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Funny: Gears of War
  • Early in Gears 1, as Delta gets their first look at Alpha Squad, currently pinned down by multiple Troika turrets.
    Lt. Kim: "Alpha, we have a visual on your location."
    Damon: "We'd like to have your ammo on our location right now."
  • Damon's quote after the Berserker is defeated and Marcus gets promoted: "No, don't give the smart guy a promotion, give it to a jackass instead."
  • Dom And Cole at the beginning of Act 2:
    Cole: "Yeah, I'm gonna find me some Locust, and I'm gonna ruin their day. You know what I mean? I bring the pain!"
    Dom: "Don't you ever get tired?"
    Cole: "Hell to the no!"
  • Damon and Cole ending up in a sewer at one point.
  • Cole grabs a microphone while inside the Locust base and interrupts the encourage of the Locust Horde by the Locust Queen, Myrrah, taunting them all with this: "Delta Squad is in yo' house, bitch! You hear dat shit?! You grubby-ass bitches are goin' down! Like way downdead down... so down you ain't even gonna know which way is up! Yo' asses are gonna be cryin' to yo' skank-ass queen! 'Oh mommy, don't let the bad man hurt us!' Fuck you! We gonna whoop yo' momma's ass! WOO!!"
    • It must be heard to truly appreciate the awesomeness.
    • It shows up again in Gears 3. If you activate the Thrashies ad that plays sound repeatedly, it will eventually play the rant instead of it's usual soundbite ("The Cole Train runs on whole grain, baby! Whoo!").
  • As the Lambent board the Sovereign in Gears 3, several drones go through Dom's garden (and if you gun them down, they explode in Dom's garden).
    Dom: "YOU FUCKED UP MY TOMATOES, YOU ASSHOLE!"
  • A sniper manages to get Clay Carmine in his sights... It doesn't work.
    Clay: "Jeez Louise, what the fuck?!"
  • When Cole returns to Cougars Stadium, his old home field, the Lambent follow and a fight breaks out on the field. He goes into an Indulgent Fantasy Segue where he's running a bomb like a football past waves of Lambent and "spikes" it on the Stalk. While he's doing an endzone dance, the stalk explodes, sending him flying. The others come over to him and try to move him, only for him to pop up like nothing happened.
    Cole: Haha! The Train's still got the moves, baby! Now that was a move I first used against the Eagles in the national finals! Course, them bitches didn't explode!
    • Even better: The explosion literally knocks Cole out of the flashback! Before it goes off, he (thinks he)'s wearing his thrasball uniform, and after he lands, he's back in his real armor.
  • Marcus asks how to kill the Lambent Leviathan. Damon has an idea. Cole interprets.
    Cole: "Uh, puttin' it scientifically? We need to blow his brains out his ass!"
  • When part of Delta is about to fall off a collapsing bridge in Gears of War 3, we get this gem from the ever sarcastic Damon to Samantha Byrne:
    Damon: "I suppose you want me to say I've always loved you. But I don't! I really, really don't!"
  • While exploring the Savage Locust fortress:
    Dom: So, any idea where we are now?
    Damon: Um... in the shit. (holds hand over his head) Up to here.
  • "When a Mommy Corpser and a Daddy Corpser love each other very much..." It's just the way Damon delivers that line that sells it as one of the funniest moments in the entire game.
  • The hilariously awkward scene in the elevator near the end of Gears 3, culminating in Marcus yelling for someone to shut up the intercom and Baird obliging by swiftly shooting it with his Snub before immediately going back to the conversation.
  • Clayton Carmine's Big Damn Heroes moment. As viewed here.
  • An Easter Egg in Gears of War 3 has you fight a giant, golden, fire-breathing chicken that explodes into rainbows when you defeat it.
  • The video at the 2010 Comic-Con, calling for fans to vote whether Clayton Carmine lives or dies. It has Dietrich Carmine applying for life insurance, only to be declined as the family is bankrupting the company. The various ways the salesman describes how Carmines die is especially hilarious.
  • Watching Marcus charge a Locust soldier with his chinsaw roaring only to whip around and destroy a couch because the color deeply offends him is hilarious.
    • There's also his apparent obsession with bacon.
  • One of the Stranded offer to trade Cole a side of bacon for Sam Byrne. Damon urges Cole to take the deal because they haven't had bacon in six months.
  • Cole + Slide = Hilarity.
  • "Eat shit and die!" is a one-liner that several of the COG say in multiplayer. Griffin, however, puts his own spin on it by saying "Eat shit! And then eat more shit!"
  • Meta-example : 2011 game of the year award on every game review websites are tense with Battlefield 3 and Modern Warfare 3 just asking for a final showdown we're all waiting for. Gamespot's best shooting game of 2011 award goes to Gears of War 3.
  • WHO WANTS TOAST?!
  • Marcus's lines after Delta takes down the giant worm in 2. You can just feel the 'I-am-so-effing-DONE' in his voice.
    Marcus: Control...Delta here...we just, ah...*cough cough gag*...oh I don't even know where to begin. Ah, just get get us the hell out of here...
Gate KeepersFunny/Video GamesGensou Shoujo Taisen

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