Captain Hero: I can't outrun a cute little squirrel! Wait a second... I don't have to! I just have to outrun you! HI-YA! (Kicks Clara and breaks her leg, causing her to fall over) SAVE YOURSELVES! (runs off)
Even funnier, the doll that got her voice box says "Just pretend you're eating a banana. If you don't do it, he'll break up with you."
The voices in Wooldoor's head in the movie.
"CUT THEIR THROATS AND DRINK THE CHILDREN'S BLOOD, WOOLDOOR. THEIR YOUTH WILL BE YOUR YOUTH."
(cheerfully) "You're telling the truth, aren't you? Because if you aren't, I will cut you! I'LL CUT YOU TO THE FUCKING BONE!"
"That Toot is up to something, and nothing is gonna stop me from finding out what th-" "CRUMB!"
Toot's romance with Foxxy's grandson Ray-Ray, a.k.a. "the wall guy".
Ray-Ray: There's just something about you and your huge fat ass that makes me feel safe. I don't know why I know, I just know.
Toot: That is the sweetest thing I have ever heard!
The reason Ray Ray loves her ass so much? According to an incredibly racist PSA by Wooldoor, its because tribal people used to hide from wildlife in caves, and it's encoded in their DNA that anything big and round with a crevice in it means safety.
Toot announcing her romance with Ray Ray before walking in on the main plot of Captain Hero's over-exuberant hunting and an army of killer deer.
Toot: HEY! YO! FARTWADS! The wall guy and I are in love and-what the HELL?!
Xandir: You used to care about me... about us.
Captain: What? When?
Xandir: You used to tell me I was pretty.
Captain: No, I didn't.
Xandir: You used to dress up for me!
Captain: Just that one time...
"Okay everyone! CIRCLE UP!"
In Toot Goes Bollywood, after Toot has vowed to start having more sex, every housemate refuses to have sex with her, including herself.
The role play session the therapist (Wooldoor) has the characters do in the Very Special Episode, which is extra hilarious, since they were ALREADY roleplaying, and the therapy session just ended with Toot and Captain Hero switching their characters around so Hero played Xandir's mom and Toot played Xandir's dad.
The episode where Toot and Ling-Ling get stranded in Mexico and have to earn 500 Billion Pesos (20 US dollars) to pay for a fine for accidentally killing the "most beautiful woman in Mexico, next to Edward James Olmos...". (She really was quite attractive aside from the moustache.) The solution? Put a fake beak on Ling-Ling, and enter him in cockfighting tournaments. Oh, and towards the end, we get this exchange.
King of Mexico: Guards, seize them.
[The guards lie passed out and one of them vomits in his sleep.]
King: Awww, this country SUCKS.
Another gem from that episode:
Queen Of Mexico: I grow so very bored of this refinement and exquisite luxury... *a rat walks by above her, vomits up a cockroach on her cleavage, which in turn vomits up a smaller rat that runs off*
The lampshading of how Foxxy has become incapable of remembering anyone's name in "Breakfast Food Killer" as Toot discusses the conspiracy regarding the cereal industry and Wooldoor's contract.
Foxxy: Tooky, can't you just be happy for Mapplethorpe?
Toot: Why don't any of you assholes believe me?! And why don't you know any of our names?
From the same episode, we have an entire off screen scene during the casting of a new cereal mascot. Wooldoor is trying to get inside the room where the auditions are held, but is held up by a stuck door. Made even more hilarious as the scene just goes on and on, and that the receptionist helping Woldoor is Boner from Growing Pains.
After spending the entire episode angsting over a bad review from Entertainment Weekly, followed by leading a bloody siege on the magazine's main office, Spanky meets the reviewer and discovers the reason why the review was so bad. She's some sort of amalgamation of every topic the show makes fun of.
Spanky: You're a Jewish, Conservative, Pro-Life, born again, overweight, Asian, homophobic lesbian chick who cuts herself!
