- After Nick is revived (as a disembodied-yet-still-sentient head) by Juliet's magic, he cries: "How am I still talking...without a FUCKING THORAX?!"
- Rosalind Starling's dream is to meet Justin Bieber and add his skull to her collection. Her collection of yeti skulls.
- (pushing aside the boss's title card) "'Torturing small animals'?! What kind of whackjob waterboards Chip 'n Dale?"
- Three words: Mecha Chicken Zilla.
- If you click on Chat the giant zombie chicken's profile, it says that even other chickens thought he was particularly stupid.
- Since Juliet and Nick have a lot of Casual Danger Dialog through the course of the game, a lot of their interactions are going to end up being this.
Juliet: I hate it when everyone turns into zombies, but it's also kind of fun 'cause I get to do stuff like jump on a firetruck!
- Juliet says she has to find her sensei, Nick asks for clarification, Juliet doesn't, and Nick asks if that means he's her teacher. She's ecstatic that he can speak Japanese and blurts out a bunch of Gratuitous Japanese. When Nick clarifies that he only knows that one word, she says he's like a kitten who doesn't speak Japanese.
- When asked how she and Nick can have babies if he's just a head, Juliet suggests using magic and their DNA to make a child. And cheerfully adds that there's a 50% chance of it being a cannibal.
- "Agnes used to be so hot. Now she's got an intestine coming out of her vagina."
- "DON'T BE RACIST AGAINST COWS, NICK!"
- When Juliet asks Nick his favorite color, his fumbling to pick one is quite amusing. His delivery is so effective. "I fucked up. It's yellow." Also doubles as a Pop-Culture Bonus. It's a reference to Monty Python.
- During Mariska's level, Nick asks Juliet if she's ever had a "space cake", or a pot brownie. Juliet is disgusted at the thought of doing drugs. "R-Right, me neither. I have no idea never what a space cake is like. It totally doesn't remind me of how I feel right now at all."
- In the same level, the boss starts out impersonating Rosalind in the intro cutscene, but Juliet gets suspicious because "Rosalind" mentions fixing the bus, when Juliet knows that Rosalind doesn't know the first thing about cars. The implication is that a zombie hippie high off her ass can fix and drive a bus better than Rosalind can.
- Juliet explaining all the various mythological baddies she's slain in her life.
"I killed a whole tribe of Frankenberries once!""Frankenberries? What, like the cereal?""That cereal is total propaganda to get you to trust them!"
- "Nick Popper! I can shoot your head with this!" "...What?"
- Nick stays attached to Juliet while she's changing into her alternate costumes, which suggests she has no inhibitions in changing in front of him. As a result, you'll hear a lot of this:
Juliet: So, how do I look?Nick: God, I wish I had a penis right about now.
- Tying into the above point, Juliet's costumes carry over into cutscenes. The drama of her confrontations with the Zombie Lords tend to be ruined when only wearing a bikini or cosplaying.
- While fighting the zombie Mr. Fitzgibbon, Nick yells, "He gave me a D last week. Kill him!"
- And, then for additional therapy, you read Fitzgibbon's profile...and he's a furry. Who likes fur-orgies.
- During the Stadium stage:
Juliet: These zombies are like the awfullest dancers ever!Nick: Oh, this is awful. Oh, my god, I can't unsee this. It's worse than when I walked in on my parents having sex.
- "Killing zombies gives me total wood!" "...That's a weird thing to say."
- During the Cathedral stage, Juliet and Nick come across some zombies dancing (badly).
- The part where Nick tells Juliet that he once dissected a frog, and Juliet expresses disgust toward it (but she has no problem with killing zombies). Nick then remarks, "THAT'S gross?"
- This gem from the O'Bannon Farm:
Juliet: I'm glad I just so happened to wear my zombie-fighting underwear today.Nick: What?Juliet: Sensei Morikawa said wearing cotton underwear with little teddy bears or hearts is best for doing battle. He'd make me wear them to every class!Nick: ...I am so creeped out right now.
- From the High School:
Nick: Well, that was a crappy party.Juliet: Wow. Dumbest, most explodiest birthday cake ever.
- During Rosalind's antics with the wrecking ball in the Cathedral stage, Juliet refers to the former as a "spazmatoid", leading to this exchange:
Nick: Isn't 'spazmatoid' an offensive term?Juliet: To who?Nick: To spazmatoids. Like your sister.
- Juliet suggests that Nick should try doing some cheers:
Nick: (completely deadpan) Rah rah, it sucks being a head, fuck everything, rah rah. How's that?"
- Nick and Mr. Starling.
"What are you gonna do, throw magic stars at chupacabras with your tongue?""Maybe, Dad. Nick's tongue is very limber!""AND HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?!""Sh-She doesn't! She doesn't know that at all, sir! She has no idea that my tongue is limber!"
- A lot of the zombies' dialogue.
"Nuclear testes in my pants!""I'm gonna fist my ass with your head!""I'm dying! And really fat!""Ten hutt! Ten butt fuck!"
"WELCOME TO SKULL-FUCK CENTRAL!""I got a hard-on for dead cheerleaders!"
- Zed in particular is a hot mess.
- Pretty much anything that comes out of Rosalind's mouth.
(hysterical laughter) "This is awful, but hilarious!!""SHITMUFFINS!""There was a mosquito on my arm, and it looked like my friend, Brian. And I hated it, and I smashed it!! Hilarious!"
- Josey's influences include, amongst other things, eight-foot piles of cocaine and C-3PO.
- Rosalind plays with Nick's head and puts makeup on him. Mr. Starling is absolutely disgusted and orders Nick to "stop acting like a fruit", completely ignoring his protests that he's helpless and Rosalind is the one who did it.
- Some of Nick's comments during the boss fights are absolute gold.
(against Zed) "You wear all that makeup to hide your indistinct chin!"(against Vikke's final form) "He's like my big asshole head brother!"(against Mariska) "Damn, this bitch is stinky!"(against Josey) "It's an IFO: Identified Fucking Object!"(against Lewis) "Now I'm glad they slaughtered all those elephants in Africa. FUCK THEM!""Dude! Black Knight! You have no legs! Stop already!"
- "Killing people is fun when they're zombies!"
- "Just last week, you had to take your car to the shop, because you didn't even know cars needed oil!"
- "We are vikings, short and stout! We like to drink and FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!"
- The part where Sensei is dying, and then right when we think he's dead, he immediately gets back up just to hand Juliet a birthday present, and then he dies.
- Whenever Juliet gets struck by lightning or shocked by Vikke's electric attacks, Nick will sometimes say, "Lightning tastes like ass!" or "Ah! I think my fillings popped out!"
- The ads with live-action Juliet, such as the Special Edition one, and the Zom-Be-Gone one.
- The fan-made rap Lickin' the Lollipop, especially the part where Juliet says, "When Nick's being a dick, I just fart in his face!"
- After Juliet saves one student, he thanks her by saying, "I'm totally gonna masturbate to you tonight."
- Juliet dying nets an exasperated death rattle of "...seriously?..."
Funny / Lollipop Chainsaw
These scenes really put the "LOL" in Lollipop Chainsaw.