving afterwards upon realizing it)
  "You've created a time paradox! Don't mess with the future! You have to understand the future!"
  (Raiden gets *ahem*ed by Volgin, resulting in the camera shaking off-screen as he's being... roughed up. Yeah, let's go with that.)
  "You can't do that! The future will be changed; you'll create a time paradox!"
  (Raiden teleports to the Final Boss scene, and gets a nice view of The Boss's Navel-Deep Neckline... and promptly gets bitch-slapped, while Snake stares in shock)
  "TIME PARADOX!"
  (Raiden teleports to the scene where Volgin punches the oil barrel with Granin's corpse. Raiden is sent flying and the barrel lands over him. He then runs with the barrel on top of him.)
  "TIME PARADOX!"
  (Raiden teleports to the scene where Volgin beats up Snake for disguising as Raikov and ends up getting beaten up again by Volgin)
  "You changed the future!! You created a time paradox!"
  (Raiden meets Big Boss in person during the chase scene with the Shagohod)
  Raiden: The legendary... Big Boss...
  (Raiden is immediately trampled by the guards, and then gets run over by the Shagohod, and is still in one piece, as if he were a cartoon character)
  • In the end, Raiden decided to go forward to Metal Gear 2 and kill Solid Snake (circa Zanzibar Land) there, complete with actual 8-bit graphics. However, he gets shot by Big Boss, claims that he should have killed him when he had the chance, then the screen fades to black. The last line involves Rosemary saying that there will probably be a MGS5. And sure enough, Raiden does return as the main character in Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance, salvaging something out of the sheer humiliation the poor guy had to put up with.
  • The other Secret Theater videos are all pretty funny. Sadly, they were left out of the HD re-release. The most notable examples include:
    • Get Down! Sokolov gets someone else to save him. The hero is Sokolov in drag, with tons of Ho Yay.
    • Payback: The DCI wants his handshake, dammit. Then we are treated to Snake and the DCI in the Rokovoj Bereg, with officials in tow, them watching Snake and the DCI dancing and kissing each other. And the stinger is a naked Raiden being chased by a Shagohod and eventually crushed by it.
    • Metal Gear S: Major Zero informed Snake that he will be joined by another operative, who turns out to be SigInt. SigInt handles most situations coolly and collected, while Snake always gets the worst of every situation.
    • Gotcha This Time: Snake slams the butterfly-shaped C3 onto the planted charge too hard, causing the timer to reset to 0 and detonate the other charges, destroying the hangar. His expression is priceless.
    • Die Hard: Volgin breaks the laws of physics after the Shagohod unexpectedly crashes during the pursuit sequence.
    • The Quick Version: Ocelot, demanding a final duel when chasing the WIG with his hovercraft. When he tries to jump in, he rolls to the other side of the interior, hits the opposite door, which breaks under his weight and sends him tumbling outside into the lake. As the screen blacks out, Snake gives a sigh of disappointment as he looks back after him. In the Japanese version, Snake mockingly says: "you're pretty good!"
    • The Joy: The Boss ends up switching Naked Snake's fate in the Virtuous mission. Wrong target, Pain...
    • The Ultimate Weapon: The Boss and Naked Snake play a serious form of Rock, Paper, and Scissors. Naturally, the Boss is winning... until Snake throws a hand gesture that incorporates all three hands of Rock, Paper, Scissors into one. Seeing it sends The Boss into a breakdown at the technique. Though once she finishes processing it, she certainly doesn't take Snake's cheating well... at all.
    • Cat-like Behavior: Ocelot is holding up Eva, but this time Snake is wrong when he calls Ocelot out on not having enough bullets, and gets shot for his trouble. Though Ocelot's gloating causes him to forget about Eva, who slips away as she does in canon. Ocelot does not take this well.
    • Basashi: Para-Medic takes the Boss's place in the cutscene where Naked Snake reunites with his mentor, and the Boss is very damn pissed that her scene is taken away from her when she watches from afar, with her anger so hot it generates steam from the top of her head, complete with hilarious train SFX and style. All while Para-Medic scolds Snake for thinking about being so hungry, he can eat, well...
    • I Read Them for the Articles: An alternate first-time meetup with Sokolov ends with both him and Naked Snake having... a shared hobby.
    • He's Still Got It: The End somehow shirks off his urge to challenge Naked Snake after spontaneously waking up during the scene with him in a wheelchair when Tatyana walks by, with an added mini-glamour scene that shocks him awake and leads him to instead pursue... tastier endeavours. Along with teaching Ocelot a lesson—twice.
• The trailer for the 3DS version features a cameo by Yoshi. Yes, really. And he replaces the Kerotan frogs in the 3DS version.
• A certain player commonly known as Gishiki no Hito (儀式の人, translated as "The Ritual Guy") demonstrates an uncanny, perfect understanding of the game.Watch the insanity take place here.
  • Better yet, if you happen to have a Nico Nico Douga account, why don't you go for the original cuts?

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