Spanky: So maybe someone who doesn't happen to be a Jewish, Conservative, Pro-Life, born again, overweight, Indian, homophobic lesbian chick who cuts herself might not be offended by our show.
Reviewer: I have every right to tell people what I think of your show.
Spanky: Yes! BUT PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW YOU'RE NOT OUR AUDIENCE, ASSHOLE!
When Xandir finds out that he's gay, after taking the trial of the Woodbeast that cuts the hand off anyone gay, he locks himself in the bathroom to try another gay test.
Foxxy: What? The only test in there is a pregnancy test!
One of the earlier examples of Foxy never remembering anyone's name occurs when they lock Toot inside a closet because she wouldn't shut up about the Weinermobile, only to learn she was right about it.
Foxxy: I can't believe we forgot about you Took.
Toot: My name is TOOT!
Foxxy (bluntly): I'm pretty sure you're wrong.
Toot: I know my own NAME!
Foxxy: Anyways we sorry fatass.
The ending to "The Lemon AIDS Walk" when Captain Hero has "won" the AIDS walk by brutally murdering or injuring every other walker before they finished a single lap, all in memory of his dead friend Popeye, he sees a vision of him in the sky.
Captain Hero: Who the hell is that asshole?
Keep in mind Hero said his name less than five seconds before.
Also from that same episode, Hero befriends Popeye after he begins taking steroids so he can win the AIDS Walk, and at one point, we get this line.
Hero: Me and Popeye were getting bigger than we ever imagined! Soon we'd become so powerful we'd rule the galaxy as father and son! Which, unless I've become completely misguided, is why I started taking steroids in the first place.
"ACTIVATE HERO SHIELD!"
To specify, the "Hero Shield" involves Captain Hero grabbing a random bystander and using them to shield himself from bullets.
"Breakfast Food Killer" is one long Moment Of Funny. Of special note is:
Quackers, a parody of the Trix Rabbit, beating the crap out of two kids to get the UPC codes from their cereal boxes. Then a group of cereal mascots show up wanting the UPC codes for themselves. When Quackers refuses, the cloaked leader (actually Frankenberry in disguise) has the Soggies beat him to a pulp.
Frankenberry: Oh, looks like someone hasnt been getting his daily requirement of iron. Soggies? *The Soggies beat the shit out of Quackers with tire irons*
The mascot named Violent Retard, who isnt a cereal mascot at all, the others are just too afraid of him to tell him to leave.
Wooldoor's welcome party, which is a scene for scene parody of Boogie Nights, which is lampshaded by Toot.
Toot: This was supposed to be all mine! The cereal, the crappy friends, the word-for-word Boogie Nights parody, if you can call lazy plagiarism a parody!
The Good TimesRunning Gag. When a one-off character dies in the episode, someone says, "We'll always remember the good times", at which point the theme to Good Times plays, and even shows a parody of the intro.
Foxxy: Living without an Asian is like living WITH a Jewish woman. Horrible and I have no idea how or why anyone would tolerate it.
Meanwhile, Captain Hero is struck by lightning when a nipple ring he constructed out of the speaker from a See-And-Say he smashed conducts lightning during a thunderstorm. The lightning charged speaker allows him to talk to his past teenage self in Smalltown, 1986, a pathetic, squeaky Totally Radical loser. However, rather than giving his past self genuine advice, Hero uses the speaker to trick his teenaged self into a variety of humiliating acts, such as having sex with a hero sandwich, earning him the nickname "Captain Hero", and burning down the barn during a school barn dance...while having sex with a hero sandwich. In the end Hero reveals he's only doing this because someone did it to HIM as a teenager, not realizing that he's part of a time loop.
The racist Walrus cutaway joke in "Wooldoor Sockbat's Giggle-Wiggle Funny Tickle Non-Traditional Progressive Multicultural Roundtable!" that involves being deader than a racist walrus lost in the Detroit projects after dark.
"Don't any of you spookies have jobs?" "The HELL YOU SAY-?!"